I woke up the next morning with arms draped around me. I was in a state of early morning delirium where everything heard or seen felt like a dream. I thought that our kisses were a dream, the way he touched me and held me in my bed felt like a dream.
I felt heavy arms draped over my waist as I slept on my side. I turned around and laid so I could stare at Harry. His eyes fluttered open at my movement and I bit back an obnoxious grin.
"Morning," I said groggily. All Harry did was smile a tired smile and then turned to look up at the ceiling. I furrowed my eyebrows together and set my chin on his chest. I untucked my arm from under the duvet and poked his chest. He looked back at me and his fingers danced on my skin under my t-shirt.
"Are you OK?" I asked. I situated myself so I was eye level with him. I leaned my head on my hand as the other traced his tattoos on his chest and abdomen.
"I am," he whispered and smiled. I leaned in and waited for him to react, which he leaned in the rest of the way and pressed our lips together gently. I wasn't sure if he would want to kiss me again, but I took the chance and the reward was pleasurable.
He pulled me onto his half nake body and wrapped his arms around my torso under my shirt. Our naked legs intertwined and moments from the night before flashed through my head. Harry knew what the hell he was doing.
"Want something to eat?" I asked and rolled off of him. He winked at me and I just rolled my eyes to try and subside the blush that immediately warmed my cheeks. He followed behind me in just his underwear and I nearly fainted. I didn't get quite the same view the night before as I had just standing in my kitchen like that. Harry started to look flustered and his eyes glanced over to Belle who was whining in her crate.
"I'll take her out," he offered.
I smiled gratefully and pulled open my freezer. I chuckled and pulled out frozen waffles yet again. As he got dressed into his clothes from the night before, I yelled, "I hope frozen waffles are OK!"
"Perfect," he said as he walked by me and to Belle. He and Belle ran over to the door, not without Belle running by me and giving me a lick on my calf. Once he shut the door behind them, I lightly touched my lips with my fingertips and grinned, yet again. I knew I had little time to waste between breakfast and when I'd have to get ready for work, but I took that moment to reminisce and feel.
The room got a bit stuffy so I went over to the window to open it after putting a couple waffles in the toaster and water in the kettle. The breeze carried in the fresh air and waved the sheer curtains lightly. I had a few pieces of hair tickle my neck as it blew by me. I peered down to the park and saw Harry playing with Belle. She was jumping around and barking at him and he was laughing. I could practically hear it in my head. The beautiful sound of his laugh.
I went back to the toaster and pulled out the done waffles and tossed them onto a plate. I put a couple more in and then poured hot water into a couple mugs. I steep a couple tea bags and then set out the cream and sugar that I recently purchased so I didn't lie when I offered it. I set the mugs down at the table, grabbed the newly toasted waffles from the toaster, and set the plates on the table.
I heard the food open and Belle came bounding in. I smiled at Belle and sat down in front of a plate and took a sip of my tea.
"Let's eat, H. I'm hungry!" I whined. 'H' sort of fell out and it felt good to say. I brought one of my knees up to my chest as I took another sip of my tea. Harry didn't move and I furrowed my brows.
"You OK, Harry? Come eat," I insisted and picked up my fork.
Harry didn't even toe off his shoes before striding over to me and grabbed either side of my face to kiss me. I kissed back, of course, but still I'm sure he felt the surprise.
He pulled away and set his forehead against mine. I looked up and smirked. "Couldn't wait?" I asked and chuckled. Harry shook his head and pecked my lips again. He eventually stepped to his chair and sat down. I peeked down to his large feet that were still in his boots.
He just took a bite of his waffles and he followed my eyeline. He looked back up to me sheepishly and set his fork down. He slipped them off and brought them back to the front door. He came back and sat down. "Sorry," he mumbled with a piece of waffle still in his mouth.
"Is it alright? Sorry it's not much. I didn't feel like poisoning you," I joked. I sipped on my tea and kept an eye on the time. I had to get ready for work soon.
"Who says you aren't poisoning me?" Harry teased and fake choked. I laughed at his cheerful mood. I kept laughing as Harry kept "choking" which caused Belle to come running over to Harry's rescue.
"It's OK, Belly," Harry said in a sweet voice. He smiled as he scratched under her chin. "I'm gonna miss her this weekend."
I bit my lip, hesitant to ask. "Will you miss me?"
Harry looked up immediately, his smile changing to a smirk. "Not a bit," he said and I chuckled. I lightly kicked his knee and we continued eating. I realized I had a bit of time left before I needed to get ready for work and I had hoped Harry would hang while I did.
"Stay while I get ready for work?" I asked and grabbed his empty place and brought them to the sink. I spun around and leaned against the counter. He followed me and placed a hand on either side of me but frowned.
"I actually have to get ready to head to work, too," he said quickly. With a pang of hurt, I watched as he walked towards the bedroom after kissing my cheek. He checked to make sure nothing was left in the bedroom and then came out to say goodbye to Belle.
I was hoping he'd stick around long enough so we could nonchalantly talk about the night prior while I got ready. I made my way to the door of the bathroom and leaned on the frame. I crossed my arms and watched as he slipped on his shoes and lightweight jacket. He walked over to me, taking big steps so there were less steps with his boots on.
"I'll come see you Sunday?" He offered. He reached out for my hand and rubbed his thumb against my knuckles. I stared at him and his eyes moved quickly between mine to gauge my reaction to his touch. "I'm sorry I can't stay," he added.
"Hey, I get it," I said softly. I sighed regardless though. I just wanted to talk to him about the night prior, about the moments we had. The way that we saw each other being way more than just friends.
"I'll miss you," Harry whispered and took a step closer to me, his chest hitting mine as I breathed deeply. He kissed my forehead gently and lingered there.
"Sunday," I said and smiled up at him. He leant his head down and kissed me softly. They felt like feathers. I kissed back, longing for the day to not go the way it has to. Longing for us both to not work and stay here in bed all day.
"'Til then, H."
"Sunday," Harry repeated. He kissed me once more before rubbing my cheek with his thumb and I suddenly caught his eyes. They looked sad. And almost empty? He walked out and I got ready for the day, the tingling of his touches still lingering all over my body.
**
I made my way back home and ventured into my apartment. I took Belle out to do her business quickly before we made our way back up and I went over my checklist of items one more time for the weekend. I knew I wasn't going to be far, but this would be the longest I'd travel with Belle for the first time. I was getting a few last minute toiletries packed and then zipped up my bag. I changed into the outfit I had planned for the night; leggings and a baggy t-shirt. I dropped my duffle next to the door, grabbed Belle's crate, and leashed Belle. I somehow was able to carry my duffle, the crate, my purse, and hold onto Belle's leash all of the way to the lobby and to my car.
I was getting Belle situated when my phone ran and it was Lydia.
"Hey, bitch," I said and an older woman tutted at me as she walked by. I laughed and continued. "What's up?"
"Get reprimanded for cussing?" Lydia asked. I could hear the smirk on her lips.
"You know me, the devil herself," I said and emphasized my words a bit as another older woman passed by.
"Maybe it's your looks, too edgy," Lydia joked and I nearly choked on my spit. I sat down in the driver's seat and sat idle for a minute while on the phone with Lydia. Belle was panting and her whole butt was wiggling with her tail wags.
"I would have to agree," I said. I missed Lydia and I was so excited to be going to see her. Humans are creatures of habit and pack animals, in my opinion. We are meant to be around people and follow the same routine and habits.
I was excited to tell Lydia about the kiss I shared with Harry and the remainder of the evening. I wanted to tell her about how hot he was and how he definitely knew what he was doing. I felt a shiver run up my spine as I thought about his hands running over my body and his lips kissing everywhere he could.
"I have to-" I began to speak but suddenly there was a beep in my ear. Harry's name flashed on my screen and some type of feeling flooded my stomach. It felt like something could have been wrong but I pushed that feeling aside. I didn't want to jump to any conclusion. I bit my lip but just as soon as I was going to answer, the beeping stopped.
"Opal?" Lydia called my name.
"Yeah, um - I have to tell you-" I started again, but his name appeared again on my screen. "Hey, Lyd, I gotta go."
"Everything OK?" She asked and I heard the worry in her voice. The beeping stopped quickly and I furrowed my brows. I sighed and told her everything was good and to keep talking. I started my car and pulled away, Lydia on speaker. We chatted for only a minute more when the beeping started for a third time. I told Lydia I would text her when I was close.
"Hello?" I answered. "Missed me?"
"Is this Opal?" A deep, semi-familiar voice asked. I couldn't pinpoint why I recognized the voice, though.
"This is she. Where's Harry?" I asked, worry filling my chest. I pulled onto the road that I would take to get back to Lydia's
"He, um- This is Will, from the gym," he said. I heard a loud thud in the background and I felt panic rush through me.
"What's going on?" I asked Will and stopped at a stop sign. I checked my rearview mirror periodically to make sure there wasn't a car coming up behind me. I waited there for Will to answer.
"Can you come to Harry's? Please, he's asking for you," Will hurried out, his voice matching the panic I was feeling.
"What's wrong? What happened?" I asked quickly, staring out my mirror now. I peeked back at Belle who was staring at me patiently.
"Harry was supposed to come to work but never showed up this morning. I tried to reach him but he didn't answer. Then when I finally could get away from the gym, I came to check up on him. I'm not sure- Opal, you're all he's got," Will mumbled. I nodded even though he couldn't see me. I muttered for him to send Harry's address and I hung up and waited for the address to come through. I immediately put the address in and sped to Harry's.
**
[Harry's POV]
By the time I left Opal's, I was nearly ready to fall to pieces. The two times she called me 'H' had an overwhelming amount of memories flooding in about Her. She used to call me 'H' all of the time. I never thought I'd hear it again in such a sweet, calming voice. When Opal called me 'H' for the first time in her apartment, I had to do something. But my body had me frozen at her door like a statue. Once my mind caught up with me, I was already moving towards her and grabbing her cheeks to kiss her.
God, kissing Opal. I had wanted to kiss Opal since the moment I met her and all I could think about was kissing her again and again and again. Once I felt her kiss me back, I was in for it. I had to use all of the will power I had to not have sex with her and keep it to what we did, but I still craved how she tasted and felt. I needed more of it.
I spiraled when I got home. It would have been my anniversary with Her and I nearly forgot about it. I'd usually remember the minute I woke up but waking up next to Opal made me forget it all. I sat and stared at the papers covering the wall above my desk in my living room. I felt the pain overcome and I nearly screamed.
It was only 10 o'clock in the morning when I finally caved and swigged the bottle of vodka I had hidden at the top of one of my kitchen cabinets. I nursed that bottle of vodka all day, thinking about how all I wanted was Opal yet I would never let her see me like this.
"Harry, open the fucking door!" Will shouted from the other side of my front door. I didn't realize that the whole day was wasted away as I laid on my couch, stared at the papers, and drank vodka. I was supposed to work and never showed or called. It was about time Will showed up.
"What happened wasn't your fault, Harry! C'mon Harry, let me in," Will called again, continuing his knocking. He knew what happened with Her. I told him. I caved. I didn't want to, but it happened and some days I was thankful for it.
I just screamed. My voice shook the walls of my living room and hallway. My mind was stuck on two things; (1) She was dead and (2) I needed Opal.I threw my bottle across the room and it shattered against the wall. At that point, I heard the front door open and I remembered that Will had a key. He was just knocking as a last resort of snapping me out of it.
"No one can help me!" I yelled as Will walked in cautiously. My throat felt like it was shaking. I punched the wall repeatedly until my knuckles began to bleed. There was nothing else to hit that would have given me the satisfaction that I wanted, needed.
"Enough," Will said sternly and grabbed my wrists before I could do it again. I let myself collapse in his arms and he held me up. I dropped, my dead weight wanting to drop completely. Will slowly lowered me to the ground and I let him. I cradled like a baby on the ground as I heard Will start to talk to someone.
Even though I knew I would end up the way I did, I couldn't prevent it. It still happened. I would've thought I'd be able to stop the spiral, prevent it, but I couldn't. Opal was the only person to get even close because she nearly had be forgetting it would have been my anniversary with Her.
"Sara's dead..." I mumbled over and over again. "She's dead. I need Opal. Opal..." I screamed out and punched the wall again.
"What can I do, Harry? What do you need?" Will asked me, dropping to my level on the ground. He was much more calm and when I felt his hand land on my shoulder I immediately started to cry again. I pushed myself off the floor and kept muttering Opal's name.
I saw him pick up his phone and began to talk. I kept throwing things and punching the wall, one punch thudding harshly.
"...Then when I finally could get away from the gym, I came to check up on him. I'm not sure- Opal, you're all he's got," Will said.
He wasn't wrong. Opal was all I had and I was fine with it if she was all I ever got. Sarah was more than just some girl, but Opal was more than Sarah. I felt a pang of guilt rush over me at the thought and banged my head against the door of my bedroom that I locked myself in after walking up the stairs slowly and painfully.
Will watched as I did. He didn't dare offer to help. I knew that he would end up waiting in the living room for Opal to arrive. Waiting for Opal was painful. If she took any longer, I wasn't sure what I would have done.
Some time had passed and I was still locked in my bedroom. The entire house was quiet. I sat, staring at the wall of my bedroom, my hands gripping on to the back of my neck tightly. Just as I was about to give up on Opal coming, I heard Will walk around and open the front door. I heard some muffled conversation and steps coming up the stairs.
There were two short raps on the door and then the most calming voice followed.
"Harry, please open the door," Opal's calm voice echoed in my head. I pushed myself off the floor and turned around to open the door. There she stood in leggings, an oversized graphic t-shirt, her hair in a messy bun. She looked beautiful.
Without a word, she stepped towards me and placed her small hands on my cheeks. I hung my head and fluttered my eyes shut as she wiped away the tears that were nearly dry. I reached out to her and wrapped my arms so tightly around her, I was sure I was suffocating her. She wrapped her arms around my neck and shushed me softly.
"I'm here, Harry. I'm here," she whispered in my ear. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Please, don't."