I glanced to the clock, seeing it was five in the morning. I couldn't sleep. My head was too full, trying to think and know what I wanted from Jacob. I just wanted to go and find Jacob, and bring him back home, but I couldn't, not until I knew what I wanted of him. I had thought all week what I wanted of him and I couldn't come to anything that would bring him back into my life. I wanted my sun back. I wanted my old life with just him in it. But still, I wasn't sure what I truly did want. It all sounded so stupid to me! I couldn't work out my feelings, I couldn't work out want I wanted, what I had and didn't have. I just knew that I needed him.
At around six o'clock I fell asleep with the exhaustion taking over my body. I smiled and opened my eyes at the feeling of his warm breath against my neck. His eyes were on me with an unsure look in his eyes and with a small crooked smile lighting his face and full lips.
Morning, he mouthed, brushing his lips over the skin of my neck, making me shiver at his touch. He chuckled darkly at my reaction to him. Morning, I mouthed back once my thoughts were clear enough to even think of what time of the day it was. I yawned, stretching while sitting up. I looked down to Jacob while he was lying beside me with a smirk on his face while looking up to me.
His fingers ran down from my shoulder to my elbow while watching his hand moving, before holding my gaze with his. His chocolate eyes were so intense. Moving slowly, he pushed me back so he was lying over top of me while he kissed me softly. He pulled away slowly and suddenly, not breaking our gaze. "I tired you out last night?" he smirked, kissing me again.
"Mmm, you could say that," I nodded and smiled. He chuckled, turning slightly red in the cheeks. I giggled, leaning up and kissing him again softly. His hand ran down the side of my face, kissing me a little harder with every second that went by. Like usual, he was making it hard to think clearly, or even breath for that matter. I moaned at the touch of his lips on my jaw line and neck. He was making me breathless with each brush and kiss of his lips.
"What do you want Bella?" he asked in a breathless tone under my ear. I moaned at the feeling of his hot breath against my skin again.
"You," I half sighed and half moaned.
I awoke gasping at that point. All these dreams had to mean something. I'd had around ten since Jacob had left. They were all simular to each other. He was either taking me as his own, asking me what I wanted or kissing me such passion, that only a true love could show. There was only one thing that was the same in each of the dreams. There was only one thing that I wanted in each of them. Him and no one or anything else.
And then, I realized what I wanted. I wanted Jacob, in my life, as my true love, as his imprint, forever. All the dreams had meant the same thing, they were all helping me work out what I wanted from him, and they had helped. A lot.
I flung my legs over the side of my bed at twelve o'clock in the afternoon. I couldn't believe I had slept so late into the day. It would take me at least three to four hours to get to Seattle, but I didn't care. I just wanted to with him. I loved Jacob, I always had, but . . . Edward had made me blind of that. Before, I thought Edward was perfect, flawless, and he was, but he wasn't what I wanted anymore. I wanted life, I wanted warmth and a sun, not, ice, and that was what Edward was. It was a choice of fire and ice, and I had chosen, fire and passion over ice and death. I had chosen Jacob, and now, I just hoped that I could find him, and he would still accept me into his life, and to be his, forever. He was my life. He brightened my day and brought life to me, to how it should have been from the start when we first met. I should have seen it sooner. We were meant to be. I knew that now.
I packed my backpack for the day and left a note on the counter for Charlie, telling him that I was going to Seattle to look for Jacob and that I would be home late or in the next few days. I walked out into the cold icy rain, allowing it to hit the skin on my arms as I went out to my truck. I climbed inside and turned on the heater, drying myself out before starting the engine. I just hoped that its engine would last until I got to Seattle. If I got there, and then it died on me, what was the worst could happen? If I ended up staying with Jacob a few more hours or days alone, while waiting for my father to come and pick us both up and take us both home? If that was the worst that could happen, I welcomed it. I wanted to be alone with Jake for a few days, but I knew that Charlie would never like that idea . . . well, he wouldn't with Edward. Jacob on the other hand may have been different in his books. After all, Jacob was a friend of the family. But he wasn't anymore to me. I wanted him to be more than just a friend. I wanted him to be mine, and I wanted to be his. How I hadn't seen it sooner, I would never know.
As I thought it would, it took four hours to get to Seattle and with a broken radio it was just me and my thoughts. By the time I had gotten to Seattle I was starting to doubt myself. Yet again. I was starting to doubt that Jacob would want me in his life anymore. I knew I had hurt him that many times it wasn't funny. I wondered if this time he wouldn't forgive me so easily, if at all. But I knew I couldn't just give up on him and think that he wouldn't want me in his life without knowing for sure. I had to try, I just had to. Jacob meant the world to me and for him I would do anything to make things okay between the two of us. He just meant that much to me. I had been so confused and lost when Edward first left me, and when Jake came back into my life, I found my way back, thanks to him.
Stepping out into the ice, pouring down rain, I pulled the hood of my jacket over my head and started my search for him. I knew I was doing the impossible by looking for him. I had tried calling his phone again before leaving home, but still his phone wasn't responding. I just hoped he was okay. I knew it wasn't going to be easy to find him without making contact, but I had to try. I thought searching the streets would be the best place to start. I couldn't go around searching in each and every building, thinking that I would just bump into him. If I was going find Jacob, best chance was on the streets as he maybe going somewhere or heading back home. I couldn't think of anywhere else to search for him.
For around two or three hours, I roamed the streets of Seattle in the rain. I was cold and wet to the bone. I hadn't ever been so cold in my life. Not one piece of my clothing was dry. It was all soaked. People stared at me as I passed them, probably thinking I was homeless or something. I could hear my teeth chattering away faster than I thought they could or would ever chatter. I could see my breath in the air each and every time I exhaled. It was starting to get dark, but I still wasn't giving up. I hadn't been in Seattle long enough to find him. I couldn't give up yet.
The night was setting in fast and the rain was only getting colder and heavier. Each drop that fell on me felt like a tennis ball hitting me hard. I didn't even know that the rain could come down so hard that it hurt. I couldn't see anything that was more than ten metres away from me. It was impossible. Between the night light and the rain, I could hardly see any detail of whom and what was around me anymore. I couldn't see past the cars on the side walk, or even see the road to cross it.
My teeth kept on chattering away as I kept on walking. I wrapped my arms tightly around myself, just trying to keep warm, but I was way beyond that. I was too wet to even try and keep warm. I was so cold, I was almost numb. My shoulders felt weak and slouched while I walked, my knees weak and tired and my arms became dead weights on the end of my shoulders. I didn't even know the way back to my truck anymore. I had been walking for hours. It would take me the same amount of time just to get back to it. I would be better off just to keep on walking until dawn.
Quickly people started to disappear home as the night set in and the rain only got harder yet again. Something made me look up from the footpath and there I stopped dead as I saw him just five metres away from me, standing in the rain, with his black leather jacket on and grey washed out jeans. His hair dripping wet like his cloths, and yet, he still wasn't shivering. At first I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me or I was dying of hypothermia, until he said my name.
"Jake," I murmured as my legs gave out from under me, only for me to feel a sudden warmth around me and my name been called repeatedly. But I couldn't respond back. I was too cold, too weak, to even try to.
Slowly I awoke to a warm brushing feeling on my hand, in an unfamiliar darkened room. The walls and ceiling were white with thick blue-grey curtains and matching coloured carpet. My clothes were still dripping wet, but I was a lot warmer now. When I went to move, I found there were blankets tightly tucked in around me. I tried to think what had happened and felt the brushing feeling on my hand again. I yanked my hand back, startled and saw Jacob turn around and look to me from having his back turned to me. He smiled after seeing I was awake. I remembered everything that had happened then. I had been out looking for him and was so cold, and then suddenly everything went black. I must have fainted from been so cold and exhausted, but I found him, that was all that mattered now.
"Where am I?" I asked huskily, sitting up and shivering at the cold air coming in contact with my wet clothes. I knew I must not have been asleep long with how wet my clothes still felt.
"My apartment. Why did you come to Seattle Bella?" he asked me in a cold, hard tone, keeping his back turned from me and his eyes on the TV screen in front of us. It was all that was lighting the room. All the lights were out. The tone of Jacob's voice startled me. I hadn't ever heard it so cold, hard and lifeless before. I thought at that moment that he wasn't going to ever forgive me.
"I - I was looking for you."
"So, what do you want from me?" he turned around at that moment and looked deep within my eyes. I could see he was searching for the truth and nothing but the truth, and that was what he was going to get.
"I want you, as my boyfriend, the love of my life and I want to be your imprint, forever."
"And Edward?" he questioned.
"I haven't seen him in a week. I told him that I didn't want him in my life anymore.
He turned slightly away from me, looking down to the floor below the white couch I was sitting on, before looking back to me. "You already are my imprint Bella . . . I knew that you were out looking for me. That's how I found you."
I looked at him wide eyed. I didn't know that I was already his imprint. I thought it was something that developed over time as we got closer to each other, not just out of the blue. Maybe it hadn't been just out of the blue. Maybe it had been there the whole time and Jacob just hadn't told me until now. He hadn't ever really told me how he felt about me. I guess it was because I already half knew.
"Jacob . . . I - I . . ."
"I understand if the imprint changes things for you Bella." He looked away from me then. A hurt and pained look came into his eyes as he looked away.
"Jacob n-no, it doesn't change anything for me! I love you Jacob, I love you." His eyes shot back up to me then, looking at me seriously in the eye not believing it at first. I could see the moment it sunk in, that I was his and I would always be, or until he no longer wanted me. I just hoped that wasn't anytime soon. I loved him too much for him to leave me anytime soon.
He sighed in a moan like manner, standing up quickly he sat beside me, pulling the blankets from around me and pulling them around the two of us before wrapping his arm around me, bringing me into the heat of his body. I leant into his chest, wrapping both of my arms around his waist and holding him close to me. It felt so good to be so close to him, and to feel his love and passion so close to me. I hadn't ever felt so loved before.
I shivered at the difference in temperature between us. I still felt like ice compared to Jacob. My teeth began to chatter again. "God Bella, you're freezing," he said huskily, lying down on the couch with me and pulling the blankets tightly around the two of us. Jacob's clothes and hair was still wet like mine, but still no wear near to the point of how wet my clothes and hair was. I hid my face into the clothing of his chest, just trying to get warm, but I was too cold. Even his body temperature wasn't warming me at all, even with how close we were. I felt Jacob's arms tighten around me suddenly, resting his head on top of mine, trying to shield out the cold and get me warm. But it was impossible. I was just too cold.
I sighed at the touch of his thumb running down the side of my cheek and shivered when it stopped. I wished he hadn't stopped. I looked up to him, catching his deep and intense gaze staring down at me. He was drawing me in with his eyes, without even trying. I wondered why I hadn't gone for Jacob before now. He was everything a girl could want - he was everything I wanted.
Before I knew it, his lips found mine. I couldn't believe how warm they were, how soft and passionate they were upon mine. I could feel his hands running down along my sides, going under the cloth of my shirt and leaving his hands cupping the sides of my waist. I couldn't help but shiver at the feelings of his hot hands on my skin. I could feel goose bumps forming around his hands as he held me and moved his hands over my back slowly. I could hear my heart beat in my chest, quicker than I had ever felt it beat before. My head felt dazed and dizzy, but in all the good ways that I hadn't ever felt before. He had been right the whole time. I did love him. The whole time while Edward was away and even before then, I didn't want Jacob to be anything more than my friend, because I still loved Edward, but, I was wrong. I loved them both. But now things were different again. I loved Jacob more. He had always been there. He brought me life and light when there was none to be found. He gave me life, where Edward was giving me death, at my own will. I shouldn't have been so stubborn to see what Jacob was offering me. He only loved me, for who I was. Just like Edward, but differently. He wasn't keeping things from me that I should have known about, because he thought it was the right thing to do to keep me safe. Jacob told me the truth and kept me safe, all without leaving. I loved my Jacob.
My hands ran along the side of his shirt slowly and undid the buttons as he kissed me. He pulled away, looking up to me confused.
"What are you doing Bella?" he asked slowly, a little breathless.
"I - I want to feel the heat of your skin."
He half chuckled silently, rolling his eyes. One slick movement and the buttons were all undone. "Better?" he smirked.
"Sort of." He tilted his head to the side, still puzzled. I giggled softly and smiled crookedly at him. "It's better, if it's completely off your arms."
He shook his head in disbelieving it, rolling eyes at me again, while a crooked smile came to his face as he leant up and pulled his shirt and jacket completely off, throwing them to the side of the TV and lying back down under me. "Better?"
"Much," I smiled, still holding his gaze with mine carefully.
"It really doesn't bother you, my been half naked, does it?" he grinned in a cocky way at me.
I giggled, not able to help myself. I looked away from him in slight embarrassment before looking back and almost gasping at the sight of his new formed torso. He had changed so much in the past week. He was toner and buffer, more like a nineteen year old than a sixteen year old. With how much his body had changed, it suddenly felt like it had been years since I had seen him shirtless. How could he have changed so much in such little time? It had only been two, three, four weeks tops. What had changed him so much in such little time? I looked up to him in disbelief. He smiled cockily, but at the same time shyly, I could see it in his face he was a little shy. "Notice anything new?" he chuckled, teasingly.
I slapped his bicep playfully. "Yeah, what's changed so suddenly?"
"Only the fact that I've matured enough to be an Alpha that I was born to be and I have an imprint, who loves me and believes in me. It's changed me. You can see that much."
"You're gorgeous Jacob."
"You're the gorgeous one Bella. You're beautiful." He smiled, up at me, taking a stand of my hair and tucking it behind my ear softly. I smiled as he leant up and kissed me again, and making it so that we were just how we had been before, his hands on and around my waist, him kissing me with such a loving and strong passion, my heart beating crazily and out of control. My hands slipped from cupping his face down to his chest. My hand ran over his heart slowly, feeling just how much he was he was enjoying this, just how much I was driving him crazy. I liked knowing how he felt about me. Without even trying, he made it that he was leaning over top of me, heating me from above. I hardly even noticed him moving me. My arms wrapped around his neck, bringing him closer to me. I moaned as I felt his hands run up my stomach to my ribs. I shivered as his hands left me. He pulled away, staring into my eyes for a moment.
"You're too cold Bella. You need a hot shower."
I nodded sadly. I didn't want to leave him, even if it was just for five minutes. But I got the feeling it would take longer than five minutes to warm me up. I was still cold and wet to the bone. My clothes were still soaked. It would take forever for the couch to dry out, because of my lying on it for so long. I remembered then, I didn't have any clothes to get dressed in after I had a shower. There was no point in having a warm shower and then getting back in cold wet clothes . . . but then, I didn't really need clothes to stay warm, did I?
"I don't have any clothes to put on afterward. There's no point . . . unless." I looked up to him then, with a smirk on my face. He looked at me clueless at first and then shock rolled into his eyes.
"Bella!"
"What?" I didn't think that he was on the same page as me now. It wasn't that shocking.
"I've only just found out that you love me and your already want to go getting into that?"
"I didn't mean that Jacob." I rolled my eyes at him. He was a typical guy. "I just mean, you can keep me warm, while my clothes are drying."
"I know where there's a heater. Your clothes will be dry by the time you get out." He went to get up, but I grabbed his wrist, making him stop and look back to me.
"I just want my personal space heater, not a heater. Plus, you would only blow the heater up with how wet these clothes are."
He smirked at my words. "Suggestive much?" his smirk grew wider. At first I couldn't work out what was so suggestive about what I said, but then it dawned on me. I just want my personal space heater, not a heater. I squeezed my eyes shut with embarrassment. It was just typical of Jacob to pick up on something like that!
I looked at him, waiting for his answer. "Okay, okay. I'll do it, but you have no idea how your tempting me right now."
"You have no idea how much you've been tempting me since you left Jacob." He raised an eye brow up at me and I instantly turned red. I wish I hadn't let that one slip. I knew I would never let that one down if he found out. I ignored the look he gave me and slipped out from under the covers, letting my hand slip from his wrist to his hand as I went. Just as our fingers were left touching the tips of each others, his other hand caught mine. I looked up to him as our fingers twisted together softly and smiled. His arms wrapped around me, warming my back and sides with the heat of his body. He kissed my neck softly, holding me tightly. "Do you mind, if I joined you? You do need all the help you can get to get warm again Bella."
I turned around to him, looking him in the eye. Was he serious? I saw no glimpse of humour in his face. He was serious and he could tell that I was a little nervous about it.
"I don't mean, doing anything Bella," he said quickly, after realizing. "I just mean by getting you warmer."
I scoffed at that. "What could you do that the water can't?" I seriously thought he was playing with me, but then I suddenly saw in his eyes that he wasn't. I saw hurt come into them.
"Nothing, other than the extra warmth," he answered a little sheepishly.
"Okay," I smiled, trying to sound playful so he thought I had been playing with him. I saw the hurt disappear from his eyes in that instant and be replaced with a bright glow of energy. I reached up and kissed him softly before walking towards where I thought the bathroom was down the narrow and short hallway. I turned on the light to see a huge square bath tub in the corner that was just like a spa, but it was in fact a bath. The whole room was white, and had a white vase with a bright pink and white rose in it. I went over to the side of the bath, turning it on and placing some mixture into the hot water for thick bubbles to form. To be honest, I was nervous to what Jacob would think of me. I know, he already loves me, but I still couldn't get the thoughts out of my mind, and we were only taking a bath together for crying out loud! I would hate to see myself if we were going all the way. Get a grip Bella! It's just Jacob! He loves you as it is! I thought, basically screaming it out loud in my head as I started to get undressed. I shivered and shook with chills coming over me as the cold air came into contact with my damp skin. I was warmer with my clothes on for crying out loud!
I stepped carefully into the bath and sat down. The water felt like it was boiling hot and was cooking me at first, but after a few minutes I got used to it, but still, I was ice cold. My teeth were still chattering away at a million miles a second. My jaw would fall off soon enough if I wasn't careful. I heard a knock on the door and slipped down into the bubbles around me, trying to hide myself from him. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to get that stupid idea out of my head again!
"Bella, are you okay?" I heard him question quietly.
"Yeah, fine. Why?"
"You're just nervous, really nervous."
I didn't turn around to speak to him. I thought that he would want some privacy as I heard the zipper go on his jeans. I shivered again, still feeling cold. Everything I touched felt hot to my hands. Even the bar of soap on the side of the bath felt hotter than my hands and it hadn't even been under hot or warm water yet.
"Here, you'll want this." I turned around to take whatever it was he was handing to me, only to get a slap in the face with a damp face wash. I screamed at its contact with my skin. It was cold! I heard Jacob chuckle almost silently as I removed it slowly, a little annoyed.
"Sorry," he murmured with a little hidden humour in his tone. I looked away after taking the cloth from my face, not bothering to say anything. I leant forward, towards the taps, letting its water flow over my arms as I heard the water moving behind me, before warm arms wrapping around my waist softly. I smiled at the contact of his warmth. I turned around and smiled at him, suddenly feeling all the more better to have him around.
"What's with the bubbles?" he asked, picking up a handful and blowing into them so there were bubbles flying around us. I giggled and sat up a little, playing with them before his words sunk into my head. I bit my lip, looking slightly away. He tilted his head to the side, waiting for my answer, but I didn't say a thing. He quickly added it all up.
"You were nervous? Weren't you?"
I nodded. There was nothing I could get past Jacob unless it was the truth. He could tell what was going on if I lied or even if I stayed silent.
He sighed in frustration, running his wet hand over his face. "Bella, don't be nervous around me. I love you. I don't care if what's on the outside is scared, burnt, stretched, marked or even green and slimy for that matter. I still love you. " His words comforted me greatly. I already knew that, but hearing it from him, reassured me greatly.
"Thanks Jacob," I smiled back at him as he leant into my back, holding me closely to him. Suddenly I was feeling warmer with his touch and hold around me.
He ran hot water over my back with the cloth and pushed softly into the muscles of my back, getting out all of the aches the cold numbness had caused me. I smiled, loving how he was treating me. I hadn't ever had something like this done to me before.
"Are you feeling any warmer?" he asked, running his hand slowly down from my shoulder to my ribs.
"A little," I nodded. "More so since you got in though," I giggled, lying back against him softly. He smiled, looking down at me. His arms wrapped around me tighter with his hands resting in the pit of my stomach with my hands covering his. I smiled, looking down towards the faint colour of our hands entwined together under the water. I looked back up to him with a smile as his left hand lifted from under mine and touched my chin, as he kissed me softly. I took his hand from my chin and held it tightly in my hand as I lent up on him, kissing him deeply. His skin was so smooth and soft under my hand. I hadn't even realized that I had move onto him fully until I notice the difference in temperature under my hand. His chest and abs were so much more warmer compared to his hands. I sighed at the feeling of his hand running along my shoulder. My eyes drifted to a close at all the thoughts and feelings I was having, until he broke me of the trance like state I was in.
"Bella . . ." his eyes were darkened, his voice faint and breathless. I could see what he wanted, and I wanted it too. I had wanted it from the second I saw him on the street. I just didn't think it would come so soon.
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