Natasha let out a loud squeal, jumping in the air in surprise. ''Kat, don't do that!'' Katya had placed her freezing cold hands on her bare ass. Well, not entirely bare. She did wear a bikini that was slightly more family-friendly than some of the others in her wardrobe, but that woman knew she had an amazing behind and did not scare away from showing it off.
Katya absolutely loved it.
Slowly, she slid her hands from her ass to her hips and stomach, rubbing her abs before hugging her from behind instead. ''Why are you fixing your hair? It's gonna get wet anyway,'' she smiled, peppering kisses along her shoulders and neck. Natasha stood in front of the mirror, untangling the knots with her fingers, when Katya snuck up behind her.
''I'm hoping to distract people with my hair, so they don't notice the fucking hickeys you put on me.'' She replied, slightly annoyed.
Katya grinned, resting her chin on her shoulder as she studied Natasha's stomach. There was one around her belly button, two on her thighs, one half hidden under her bikini top, and one under her ear, but they were dark ones. ''I'm sorry to disappoint you, but they're very noticeable.''
A loud sigh left Natasha's lips as she dropped her hands, giving up on her hair. ''Be honest. Do I look slutty?'' Her bottom lip disappeared between her teeth, insecurely studying her own body.
''Honest?'' Katya repeated, to which Natasha hesitantly nodded. ''Kinda, yes. That one on your inner thigh seals the deal.'' Her very inner thigh, close to the seam of her black bikini bottoms. The least noticeable one, but it was obvious that the person who put it there - Katya - had also put her mouth in much more unholy places.
''I'm so mad at you right now.'' Natasha jokingly pushed her off and wrapped a bathrobe around herself, tying the band into a tight knot. It couldn't help but show off her cleavage though.
Katya followed her to the bedroom, her own bikini beneath her sweatpants and t-shirt. ''To my defense, we hadn't established that we were going swimming. Not one hundred percent certainty.''
Natasha quirked an eyebrow while she gathered some swimming essentials in her arms. ''Would you have been able to stop yourself from putting hickeys all over me, even if you did know?''
''Probably not, no,'' Katya grinned apologetically. ''But I would have put them in places covered by fabric.'' When Natasha wanted to push past her, Katya stepped in front of her and grabbed her hips. ''Darling, trust me when I say that those people will be blinded by your beauty too much to even notice those hickeys.''
Natasha shifted the stuff in her arms around, narrowing her eyes. ''Keep going.''
An amused smile danced on Katya's lips, but she forced it away. ''First of all, that.'' She flickered her eyes down to the exposed top of her breasts, causing Natasha to look down at herself. ''Huge distraction. Ass, also huge distraction. Muscles, hair that every woman is jealous of, the way you move so elegantly and confidently.'' She stopped, hoping that was enough, but Natasha's eyes only narrowed more.
''Not there yet.''
''By far the most stunning, mind-blowing, breathtaking person to ever dip their toes in that pool," Katya finished dramatically, a smile on her face. The suspension killed her, Natasha's eyes jumping all over her face to make sure she meant it, to make sure she learned her lesson.
''I forgive you," she said eventually, though she was quick to shut Katya's grin down. "If you kiss me like you mean it."
Finally, Katya allowed her victorious grin to break through, bringing her lips closer to Natasha's and whispering, "I always mean it."
With the force she pressed their lips together, Natasha almost dropped the stuff in her arms, a gasp echoing deep in her throat. After overcoming the initial surprise, she kissed back with the same conviction, opening her mouth when Katya wished to slip her tongue in. Fingers dug into her hips, pulling her impossibly closer as Natasha's free hand snaked to the back of her neck.
They both hoped Maya wouldn't suddenly materialize beside them. No child wanted to see their parents with their tongues down each other's throats.
Reluctantly, Katya was the one to pull back, leaning her forehead against Natasha's as they panted quietly, lips tingling. "All jokes aside though, I hope you're not insecure of your body today. Because it's beautiful. You're beautiful," she muttered, gazing deep into her vulnerable green eyes.
''I'm not,'' Natasha reassured, feeling her cheeks heat up. She never knew how to handle these compliments that came straight from the bottom of Katya's heart.
''Okay, good,'' Katya whispered, prolonging this moment by just staring into each other's eyes. ''Because it's strong, and soft, and mine and Maya's favorite place to cuddle up to.'' With a soft smile, she pulled back and lovingly covered Natasha up more with the robe. When she twisted on her heels and went to walk out, a gentle and vulnerable voice stopped her.
''Kat?'' Natasha uneasily fiddled with the tag of the towel in her hands when Katya turned back. ''Thank you. You're too good for me.'' Truth was, she had been feeling insecure. But not anymore. Not after those reassurances. Katya could always make her feel so much better with so little words.
With big steps, Katya closed the distance between them, took the items from her arms, put them down on the bed, and engulfed her in the warmest, most protecting hug possible. ''My princess,'' she whispered, pressing kisses onto her head. This woman deserved to feel like the fucking amazing person she was. And it broke her heart to see her so insecure.
Natasha let out a deep breath, relaxing her entire body, slumping against Katya's strong one when her eyes started to water. ''I love you.'' Her voice muffled by Katya's shirt and tight of tears, she said it anyway.
''I love you too,'' Katya muttered into her hair, holding her as tight as possible. ''Sometimes it hurts how much.''
''Me too.'' She sniffed, burying her face into Katya's shoulder and gripping her shirt tightly. She wasn't sure why she even cried. Probably an overload of emotions, or the tension of this trip needing a way out of her system.
But Katya didn't really care why. She simply closed her eyes and whispered soothing things as her fingertips dragged up and down her back. This country did things with them neither understood.
"Mama? Why are you crying? Are you okay?"
Neither had heard Maya stop in the doorway. With an unsure and worried frown on her face, she clung onto the doorframe to partly hide her body, studying both their demeanors to try and figure out what was going on.
Slowly and reluctantly, Natasha let Katya go, giving her daughter a watery smile while using her sleeve to wipe her tears away. ''Yeah, baby, I'm okay. Do you have all your stuff?'' Maya nodded slowly. ''Then go wait by the door, please. We'll be right there.''
Her answer didn't entirely convince the girl, but she knew they didn't lie to her. So, after an ''Okay,'' she disappeared out of sight, her footsteps fading away.
Quickly, Natasha brushed her final tears away and gathered her stuff in her arms once more. ''Let's go.'' Her feet slid into some hotel-provided slippers, showing off her bright red toenails which she painted while being bored one night.
''You sure?'' Katya asked, quickly snatching a towel from the bathroom and her book from the nightstand. Natasha's emotional moment made her think maybe something more was going on, but it appeared all was okay after a good cry.
''Yeah.'' Her famous smirk grew on her lips, though carefully. ''I have some people to make jealous with this body.''
Katya chuckled, trailing after her and into the living room. ''That's what I like to hear.''
Their smiles relieved Maya, who waited patiently by the front door. Her bathing suit was also underneath some sweatpants and a shirt. They hadn't exactly brought a summer dress to temporarily cover it up.
The girl preferred bathing suits over a bikini, saying she didn't want to tug her top into the right position all the time while playing in the water. If anything, her clothes had to be comfortable before looking good. In this adorable pastel yellow one with ruffles, she was the cutest girl in this building by far.
The smell of chlorine greeted them from down the hall. It had taken almost ten minutes to even reach the pool, since it was both on the ground level, as well as on the other side of the building. Katya knew that as soon as the rich ass people in that pool would see Maya enter, they'd be so pissed. Which was hilarious.
Before they reached the double doors leading into the pool area, Katya stopped by some other doors, the ones reading 'sauna', amongst other things. ''This is me. Don't have too much fun without me. I'll see you later.''
''Don't sweat out all your humor,'' Natasha teased. She appeared to be back to her usual self, and that possibly made Katya happier and warmer on the inside than a sauna could ever do.
''That's impossible,'' Katya grinned, placing her hand on the push door. ''There's too much of it.''
She came into some sort of spa area, the smell of lavender hitting her in the face after stepping through the doors. The floors were wooden, the decorations and furniture all of natural products like wood and cane, the walls an off-white color to make it all feel calming.
She hated it.
Taking her shoes off and placing them in a cabinet, slipping into the provided slippers, she was greeted by an overly smiley and extremely kind employee. The blonde woman asked what she wanted today, to which Katya bluntly answered, ''Fifteen minutes in the sauna.''
After asking if she was alone, which felt strangely offending, the woman led her to an empty sauna room which felt big enough for four people but would be hers only today. Katya needed no explanation how to work it, but still the blonde told her, leaving her alone after some short answers.
With a sigh, she took her clothes off and hung them in the tiny private dressing room right outside of the actual sauna and locked the door. It always felt weird to be naked in a room like this, but nobody would be able to come in. And as soon as she settled down on her towel, cramped up the steam and heat, and closed her eyes, that worry faded away.
Soon, the drops of sweat trickled down her temples and arms, her hair drenched. It got hard to breathe, and the thought of having a panic attack flashed through her head, but only briefly. She let all her stress and anxiety sweat out of her body, clean her pores and soul. How could her body ever have been cold, with how hot it felt now?
The whole experience felt so good that she had a relaxed smile on her face all during her shower and the trip towards the pool afterwards, almost forgetting her shoes by the door because of the trance she was in.
When she stepped into the pool, the first thing she noticed was how quiet it was. It was both not busy - it was dinner time, after all - and there were no kids besides one adorable one who was in the middle of a race across the pool with her mom. Natasha clearly held in on her strokes, a huge smile on her face as she planned on letting Maya believe it was a tight race until the last second.
Katya let them be for now and looked for the extremely comfortable looking lounge chairs Natasha had claimed, spotting their stuff in a far-away corner. Careful not to slip - that would be a very embarrassed injury - she treaded over there and dumped her stuff next to theirs, settling on one of the three chairs.
The sauna made her sleepy, and the whole day had worn her out, so she had the full intention to follow up on that nap. In her bikini, she lay flat on her back and closed her eyes, listening to the chatter of her family. They must have noticed her by now, but chose to let her be, which gave her the chance to fall asleep.
She must have turned to her side mid-sleep, because the voices that woke her up came from behind her. ''Hey!'' Natasha exclaimed in a whisper. ''You can't pick out the nice pieces and leave the other ones for me.''
''But the other ones have too many seeds,'' Maya countered just as quietly, clearly complaining about something, some kind of food they must have ordered. This pool had... chair service? Servants walked around, and guests only had to wave their hand in the air to attract their attention.
''Oh, right. What if a watermelon plant starts to grow in your stomach. Right there.'' She must have playfully started to poke Maya's stomach, tickling her in the process, because the girl started to giggle, a wonderful sound to wake up to.
''Mama, stop. Stop.''
Natasha laughed quietly, but according to Maya's giggles quieting down, she had stopped messing with her. ''Shh, you'll wake Kat.'' Katya's heart warmed at her thoughtfulness, knowing her wife needed the sleep.
''Too late.'' Her groggy voice shut them up and drew their attention to her, although Katya was anything but pissed. Because the sight she was met with when she turned to her back, was adorable. Natasha and Maya side to side on one lounge chair, cross-legged, with a small bowl of watermelon chunks in their hands.
Water dripped down their hair and bodies onto the tiles, creating small puddles underneath the chair. Their eyes were wide-awake though relaxed and extremely content, munching on their light and healthy pre-dinner snack.
''Saving nothing for me?'' Katya teased, her eyes twinkling as she ignored her aching body. This chair was not made for napping in awkward positions.
''Hi, querida (honey). How was the sauna and the nap?'' Natasha smiled. She had to admit, this game of coming up with nicknames non-English or Russian was fun.
''I feel reborn.'' With a groan, Katya pushed her upper body up a bit, setting the lounge chair into a sitting position. ''I am, however, extremely dehydrated. Where's that waiter of yours?''
With a chuckle, Natasha waved the young man over. ''What do you want?''
''A mocktail of sorts? Anything with red fruit or something.''
With a nod, Natasha started to ramble to the guy in Russian, asking what they had and if they could add more water to make it more hydrating, to which he nodded eagerly.
Katya crossed her ankles and watched her daughter try to eat around the seeds in her watermelon pieces. It was very amusing. ''So, did you win the race?''
Surprised, Maya snapped her head up, cheeks heating up now that she got caught being a picky eater. ''You saw that?''
''Mhm,'' Katya smirked. ''You forget that my nickname in SHIELD was 'the Ghost'. I move quietly and invisibly.''
''Mama made me think I was winning and then shot past me.'' She rolled her eyes, either offended or annoyed. One glance at Natasha's smug face told Katya enough. She had indeed done that.
''That's not very nice,'' Katya agreed, pushing her still-wet hair behind her ears. She swore Natasha's eyes flickered to her abs when she lifted her arms to her head. It's not like she could blame her. They had gotten very prominent over the last couple weeks.
''Do you want to race me?'' Maya interrupted their moment.
The smile that sat plastered on Katya's lips faltered, and from the corner of her eye, Natasha's did the same. ''I don't swim,'' she spoke softly. So badly, she wanted to jump into the water and race her daughter to the other side of the pool, but she wasn't ready. She didn't think she'd ever be ready to jump into a basin of water like this again.
Maya's face paled, her gaze falling to the bowl of food in her hands. ''Oh right, I forgot.'' The teasing and happy mood had dropped because of her question, but Katya hoped she didn't feel bad. These things should be able to be discussed without avoidance.
''That's okay,'' Katya smiled. ''I can sit along the edge and watch. It's fine.'' The servant came back with her mocktail in a beautiful glass, a straw sticking out. On the edge sat a strawberry, and she didn't have to ask to know that he made her a Sangria, minus the alcohol part. It was ice cold, sending shivers down her spine while she drank. Luckily, the indoor pool was extremely humid and hot.
Abruptly, Maya put her bowl on the small table between the chairs. ''I'm gonna jump off the diving board,'' she announced, getting back on her feet. Was she running from the awkward tension? Probably.
''You go do that, honey,'' Natasha chuckled, following her with her eyes all the way around the pool to said diving board. But when she turned back to Katya, her shoulders slumped in an exasperated manner, because those blue eyes weren't fixed on her face, but on her chest. ''My eyes are up here.''
''Oh, I know,'' Katya muttered, but she made no move to drag her eyes up, sucking on her straw. Getting that black bikini wet meant that it melted against her skin, which accentuated certain accessories. ''I do not regret suggesting those things. At all.''
Natasha rolled her sparkling eyes and reached over to slap her thigh. Pretty hard, if Katya may say so. ''Perv.''
''Think I'm gonna dip my toes in there.'' Katya chuckled, placing her drink down. With Natasha's eyes trained on her, she hoisted herself off the lounge bed, her entire body drowsy, and sunk down on the edge of the pool. As long as the water stayed below her knees and she sat safely on the edge, everything was fine. Now let's hope none of the guests would think it was funny to push her in.
She waved to Maya and heard some shuffling behind her, until a pair of lips muttered into her ear, ''I don't know if you know this, but you have a hickey on your ass.'' Natasha chuckled lowly when Katya turned bright red and twisted her upper body to try and get a good look at her butt. However, it appeared she couldn't see it without embarrassing herself right there.
Gently, Natasha lowered herself into the pool, folding her arms on the edge right next to Katya, leaning her chin on them and looking up through her eyelashes innocently. The tips of her bright hair floated around her shoulders, her toned shoulders. This picture made Katya wish she could get in with her, spin her around, and press her against the tiles, their half-naked bodies intertwining.
''The look you're giving me isn't exactly public-appropriate,'' Natasha mused, the corner of her mouth curling up. Immediately, Katya's face flushed once more, every snarky remark leaving her mind at once. ''I'll go, before I tempt you into doing something illegal. Literally.'' Slowly, she disappeared under water, swimming across the pool in one single breath, scaring the shit out of Maya, who hadn't seen someone swim up on her underneath the surface.
Slowly, Katya shook her head, questioning what she did to deserve a woman like that. It was probably best not to let herself drift off in those self-doubts too much. So instead, she watched Natasha interact with Maya, challenging her to make the biggest splash while jumping off the diving board. Neither the other guests nor the employees appeared too happy with that decision, but nobody dared to stop her.
They managed to rope Katya into their competition too, asking her to rate the size of the splash because she was an objective onlooker. From the other side of the pool, she stuck the number of fingers in the air she thought the splash was worth. Because Natasha was simply taller and heavier than Maya, her splashes were naturally bigger. Although Katya made sure to rate some of Maya's a nine.
''Dinner time?'' she asked when they came back, still laughing at their own theatrics.
Natasha hummed, gathering their stuff to move towards the showers. ''What are we feeling like having?'' Not that anyone cared. They were too hungry to care.
''Chinese?'' Maya suggested, to which the others shrugged and nodded.
''Chinese, it is.''
After a shower and a change of clothes, they wandered into the restaurant at half past seven. Like the Russian restaurant from last night, this one was entirely decorated in an Asian style. Was it stereotype? Probably. But it looked cozy, and the food smelled amazing. Katya barely had any patience to pick and chose the first thing she thought looked good.
With their food also came fortune cookies. Luckily, they were in English. Broken English, but that only made it funnier. Maya was the first to crack hers open, squinting to read the small words on the paper inside.
''You have a secret admirer.''
''Oh, Maya, who is it?'' Katya teased while the girl turned bright red and told them to shut up, talking about crushes and love way too awkward for her. This time, they decided to indulge her and not tease her for their own entertainment.
Natasha was next, cracking her cookie open with a bit of effort. ''Everything that is, was first a dream.'' Her eyebrows shot up, staring at the words. ''These are weirdly accurate.'' Having a family and a house and a kid of her own was a dream, but it now was reality.
''Mom, what's on yours?'' Maya turned to Katya, who found herself being the last to break open the cookie.
''Change comes with embracing the future, not fighting your past,'' she read slowly, her voice faltering towards the end. Like Natasha's, her eyebrows shot up as well. ''Damn, that's confronting. I will always remember this as the day I was attacked by a fortune cookie.''
Dinner was awesome. It tasted as good as it smelled - which was amazing. And as promised, they took Maya to minigolf afterwards. Katya was surprised to find that she wasn't as tired as she thought she would be. Sure, her body had fallen into that post-swimming slowness, even though she hadn't actually been swimming, but her mind was awfully clear and bright.
''This is not fair! That's your fourth hole-in-one!'' Maya exclaimed.
This hotel's minigolf track was glow in the dark themed, with the tracks glowing neon and the room quite dark otherwise. The white shirt Natasha wore, glowed green because of the lights. Maya was absolutely fascinated by it all, though she had quickly lost herself in the game.
''Shouldn't have dared two spies with perfect aim to a game of minigolf,'' Natasha smirked, fishing her bright pink ball out of the hole in the ground. She wasn't joking with that perfect aim. They both had scored hole in ones at all the first four tracks. Given, they gradually got more difficult, and a bit of luck also played parts, so Katya wondered how long that streak would continue, but still.
''So you're saying that this is my own fault?'' Maya frowned angrily, writing a 1 behind track four, under the 'N' for Natasha.
''Exactly.''
Katya chuckled at their bantering, sauntering to the fifth track and placing her ball down. After determining her course of action, she swung her stick. She wasn't sure what happened, maybe her ego had grown too much and made her cocky, but her neon green ball flashed right past the hole, ending a mere couple inches away from it.
Her shoulders slumped, knowing she was now one behind in this bet she made with her wife. A hundred dollars for the winner.
Natasha sucked air through her teeth. ''That's bad luck, baby.''
''Don't,'' Katya warned her over her shoulder, throwing her a look. She knew exactly what Natasha was doing, feigning pity. Her competitiveness was much bigger than that.
''Don't what?'' She smiled sweetly. Maybe she can fool others with that innocent pout, but not her own wife. And Katya didn't want it. She wanted a battle without any side games.
''Don't play that game with me.''
Her low chuckle only annoyed Katya further. ''Alright, I won't.''
At the second try, Katya's ball did fall into the hole, but the damage was done when Natasha shot a hole-in-one again. Clint would be proud of her, but Katya knew she was one point behind that she had to make up somewhere else.
It was time for some distraction. So next time Natasha bent over to put her ball down, Katya smacked her ass. It was extra funny because she hated when she did that, and immediately whipped her head around with a fierce glare.
Okay, so maybe Katya did want a battle with side games. But it was only fair if she returned the favor, right?
''Oh, so now you like games,'' Natasha said sarcastically while Maya giggled at their usual bantering. Katya grinned and shrugged, but her breath hitched when the end of a stick was placed on her sternum. Slowly, Natasha pushed her backwards with it, out of range, to make sure she didn't slap her ass again. ''Stay away.''
''But not too far?'' Katya finished what she thought was the beginning of a flirty comment. But Natasha gave her an unamused look, so her grin fell. Why did she have to be so mean?
As expected, Natasha shot another hole-in-one, her pink ball rolling through the loop in one simple swing. How she did this, Katya didn't know. Nobody knew. She was Natasha, that was an explanation of its own.
With a cocky smirk, she turned to her wife. ''One.''
Annoyed, Katya rolled her eyes. But it was Maya who truly had her laughing. The girl had gotten hold of the score sheet, appointed game master, writing the scores down fairly. But let's be honest, she was the referee, to make sure neither of the women cheated and their bet was fair.
Maya nodded and brought the pencil to the paper to write Natasha's score down, muttering precisely loud enough, ''Two.'' Her green eyes sparkled with mischief, so Katya knew she did this on purpose.
A loud laugh escaped the brunette's throat when Natasha whipped around, offended. Her mouth slightly open in shock, she stared at her daughter, asking herself if she really just did that. ''Don't write that down. One. I said one.'' Maya only giggled, theatrically perfecting the '2' she wrote. Natasha's eyes narrowed dangerously. ''Oh, you little– Give that to me. Give it.''
But Maya quickly turned and started to walk away, a huge smile on her lips. ''Come and get it.'' She shrieked when Natasha tossed her stick on the ground and actually started to chase her. They ran laps around track five, bantering with each other, while Katya clutched her stomach, laughing.
After a good minute of indulging her daughter's fun, Natasha leaped across the track - which the guests weren't supposed to walk on - and swooped her up in her arms. ''Got you.''
Maya started to trash, hugging the score sheet to her chest tightly. Or, as tightly as she could while laughing her ass off. With her weakened grip, Natasha could easily rip the sheet out of her hands before putting her down. That's when Maya gave up the fight, staring up at her with a defeated pout.
''You're supposed to be objective, yet you're siding with my opponent. Mean,'' Natasha accused her while she changed the '2' into a one, shaking her head in feigned disappointment. ''Kat, what did you do? Slip her a twenty?''
Pained, Katya's jaw dropped. ''It hurts that you think so little of me.'' She pushed past her to walk to the start of the track, putting her ball down. ''I gave her fifty.''
A loud gasp tumbled out of Maya's mouth, not happy to be thrown under the bus. ''Mom, you didn't! Don't lie!''
''I'm sorry. You're right. I shouldn't lie.'' She lowered the end of her stick to the ground, getting ready to swing. ''I gave you a hundred.'' Right when Maya gasped again, she shot, watching the ball roll into the hole. With a smirk, she turned around. ''And that's one. Write that down please.''
After that, it went alright for a while. Maya obviously didn't compete with them, needing around five or six tries at every track to get the ball into the hole. But she never complained. No, she was fully enjoying this night. How she didn't fall over with exhaustion, was a miracle.
Katya and Natasha loved helping her when she needed, slightly twisting the stick in her hand if she had the angle wrong or telling her to hit softer. Though Maya was more invested in their bet than scoring well herself.
At track fourteen, with four left to go, Natasha seemingly had enough of playing fair. Katya hadn't noticed at first, too focused on making sure she got the right angle to hit her ball with. It needed to go underneath a tiny bridge, and it was a tight fit, so she focused.
Focused too much, it appeared, because when she shot, very proud of the angle and getting it underneath the bridge, her ball hit an obstacle where there shouldn't be one.
It was Natasha. She had put the end of her stick behind the opening on the other side. The ball hit it, and rolled back towards Katya's feet, stopping against her shoe. If she hadn't done that, it would have rolled straight through.
''Oh my go– Nat! That's so mean!'' With big steps, she stalked over and pushed a laughing Natasha away before she did more damage. ''I demand a fresh start.''
''Okay, okay, you can get it,'' she chuckled, enjoying Katya's hurt scowl.
Natasha did end up winning, by one point, although she let Katya keep those hundred dollars. It wasn't about the money; it was about the fun. And fun, they had for sure. Maya had fun, needing a reminder to be quiet while walking back to their room.
Katya needed to blink heavily once they stepped out of the semi-dark minigolf room and into the light of the hallways. By now, it was around half past nine, though she felt so ready for bed. Tomorrow would be a very difficult day, and when that knowledge settled in, the anxiety fell down on her like a brick.
Somehow, she had managed to avoid thinking about tomorrow. About Alexei and Melina. Somehow, she had been able to walk through today's schedule without feeling nauseous, but after she put Maya to bed, she needed to take deep breaths to stop the jitters in her body.
Natasha sat on the incredibly soft couch in the living area, one knee to her chest with her phone in her hands. It appeared she was texting some people, but they got discarded when Katya approached. Her green eyes followed her wife closely as she rounded the couch and settled down next to her. In the way she moved so slowly, and the slight furrow of her brows, Natasha knew exactly what was going on.
''Do you feel up for a talk?'' Katya asked softly, tugging her knees to her chest and playing with the seams at the bottom of her jeans. She appeared so vulnerable and insecure that Natasha could never have possibly said no.
''Yes.'' She tried to give a reassuring smile, but left Katya in her zone, sitting next to each other without touching. She was so happy she came to her instead of acting like everything was fine.
Katya let out a deep breath, watching her hands fiddle. ''Okay good, because I'm really anxious.''
''What for?'' Natasha knew what for, but filling in her thoughts didn't help the process.
''That he'll say something that will set me back," she muttered, revealing her biggest fear when it came to seeing Alexei again. Those words he said to her in the helicopter that day, years ago, she was able to recall like it was yesterday. "Besides, they both know.''
Natasha hummed, signaling she had heard and understood. ''As for that second part, I informed them both that that topic was off-limits.'' Even the name 'Dreykov' was a big no-no.
Startled, Katya's head shot up. ''You did?''
''Yeah, and I realize now that maybe that wasn't up to me to say.'' She chewed her lip and looked down. ''I'm sorry.''
''No. Thank you, actually. I appreciate that. That eases one part of my mind.'' Katya smiled cautiously, feeling a small weight lift off her shoulders, though her relief didn't last very long. "If Alexei manages to keep his mouth shut," she muttered. It was one thing for him to promise something, but a whole other to actually keep it and not do what he usually does; talk without thinking first.
"Right. That's a whole other story."
"It's just that...'' She paused, trying to gather her thoughts and put them into understandable words while Natasha waited patiently. ''He isn't aware of what he is saying and the weight of his words on others. And I'm not mentally in a place where that doesn't affect me."
Natasha studied her, let those words sink in before carefully choosing an answer. "I know this is not what you want to hear, but you can't control what he is saying, only how you react to it," she said softly.
"Yeah, Nat, I know.'' Katya couldn't stop the slither of bitterness slipping into her tone, which she was not proud of. ''But what if I can't control my reaction, and I have another attack?"
Natasha took no offense at her tone, smiling softly. "Then we deal with it. Like we always do."
Shaking her head, Katya rested her chin on her knees and locked her eyes on the wall. "I'm not convinced." Her fear was stronger than logic, unfortunately. It hurt Natasha to see, but no matter how badly she wanted to hug her, she didn't.
"I know. But that's the best it's gonna get. Him, you can't control. Is he gonna say stuff that will hurt? Yes. I am not gonna sugarcoat it and say he won't. But you can't tape his mouth shut. Unfortunately." Katya rolled her eyes, agreeing. "What you can only control, is how you deal with it. Will it suck? Probably. But I know you got this."
Carefully, Katya side-eyed her wife before gluing her gaze to the wall again. Of course, what she said made sense, but her anxiety was stronger. "You have too much faith in me," she whispered, disheartened.
Determined, Natasha shook her head. "I have too little faith in him that his pathetic ass will be able to knock my girl down so far that she can't get up." Those words lingered in the air like the silence, slowly seeping into Katya's skin and reaching her heart. That's when she teared up, biting her lip to stop it from quivering. Natasha muttered much softer, "I wish you would believe in yourself like I do, and Maya does."
The mention of her daughter's name unlocked a whole other fear in Katya, one she hadn't even thought about. Once more, her head shot up, and she breathed wide-eyed, "Maya." Imagine what Alexei could say in front of a ten-year-old girl so innocent and fragile.
A fire lit behind Natasha's green irises. "I will one hundred percent smack his face again if he says one word wrong in front of her, or to her. Me, I can handle, but if he attacks you and Maya..." Her jaw clenched. "You're my family and he has to accept that. If not, it's always you two above him. Always." When she got that out of her system, her body deflated, and she realized she had let her anger take over the conversation. "Shit. I'm sorry for that rant. I guess what I meant to say is, don't underestimate your own strength. And, you're not alone in this. You never are." Insecure, she chewed the inside of her cheek and turned to Katya. "Did any of that help? It feels like I'm rambling now, but I hope it made sense."
Katya had watched with slight amusement when she had exploded and rambled afterwards, a faint smile on her lips. "It made perfect sense, thank you." Slowly, she reached out and took Natasha's hand, squeezing it a couple times. Her anxiety levels were still high, but her words had made her a bit reassured.
"Just...'' Natasha dropped her gaze to her lap. ''You're perfect, and you're worth everything to me and Maya. Don't let one stupid man tell you differently."
Katya's heart completely melted, smiling emotionally at those incredibly sweet words coming from a blushing Natasha. Slowly, she lowered her feet to drop the barrier of knees between them, and leaned over, softly gripping her chin to turn her head. Immediately, their eyes locked, though only Katya's were watering.
''Thank you,'' she whispered, gazing as deeply into Natasha's eyes as she could. Her brain had some sort of cuteness and thankfulness overload, and those two words were the only ones she could come up with.
Carefully, Natasha relaxed her shoulders, returning her vulnerable stare with the same emotion. ''Always,'' she muttered, and she couldn't stop her eyes from flickering down to Katya's lips when they smiled, so close to her own. This caused them to curl up more, so she gave into the urge and placed an incredibly delicate and light kiss on them that would have made Katya's knees weak if she had stood. ''Bedtime?'' Natasha smiled afterwards, which the brunette confirmed with a nod.
They were both absolutely exhausted, though Katya hoped she could sleep with all the somersaults happening in her stomach. And not the excited kind. She was quiet the whole time during her nighttime routine, staring at the sink while brushing her teeth, zoned out.
Though her mind wasn't only on tomorrow, but also the conversation just now. Natasha acted like it wasn't a big deal that she helped and listened. But to have someone there, always, who could pull apart all Katya's doubts and explain patiently that they were invalid, was not something to be guaranteed and taken for granted.
And she knew that. Yes, she was very aware of how lucky she was. And she'd be damned if she didn't show Natasha how thankful she felt, even if the redhead didn't need a thank you. She got it anyway. Katya clung onto her the entire time, both to show thanks, and because these hugs genuinely relieved so much anxiety.
Natasha faintly shook her head, washing her face above the sink while Katya held her waist from behind, her cheek resting on her back. The sight in the mirror was adorable, so she didn't complain. On the contrary. She turned around after she was done, planted another kiss on her lips before guiding her towards the bed, where she spooned Katya until she had fallen asleep.
For how long, neither knew, but every hour of sleep she got was a victory while tomorrow slowly crept up on them.
~~~~~~~~
A/N: another Monday, another chapter :) Hope you all had a nice Easter if you celebrated <3