Natasha grabbed her phone from the nightstand to hit that alarm button. She hated using her phone for it, but she could hardly take her alarm clock with her to Russia. Her eyes traveled down to the brunette woman clinging onto her chest, who didn't make a move to open her eyes.
Her stomach dropped.
Softly, she brushed her fingers through her hair and whispered her name, but Katya made an annoyed noise and furrowed her brows. And not in a cute way. Her grip on Natasha disappeared when she curled into a ball, turning her back.
Suppressing a sigh, Natasha kissed her shoulder and got out of bed. No use to pull on her and tug her out. These reactions weren't voluntary, and Katya's mood would only get worse if she didn't leave her alone.
So, she took a long shower, got dressed - stealing one of Katya's sweaters - and crouched by her head afterwards, surprised to see that her blue eyes were opened. They weren't as distant as they sometimes were, only a bit glossy while she was lost in her head. But Natasha was glad to see that she hadn't retreated into her zombie state.
''I don't think I can make it this morning,'' Katya croaked out, her voice full of guilt and sadness.
Brushing her brown hair back with her fingers, Natasha offered a gentle smile. ''That's okay. I can take Maya to the palace myself.''
''I'm sorry,'' she whispered.
''No, don't be.'' Natasha shook her head, watching as Katya's eyes closed on their own. Her heart clenched, but she took solace in the fact that Katya appeared to be doing relatively okay and was able to talk and look at her. ''Are you gonna be okay while we're gone?''
''I'm just gonna sleep,'' Katya assured softly, halfway there. The blankets were pulled up to her chin, slightly shivering.
Natasha smiled at her cuteness. ''That sounds like a good idea. Need me to order you anything from room service before I go?''
'''M good.''
''Okay. We'll be back around one. Call me if you need me.'' She pressed her lips to her forehead, lingering to whisper, ''I love you.''
The corners of Katya's mouth twitched. ''I love you too.''
Checking to make sure Katya's phone had enough battery and was on sound, Natasha closed the bedroom door softly behind her. Her feelings were conflicted. On one hand, she hurt because Katya hurt - which was not a surprise after yesterday - but maybe the biggest part of her was relieved that the pit wasn't as deep as it normally was. It told her that the therapy worked, that there was progress.
Slowly but surely. Nice and steady.
Quietly, she woke Maya, who asked where her other mom was once she joined the breakfast table. Natasha had to give her a shake of her head. ''It's just gonna be the two of us this morning.'' Maya simply nodded, dropping her gaze to her plate.
The two of them ate their breakfast mostly in comfortable silence. Natasha had ordered Katya a smoothie, placing it in the mini fridge for now and leaving a note on the table saying it was there. In case Katya wanted it later.
''Where are we going today?'' Maya asked mid-breakfast.
''A gorgeous palace,'' Natasha promised, pulling out the map and pointing to a certain spot on it. ''With amazing golden statues and fountains.'' It was best they tried to make the most of a shitty situation and - no matter how cruel it sounded - tried to forget about Katya.
They left around nine, taking the spare key with them and locking the door. Kids were good at adapting quickly, and soon, Maya's happy chatter took over Natasha's brain as they walked through the city, clenching their teeth together at the ice-cold wind.
Katya fell asleep the first hour, started tossing and turning later on, and decided to give up at eleven, reaching for her phone to check for texts. But there were none. There never were.
Her brain was exhausted, her body was tired. But otherwise, she felt relatively okay. The leftover traces of anxiety from yesterday just needed to leave her body. But nothing that happened at Melina's farm truly bothered her.
She smiled at the picture on her lock screen. Natasha's Halloween picture had made way for the Avengers group picture they took at Christmas. All her friends were on there, barely fitting in the frame. Wanda on a chair in front because her feet were swollen. Taking it was chaos.
On a whim, the brunette decided to call her friend, putting the phone on speaker and cuddling back into the covers. She listened to the rhythmic beeping as Wanda's phone rang on the other side of the ocean. The huge time difference had completely slipped her mind until Wanda picked up with an insanely sleepy voice.
''Katya? Is something wrong? It's four AM.''
Her eyes widened and she pulled her arm from under the covers to reach for the phone. ''Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I'll call back later.'' A wave of loneliness washed over her, realizing all her friends were asleep and she couldn't call anyone. Yeah, they'd pick up, but she didn't want them to.
''No! No. You already have me awake now,'' Wanda teased lightly. Another voice joined hers. Vision, probably, asking who broke up their sleep. ''It's Katya. I don't care, I'm not moving. You go somewhere else if you want to sleep.''
Katya smiled at her confident and sharp words, staring at the phone next to her on the bed. ''That's kinda harsh, Wands.''
''Hormones,'' was her excuse, brushing the comment off.
''Hm,'' Katya said skeptically, their chuckles dying out. A short silence followed, but it wasn't uncomfortable. They were both in their happy zones, safe zones, cuddled under blankets in the dark.
''Any particular reason you're calling?''
Katya's smile fell now that the fun stuff had faded away. Her fingers fiddled with a loose thread at the end of the expensive covers. ''No. You were the first person I thought of.'' That was true. But why exactly had she called? To hear another voice? To feel less lonely?
''You wouldn't be calling me without a reason, Kat. What's going on?'' Wanda pushed softly.
''Nothing I want to talk about. I want to know about you. Your kids come out yet?'' She shifted the focus away from her. Now she knew why she called. A distraction.
Wanda's babies were supposed to be born two weeks ago, but they were too comfortable in her stomach to want to come out yet. Katya couldn't blame them. But if they weren't born next week, the doctors would artificially start the birthing process.
Honestly, Katya just hoped it wasn't going to happen during this trip. She wanted to be there. Not in the actual room, but in the waiting room, excited to hold the babies once they were born.
And finally learn their goddamn names.
''I wish. I feel like an elephant. My back constantly hurts, I can't even sit down to pee anymore, my feet don't fit into shoes, and I am so tired. Pregnancy sucks.''
A quiet chuckle shook Katya's body. ''I don't think the first few weeks are gonna be any better.'' No breaks, constant baby crying, baby feeding, baby changing. God, she didn't know if she could have handled that herself. Maybe it was better that Maya was so independent when they got her.
''If this is your way of making me feel better, it sucks.'' Wanda pointed out to Katya's amusement. ''How's Russia?''
Katya dropped her eyes to her fiddling hands. ''Surprisingly okay. Nat's out with Maya right now, visiting some palace. I needed the sleep.'' In fact, she felt a lot better already. Sleep was like a reset button for a human body.
"So you're hanging in there? I'm glad."
"Yeah. Maya loves it here.'' At the thought of her little girl, the corners of her lips curled up and her eyes started to sparkle. ''She's so excited all the time. Everything amazes her. It's so cute. She's so cute."
"That's adorable. I'm glad she came into your life," Wanda said genuinely. She was such a good friend, and Katya couldn't believe she neglected her lately. Not entirely her fault, but still.
"Me too, Wands. Me too." A silence fell once more. Not uncomfortable though. They could sit there in silence quite a long time, saying nothing but knowing the other was there. But, she had woken Wanda at four AM. "I should really let you sleep. I just wanted to hear your voice and make sure your kids were still in there."
"Oh don't worry, they don't wanna come out yet. And if they do, you're the first person I will call," she lightly joked.
"That calms me down," Katya chuckled, making no moves to end the call yet, and Wanda let her think. "Have you ever had a massage?"
"Are we talking sexual massage or a normal one?"
Instinctively, Katya's nose scrunched up in disgust. "Jesus, Wanda! A normal one, of course." she cringed, shivering as Wanda laughed. "Ew, you gave me images no one wants of their best friend."
"Oh, please. Not like I haven't heard you and Nat going at it. Even those soundproof walls have cracks in them." The blood drained from Katya's face, her disgust replaced by embarrassment. How much did she hear? They did not hold back in soundproof rooms. "But to answer your question, I have. It's nice. You should get the hot stone one."
"Thank you and thanks for the embarrassment!'' Katya rambled in fake joy, scrambling to end the call. ''Bye!"
"Bye, Kat. Enjoy your holiday," Wanda laughed.
Katya hit the red button and tossed her phone away, the blush on her cheeks slowly fading. The silence rung in her ears, a wave of loneliness falling over her again. That was some bullshit. Why was she feeling lonely now? Everyone was only one call away, and she didn't even crave a hug or something.
Grumbling at her own feelings, she rolled out of bed. Almost literally, but it would take too much effort to lift herself off the ground if she did. Her grumble echoed in the apartment, faint sounds from both outside the hotel and inside reaching her ears.
Tiredly, she reached for some jeans and a hoodie, scrambling for the room key and phone after getting dressed. Smiling at the note on the table, she drank half the smoothie before leaving Natasha a note in return in case she came back earlier.
"At the spa."
If she couldn't sleep, getting pampered instead sounded amazing.
Her feet were heavy, head full of sleep, but she managed to get to the spa area, demand a full treatment, and blindly let the employees command her around. She didn't care what they started with, how expensive it was, or even how long it took. She deserved this. She needed this.
During every treatment, she managed to fall asleep. A bit embarrassing maybe, but the employees didn't care. It felt so good, the hot oils on her back, thumbs pressing into her tense muscles, the smells, the gentle music.
Her mind forgot about her family, about Wanda, about yesterday, about anxiety. The guilt and sadness sweat out of her body during the hot stone massage, her body light and on a high.
She had never done this before, but with a drowsy smile on her lips, she got back to the hotel room. Spa day was a complete success.
With her jeans still on, her body fell face-first on top of the bed, once again falling into a deep slumber. She woke an hour later, fingers brushing through her hair and a soft voice muttering in her ear.
"Honey."
Katya blinked her eyes open, looked straight into Natasha's smiling ones, and then closed them again. The button of her jeans dug into her stomach and a cold shiver ran down her spine, but otherwise, she felt too comfortable to move. Her whole body was on cloud nine, paralyzed.
Natasha chuckled quietly at her reaction, relief falling over her. "Hey, we're back. How was the spa?"
"'Mazing," Katya slurred, a relaxed smile curling on her lips.
"Great. How're you feeling now?" Her fingers kept combing through Katya's hair. Katya who seemed to be doing so much better than this morning. Three or four months ago, she would have needed days to recover. Now, only a morning of sleep. Progress. Slowly.
"Bit tired," Katya admitted, curling more into herself, tugging her knees towards her chin. Maybe tired wasn't the right word. She felt slow. Her body felt slow.
Natasha melted at her cuteness, her expression softening even more, if that was possible. "And your head?"
"Fine." She opened one eye. "I'm hungry."
A chuckle left Natasha's lips. "We are, too. Let's get lunch downstairs." She helped Katya to her feet, smiling happily when she threw her arms around her neck for a long hug while her body woke up. "You smell amazing," Natasha muttered, digging her nose further into her skin.
Katya smiled into her neck, squeezing her body gently. "Massage oil." Kissing Natasha's cheek while pulling back, she smothered a yawn and trailed into the living room. Maya sat at the dinner table, her back turned. Feeling like a joke, Katya snuck up on her and covered her eyes. "Guess who."
The girl jumped a bit, but smiled brightly once she realized who it was. "The Easter Bunny?"
"What?" Katya laughed loudly, pulling her hands away. "My voice is what you imagine the Easter Bunny to sound like?" She sat down next to her, putting her feet up on the seat of Maya's chair.
"I don't know, Mom," Maya giggled, the sound warming all their hearts. Natasha watched the interaction from a small distance, hands on her hips and an adoring smile on her face.
"Oh, so now you know who I am?" Katya teased, an eyebrow cocked.
Maya giggled again, shoving the digital camera her way. So that's what she had been looking at. "Look at the pictures we took of the palace. It was so pretty." Her eyes twinkled. So whatever they saw, must have been really pretty. Surprisingly, Katya didn't feel guilty for missing it. They saw so many beautiful buildings on Sunday already.
"You know what won't be pretty?" Natasha butted in, snatching the camera away. "Kat's mood if we don't feed her soon." Her tone was teasing, and a smirk played on her lips.
"That... is very true," Katya agreed, drawing chuckles from the others. "So, let's go." She did get very hangry if she didn't eat enough. Regular meals were also very important for her recovery. Three full meals a day. So with the light breakfast, she'd order a heavy lunch.
After pulling her shoes on, she didn't wait for the others and stalked into the hallway, her stomach controlling her actions. But rapid footsteps rushed after her. "Mom!" Maya caught up, slipping her hand into Katya's. "Were you too tired this morning?" she asked softly.
"Yes. I may or may not have fallen asleep in the middle of a massage.'' Katya sheepishly smiled, squeezing her hand lovingly. ''Sorry I missed the palace."
"Don't worry. You're here now." Maya assured, beaming up at her. God, this girl was amazing. She knew exactly what to say to make her feel better. A talent she got from her other mom.
"Yes, I am. I wanna hear the stories though."
"Well, in that case...'' Maya started, which is how Katya knew the good stuff was coming. Stuff that Natasha wasn't supposed to hear apparently, with the way the girl glanced over her shoulder. ''Mama pushed a man who didn't want to move from the doorway."
A loud laugh echoed through the carpeted hallway. "Oh, Natalia. I can't leave you alone for one second." Katya shook her head in amusement, imagining exactly how she had shoved that man out the way, pissed.
"You snitch,'' they heard behind them, Maya giggling. ''I told you not to tell her."
Katya's eyebrows raised. "So you two are keeping secrets from me now? What else happened that I am not supposed to know?" she smirked, glancing over her shoulder to see Natasha's annoyed expression, keeping her mouth tightly shut. "Maya?" she tried, looking down at her.
"No, don't," Natasha warned, though Maya's smug smile only widened and Katya's interest piqued. So more did happen. It was a bluff.
"She pushed-"
"No!" Maya's words got cut off when Natasha dove forward and covered her mouth with her hand, drawing more giggles from the little redhead. But even through her hand, Katya heard two words that allowed her to piece it together.
"Woman. Fountain."
A loud gasp left her lips as she stopped dead in her tracks. Everyone behind door 411 could hear their conversation clearly. "Natalia! You pushed a woman in a fountain?! Oh, for Christ-"
"I didn't! I- I just stumbled and accidentally fell into someone, so their bag fell into the water," she defended herself, her eyes wide with innocence as she let a grinning Maya go. The girl knew exactly what she had done and enjoyed throwing her mom under the bus.
Katya glanced at Maya, who subtly shook her head, signaling that that's not what happened. But to be quite honest, did she want to know?
With a sure look on her face and a twinkle in her eye, she told Natasha, "You're on kiss probation. Until tomorrow morning."
Instantly, Natasha's face dropped.
"What?! That's not fair! I didn't do anything!"
"Mhm," Katya hummed skeptically, pushing her smirk down and turning away from her. "So, Maya, what's for lunch today?"
Natasha spent the entire lunch making cute faces, trying to guilt-trip Katya into lifting that probation rule. But every time their eyes met, and she put on those puppy dog eyes, Katya simply smiled and looked away, choosing to have conversations with Maya instead.
"Who is ready to go shopping?" She clapped her hands enthusiastically as they walked back from the restaurant, Maya beside her. Lunch was gone, her stomach insanely full, and her mood perfect. Honestly, she felt happy. "I'm looking for a non-lying partner. What do you think, Maya? Can I find someone like that today?"
"Fine!'' Natasha finally broke. ''I pushed her on purpose."
"Ha!'' Katya spun on her heels, raising her finger in the air. ''I knew it. I knew it." Call it either a gut feeling, or years of experience reading into lies.
"She was trash talking in Spanish. About us. So I took the opportunity that I saw," she defended her actions. Typical Natasha, her overprotectiveness making her do stupid things. It was cute, but wrong. "So, am I off probation now?" she asked hopefully, peering up at her wife. But Katya shook her head.
"Absolutely not. You've only made it worse for yourself. No cuddles until tomorrow morning either." When Natasha opened her mouth, Katya raised her finger higher, reprimanding her. "Ah, no protests or I'll make it twenty-four hours."
Disappointment flooded her features. "Fine," she grumbled.
With a satisfied smile, Katya turned back into the direction they were originally going, glancing down at her daughter. ''So now, I'm looking for a pillow for Nat to cuddle with instead. You think I can find that?"
"Like a body pillow? I've heard of those. I'm sure you can find that," Maya nodded, leading the way back to their hotel room to change and gather necessities.
"You're torturing me here,'' Natasha whined to Katya, her expression pained. ''A body pillow when I have you lying next to me? You are my body pillow.''
Katya chuckled lowly, pressing the button for the elevator. "Why don't we let Maya decide?" The girl perked up at the mention of her name, displaying pure interest as she balanced on her toes cutely. "Do you think Nat deserves cuddles after what she did?"
"No," she immediately answered, savagely, to Katya's great amusement. Poor, poor Natasha. She looked like she was gonna crumble in desperation at this team up. "But you do."
Katya hummed, stepping into the small anxiety-triggering metal box. ''You're right. But a hug is hard to have one-sided. So how we gonna fix that?''
''You cuddle with me instead?'' She suggested with a twinkle in her eyes, containing her joy by rolling her weight from her toes to her heels and back. Apparently, everyone wanted hugs from Katya today. And she wasn't going to protest, because she had already missed out on time with her daughter this morning.
A wide smile grew on her lips as she nodded. ''I like that idea.'' The elevator pinged and she pushed past an agonized Natasha, who appeared to be in great despair.
''Kat,'' she whined, once again trailing after her.
''Yes, my dear?''
Yeah, what exactly was she gonna say? Pouting didn't work, and neither did getting mad, definitely not in the cocky state of mind Katya was in now. So, she slumped her shoulders and shook her head. ''Never mind.''
But Katya wasn't a cruel bitch. She held her stride until Natasha caught up and intertwined their fingers. Immediately, the redhead perked up, her mood turned around by this smallest piece of affection.
''That's all you get for now,'' Katya whispered, to which Natasha nodded with a happy smile. Anything was better than getting ignored. Even if she deserved it and didn't mind getting teased.
After bundling up, they set sail for the shopping center. It was their last day in Saint Petersburg. Tomorrow, they'd take the train to Moscow. Driving the car there took eight hours. The direct train only four. They knew which one they'd pick.
''Okay, so what are we on the hunt for? Some new jeans for you, maybe an extra bathing suit, some summer clothes, a summer jacket...'' Katya trailed off, trying to think of what else Maya needed for the coming spring and summer time, with their holiday in the back of her mind.
''Shoes,'' Natasha added, strolling next to them with her hands in her pockets. She wasn't the biggest fan of shopping but didn't hate it either. Or rather, she didn't hate shopping for others. Buying nice things for Katya and Maya was one of her favorite things to do. But her own clothes, she wasn't too picky on. Just buy dark-colored, plain sweaters and shirts and that was it.
Katya snapped her finger. ''Oh, right! Shoes.'' Last summer's shoes didn't fit Maya anymore. They squeezed her toes.
''I want All Stars.'' Maya perked up, though her cheeks grew pink once she realized how that sounded. ''I mean, can I get All Stars?'' she asked politely, and Katya's answer made her eyes shine.
''Sure. Those are summer appropriate.''
''You need a summer dress,'' the girl nudged her.
Katya furrowed her brows, glancing at her wife, who had started to smile too. ''I do?''
''Yes.'' Maya nodded heavily. ''You look pretty in dresses, but you never wear them.''
''Alright.'' She shrugged. Maya wasn't wrong. ''Guess it can't hurt to buy a dress.'' She swore Natasha celebrated, looking forward to seeing her wife in a flowy, summer dress that made her look like the princess she was to her. Sometimes, Katya needed a break from the tough, leather-jacket spy vibes.
Slowly, store after store, they made their way through the shopping mall and continued in the shopping street outside. Katya much preferred the mall, where the icy wind didn't blow past her collar and down her neck, but it wasn't bad if she ran from door to door fast enough, making the others laugh.
They ended up collecting more stuff than they came for, of course. Her favorite part was absolutely Natasha trying on bikinis, finally choosing one with color so it looked more summer holiday themed.
Though she was also really happy with the yellow floral dress her family picked for her, buying brown heeled strappy sandals with them. Maya got her jeans, along with some shorts and tank tops.
When they stepped out of a huge warehouse after an unsuccessful look around, Natasha stopped her. ''Open your hand.''
''What? Why?'' Katya frowned, wrapping her scarf tighter around her neck. Natasha's face was unreadable, blank, really. It was a bit concerning. Especially since she had been quiet the whole afternoon. Katya couldn't pinpoint what was bothering her.
''Just do it,'' she pressed softly. So Katya did, her eyes widening when Natasha slowly lowered the small silver chain necklace into her palm. It had one of those wooden Russian dolls that are placed within each other - a Matryoshka doll - on the very end. So dainty that Katya had to squint to make out the details. It was covered in tiny diamonds and about the size of her fingernail.
''Nat... This is gorgeous,'' she breathed, a wide smile on her lips. She swore her entire body immediately heated up with pure gratitude and love, forgetting all about the real temperature. ''Thank you.''
With a light blush on her cheeks, Natasha glanced at her shoes and back. ''I know you said you don't belong here anymore, but I thought you should at least have a reminder of where you came from,'' she explained. Of course, she had thought about this. Her gifts were always thoughtful.
Katya let out a disbelieving breath, closing her hand and throwing her arms around Natasha's neck to pull her into a tight hug. Hands landed on her waist, tugging her closer. ''You need to stop being so good to me. I can't keep up,'' she complained, slightly pulling back when Natasha started to chuckle, narrowing her eyes. ''Why are you smiling like that?''
''You hugged me,'' she smirked smugly, digging her fingertips into her waist to keep her there, the shopping bags in her hand hitting Katya's thigh.
''Oh, fuck,'' Katya muttered, wide-eyed, remembering her no-hugging rule. How was she supposed to punish Natasha when she broke the rules herself? But still, she shrugged, making no move to break away. ''Oh, well.''
With soft eyes, she stared into Natasha's, playing with the baby hairs on the back of her neck. Her wife had a relaxed smile on her lips, but Katya could sense the tension in her body and mind. Something was bothering her, and she'd find out what that was the first opportunity she would get.
''I feel left out,'' Maya suddenly whined, wanting to push her small body in between them and join the group hug. But Katya removed a hand from Natasha's neck and teasingly pushed her backwards, to which she giggled loudly.
''Too bad.'' Katya smirked, though she did let her wife go after a squeeze of her neck, slipping the necklace around her own. ''Let's move. You still haven't found the shoes.'' She pushed her own shopping bags into Natasha's arms and then scooped up her daughter, swinging her onto her back like she weighed nothing. Damn, she loved these new muscles of hers.
A loud squeal escaped Maya's lips, people looking their way as she clung onto Katya's back. ''I can walk!''
''I know. But this way you can see over the crowd and spot the shoe stores,'' Katya clarified, continuing their journey down the street. Natasha walked next to her, smiling and shaking her head in amusement. That hug had done a lot of good.
''I can't. You're too small.''
Katya gasped loudly as Natasha laughed. ''The audacity...'' She put Maya down, gripped her waist and lifted her onto her shoulders instead. A move that was met with another squeal. ''How about now?'' She smiled proudly, tightly holding onto the girl's knees so she didn't fall backwards. Though Maya was scared and instinctively gripped the only thing she could reach: Katya's head. ''Ow, you're tugging my hair, you evil child. This isn't Ratatouille.''
''Sorry.'' Maya giggled, loosening her grip. This seat was amazing, though. She could look over the heads of everyone, seeing the very far end of the street. ''Remind me, what is the Russian word for 'shoe'? Oh wait, never mind, that store has a board in the form of a shoe. Go.'' She kicked Katya's ribs like a horse, which earned her a playful slap to her shin.
''How did I get degraded to pack mule?'' Natasha complained, the plastic and paper handles of the shopping bags digging into her palms and wrists. Good thing she had torture training.
''Because you're the strongest?'' Katya smirked teasingly.
She sent her a dry look in return. ''That's one hundred percent you.''
''Agreed.'' She chuckled, though the sound got cut off when pain shot through her head. ''Maya, what did I tell you?! No tugging my hair!'' She reached up with one hand to pull her brown strands from the girl's hands.
''Sorry.'' She giggled. ''But you missed the store.'' Katya stopped and turned around to look, indeed spotting the shoe sign they had walked straight past.
''Could have just told me,'' she grumbled, earning more chuckles as she stalked towards the store. The warmth of the blower in the doorway had already hit her when Maya yelled out.
''Mom! The doorway!'' She had needed to duck rapidly, basically hugging Katya's head to avoid getting smacked in the face with the top of the doorframe.
''Whoops.'' The brunette smiled sheepishly, lowering Maya to her feet as Natasha laughed once more. That sound being absolute music to her ears. Katya took half the shopping bags from her. Sharing everything evenly; a promise she made when marrying her.
''There. The pink ones.'' Maya pointed to the bubblegum pink shoes along the left wall. All Stars, like she wanted. And the way she pointed them out, made them believe that she had done her research beforehand.
''Pink? They don't really go with every outfit.'' Katya bit her lip in hesitation, trying to think of outfits it went with. Pink clashed with so many colors. White would be better. Or black.
''Buy the girl her pink shoes,'' Natasha chuckled.
Katya sighed but gave in. ''Go ask the employee to get your size for you. Do you know how to ask that?'' Maya shook her head, so she repeated the question to her a couple times in Russian until she nodded that she had it.
Shyly shuffling to the blonde man closest to them, Maya asked him to get the pink shoes, pride swelling in Katya's chest. Her brave little girl.
Happily, her confidence bumped up a notch, Maya sat down on the bench, carefully pulling the shoes out of the box and putting them on. Katya helped her with the laces to speed up the process.
Until Natasha joined them, holding up another pair of Converse, white with pink hearts and a pink sole.
''Maya, what about these?''
''I love those!'' She gasped, making grabby hands. Natasha chuckled and handed them over, letting Maya study them with heart eyes. Her shoulders dropped once she realized she was in a dilemma. ''Now I can't choose.''
''Who said anything about choosing?'' Natasha smirked, but Katya shook her head.
''Nat, no. She'll be grown out of those next year.''
''So we buy them a size too big. They're limited edition, so they won't be here next year,'' Natasha argued smugly. ''Technically, she'll still have only one pair to wear this year.''
Katya sighed. Always finding a loophole, that wife of hers. ''You're undermining my parenting moment,'' she complained, to which Natasha chuckled.
''Hello? I'm right here.'' Maya waved her hands around, drawing their attention to her. She giggled at their startled and slightly embarrassed faces. ''I'll just take the pink ones.''
''Thank you!'' Katya exclaimed exasperated, sending a smug look Natasha's way, who rolled her eyes.
They did a couple more stores, their feet hurting, and Katya convinced she had turned into an icicle. But they still hadn't found a nice summer jacket for Maya. So they pushed through.
At least, until Katya's famous gut feeling told her that something was wrong. And one look at her wife, standing frozen in front of a rack of clothes, was enough.
Natasha's panic attacks were silent, quiet, unnoticeable. Not how they were always described, not as violent as Katya had them. They rarely happened. Maybe once every six months in calm periods, when life was okay. Anyone seeing her would think she had simply zoned out, but Katya saw the signs.
She'd detach from reality, retreat into her own head. Everything that happened seemed invisible. Her heart racing, dizziness, lump in her throat, trembling hands. She got very jumpy, which meant to proceed with caution.
"Nat?" Too late, she jumped, her dazed eyes snapping in Katya's direction. "You wanna go sit down somewhere?" Without a word, she nodded, so Katya led her outside, sitting her down on a bench with Maya on her other side. She gave the girl her phone to busy herself with, to provide any sort of distraction.
It was hard to figure out exactly what to do with these, how to help. Katya had asked before, what she would like her to do, and Natasha said that her being there and holding her hand was enough. So that's what Katya did, pressing her thumb into her wrist subtly to measure her heartrate. It was erratic.
Softly, she started to hum. So silent that she wondered if the people walking past could even hear. Next to her, Natasha worked hard to get back to reality, to push through that haze that muffled and distorted reality, using Katya's grip and voice as an anchor.
The humming worked soothingly, together with the deep breaths she took to calm her heart. These things rarely lasted longer than a minute of five. The sounds around her would get back to normal, and she'd be able to look up from her lap without getting dizzy.
"I kinda lost you there.'' Katya's voice fully broke her out of her head, and Natasha slightly turned to look into the most gentle blue eyes ever, a thumb running over the back of her hand soothingly. ''You doing alright now?"
"Yeah.'' Natasha sheepishly smiled, still trying to gain her senses. ''Sorry about that."
"Never apologize.'' Katya shook her head, squeezing her hand. ''Is there a reason this happened?" There didn't have to be, but maybe she would open up as to what was bothering her today.
But Natasha shrugged and dropped her gaze to their interlocked hands. She looked lost. "I think this is all just a lot for me, too. Being back here. It caught up to me."
"Understandable. Maybe we should call it a day and get back. You nauseous?"
Natasha's heart completely melted. Of course, Katya had remembered that these attacks could make her nauseous. "No." With interest, she watched her pull the backpack onto her lap and take out the pastry saved from lunch.
"Here. For the dizziness and energy." She offered with a smile. Natasha couldn't with this woman. She was perfect.
"You sure?'' She hesitated. Looking between the pastry and her wife. ''You've been looking forward to eating that the entire day."
But Katya nodded assuredly, pushing it more towards her. "Yes. You need it more."
Hesitantly, Natasha accepted. Katya gave her a chance to slowly eat it and recover in silence by turning to Maya and watching whatever video played on her phone. More specifically, a Netflix episode of her latest anime. The funny part? She understood the Japanese without needing the English subtitles.
Eventually, Natasha crumpled up the plastic bag her food came in and stood to toss it into the bin. ''Let's go back.'' The other two nodded, gathering their stuff and starting the walk back to the hotel. Everyone was freezing cold, to the bone, and so exhausted that they barely had energy to eat dinner later.
Maya seemed to sense that Natasha needed a distraction and rambled a whole summary about the anime she just watched while carrying a couple lighter shopping bags herself. If she noticed that her mom's answers were dull and her questions minimal, she didn't show. But the longer they talked, the more Katya saw Natasha relax and pull herself out of her head.
Distractions worked, simple as that.
Drained and exhausted, they decided to skip the fancy restaurants tonight and order room service instead. While eating, they went through the stuff they bought. They usually had a strict 'dinner time is for dinner only' rule, where phones or other distractions weren't welcome at the table, but it was holiday.
Maya absolutely adored her All Stars, and wore them until she fell asleep on Natasha's lap on the couch. That's when they had to pull them off her before putting her to bed. Poor girl was so exhausted that she didn't wake up while they swapped her jeans for pajamas and tucked her under the blankets, snuggling her stuffed animal in her hands, only to smile when she subconsciously hugged it closer.
After cleaning up a bit and shutting off the lights, they decided to call it a night too. Tomorrow was only a travel day, but that could turn stressful real fast. Besides, Katya was sure the soles of her feet were on fire. She could hardly walk.
After brushing her teeth, she changed into her warm pajamas by the bed, glancing at Natasha from the corner of her eye. The redhead ran her cleansing wipes over her face, staring at herself in the mirror a bit too intense to be casual.
A sad, inaudible sigh left Katya's lips. She took cold feet for granted and tiptoed back into the bathroom, wrapping her arms around Natasha's waist and placing her chin on her shoulder.
''Hey, love. What's going on? You've been off all afternoon.'' Their eyes met in the mirror as Natasha tossed the wipe in the trash, but she didn't answer. ''Talk to me?'' Katya pleaded in the cutest voice ever, pouting adorably, which managed to grow a ghost of a smile onto Natasha's lips. Katya knew she was her weak spot.
''It's nothing, Kat. Don't worry about it.''
''But I do. You're sad. Tell me why,'' she pressed softly. Natasha always helped her so well, and she really wanted to return the favor. ''Is it something I said or did?'' If so, she'd curse herself endlessly.
''No. No, it's not you,'' Natasha rushed to reassure, placing her palms on the counter and slightly hanging her head. ''It's stupid,'' she muttered.
Katya shook her head and kissed her shoulder. ''It's never stupid if it makes you feel this way.''
Natasha sighed deeply after finding nothing but honesty and truth in her blue eyes, and spun around in her arms, staring down at her own fiddling hands. ''I guess I had my hopes up too high yesterday.''
Katya's heart soared in happiness when she finally admitted what bothered her, though it crashed down at the sad look in her eyes, despite her nonchalant facade. ''You were disappointed?'' she asked softly, her thumbs rubbing up and down Natasha's clothed waist. The thought of her being disappointed by what happened yesterday ached.
''And I know it wasn't awful in any way,'' Natasha continued, discarding Katya's question. ''I know Melina was great with her, and Alexei at least tried to apologize, but that tension, that awkwardness... I don't know. I guess I hoped it would feel more natural, or like there was a stronger connection,'' she admitted towards her feet.
Katya swore she heard her heart shatter, squeezing Natasha's waist in comfort. ''Honey, that's not weird. These people were your parent figures, of course you wished there'd be a stronger connection. But you can't force that. Maybe it just needs time. This is only the second time you've seen them since.'' Closely, she studied her reaction. Or, as best she could with Natasha's face turned down.
''You're right.'' Natasha finally looked up, giving a weak smile. ''Yeah, maybe I expected too much.''
Removing one hand from her waist, Katya placed it on the side of her neck instead. ''It's never wrong to hope. But sadly, disappointment is the result this time. Doesn't mean you should give up on it all together. People learn and grow, so they can, too. I'm just proud of you for giving them a chance, and for seeing them again. That couldn't have been easy.'' She smiled softly.
''Yeah. I guess in the future, I can give it another shot.'' Newfound hope carefully started to shine in her eyes. What a couple words of reassurance could do. ''Thanks, honey.''
''You're welcome. I think it went pretty okay. No physical fights, no really loud yelling, no storming off, nothing truly hurtful being said.'' Katya shrugged, moving her hand to the back of Natasha's neck and toying with the baby hairs there. ''I call that definite progress from last time.''
''Maybe it is,'' Natasha admitted, smiling lovingly. ''Thank you for listening.'' Finally, she reached out and pulled Katya closer by her waist. No reason to fiddle restlessly anymore.
A bright smile curled on Katya's lips. ''Always. This is a two-way street, so come find me if there's something on your mind too. It's good for me to busy myself with problems not my own for once,'' she joked.
Natasha laughed and pulled her into a warm hug, softly swaying them left to right while she hummed in content. Katya's body melted into hers, the warmth seeping through her skin until it settled into her very bones. A hug from Natasha could fix everything. Though right now, she suspected it was the other way around.
''Another hug,'' Natasha teased lightly.
''Don't care.'' Katya sighed deeply and buried her body further into Natasha's, despite that being impossible. It sent the redhead stumbling backwards into the sink and drew a beautiful laugh from her lips. But Katya only dug her face into her neck more. ''Was I too much today? Did I go too far with the joking? Is that also why you were sad?'' She whispered.
Immediately, Natasha pulled back, taking her face in her hands delicately. Katya couldn't do anything but stare into her eyes, the warmth from her palms spreading through her cheeks. ''No. It was a pain, but I definitely deserved it. I let my overprotectiveness get ahold of me again," she joked lightly. But when Katya didn't join, she dropped it. ''It was funny, Kat. Promise I'll tell you if you take it too far.''
''Okay." She gave in. She had learned to trust her words. Though that had taken a while to settle into her system.
Natasha squinted warily when a twinkling smile grew on Katya's lips. ''What?''
''You're such a sucker for my attention,'' she smirked, thinking back to how she whined and complained when the 'no hugs, no kisses' rule was implemented.
Natasha's face dropped, though she admitted shamelessly, ''I would have begged on my knees for a hug.''
With a shake of her head, Katya pulled her in for a kiss. ''You're adorable,'' she muttered against her lips. Natasha rolled her eyes but happily kissed her again as they slowly made out, humming into each other's mouths.
There was still tension in the back of Natasha's brain, something going on. But Katya hoped that would fade after a good night's sleep, because her wife didn't feel like talking anymore.
She tried to ignore the cold at her feet as long she could to enjoy this moment, but eventually, she started to hop around. ''Are you done in here?'' she whispered, to which Natasha nodded, to her great relief. ''Bedtime then. I'm cold.''
A laugh left Natasha's lips as she let her drag her to the bed, slamming the light switch in the process. ''Of course, you are.'' She chuckled once more when Katya pushed her onto the bed before walking around to her own side, brows furrowed adorably. Very demanding.
Katya turned around and then shifted backwards until she collided with Natasha's chest. Being the little spoon was the best thing ever. Though she loved having all of Natasha in her arms when it was the other way around, protecting her entire world.
''Kat!'' Natasha shrieked, stiffening when the brunette pushed her frozen feet against her shins. Her bare shins.
''I'm cold,'' was Katya's soft excuse as she snuggled further into the blankets like a little kid, shivering. If Natasha didn't have ice blocks pressed against her right now, she'd have melted at her cuteness.
''I know. But please, your feet are freezing.''
''I'm cold.''
With an amused sigh, Natasha got out of bed and rummaged through her suitcase. Katya opened one eye to see her walk into the bathroom with a hot water bottle, pulling a smile from her.
Not two minutes later, Natasha slipped under the covers again and placed the warm rubber on Katya's feet. Warmth shot up her legs, an extremely satisfied sigh escaping her as her muscles relaxed.
''Better?'' She mocked slightly, though wrapping Katya in her arms like before.
''Amazing," Katya muttered with a content smile on her features, halfway gone to sleep already. So Natasha didn't think she realized when she said, "Love you forever.''
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A/N: another extra chapter! I'm on a roll lately. Hope you enjoyed this and see you on Monday!