A single ray of light awakened me from my deep slumber. It feels thousands of years already as I felt my body was on its weakened state. I felt like I was in my most vulnerable state but stopped when I finally opened my eyes.
I was surprised, I thought I died at the age of 55 but here I am, on my bed when I was 12, lying comfortably without any scratches, wearing my Ninja outfit back in the day - I laughed hardly.
What sort of catastrophe is this? I am still on the state of the mind where I wouldn't thought that I came back to life when I was 12 years old. I closed my eyes again to rethink or maybe to process what I've seen just now and almost laugh in my head because this is just so ridiculous to think. I am so pre-occupied with my sudden conscious but bewildered for the fact that I think I may have come to when I was still 12. I know this is sound so ridiculous and over-bearing but I assure you that this might be reality.
Alright, let me process the information I have. First of all, I died at the age of 55 and then after ages, or what, time or something, my consciousness came and now I'm sitting in my couch inside my apartment when I was 12. Okay, I'm delusional.
For the last 20 minutes, I tried everything. Hurt myself to much extent that I'll bleed until it hurts. I used my kunai to slit my legs and it did bleed meaning this is real. I went rush to the bathroom sink and let my head meet the tap water running on it and it was so cold meaning this is real. And then I went back to the living room only to hit my head using the book that I used to read, it's about the fundamentals of ninjutsu.
As I got tired of this shinanegans, I took a cold shower and changed my clothes in just simple khaki shorts and T-shirt with Uzumaki crest at the back of it. I plop myself down the couch to comprehend everything that just happened. So, I am hurt with all the tactics I've used to prove my existence here, and I must say that I might be really here. Well, it is simply because those wounds that made stings so much. I know, stupidity took over.
I can't just explain how did I end up going back? I suppose I should get reincarnated, in a new one, probably decent soul and body and not like this. My childhood wasn't that great to begin with. My life in the first place was insignificant to even start a discussion. All things have changed when I met Itachi but that's all in all. After his death, everything became dark.
"What in the world just happened to me? The last thing I remember before my death was looking into nowhere, without thinking anything and just listening to Sasuke and Naruto's words of comfort but in the end of course, I still died." All of this ridiculous matter got my head ache. I massages my temple for a bit before deciding to go outside my apartment.
I live alone, always. I was an orphan, luckily the Lord Third seems to acknowledged my knowledge about the world, tactics and even understanding peculiar situations. I am no prodigy like Hatake Kakashi and Uchiha Itachi. I was just an hard-worker. I had to double, or maybe triple my hard-work just to attain everything I had attained. It's not a simple a gamble.
I was in impression of being one of the strongest ninja of the Leaf alongside with Kakashi, Itachi and their batch. I'm not trying to show off but just stating a fact. And since I feel like I'm back with my 12 years old self, I'm already Jonin, probably in this timeline or was about to.
As I wander around the village, I felt nostalgia. My apartment wasn't that far to the Hokage monument so I'm near the town - the reason why am I surrounded with noise. I just walked around, feeling my eyes burned because I feel like I need to cry this out. I just came back and you can't of course, expect to just bear this everything in one shot. I'm no God to do that. I am just a human with complicated emotional-complex.
"Ah, Inoichi-san, hello. I've decided to take scroll for a meantime. I'm hoping I could get flowers." I greeted the blonde man, sweeping the dust out of their flower shop. As soon as he recognized my voice, he looked at me with a twinkling eyes before calling his wife to come nearer.
I must say I'm a bit close to Yamanaka since they're actually a good and nice clan. They're neutral even before, when I was still an adult. Inoichi-san and his wife are probably one of the best parents in town since they took care of me even before I graduated in academy.
"Oho, the great Shimitzuya Aki finally decided to come over. We've been waiting for ages! This kid!" His wife, Mrs. Yamanaka greeted after getting nearer to her husband. "You've become lovely day by day, Aki. It would be no surprise if one day you'll come with your boy-toy." She added making me flush out of embarrassment. Well, yes, I brought Itachi here when I was 13 and told them that he's my suitor. They're the first one to ever know that the great heir of the Uchiha clan became my boyfriend in no time. They're so grateful and told me that finally, I was in good hands.
But yeah, just like how the whether change so drastically, I'm feeling the tides of destiny will come change too.
"Aki?" Oh, I forgot to answer. I became pre-occupied.
"Oh, with that impression I doubt I would present a boy-toy here. I have no time to waste for romance, Yamanaka-san." I told her laughing.
"Hmp, you're telling me that now but I assure you, when the times come and you're ready to fall in love, I'll be there to give you some roses." I smiled with that. It did happened, she gave me white roses before, when I finally acknowledge that I loved Itachi. "So, girl, what flowers would like to be arranged? Do you have something in mind?"
I thought for a moment to look at the display and smiled, "I would love to see white tulips, in a bouquet. And Carnations. I'll leave the arrangement to you, Yamanaka-san." And there she went back inside to prepare my order, leaving me alone with Inoichi-san.
"I've heard about your upcoming ANBU entrance exam to Shikaku, I'm wishing you the best Aki." Inoichi-san commended and I smiled. So, this is where I'll be entering the ANBU. The first time I met Itachi was when I finished my exam, he congratulated along with his cousin - Uchiha Shisui.
"Ah, yes, I was a bit nervous knowing how hard my life could get inside the organization but I guess, I'll do my best." I released a small smile.
"You know that we're here, right? You can always lean on us." Inoichi-san said with a smile. I keep forgetting that he's a Yamanaka, their techniques relies on mind and he's one of the infamous psychiatrist, no - mind torturer of all time. I sighed.
"I know, this is just self-reflection, Inoichi-san but I'll keep that in mind." I am rather thankful to them for their support. After Itachi's death, they're the first person to lend me a hand and support me to at least live my life until my body finally gave up.
"Anyway, it's still to early for you to be out, so where are you going kid?" He asked in curiosity. I can't blame him though, it's still to early, probably 6:00 AM in the morning, less or more. He knew that I'm not a morning person but a late morning person. "Speaking of flowers, are you going to the cemetery?" He probably asked that because I have no one to visit there so this sudden situation got him wonder.
"Ah, well, I just to want to go to KIA stone, that's all." KIA stone is a stone where all of the hero's name of the village was engraved. It just saddened me that after his death, his name wasn't able to be engraved there even though he had done enough to be considered as hero but I know him so well.
He had no desires for fame, name and even titles. the only thing he cares is the village and the safety of his love ones. I know, but I just can't help to think that it's a bit unfair for him or maybe I'm the only who thought like this.
"I see."
"Aki, here you go. Be careful, okay? Stop by whenever you got time, I missed you in our dinning table." She said, handing me the flowers I'd ordered.
"I will, Yamanaka-san. I'll get going now, I don't want to photosynthesize myself under the bright sunlight later." I bid goodbyes and wave at them before teleporting away.
But as soon as I felt that I'm all alone now, I felt my emotion rushed out of my system and there I felt my tears running down my face as I stand in front of the KIA stone. I cried there silently, mourning over the fact that Itachi's name wasn't here, of course, logically speaking, he shouldn't be here. He should be around my age in this timeline, making himself known as a full-pledge ninja.
Old feelings rushed down my spine. The feeling of nostalgia weakened my knees so I had no choice but to kneel while still letting myself mourn over the man who hadn't yet died in this timeline. I can still feel the absurdity of the fact that I came back to the past after my death.
I placed the flowers below the stone and silently prayed, no - I pleaded to whoever that please, don't let Itachi suffers the same fate just like the last time. Don't let the history repeat because I don't think I will be able to stand seeing him die in front of me again.
"Rather than him, I would like it if you will just choose me instead of him, to receive the painful path. I would love to accept every pain he had gone through before, just don't... let him suffer again. If this is a second chance, I'm begging you, just choose me, not him. He's a kindest soul while I'm insignificant, just save him." I begged while crying, holding my knees together as I sat on the ground, facing the stone. "A shinobi must not cry but how could I not cry when I knew that he'd cried a thousand of tears or more, feeling the burden of the world because he's a great man."
"He's a hero." I heard a voice behind me, a little far but not hidden on my eyesight. Shivers run down my spine as soon as I recognized his chakra signature. I never thought that he would come here. Our first meeting should be after my entrance exam. He shouldn't be here. How pitiful to see me.
I sat up without taking my eyes off the stone. I'm not sure whether I'm just afraid to face him, afraid that I might go jump in front of him to give him a hug because I missed him so much. Hearing his words rang a sleeping bell inside my ears, it feels awesome. I felt the need to live by just hearing his words and I know, I feel hopeless. He might think I'm a creep.
"Y-Yeah, he is." And then I bit my tongue to hold myself. I might utter words that might intrigued him, and I know his nature, he's a very curious person and I don't want to drag him with my burdens.
But why can't I stop my tears from falling? It's getting annoying that no matter how much I used my handkerchief to wipe out those tears, it keeps falling. Feeling his presence behind me breaks me down and I don't know what to do anymore. Whether I leave him here or just stay, nothing really matters. Can I be selfish and stay with him for a while? I missed you so much Itachi. I missed you so damn much that I don't want to leave you alone here and just stay here and probably introduce myself and tell you how much I love you.
But I don't want to startle you. I don't want to give you any hardships and if my love isn't enough.. I know someone will be enough for you and even it wasn't me, always remember that my love for you is unconditional. That no matter what will happen, I will always love you.
"You must be Shimitzuya Aki, I've heard great things about you and good luck for the entrance exam." Itachi said after feeling that I'm done crying.
I felt a blood rush on my face, I looked horrible, probably. I can feel my eyes are swollen and I'm so ashamed to face him now but it doesn't matter. Nothing really matters.
I turned face to his side to face him and there I met his familiar onyx eyes, the gaze that I've longing for years. He seems taken aback when I eyed him yearning. I saw confusion on his eyes so I bowed my head to acknowledge his presence and to cut my gaze on him.
"And you must be Uchiha Itachi, pleasure is mine. And thank you for the good luck." I gave him a smile after regaining my composure. My usual face emotions which was the neutral me. "Pardon my display earlier, Uchiha Itachi-san. I was just overwhelmed with one thing or two."
He smiled, "No need for formalities, just Itachi. And I would also like to apologize, It wasn't intentional of me to hear those." I saw a tint of blush on his cheeks when he said that. He's probably thinking that it was inappropriate of him to be seen eavesdropping on someone else.
Same old, same old baby.
"Oh, it's okay." I said, waving my hands on the air.
Itachi walked closer, his gaze is now fixated on the stone. He's also holding carnations, placing them below the stone near my flowers. I let him pray as I stepped back to give him some privacy. I almost walked away when I heard him called my name so I stopped and looked back on him again.
Hearing my name to be called by him ached my heart for no reason. I might cry any seconds by now. I might breakdown again so I suppose I should go now and cry somewhere.
"What is it, Itachi-san?" I held myself, forcefully, not to look yearning in front of him. I need to stop embarrassing myself.
Itachi gave a smile when I met his eyes again, "Nothing, I suppose I should walk you outside the cemetery at least." Ah, I see. His gentleman side emerges, I agree. For a second, I felt proud that I became this man's girlfriend. He showed me his different emotions whenever we're alone and it feels a great opportunity whenever he's there to show me his new side. And now, seeing this gentleman side of him made me smile.
"Oh, I see. We can walk together out." I said and there his smile grew wider as he walked towards me to level himself on my pace so we could walk together. The tranquility that I've longed is what I am feeling now. Just like before, he isn't awkward, he wouldn't make you uncomfortable and he's so careful. My man, how much I missed you so much.
"Are we on the same batch?" He suddenly asked so I looked at him. "I was just curious, you look like about my age." He smiled, rubbing the back of his head.
"I think your promotion was ahead of week or two before mine. I'm not sure." I answered.
"I see, I hope you pass your ANBU entrance exam, Aki-san." He said with sincerity, making my heart drop aching. "Why?"
I stopped, "What why?"
Itachi stopped talking for a while before speaking, "Well, you have this look of longing every time our eyes would meet."
Unconsciously, I smiled. I forgot how sharp his observation was. He's sharp as knife and I will never win against someone sharp like Itachi. Yes, I just admit my defeat.
"Why are you smiling?" He asked confused.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Itachi-san. But it is true that I'm yearning for something. I don't know how to specify but that's the general." I then shifted my eyes on the road from him and just continued to walk solemnly.
"Is it the hero you've talked about earlier?" Oh, I almost forgot that he caught mourning earlier, silly. "It's okay if you don't want to answer." He added sincerely.
I gave him a smile, "Probably?" I shrugged. "Well, he's really great. I would do anything just to make sure he wouldn't suffer anymore." I mumbled the last sentence but that didn't go unchecked with Itachi's sharp hearing. "If I could only take away the pain, but what done is done."
"He's lucky." My brows furrowed and I immediately looked at him. "Having someone like you, who's prepared to do anything for him." His eyes were shouting envy when he shouldn't be. I must say, I'm lucky to have you before, Itachi. "Did he...?"
"He died." I confessed.
"Is he on the stone?" He asked, eyes full of curiosity. 100% sure that he'll search for the name so I smiled at the back of my head because he's just so adorable. It factored the reason why I loved him so much.
"Well, he isn't. And now, I am only full of regrets." I released a painful laugh. "A pity, indeed."
"You're still young, Aki-san." He reminded me. I forgot again that in this timeline I'm just a 12 year old girl. Not some adult with a lot of bad memories. "You have a lot of time in your hands."
I laughed, I caught his attention and made his brows furrowed because of my sudden laugh. "Sorry, I seem to forget that I'm still a 12 year old girl. Thank you for reminding, I guess."
"You're odd, usually girls would cry and cry and mourn and mourn." I laughed again. He just let me laugh because it's too funny to hear the great heir of the Uchiha clan jokes. "Now you're laughing." I saw a ghost smile on his lips but didn't bothered to talked about it.
"I must thank you for lifting up my mood. If you would let me, after my entrance exam, I would like to buy you some dinner or snacks. I refuse your possible refusals so, what?" I raised brows continuously, making him paused for a while before I heard him laugh.
I was taken aback when I heard, when I finally heard his genuine laugh. After all these past years of my life, I now hear the music of my ears again. This melody that only Uchiha Itachi could make.
"I shouldn't say no for free meals, aren't I?" He asked with a joyful smile on his face. His eyes speaks for the joy he's feeling right now and I'm happy to know that he's happy even just for a second. I know what's happening with the clan now, I suppose I should make a move.
"Clearly you understand, Itachi-san." And then we stopped after we reached the exit. "I must be going now, I have to meet the Hokage." I seriously uttered. "I had a nice time with you, Itachi-san. I wish you a nice day and see you after the exam."
"Oh, yes, thank you, I also had a great time, Aki-san. Then, have a wonderful day." In one last wave, I disappeared in front of him, leaving him alone in front of the cemetery. I flashed above the Hokage monument, cold breeze greeted my body as I stepped inside the forest, letting my tears run down.
"I'm hopeless."
( - _ - )
"She's 10 over 10, I'm telling you." The obnoxious voice Itachi was familiar with greeted him after Aki disappeared in front of him. Again, the yearning feeling flashed in her eyes and that didn't go unchecked with Itachi's hawk-eye.
He seems to wonder why in the world Aki would look like that to him? It's as if she's been trying to hold up her tears that is supposed to fall for whatever reason. Itachi is a very observant to even feel that he might be a partaker of her ordeals but shrugged the thought off of his mind after remembering that this was their first encounter.
"Who is she?" Shisui asked, wrapping his arms around Itachi's shoulder. "Is she your girlfriend? Bro, I thought you would end up with Izumi. Damn."
"Dumbass, I just knew her today. We ran off each other in front of the KIA Stone. And she's Shimitzuya Aki, one of the examinees for ANBU's, didn't you get the list?" Itachi only deadpanned on his oblivious cousin - might he add, crazy cousin. "You're a proctor and you didn't know? Hokage-sama really should reconsider of putting you in-charge." He gave him an eyeroll only to earn a scoff from the great Shisui of the Body Flicker.
"I am best of my own, maybe I read about her profile... maybe not. Doesn't matter, if she pass, she pass. If not, then not."
"You're terrible."
"I'm just saying, okay? I saw the glint on her eyes. She's probably just cried, right? I have this feeling that she's soft or something sentimental, definitely not suited for ANBU." Strict - is the only word Itachi could think at that moment. "Of course, I'm not degrading her using that, I'm just concerned. But as long as her loyalty lies within village, I will not say anything about her being sentimental and emotional." He added.
"Again, you're terrible." Itachi massages his temple, stressed. He knew that his cousin was right but they shouldn't forget the fact that Aki have the impression of being in lined with them. She accomplished so many things after becoming a genin, now becoming an ANBU. It is not something to belittle. He knew her will of fire and definitely sure that her loyalties lies within the village.
How did I know that? - Itachi asked after realizing that he mention about her will of fire and loyalties. They have just met earlier, minutes might he add. Nothing more, nothing less.
"Come on, 'tachi. Anyway, she's 10 over 10, what are you gonna do about that?!" Itachi facepalmed on his sugar rushed cousin in front of him.
"She has nothing to do with your obnoxiousness, and please do leave me out of this matter. I want to live peacefully." He answered.
"Tch, you're no fun. But well yeah, seeing you both together earlier made me realized that you're compatible, made for each other if not." Again, another delusion of Shisui.
"You're speaking nonsense today, Shisui. How about we head back? I'm sure Sasuke's been waiting for me since forever."
"Ah, here comes the brother-complex. Come on!!!"