SEVEN'S POV
"For fuck sake!" I cuss at myself under my breath, pulling on my hair in frustration as I quickly stride over to my car.
"That was fucking stupid, absolutely stupid idea!" I scold myself out loud and quickly hideaway in the confines of the tinted car. She had been right there, I could've reached out and touched her she was that fucking close. But she was absolutely terrified to see me, I know she saw me, her blown out wide eyes and open mouth gave that away as she stared at my chest through the gap in the book shelf.
"Fucking idiot!" I hit the steering wheel. I've blown it, I know I have. I don't know what I was thinking following her in there like that. She got the fright of her life but what did I expect? That she'd fling her arms around me, weep tears of joy and tell me she'd missed me?
Of course she fucking wouldn't do that. As far as Lilianna is concerned I'm probably the last person she wants to see after all these months. The way she had stared at me, in utter disbelief, I could see the hurt in her eyes. The way it pained her to be reminded of what we had, what I ruined. I shouldn't have bombarded her like that, I should have eased her into the idea of me even being back in town. I probably should have asked Mesha to let her know I was back and wanted to talk to her if she'd let me. But I know there's no way Mesha would ever fucking help me plan something like that.
I watch as Lilianna leaves the small book store, her hands free of the coffee she dropped at the sight of me. Her eyes scan the street back and forth before she begins walking back in the direction of her new home. She constantly checks over her shoulder and I know she's looking out for me. Does she want to see me? Or is she simply freaked out by my appearance in the book store?
I watch her walk down the street in the car, not starting it up until she's far down the road and almost out of sight. She will be home soon and I'm sure she didn't notice me parked here so I drive slowly and inconspicuously down the road after her. I catch a glimpse of Lily unlocking her door, she checks the street once more before stepping inside.
I pull up across the road so I can get the view slightly into her second floor apartment. Waiting for the huge windows to warmly glow signalling her entrance, when they do I can't help the thud in my chest. I had been so close to her in that book store, I could hear her intake of breath when she caught sight of me. I could smell her sweet vanilla scent, hell I swear I could feel the soft warmth from her body. The same warmth that use to comfort me in sleep when I was with her.
I had been so close but now here I am, far away yet again and watching her from the outside. I'm surprised when she appears at one of the large windows. She looks down at the street and then over to the small park that I'm sitting in the car next to. When those golden brown eyes set their gaze on me my heart begins to race. I sink in my seat, terrified that she's somehow able to see through the dark tinted windows.
Lilianna continues to unknowingly stare directly at me from her second story window and I feel as though my heart is literally leaping into my throat. Why is she staring? Does she know it's me? I hope she isn't scared, I mean the girls been followed before by a creep in a blacked out car so it would only be natural for her to be suspicious. But she hasn't noticed the car before so maybe she just thinks it's a nice car? She was never one to really be interested by that type of thing. I'm confused as I watch her watch me before disappearing back into her flat.
If I drive off right now it might be suspicious. I need to wait to leave so as not to cause any more stress for her today than my stint in the book store. As far as she knows this car could be empty and I need to make it seem as though it is. Within a moment she is back at the window and I'm glad I didn't drive off. She holds something very small and black in her hand, and I watch incredibly confused as she presses both her palms against the windowpane and leans forward.
To my utter confusion, surprise and shock I watch as Lilianna kisses the window, leaving the signature of her beautiful lips printed on the window.
"What are you doing?" I ask aloud as if she can hear me while she repeats the action over and over. The odd behaviour confuses me till she seems to finally stop pressing kisses to the window, looks over them herself and seems satisfied before glancing back down at me in the darken car to then disappear back into her flat.
She doesn't come back to the window again and I sit looking at the kiss marks she's left. Confused, I count over the randomly specific amount of prints she has left and my blood runs hot.
Seven.
She's left seven kisses to her window and I know this was not random. This was intentionally done and meant as some kind of message. For me.
The energy pulsing through my body right now is charged right from the centre of my heart that is beating like a wild drum. She knows, she knows I'm out here somewhere to see this cryptic message. And perhaps I was wrong that she doesn't want to see me. I couldn't possibly go up to her apartment right now, it would be too much even for me. But I think this might be her way of telling me that next time I pluck up the courage to approach her to not run away.
I stare at the seven kisses my girl has left there for me. She is my girl still, she always will be to me but this gives me hope that she might also still feel the same way. I grab my phone from the passenger seat and snap a quick photo of Lilianna's artwork on the window before dialling a number and pressing the phone to my ear. He answers on the fourth ring.
"Meet me at my house in half an hour." I instruct and hang up before Curby can disagree. I take another look up at the apartment but Lilianna does not return to the window. Satisfied, I start the car and make my way to my old house to meet Curby.
When I get to my house I park between my black Range Rover and Curby's red truck. He's already let himself inside as I catch him in the kitchen pouring himself a whiskey. Drinking my fucking nice stuff of course.
"Yeah sure, make yourself at home." I say sarcastically and gesture to his jacket hung over one of the dining chairs, his keys and phone on the opposite end of the bench he pours his drink.
"This isn't anyone's home." He shrugs.
"It's my house." I point out but he is right. This hasn't been and never will be home to me. I vaguely remember a dream I had months and months ago, where the white interior was disrupted with sentimental belongings. That was the only time this place felt like a home, and it wasn't even real.
"You need to learn to close your window when you leave. A birds nesting in your downstairs bathroom." A voice says entering the main living space. I turn to watch Grimmy zip up the front of his trousers and I roll my eyes as I turn back to Curby.
"Why did you bring him here?" It's not that I don't like Grim I just wanted to talk to Curby about what happened today with Lilianna and I don't know if I can trust Grim with this information. Grimmy has been apart of this gang since before I was born, he knows the old ways of how things were run which I respect but he also treats every rule as an absolute. This guy has given his whole life to this gang, his devotion and loyalty is unmatched.
"We need to talk to you." Curby says and something in his tone is off. He slides the drink he just poured across the marble island counter to me and immediately I'm on guard.
"What's wrong?" I look between the two of them as Grim comes to stand in the kitchen with us.
"Why would you assume something is wrong?" Curby sighs.
"Because the phrase, we need to talk to you, followed by you offering me a drink when you know I'm trying my damn best to stay sober isn't the set up for great news." I point out the fucking obvious and he seems to realise I'm right.
Curby and Grimmy keep sharing glances and it's setting me on fucking edge.
"So?" I ask itching to grab the glass of liquor but I restrain myself, instead focusing on frowning between the two of them.
"Are either of you going to spit it out or are you gonna get out my house?" I push harshly. I don't like being made to feel on edge like this, the longer they're taking to fucking talk the more agitated I become.
"Grim?" Curby initiates and I turn my focus to the older man. For the first time in my life Grim actually looks nervous or is it uncertainty? Either way this can't be good.
Grimmy scratches at the large scar on his face and seems undecided of how to speak.
"Uh, fuck okay may as well just get this over with." Grim takes the glass of whisky from in front of me and downs the entire glass before slamming the crystal back down to the marble.
Get what over with? What the fuck is the old codger on about now?
"First I want to say that I never said any of this because, well because Victor had said it was best you didn't know. After your father died he obviously took guardianship of you and we all did what he said was best for you. Not that we could disagree since he's obviously the Don as well." Grimmy begins and I frown, confused as to where this is going.
"Your mother was not some random woman Ivan impregnated for the sake of a male heir. She was his wife firstly, the love of his life actually." Grimmy frowns down at the bench as he speaks and I'm not sure how to react or reply to his confession. Though I have a suspicion this is not all Grimmy has to say.
"Ivan did not have her sent away like you were told growing up. The truth is, your mother Larissa was killed when you were three. Before then she had helped raise you, along with Ivan." Grim looks over at me and I stare back at him, digesting this information.
My mother is dead? She's been dead all this time and not hiding away on some remote island with my sisters? My parents were married? What? What the fuck?
"Uh-" I can't even get the words out. I have so many questions, so much confusion and a bubbling anger about being lied to my entire life. And why Grimmy has chosen now to finally tell me all this? What the fucking is going on?
"I know it's a shock but we thought it was best you know the truth." Curby speaks during my silence.
"We?" I utter harshly. Curby knew this too?! What the actual fuck?
He just nods and I turn back to Grimmy.
"Where are my sisters then? If my mother is dead where are my sisters?"
"For a long time your parents struggled to conceive. Larissa had four miscarriages all past eighteen weeks. All four confirmed were girls. Their fifth child, a girl died from a cot death at just a few months old. You do have a sister though, Mya the sixth girl. She must be nearly thirty by now. Your mother sent her to live with her sister in Mykonos as things were becoming quite hostile with the gang at the time, it was no place for a wee girl to be around. Your father refused to send you away though, as much as your mother pleaded he wanted you here with him. Larissa was murdered not long after that." Grim turns his attention to the crystal glass tapping at it and Curby tops him up obediently.
I don't know what to think of all of this or how to react. I'm pissed this was kept from me my entire life, that I was lead to believe my father went through life not having anyone to love. Not being close to people other than his gang. But he had my mum, who he tried so many times to start a family with, he had friends like Lilianna's father that he trusted. He was not alone and was not weak for the relationships he had built.
"How did my mother die?" I ask Grim. He concentrates on the brown liquor, as he assess how to answer my question.
"She was shot, asleep in her bed. You were in your crib next to her." He reveals and although I don't remember any of this my chest tightens.
"By who?"
Grim glances at me before taking the glass and downing the double shot. He sets it back down, fingers gliding over the carved ridges in the crystal.
"We all had our suspicions. But no one knew for sure. Back then it was a punishable crime to harm any members wife, punishable by death so we were all shocked that someone would harm not only a wife but Ivan's. In fact that's why a lot of members had got married back in the day, it was a binding contract that meant no one - even from rival gangs could touch the women. They were protected and to be left out of any punishments." He doesn't give me a suspect but for some reason I too have someone in mind. Someone who is not bothered by the idea of killing women or children for that matter. Someone who would have no conscious killing a sleeping mother next to her child.
Victor.
Grimmy doesn't have to say it for me to know. The glance he gave me was enough. It's written on his face, said with his silence and my fists ball. I somehow know it to be true. I know Victor killed my mother. But why? His own sister in law.
"Why? Why did he do it?" I ask next.
"The same reason he stops you building those same relationships. He thought Larissa made your father weak. We all knew of Victor's jealousy over their relationship. Some even said Victor himself was in love with your mother, but I could never be sure of that. The idea of Victor loving anything doesn't seem possible to me. There were many rumours that went around, some even insinuating that your infant sister did not die of a usual cot death..." Grimmy breaks off mid sentence, not wanting to say out loud the horrendous accusation he's insinuating.
"Ivan was in denial. He didn't want to think Victor capable of such a thing and all rumours were put to bed at your fathers request."
"And what of Lilianna's parents? Where do they fit into all of this?" I ask him.
"Jacob Costello was your fathers best friend since they were far younger than you are now. He was a great friend to your father up until the months leading up to your fathers death." Grimmy frowns.
"Victor said Jacob was married to a cop? That they had plotted against him to take him and the gang down?" I really shouldn't be surprised if Victor was lying.
"Yes." Grimmy nods.
"Evangelina Costello was a cop." Grimmy confirms.
"She was actually a detective." Curby clarifies and Grim nods again.
"She was a smart women and very beautiful. Lord knows what she saw in Jacob but the pair were surprisingly a good match." Grimmy contemplates thoughtfully.
"But how could my father let that happen? How could he be okay with his best friend and right hand man being with a detective. Surely he must have known how dangerous that was." I shake my head confused.
"Because Eva was a plant." Curby leans against the marble island, resting onto his elbows.
"What?"
"She worked as the inside connection for the gangs." Curby explains and I'm in shock.
"And long before she even met Jacob too. She was working as a double agent for Sergey when Jacob met her. It took little persuasion for Ivan to welcome her into the gang. She was excellent at her job and proved herself more than helpful many times. Many of us would be rotting in jail if it weren't for her, myself included." Grim says.
"And yet they killed my father." I remind Grimmy, interrupting his praises of the dirty cop. Lilianna's mother.
"Yes." He frowns to himself.
"It was a shock to all of us." Curby adds.
"You said before my father and Jacob hadn't been getting along for months before he was killed. Do you know why?" I ask them both. Curby shakes his head and Grimmy shrugs.
"I had heard that both Jacob and Evangelina wanted out. They had their little girl and I suppose wanted a different path for her." Grimmy says and once again I'm reminded of the irony it is that Lilianna and myself found each other despite so many peoples efforts to keep her away from this life.
I'm not sure what to say to any of this. It is all a lot to digest and I have mixed emotions about every lie and deceit that has been kept from me my entire life. But at the same time I am also grateful for this closure. At least now I have some answers to questions about my life, my parents and what happened in the past when I was too young to understand.
My mother is dead, so is my father. But I have a sister. In Greece? And an aunt that raised her? The confirmation that I have family other than Victor is oddly comforting. But the revelations about both Victor and Lilianna's parents deceits are disturbing. Victor could possibly be my mother's murderer, he also killed Lilianna's parents. I know that for certain. But he killed them out of revenge for my father.
My head is swimming, and I can't help but see that through out all of this Lilianna and myself have been nothing but innocent children caught in the crossfire. The only difference is I have grown up knowing some of the evils of it all, and she has been protected by all of it. I had thought telling her about her past and who her parents were would be a good idea. But perhaps it's best she doesn't know. Perhaps I can save her the challenging emotional turmoil that is ripping through me right now. I don't let it show to either Grimmy or Curby as I sit here on my stool. Keeping perfectly still, forcing an even breath and trying to muddle through all this new information to figure out what the fuck my next move is.
After both Curby and Grim have shared another drink silently, letting me think to myself I abruptly stand up causing both of them to look at me.
"I... I don't know how I'm going to do it but I know I have to. Before things continue to get out of hand." I admit out loud and they both look at me confused.
"Do what Sev?" Curby asks the obvious.
"Stop Victor."
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