"Thank you for being so understanding Sam. I love this place and I really didn't want to go but I think it's for the best" I smile at him and he wraps his arms around me, pulling me tight into his chest before leaning back and holding me in front of him by my shoulders,
"I completely understand. You know you'll always have a place here if you ever want it back"
Tears spring to my eyes but I quickly blink them away. I know I'll be in here pretty often for drinks, so I'll still see him.
I wave him goodbye as I step out of the door and turn to look for Nate. He's leaning against his car on his phone, sunglasses perched on his nose, and I notice the looks he's getting from women walking by. In the past it would have driven me mad, worrying about it but now, I stand comfortably and beam at him when he lifts his head and spots me, slipping his phone into his back pocket and grinning at me.
"Hi" I lean over to peck him on the lips and round the car to slide into the passenger's seat, turning and smiling at Marc and Lily in the backseat. I turn my head back to Nate when he starts the car up and glances over at me,
"Let's get this over with, shall we?"
I sit back and fasten my seatbelt, taking a deep breath to calm myself down and we all sit in comfortable silence on the journey to my house. It doesn't take us long to arrive and I spot Keira's car as Nate pulls onto the driveway, taking the keys out of the ignition and turning in his seat to look at me.
"If this is too much at any point, just say the word and we'll get someone to come back for everything. Alright?" I nod my head firmly at him and step out of the car, greeted by a hug from JD and a slap on the ass from Keira.
"Good?" she asks and I smile my response, pulling my keys from my pocket and stepping up to open the front door.
I leave my shoes on when we get into the house, not worrying too much anymore and for some reason feeling like I might need them on. Probably because of what happened the last time I forgot to take them off.
"Right" I turn to look at the group of people behind me, all looking at me like I might fall apart and I roll my eyes at them, "First of all, please stop looking at me like that. I am fine" I tell them and laugh when they all perk up slightly, smiles on their faces,
"Better. Second, I think this will be faster if we all take a room each. How does that sound?" I receive unanimous nods from everyone, watching as JD places the pile of flattened cardboard boxes on the floor and holding out a box of markers and duct tape for everyone.
"Ok great so, I can do the living room. You guys can decide which rooms you want to take" I watch as they argue amongst themselves for a few minutes,
"I can do the bedroom" Nate offers, and I look at Keira when she scoffs,
"Oh please you just want an excuse to stuff her underwear in your pockets, perv. I'll do the bedroom, there are certain things that a best friend is obliged to deal with" I know exactly what Keira is referring to and I think it's pretty obvious to everybody else as well when Lily giggles and Nate looks at me with heat in his eyes.
"Fine. I'll do the kitchen then" he says, raising his brow at me and leaning over to pick up a box, chain sliding out of his t-shirt as he does.
Lily offers to take the bathroom, Marc the spare bedroom and JD offers to pick up the decorations dotted around the house, promising to wrap them in newspaper to prevent breakages before running off up the stairs.
I pick up a box and watch as everyone heads off to their designated areas before turning to head into the living room, taking a deep breath before I step in and freezing just in the doorway.
It feels so strange being back in here, in the space that once felt so safe to me but now serves as a reminder for the fact that I was attacked in my own home. Somewhere I was supposed to be safe from harm, but he came in and ruined that for me.
I avoid the couch, telling myself that I'll sell it, the image of him sat on there ingrained in my mind and I don't ever want to touch it again.
I pull some of the frames from the walls, smiling down at the pictures of me and Keira and me and Sam. So glaringly obvious that these two people were the only friends I had and now I have a house full of them helping me pack my life away and move.
I place the frames in the box, stuffing a cushion in front so they don't break and I pack up my small decorations dotted around the room. I lean over to pick the tray up from the centre of the coffee table and freeze.
My head throbs at the memory of what happened, and I slowly sink to my knees, eyes caught on the space that cut me open, running my finger lightly over the soft wood and wincing. My shoulder feels like it hurts again too, and I roll it to get rid of some of the discomfort.
As I sit here I can almost see it happening again but this time I don't feel afraid. I feel appreciation for how brave I was in getting out of here before he could do something really vicious, something I'm sure he was more than capable of.
"Sweetheart?" I hear and I glance up to see Nate on the threshold, holding a broken mug in his hands, "You okay?" he asks, stepping slowly over to me and I nod my head, dropping my eyes down to the table momentarily then back up to him.
His eyes follow my own and he frowns, stepping closer to me and placing the broken mug down gently on the couch beside him,
"Do you want to take this with us?" he asks tentatively, crouching down and looking at the coffee table, focusing on where my hands move,
"No" I whisper out, subconsciously lifting my left hand to my quickly healing scar and wincing at the contact on the tender skin,
"Is that-" he begins and seems to choke on his words, brows furrowing as he watches my movements, "Is this what happened to your head? You hit it on this?" I shake my head,
"He hit it on this" I murmur and wince when his breath catches in his throat, "I don't want it. It just feels weird to touch it again"
"Okay" he breathes out, "We'll get rid of it then" I smile over at him and stand from my spot on the floor, stepping around the table and leaning up to kiss him when he stands.
"Thank you for being you" I tell him and pull away, picking up my box and leaning down to touch the table once more before I move on, gathering everything I can fit in my box before closing it and scribbling 'Living Room' on the top.
"We'll get someone to get the TV. Are you happy with our couch at home or do you want this one?" he asks and I automatically shake my head no.
"We'll sell this then" he fishes a pack of post it notes from his pocket and sticks it to the corner of the couch and then sticks another one on top of the coffee table, standing straight and smiling at me before picking up the broken mug and smiling sheepishly at me.
"Um. This will be going in the bin" he tells me and I roll my eyes at him,
"I can see that" I smile and he sends me a wink before going back into the kitchen to carry on packing, but not before turning his head and looking at me,
"What exactly is in your bedroom that only Keira can see?" he asks with a sly look on his face and I shrug my shoulders at him,
"If you're good maybe I'll show you" he drops his head back with a groan and shakes his head,
"I fucking love you, baby"