June 2016
CAN YOU MISS SOMEONE THAT YOU NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO KNOW?
Sirius's death feels like a grandiose cataclysm; wherever she looks, Maya sees the wreckage his demise has left around them. None of her friends can look her in the eye anymore; not after what happened in the Department of Mysteries. Hogwarts seems to have been silenced by the wave of grief that overcomes everyone around her.
They all cope in different ways - Harry lashes out, Diana goes temporarily mute, Ron constantly plays quidditch, Hermione hasn't picked up a single book in ages. It's as though parts of them have died with him, buried in some long-forgotten corner of the local Hogsmeade cemetery.
She wasn't that attached to him — not like Harry, to whom Sirius Black was a second father or Arya, her monumental first love that evolved into her ride-or-die best friend. Maya barely even knew him beyond the secret fire meetings and letters that Harry spoke of, and even then, their interactions were very little. But there was something about him that made her feel comfortable . . . seen . . . safe enough to let her guard down in his presence.
Something Maya's only ever felt with one person before.
Facing Draco Malfoy after she's put his father in Azkaban with her friends is no easy feat; the dark circles under his eyes taunt her of what she's done to his family — what she's taken from them. She's tried to give him some space, but as they board the train back home two weeks back later, something in her feels empty.
'The food trolley's just stopped if you lot want anything . . .' Luna says dreamily, snapping Maya out of her daze.
'Not really that hungry, thanks, ' Maya replies, voice smaller than she likes. Church is happily curled up in her arms, purring and snuggling into her as she scratches behind his ears. After her mother, he's probably the person that holds the deepest place in her heart. She places a tender kiss on the top of his head and settles back against the window, watching the English countryside rush past.
Diana snorts, startling Maya. She's barely said a word in the aftermath, keeping her head down and eyes cast away in the wake of her family being shattered. It's not that she's been avoiding Maya the entire time (after all, they did fight against the Death Eaters together), she's just been absent from her social life in general (and for a very understandable reason). The bright pink is fading from her hair, but reflected in her cheeks as she giggles, pulling away from Luna trying to tickle her into submission, 'For God's sake, Lovegood! Stop it!'
'What?' Luna feigns innocence, shrugging her slender shoulders, 'I was just checking to see whether you had any flitterblooms hidden in your clothes!'
'Yeah, sure' Diana scoffs, leaning her head on the latter's shoulder, 'Like I would ever attract those bloody things, '
'You can't blame me for being worried, ' replies the Hufflepuff, a hint of grin gracing her thin mouth, 'They only gravitate towards those with a beautiful aura, '
Diana turns the reddest Maya's ever seen her, 'Oh shut up!'
'Hey,' says Ron softly, nodding towards the glass window on to the corridor. Maya looks around. Cho is passing, accompanied by Marietta Edgecombe, who's wearing a balaclava. She meets Harry's eyes with an unreadable expression before walking away, hurriedly dragging Marietta along with her.
'I — er — heard she's going out with someone else now,' says Hermione tentatively.
'You're well out of it, mate,' says Ron forcefully. 'I mean, she's quite good-looking and all that, but you want someone a bit more cheerful.'
'She's probably cheerful enough with someone else,' says Harry, shrugging. He doesn't look hurt at all — more like relieved.
'Who's she with now, anyway?' Ron asks Hermione, but it is Ginny who answers. 'Michael Corner,'
'Michael — but — ' says Ron, craning around in his seat to state at her. 'But you were going out with him!'
'Not anymore,' says Ginny resolutely. 'He didn't like Gryffindor beating Ravenclaw at Quidditch, and got really sulky, so I ditched him and he ran off to comfort Cho instead.' She scratches her nose absently with the end of her quill, turns The Quibbler upside-down and begins marking her answers.
'Good riddance, ' mutters Maya, ruefully, 'Always thought he was a jerk, anyway'
Ron looks highly delighted. ' Just choose someone — better — next time, ' He casts Harry an oddly furtive look as he said it. Maya rolls her eyes at them both.
'Well, I've chosen Dean Thomas, would you say he's better?' asks Ginny vaguely.
'WHAT?' shouts Ron, upending the chessboard that he and Harry are currently playing on: Church yowls and jumps off of Maya's lap, running after the stray pieces and Hedwig and Pigwidgeon twitter and hoot angrily from overhead. Maya snickers at his look of utter shock.
As the train slows down in the approach to King's Cross, Maya's stomach squeezes in anticipation. They're going to be leaving for New York right after Nandini gets on the platform. Maya's going to be incredibly busy with all the work and research needed for her internship at the Institute (they sent in the acceptance letter two days ago) and she'll have no time to portal to London (if Magnus would even let her, since Nandini will be away for seven months on a mission in Rio). She can't owl Draco; her neighborhood is pet-free and the Institute never has any free birds.
If she wants to make things right, she has to do it now.
'Maya, you coming?' Ron calls from the door; She pauses with her satchel on her shoulder, 'I see your mum on the platform'
'Tell her I'll be a bit late, ' she replies, curtly, fiddling with the tassels hanging from her bag, 'I have some unfinished business to take care of, '
Here goes absolutely nothing.
The Slytherin compartments are at the very back of the train. Maya doesn't know how she manages to get there unnoticed, but it's no easy feat; she stands out like a sore thumb from the robe-clad Slytherins, the few that manage to catch a glimpse of her quickly scurrying out of her way.
Draco sits alone, shutters drawn; in fact, Maya doesn't even know he's in there until he reluctantly slides the door open, shocked as he sees her in the doorway. She sucks in a breath as his silver-grey eyes meet hers, the dark circles beneath making the guilt inside her rise.
'Can we talk?' Maya questions, her heart hammering in her chest with foreboding, 'I promise — this won't take long. Just a few minutes, '
'O-okay, ' he stammers, gesturing for her to come inside. Draco looks beyond bewildered to see her there, shoving the door closed behind him. He runs a hand through his already-unkempt hair, 'What's wrong?'
'I'm so sorry, ' Maya blurts out, sooner than she had intended, 'I didn't mean to let it go this far, '
'For what?' He questions; now Draco looks genuinely confused, 'Maya, are you alright? You're very pale''
'When he saw that Diana was with us — your father, I mean — he freaked out ' Maya stammers, an overwhelming amount of emotions, 'He absolutely flipped —he only reason it didn't escalate was because the prophecies broke and we had to run . Then my aunts came running in and Sirius got into a fight with him; your dad was knocked unconscious and everything went by so fast. I'm so sorry — I wasn't thinking — when the Aurors asked for names he was the first that came to mind and it just slipped out — '
'Maya, if you think I'm blaming you for my father ending up in Azkaban, you're extremely off the mark, ' The tone of his voice is stern.
Maya pauses halfway through her rambling to stare at him with wide eyes, 'What?'
Draco takes a deep breath, it's clear to her that this isn't something he wants to say out loud, 'It wasn't your fault; I can't blame you for something you couldn't control. Besides — , ' he clears his throat, awkwardly looking away, ' — it's not like I never saw it coming, '
'I'm sorry — '
'Stop apologizing, ' Draco immediately flinches at his own harsh tone, 'I'm sorry — I just — I don't want to talk about this right now, '
'That's okay', Maya tentatively takes his hand; to her surprise, he accepts it gratefully, pulling her into a hug.
Draco sighs into her hair, wrapping his arms around her waist in a way that sends butterflies straight through her abdomen. She smiles into his chest, leaning into him just as much as he is to her.
'When I said I wouldn't let you go, I meant it, ' Maya replies, softly, breaking apart to look into his eyes, 'And that includes the way I care about you. If you ever need someone to help you deal with this stuff. . . I'm right here, Draco. All you have to do is let me in, '
The corner of his mouth quirks up as he brushes a strand of hair out of her eyes, trailing his thumb across her cheekbone, 'I'll keep that in mind, '
Draco kisses her before she expects it; Maya laughs and wraps her arms around his neck, holding steady. The taste of him on her lips is beautifully bittersweet — something you know you shouldn't want, but yearn for in every way.
He makes her feel safe. Not in the way that a parent protects their child, or a dog stands guard by their owner. Draco sees the parts of herself beneath the all-powerful mask — all the core aspects of who she is, good or bad. It makes her feel deliciously vulnerable — maybe a little too transparent for her own good — but Maya can't help but trust him, even after everything that's happened between them
And as she pulls away from him, a few starlit moments later, Maya realizes — that although they may seem completely different on paper —the thought of them together feels right in a way she never expected it would.
'I'm going to miss you like hell, Rajesh, ' he mutters, sadly, as Maya reluctantly steps back, feeling her mother's angry glare from the platform (even though Nandini can't even see what she's up to). She takes out her pen from a pocket inside her bag and scribbles some numbers onto a stray piece of paper, folding it up and handing it to him as fast as she can.
'That's my phone number, ' she replies, seeing his confused expression, 'I can't promise I'll pick up one-hundred-percent of the time, but if you're ever feeling like you need your ego taken down a peg . . . you know how to find me, '
'Don't go looking for trouble, yeah?' he quips, dryly, but Maya can feel the seriousness in his tone as Draco places a kiss on the top of her head that makes her want to melt into a puddle of girl-jello, 'The last thing I'd want is for you to lose your life chasing after some monster or the other, '
'The only monster I'll be chased by is my mother at seven in the morning, ' Maya snorts, as he chuckles, 'Speaking of which, I have to go. I can feel her glaring at me from the platform, '
She kisses him briefly before turning to leave; Draco sighs and lets her go, his fingertips tantalizingly brushing against hers before saying, 'See you next year, then, '
Maya blushes, clearing her throat and standing tall to mask her composure, 'See you too, I guess, '
One thing's for sure; this summer's bound to be interesting when she gets back home.
aaannnd act two is a wrap!! honestly so excited for what i have planned next, we're finally delving into the part where things truly turn upside down. the shadow world is a duplicitious place and y'all will find that out very soon lol. anyways, it's past midnight and i have a busy weekend ahead of me, so see you all whenever i next decide to update!
- xoxo, disha