Taehyung
I usually would never let anyone know exactly when I'm suffering, at least not through words. I tend to keep it to myself and avoid all the questions people ask me as soon as my pain shows on my face. I even get mad if they insist, and I can't seem to hide any of it. My face is a clear window to my soul, every feeling is well on display, unless people are too oblivious to see it.
However, this time it's different. I'm hurting too much to just sit there and deal with it on my own. I need someone. And I only want go to that one person who I'm sure won't ask about it. I've known her for a bit more than a month, and yet I trust her enough to call her. She picks up at the third ring.
"Hey Bridge, are you free?" I say as I bite my nails.
Her voice is friendly as usual. "I'm currently at the park to take my uncle's dog for a walk, what's wrong?" She doesn't know that her statement was enough to make my eyes water.
"Nothing." It's impossible for me to hold back a sigh. She's probably thinking I mean the exact opposite, but doesn't ask further. "I've just had a rough day and if you could come to my place I'd really appreciate it."
"Sure, no problem" she chimes. I'm positive she won't investigate what's bothering me until I share it with her. It's what our deal is about: no romantic strings, no questions asked. We're not strangers with benefits anymore, that's for sure, but she's the type of friend who respects the boundaries we set, and it's what I need the most at this particular time. There's always time to talk later, I want her to break me off first.
"Thank you" I say, relieved that she accepted my invitation.
When I hang up, I take a quick shower and get dressed - although it doesn't really matter what clothes I wear, they'll end up on my living room floor anyway. Less than twenty minutes later, Bridget is knocking at my door. I open it with little to no delicacy and forget what good manners mean. She doesn't even have the time to say hello: I grab her hand and pull her inside, only to slam her against the door afterwards, my thigh immediately establishing dominance by parting her legs, eager to hear what Bridget has to moan about it.
"Sorry, hi" I breathe out once a whole minute of making out has passed.
"Hi," she mutters. "Don't apologise."
Bridget drops her purse on the floor and gets rid of her jacket, while I remove my T-shirt. I let her take a moment to appreciate my bare torso before I pin her hands above her head and my lower body crashes into hers. I press my hips against her whilst we devour each other's lips. My mind has already gone blank.
We finally take a breath the moment she pushes me away and leads me to the sofa, where I sit down while she undresses and throws her jeans to the floor, exposing the elaborated dragon tattoo on her thigh. So far I've also noticed the tiny shooting star on her wrist, the twin-pan balance and the woman's face drawn in only one line on her arms, the flower that grows on her ankle all the way up to her calf, and a lightning bolt on her middle finger. My eyes are fixed on her figure, I wish they could take off the rest of her outfit with a simple look. I know she wouldn't stop me if I did.
Once her legs are free from the denim fabric and her shoes are out of the way, I grab her wrist again, pull her closer and let her sit on my lap to kiss her. We move in sync, which sends tingles down my spine and ignites a fire where my body is in contact with hers. Since her eyes are closed, I catch her off guard when my hand pulls her underwear aside and touches her cautiously to learn where she likes it the most. She now has not one, but two - the number of fingers I'm using - more reasons to keep swinging her hips in slow but steady movements. With her mouth still glued to mine, I smirk proudly at every sound that leaves her lips: nothing's more gratifying than knowing I'm doing a good job.
My other hand cups her face, pushing her away only enough to be able to look her in the eyes while my thumb grazes her lower lip. As soon as the idea crosses my mind, I switch hands so that she can taste herself. She sticks out the tip of her tongue to lick my fingers and I slowly push them inside her mouth. She doesn't act surprised, instead starts sucking on them, swirling her tongue around them and occasionally kissing the skin. I hate to admit it feels better than I expected. This only confirms that any part of the human body can be an erogenous zone. It makes a lot of sense that I enjoy to have my fingers sucked on. In the end, fingertips are highly sensitive to touch, it's their primary purpose.
My free hand crawls between Bridget's legs, so that I can continue touching her at the same pace as before, this time from behind. When she admits she's getting close to the edge, I abruptly stop, and admire the shocked expression painted on her face. Her death stare is almost adorable. I don't articulate any verbal response, it's best if I just showed her.
I lay her down on the sofa while I remain in the same spot as before, just in a different position. Her legs are still wrapped around my waist, giving me all the space I need to make my next move, that is, taking care of her upper body, too. I pop open all the buttons of her white blouse, exposing her black tank top underneath. I can clearly see she's wearing no bra, which makes it easier for me to lift her top up and introduce my mouth to her bosom. The first encounter creates goosebumps all over her chest as she grows more and more excited every second. Her reactions to my touch satisfy my ego. I'm not the first friend with benefits she's had, but I like to believe I'm the only one making her feel this good. The skin of her bosom is too soft not to suck on it.
"How do you feel about hickeys?" If she wants as few people as possible to know about our relationship, I assume she'd rather avoid being covered in marks.
"As long as they're not visible, it's fine," Bridget says softly. "This was a perfect place, for instance."
I grin to myself and resume the game. I lick all over her right breast whilst my hand makes sure the left one doesn't feel neglected. As Bridget suggested, this is a hidden spot that only she and I can see. With this in mind, I let my mouth create a purple work of art on her chest, guided by the series of encouraging sounds Bridget is making. I can't stay quiet myself as my laboured breathing joins her voice. My hips keep pressing her body down onto the couch until I'm finished covering her chest with marks. I admire it for a moment before sliding her top back into place so that it brushes against her sensitive nipples. I at last grab a cushion from behind me and place it right under her lower back. The thought of what I'm about to do to her gives her the chills. In order to suffocate her moans, she bites down on her lip so hard that I'm afraid it might bleed.
"My roommate won't be home until tonight, you can let it out" I murmur before switching to a more comfortable position and lowering my head dangerously close to her black underwear until she can feel my hot breath right where she wants it to be. When I leave a trail of kisses on her hips, her legs tighten around me, and I take it as an invitation to go further. I therefore proceed to move the fabric of her underwear aside and replace it with my face. Bridget lets out a gasp and shuts her eyes while an instinct forces her to close her legs against her will.
"Not yet, baby, not yet." My gaze paralyses her on the spot. She slowly spreads her legs as I help her by placing a hand on each knee to push them further open. Once she has given me enough space to dive into her, Bridget's reaction is almost immediate. Her back arches repeatedly as my tongue sends her to heaven - or hell, depends on your view on this whole thing.
"Why are you doing all this to me? Shouldn't I be doing it to you?" she pants. Even though she's not the only person feeling the arousal grow within her, I was the one who called her, so it's legit of her to wonder why I'm acting as if it were the other way around. I pull away only to stare into her soul while I speak.
"Because trust me," I explain. "I'm enjoying this as much as you do." My voice is hoarse, it sounds more intimidating than I wanted it to be, but judging by her face, that's what makes it a complete turn-on.
Once I go back to work, the wave of pleasure she feels is so intense that her chest struggles to get some air into her lungs. She needs oxygen to scream my name, so I slow down just enough to hear her body talk. Due to the uncomfortable position I'm in, I have to take a short break when my muscles beg for mercy. After stretching my back, I'm ready to focus back on Bridget's neck, but she seems to have other plans: she's already sitting up and rubbing my thighs with an unmistakable smug grin.
Drops of sweat decorate her forehead, wetting a few strands of hair, which she wipes away from her face. She manages to stand up from the sofa, and I follow her instructions to lie down on my back where she previously was. I love this about our relationship: we always take turns, share equal gifts and both get what we desire. From this angle, her derrière looks more inviting than ever. My hand lands on her butt cheek with a smack and Bridget turns around in utter surprise. She narrows her eyes to compete with mine, and doesn't look away while positioning herself on top of me on the sofa. She then removes my boxers and seems to hesitate for a second.
"Do whatever you wish" I state, allowing her to tease me a little. She obeys and leans in to kiss me eagerly while one of her hands makes its way to my lower abdomen. A familiar feeling builds up in my stomach the more her whole body moves against mine, soon getting so powerful that I have to hold on to her waist. Just when it's increasing in intensity, Bridget suggests a change of plans:
"Taehyung," she pulls away from my face and straightens her back to sit on my legs. Something on the floor caught her attention. "Have you ever been blindfolded?"
I shake my head no. "Have you?"
"Yes," her eyes seem to twinkle at the memory. "It makes it ten times better. When one of your senses is shut down, the others intensify. You don't know what to expect, your mind opens up to every possibility, your body loves the surprise, your skin allows you to feel more alive than ever... Wanna try?" She seems enthusiastic about it, this light in her eyes convinces me without further ado.
"For scientific purposes only" I joke about it, but I'm actually shocked to see that she somehow guessed one of the things I've always wanted to try. Even though I love the rush I get when I watch her, no matter what she does to me or I to her, it's clear why a blindfold would amplify every sensation. I didn't know it was a hidden desire of mine until she brought it up and described it to me.
"Are you sure? One of your top results in that test we took was voyeur, so maybe you don't like the idea of your sight being limited."
"I also got a high percentage of experimentalist, so yes, I'm sure."
Voyeurism is a wide term that generally describes the desire to watch people have sex with or without their consent. I would never spy on someone else, I just like to look at my partner's body react to whatever I do to them. Or if they agree to touch themselves while I observe, maybe do a little roleplay, that's awesome, too. Eye contact is essential to fuel this fantasy, but so is consent to me. If I hid and watched a sexual act, I'd be buried in my own sense of guilt for eternity and wouldn't get any pleasure whatsoever. Unless it was all scripted.
"Is it so obvious that we study in the scientific field?" Bridget laughs while she stretches an arm out to take the scarf she threw to the ground earlier while undressing.
She instructs me to sit up while taking the spot behind me. Our clothes lying on the living room carpet are the last thing I see before my whole world goes black. Bridget doesn't waste any time spoiling my neck with occasional kisses, not even while she's tying the scarf around my head. She's already overwhelming my body with sensations from all sides: her lips are attached to my neck, her half-naked bosom is brushing against my bare back, both of her hands are exploring different parts of me that don't fail to make my knees weak. Her fingers slide down from my shoulders to my groin, where they find their home for as long as she needs for me to grow more aroused than ever. I let out needy growls as she teases me with slow strokes. I'm dizzy because of the overload of pleasure I'm feeling, but the best is yet to come. After detaching her lips from my neck, where she must've left some marks, she lays me down on the sofa once again, guiding me to prevent me from hurting myself.
She was right: unpredictability means your body is ready to react to each stimulus it receives, and buzzes at the idea of the unknown. I can't help but hold my breath as my brain imagines what comes next. Bridget gets into the same position I was in just a few minutes ago, lowering her face between my legs. I feel her breath on my skin first, then comes the warmth of her mouth, and that's when my head falls back as a wave of pleasure possesses me. I'm at her mercy, and yet have never felt more empowered. All my senses are heightened to the point where I'm aware of everything that's happening to me. I have trouble controlling my voice, it's impossible to articulate any word, let alone Bridget's name. I concentrate on feeling every touch of hers instead, every change in the way she moves her tongue. As much as I would love to watch her from this perspective, not knowing what to expect makes the experience more intense.
"Christ, that piercing..." I hiss, finally building a sentence to express what goes on in my head. The metal jewel on her tongue is definitely a bonus and I'm not complaining, ever. I may not see her, but I can tell she's smirking, well aware of the effect her piercing is having on me. She knows how to combine the movement of her mouth and her hands to leave me breathless. I let her take care of me without interfering with her actions. My nails dig into the soft cushion I'm lying on while my back arches to better enjoy the warm embrace of Bridget's mouth. I have to admit that she wasn't wrong about teasing. It does feel good. Maybe I should've let her do that the first time we met. She was right about blindfolding, too, the only difference is that I never doubted this one.
When she's taken me to the highest level of ecstasy and has tasted the results of it, we both collapse on the sofa, sweaty and out of breath, and I remove her scarf from my eyes. We're sitting on the opposite ends of it, too busy regaining control of ourselves to speak. It was heavenly while it lasted. She took my mind off any trouble I had, but now the reason why I was so sad and called Bridget is all coming back to me. She gives me a concerned look as she sits up and wears her white shirt without buttoning it up. At last, she adjusts her underwear. For a mere second my gaze drops on her hips and my mind goes blank once again. Her fingers delicately trace the outline of her lingerie, she pulls it up a little, then rests her hands on her thighs.
"Do you want to tell me what's wrong, Tae?" She's never used this nickname with me before. I appreciate her getting comfortable around me. I can't give her an answer straight away, though. Instead, I sit up and my gaze drops to my hands. She gives me space and stays silent while I attempt to get my shit together and build one coherent sentence. I wish she could hug me right now, maybe she's not that comfortable around me yet. I mean, we got physical a few times, but hugs are on a different level of intimacy. She starts fidgeting with her rings and patiently waits until I'm ready to speak. I take a deep breath and open my mouth, and yet nothing comes out.
Next thing I know, I'm squeezing her small body in a tight hug. She has to hold on to the fabric of the sofa in order not to lose her balance, and I feel bad for quite literally throwing myself into her arms. After the initial surprise, she hugs me back and strokes my head to calm me down. Despite having no idea why I broke down all of a sudden, she still respects my silence. She's used to the confident, arrogant and laid-back part of me, this must be new to her. I wish I had the strength to tell her that I only show my weaknesses to the ones I care about. She's a good person, I have trust in her, which is why I let my guard down with her even though we met a month ago. I sniffle a couple times and shed a tear on her shoulder. She holds me tighter and I suffocate a sob, then finally allow myself to cry when I bury my face in the crook of her neck.
"Yeontan is ill" I manage to say in a whisper. "I can't stand to see him suffer."
I'm trying my best not to wail in front of her. She may be a good listener, but I don't want to make her ears bleed. Yeontan has become a big part of my life in so little time. When we adopted him, the doctors told us about his fragile health, and I was ready to do all that I could to assure him of proper care and a beautiful life filled with joy and serenity. Now his conditions seem to be worsening, his already weak body threatens not to function properly anymore, and my heart is slowly breaking into a million pieces. Every time I look at him, I fear it might be the last moment I spend with him.
"I'm sure you're doing everything in your power to take good care of him," Bridget tells me in a soft voice. "It won't be all in vain."
"I hope so."
I finally let go of her, but her hand remains on my head and slowly slides down to cup my cheek and wipe my tears away with her thumb. I must look like a complete mess right now. My sobs probably got Bridget emotional as well. Her eyes watered, and seeing that I almost made her cry threatens to break me even more.
"I just pray he'll get better soon" I sniffle. He's at my parents' house at the moment. They're home all day, whereas I am busy with university and the gym. Not seeing him around is both devastating and relieving, because I can't cuddle with him every time I want, but I also don't start crying as soon as I look at him.
"I believe the doctors will find a way to treat him," Bridget's voice is coming out a little shaky now. "Keep me updated if you don't mind it. And I'll always be here to listen if you want to talk it out again."
"Thank you," I genuinely say. "I mean it."
"I know you do." She flashes me the most comforting smile and I can't help but mirror it. "Now go wash your face and just breathe, okay?"
I nod and do as she suggested. It's hard to look at the mess I am in the mirror. I let the cold water wash away the salty taste of my tears, although I wish it could just cleanse my brain from any painful memory of Yeontan suffering this way. After wiping my face and avoiding glancing at the mirror for the second time, I text my parents to know if he's okay. I need to be updated on his conditions, no matter the hurt it may cause me.
A few deep breaths and I'm ready to go back to Bridget. When I step into the living room, I find her in the same spot as before as if she hasn't even moved. She's still half-dressed, her jeans are still on the floor, nothing has changed except the marks I've left on her thighs that are turning a dark shade of pink now. I'm about to ask her if she's uncomfortable with me leaving evidence of our intercourse on her, but she's too focused on her phone now. As she notices me, her head shoots up.
"Are you feeling any better?"
"Yeah, just a little" I shrug. "What's the matter?" I refer to her furrowed eyebrows and her foot nervously tapping on the floor.
"Uh," she inhales deeply, choosing her words with care. "Do you happen to know Namjoon, Jungkook and Jimin?"
"Uh, they happen to be my best friends since high school, yes" I use the same tone as her to mock her a little bit.
"Oh, great..." she scratches the back of her head, making her reaction seem more nervous than she wants it to be. "I was wondering... would you wanna join us if we were to hang out all together? And by all, I mean your friends, me, Céline, Ayame and her boyfriend Hyunjin, who knows Jimin." I remember she mentioned Ayame and this other exchange student named Céline when she spoke about her first day of university and how she met them and Namjoon. I can't say I know Ayame and Hyunjin that well, but I should be able to recognise them if I see them around. Jimin has talked about Hyunjin on rare occasions.
"Yeah, sounds good to me" I shrug. I don't mind getting to know new people, or even some people I'm already familiar with. Bridget begins typing a reply to her friend and I look for my own mobile to check for incoming messages. Jimin's name is in bold characters, meaning he has indeed texted me. The first message I read hasn't been sent to me personally, but to the group chat that he, Namjoon, Jungkook and I have. He's asking us to hang out at DanBam next weekend with Ayame, Hyunjin and Céline, basically the same kind of message Bridget has just received, only from a different person. I don't even blink before giving my answer, which can't be but a yes.
Jimin's private message to me states: "One of the girls seems like the perfect match for you, just saying." He surely can't be talking about Ayame, and as for Céline, I have no clue what she's like. I wonder whether he's referring to Bridget. If he only knew Bridget is here beside me and has been both under me and on top of me just ten minutes ago...
"Jimin asked the same thing in the group chat," I announce. "Told him I'll come."
"Perfect. I'm glad you'll be there, too" she beams.
I mirror her smile before turning serious all of a sudden. "Promise I won't make things awkward, and I won't say anything if you don't want anyone to know about us." I don't usually go around bragging about my sex life, so I'm reassuring Bridget on that matter.
"I wasn't scared of that." As if to prove my point and admit she just lied straight to my face, she curses under her breath as soon as her gaze falls upon her screen.
"Shit..."
It's hard to contain laughter at her reaction. "What now?" Bridget turns her phone to me so I can see the text she sent Ayame.
From: Ayame
I don't know if Taehyung - the friend they've mentioned - is joining us, too. Jimin will let Hyunjin know how many of his friends are actually down for it.
From: Bridget
Sure!
And as for Taehyung, he already said he'll be there
From: Ayame
How do you know?
I almost roll my eyes at her in disbelief. "You weren't scared of that, huh?"
"I'm not!" she defends herself. "I know you wouldn't purposely make it awkward, but this is different, she asked like she could sense something's up."
"Relax, tell her we were texting each other regarding some notes for Genetics and the topic just came up."
"You're like an excuse factory, how can you make them up right on the spot?"
I shrug as if the honest answer to her question weren't all that painful. She doesn't have to know how many times I lied to my parents and hid my true self from them, scared of their reaction. Yeontan at this point is probably the only one who witnessed everything, from the nights I've cried myself to sleep because of a boy, to the days I pretended not to hear the comments they made on a same-gender couple kissing.
"Force of habit."