I turn the shower off realizing that it isn't helping as much as I want it to.
Miles will be calling soon and people will be showing up for this business meeting and dinner. I'm not sure where I'm going to find the energy and confidence to do this but it has to come from somewhere. I was expecting to go into this meeting with a new sense of purpose and drive but the new information about Adriana and my grandparents seems to be screaming that little bit louder than the rest of the things in my head. I've taken painkillers to drown out the majority of the screaming and I was hoping that having a long shower will wash away the rest.
I want to talk to Miles about it, in fact I've convinced myself I need to talk to Miles about it but I have to wait for him to call me. I've made him lose enough sleep as it is and now that I know he keeps his phone on for me, I can't even email him.
As far as I know, there are only two people who can make sense of all this recent confusion. One is Miles and the other is Charlie.
At the moment though, the idea of seeing Charlie is out of the question. I'm hardly coping with the stuff Joe just told me and he didn't even know that much. How will I handle hearing everything? Whatever everything is.
What's the town butcher got to do with all of this anyway? How come he knows more than Joe and Taffy...then again, I haven't asked Taffy what she knows.
After dressing and drying my hair, I lay on the bed for a while; trying to find the enthusiasm I once had about this new experience. The ceiling doesn't seem to have the answers though. There's a light knock at my door.
"Yeah?" I mumble absently.
"Phone." Joe's voice says. "Your pommy friend."
I get up and open the door with a confused frown.
"I didn't hear it ring." I say, taking it from him.
"You were in the shower. We started chatting."
This makes me frown even more.
"About what?" I ask suspiciously. Joe raises a secretive eyebrow.
"People will be showing up soon so I'll just whack the jug on while he...sorts you out."
"Sorts me out?" I scoff with a smile, "Thanks."
I close the door again and smile into the phone.
"Hey."
"Hey. You okay?" he asks straight away. Great, straight into the impossibly kind tone. I flop on the bed again with a sigh.
"Yeah. How did you sleep?" I ask.
"Okay. There was rugby on last night so it was crowded and loud." There's a silence for a moment as I feel the headache come back. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asks again. I swallow hard and sigh.
"No, but...I feel that all I do to you is moan about my life."
"That's not true. You also torture me by making me think you're inviting stray men into your house." I laugh despite myself. "Joe told me what happened." He adds.
"About Eli or Adriana?"
"Adriana. Who's Eli?"
"The stranger who was at my doorstep. I told you about Joe's ex remarrying aye?"
"Mm."
"Well, unbeknown to him, she married a guy with a twenty year old son. He came all the way over here to apologize for everything that happened. Didn't arrive till late so I let him stay in the flat out back. He's a nice kid actually."
"Where is he going to stay while he's there?"
"Flat. He and the girls are cleaning it for me now. No machete or murderous weapons, don't worry...which reminds me, why did you think I was trying to make you jealous?"
There's a silence and he laughs a little.
"Nothing...don't worry."
"Miles..." I start suspiciously. He laughs again.
"It was nothing. I read your email wrong is all."
I raise an eyebrow, not convinced.
"Nina, stop looking at me like that..."
"Like what?" I scoff.
"Like that. Like you don't believe me."
"Well, I don't." I smile. Miles laughs again as I wonder why I haven't felt this good all day.
"So..." Miles starts but stops there.
"What?"
"What's wrong?"
"Oh," I frown as the screams start up again. I pull my pillow over and put it under my head. "Joe told you what's wrong."
"Mm but why are you panicking. It's a good thing isn't it?"
I sit up.
"Um...what story did you get?" I ask.
"No, come on Nina. Adriana was in contact with your grandparents and they set her up with cash. Isn't that a good thing? You were worried about her having nobody but she did. That's good. You were worried about getting her part of the grandparents inheritance, you didn't. This is a good thing."
"Yeah but...why didn't my grandparents tell me? Why didn't Adriana tell me she'd stopped the treatment? What did she do that turned my parents against her but got support from my grandparents?"
"Those questions will get answered." he says calmly. "Just focus on what you do know rather than what you don't. She had help. She had support. That's all you need to focus on now. If you keep trying to figure out all the other pieces, you'll drive yourself mad." I lie down again and stare at the ceiling in thought. I'm half expecting to be angry that he's right yet again, but I'm not. "Nina..." Miles voice starts again. "Still with me?"
I let out a breath and brush my fingers through my fringe.
"Yeah."
There's another small silence.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asks in a tone I haven't heard before. Almost like disappointment. I lay there uncomfortably for a moment, not quite sure what he's referring to.
"Tell you what?" I ask.
"About Adriana. You found out this morning right?"
"Yeah but you would have been in bed..."
"Nina..." he sighs, with a hint of frustration "the last time something happened with your family, you broke down and slept in the hallway. I just...I wished you'd let me call."
"And make you lose sleep?" I ask wondering if, for once I'm going to get an argument out of him.
"Yes." his voice has gone soft again and I sigh, sitting up. "I hardly sleep as it is, I'd rather be talking you out of the liquor cabinet than staring at the ceiling all night."
"No, you need to...Arrrrrgh! Miles, why can't we just have an argument for once without you being all nice!"
Miles laughs at this which isn't the response I was hoping for. For a split second I break into a smile but I wipe it off. "Why are you laughing? This isn't funny. You staring at the ceiling all night isn't funny and me having nobody to argue with isn't funny."
"Nina, I'm not going to argue with you over the phone. I'll argue with you the day I can be there to apologize straight after. We'll get nowhere yelling at each other over a minor lack of sleep."
"Minor!" I scoff but this gets ignored.
"All I was saying is that I wish you had called. If you had called, you wouldn't have had to spend all day cursing at gardening tools and crying when you trip over."
"Joe told you?" I ask in as harsh a tone as I can manage.
"Yes. He was worried and wished me luck at trying to get any sense out of you." I try not to laugh at this but do anyway. "I think he underestimates how much I know you." He says.
"I think I do sometimes." I mumble back with a sigh. "I can hear people arriving Miles, what do I do?"
"Greet them. Look, you may not be able to control what your parents did or didn't do or what did or didn't happen with your sister but this café thing you can control. You know this stuff. You're good at this. Yeah? You were excited about this. Don't lose that."
"Mmm" I shrug, sitting back up again and rub my face.
"Go be a boss. This is for Adriana remember. It's why you bought it."
I let out a sigh and stand up.
"Okay..." I stand in front of the mirror and tidy my hair, "I feel I need to pay you after these motivational speeches."
"The Scotch was enough. I'm just telling you things you already know. "
"Mm, I still feel bad for dragging you through it all."
"Don't be. Ready?" he asks.
"Uha." I nod, straightening myself up.
"Not in your pajama's?. . .buttons done up straight?"
I frown and head to the door, shaking my head.
"I'm so spitting in Joe's coffee again." I mumble as the chatter gets louder.
"Again?" Miles laughs. I smile and open the hallway door.
The dining room table is full and already everyone has their drinks and a cake has mysteriously appeared. Unfortunately it's not The Carrot Cake. Lauren is here with Alyssa and Joe. Taffy is sitting up straight looking very efficient and the mop-headed youth is here...I forget his name and he's sitting next to the unnamed brunette I met yesterday. Eli is sitting in the lounge flicking through a gardening book with interest so I get straight into it.
"Okay, I'm putting you on speaker now..." I say into the phone and push the button as I take my seat in between Taffy and Joe. "Hi everyone, sorry about the delay. Anything been talked about yet?"
"No, we were waiting for you and your . . .phone friend." Taffy says.
"Phone friend...okay. Everyone this is Miles Ermington Hamilton." I gesture to the phone. "He's worked in bars and cafe's all over the place and I thought he might be of use to us."
"Hi Miles!" Lauren and Alyssa call out happily.
"Uh, hi." he replies.
"It's weird talking to a phone." Lauren says, shaking her head.
"Not necessarily. It's kind of like Charlie's Angels." Alyssa says back.
"But Miles has an English accent so it doesn't work and he doesn't sound like an old man."
"Suppose." Alyssa frowns.
"Maybe if we knew what he looked like."
"Well I have some photos of him..." I start.
"What?" I hear Miles ask.
"They're not very good quality though. They're taken from the café over the road from where he works."
"Nice try." Miles chuckles. I smile, quite proud of myself.
"To business then..." I start.
"No wait! what does he look like?" Alyssa asks. "Black? White? Blue eyes? Brown eyes?"
"What she means is..." the unnamed brunette cuts in, "is he hot?"
I laugh.
"Ask me when I've had a glass of bourbon. I'll be needing one after this meeting..."
"You'll be needing one?" Miles mumbles.
"Okay." I sigh, "he's blondish, blue eyed, white and..." I gesture the a-okay sign. There's a mumble of interest.
"And what?" Miles asks. I smile.
"And we must now get on to business." I say, enjoying this a lot more than I should. "Does anyone mind if I start?" I ask.
Everyone shakes their head.
"Good, so firstly..." I turn to Joe and clip the back of his head. "And secondly . . ."
"What was that for?" Joe asks appalled. I turn to him and give him a steely gaze.
"We had an agreement about the pajama's. You broke it." Is all I say. He smiles and looks down.
"Secondly, I have a proposition to run by Taffy and Lauren."
"Ooo, that's me!" Lauren chirps.
"Are you looking for work?" I ask her.
"Uhhh...sure." she says sounding anything but sure. I then look at Taffy.
"Who handles orders and suppliers?"
"Old boss."
"Am I right in guessing you need to be pretty straight when dealing with suppliers?"
"Yeah for some. Why?" I look at Lauren.
"Oh an actual job. I thought you'd want me to sit outside the shop looking pathetic and handing out leaflets or something."
"No. We need someone on the phone who's nice but can be hard when push comes to shove." I then look at Taffy. "I think Lauren should do it. She came with me when I had to buy a coffee machine and she was grilling the guy...seriously, if I'd left her in a room with him for another ten minutes, I could have walked out with Romeo for free."
"Who's Romeo?" Mop head asks.
"Don't ask." Both Miles and Joe say at the same time.
"Anyway, worth a shot?" I ask Taffy. She looks at Lauren.
"You think you're up to it?"
Lauren nods.
"Lemme at the mongrels."
Taffy smiles and writes it down in a very official looking folder.
"Next thing...what's your names?" I ask the brunette and the mop-head.
"Geordie" he says.
"That's right."
"Kristy." The now-named brunette says.
"Thanks. Anything else we need to discuss?"
"Chef." Taffy reminds me.
"Oh yeah, we should put an ad or something." I mumble in thought leaning back in thought.
"Don't advertise." Miles voice says.
"Why?"
"You'll be spending hours interviewing people who don't know how to cook. Ask around at the restaurants. They know where all the good chefs are. Besides, you're not looking for a cook; you're looking for someone who knows how to use the ingredients your trying to sell. Other chefs know who's out of work or who can't work nights and it will save you having to go through mountains of people who don't know what they're doing."
I look at Taffy and she shrugs.
"He has a point. It will save us advertising money."
"Might get our name out there too among the foodie community." I muse out loud.
"We should try down at the Kingston." Kristy says. "a friend of mine is a waitress there and she said they were looking for a chef a while ago and they'd help. Apparently they're really nice owners and they're very community oriented. They own the community kitchen next door to it."
"Good food too." Joe joins in.
"Yeah? Right, we'll start there then. What else?"
"Loyalty cards." Joe grunts.
"Waste of time." Miles voice pipes up again. I smile, feeling strangely proud of him and that it was my idea to invite him into this meeting. "The majority of loyalty cards get forgotten about at the bottom of peoples bags."
"Yeah but..." Alyssa sighs, "We do get a lot of loyal customers." Again, Miles seems to have a rebuttal.
"They work well for franchise coffee shops but the amount you print and hand out compared to the people who will regularly use them isn't worth it. you're better off having a discount day overall. For example, if your slowest day is a Tuesday, have coffee a dollar cheaper on that day. Everyone winds up benefiting in the end."
"It's a good idea." Taffy nods "Most our customers are regulars anyway cos we get all the industrial workers around us come in."
"Would you be happy with that?" I ask Joe. He shrugs.
"Itd make me show up on a Teusday."
"The shop is in an industrial area, yeah?" Miles asks.
"Yeah. Semi industrial."
"I worked in a café in Ireland once that was nowhere near where people usually went for coffee but they did a loyalty tag for the businesses down the street. Every shop down there had a card and they'd all get a discount when they get coffee for their workmates."
I look at Joe.
"So...what?" Joe asks, "You just take the card in, get peoples coffees and get a discount...just for being on the same street?"
"Pretty much." Miles says. "Worked like a charm too. They'd get 15% off every time."
"That's a lot." Taffy frowns.
"Not when you get bargains from the other businesses. Our plumbing went one day, we called the plumbers down the road and they showed us the same courtesy we showed them. We had cheap accountants and dry cleaners. Paid off in the end." I glance at Taffy to see her looking a bit more convinced. Again, I smile feeling rather excited about this again.
The meeting took a further half an hour where we discussed pay, holiday time and new idea's for lunches. Miles was a fountain of information and left us with a lot of idea's to contemplate.
After the meeting finished, I pulled out a bottle of wine and let them at it while I finished up with Miles or 'Oh Wise and Mysterious One' as the girls have christened him.
"Thank you so much Miles. You were of even more use than I thought you'd be."
"Was there an insult in there?" he asks.
"No. I mean it. You were amazing. You're ideas are going to save us a lot of time and money so thank you. Really."
"You weren't bad yourself. How did it feel to take control of something again?"
I look down and smile.
"Good. I feel a lot better."
"I'm glad. I better let you go. I have to go to work in about . . .half an hour ago."
"Right. Don't talk to any strange ladies and thanks again."
"You're welcome, and Nina?"
"Mmm?"
"Tell me the next time something comes up okay?"
"Sure." I scoff.
"Nina, please."
"Begging won't work...arguing might." I smile.
"I'm not arguing with you."
"Fine. Thanks again."
"Bye Nina." he says with a laugh before hanging up. I chuckle again wondering why it is that I always linger over the phone after I talk to him.
***
In the kitchen, Joe is pretending to be busy with something while everyone else chats and laughs loudly over drinks. If I'd known I was going to be this shattered, I wouldn't have planned for everyone to stay for dinner. It's taking every ounce of self control to ignore the call from my pillow right now.
As I make my fourth black coffee for the day, I can feel Joe's eyes on me. I try not to bite as he's actually been very nice. He hasn't once thrown wet dirt or leaves at me and he made two of those aforementioned coffee's. I also realize that Joe putting his hand on my arm as he did this morning isn't something that Joe would generally do unless he really felt the situation called for it.
This still doesn't explain why he's looking at me so curiously.
"What did he say?" he eventually asks wiping his hands on a tea-towel. I look over my shoulder at him.
"What?"
"Miles." he says, folding his arms and watching me. I hold the gaze, not knowing but afraid of where this is going.
"What about him?"
Joe leans against the sink.
"You've been moping around all day..." he looks up quickly. "Understandably; don't get me wrong. It was heavy stuff... but then you spend five minutes on the phone with him and you're fine. Smiling even." I look down myself, realizing he's right. "Yeah...that smile." he adds. I look up and wipe it off, running my fingers through my fringe.
"He knows his stuff." I say vaguely before turning away from him again.
"No kidding. I've been trying to distract you all day and he does it over the phone in a fraction of the time."
"Yes, but Miles was there at the beginning. He was there when I got the call about Adriana's death and he knows exactly how un-me I've been and how screwed up this whole thing has made me. I don't know what he says but... he kind of puts things in perspective for me. He's a good...good friend."
"Friend?" Joe asks doubtfully. I look at him again.
"Yes...friend. Nothing more. He's...he's...he's a good friend. He knows me better than anyone but we can't...it isn't any more than he's...Arrrrrgh! forget it. Do you want a coffee?" I ask. Joe laughs a bit and shrugs, heading over to his stool and sitting down.
"Sure."
I put another cup under the machine shaking my head. I can't believe how childish I'm acting over a few questions and I don't know why I feel so nervous talking about it. It's exactly as I said...he's a good friend.
Sure he is suspiciously perfect and freakishly talented at everything he's put his mind to but that doesn't change the fact that it's a waste of time considering being more than friends.
There is an age difference, a personality difference and a time difference. On what planet would Miles want to date an emotionally unstable old lady? How much more simply do I have to put it for these people?
"You know you sound like the girls when you press these matters with me?" I say to Joe with a smile. He smiles ever so slightly back.
"Curious is all." he says. "You're a good-looking woman...it's surprising there's not some kind of... you know?" he shrugs and finishes his thought there as I look at him a tad taken back.
"I'm sorry. Did I just get a compliment from you?" I ask. His eyes flick to me then back down and he gets off his stool.
"Just stating the obvious." he mumbles. "It's that obvious I'm good looking is it?" I ask not used to these kind of comments from people who are sober. Well I'm assuming he's sober. He shoots me a look.
"I mean about the guy on the...forget it. You're just trying to embarrass me." he mumbles.
"No. I was just flattered. You'd know if I was trying to embarrass you." I slide the coffee towards him and we both make our way out to the table bursting with food and drink.
"Hey, have all of you seen Joe's carving work?" I ask to the room. Most shake their head so I take the small table cloth off the drinks cabinet. "Really amazing stuff. Super talented guy. You should rave about it to him all night." I look at Joe who has his head down. "Now I'm trying to embarrass you. See the difference?" I ask. He laughs and shakes his head at me and heads in the opposite direction to the crowd of people. I smile.
That was part one of my plan to get him back for the celery. I may postpone part two but only because he was so nice to me today.
***
So much has happened today I don't really know what to think about. Miles told me I'm not allowed to think about this new stuff with Adriana though it has me curious.
Curious enough to maybe hunt through the house later for some letters or something but not curious enough to get the whole story from Charlie. I bite into a potato and continue staring blankly in front of me.
I've gone outside to eat my dinner, all of which was provided by the others which is good considering I can't actually cook.
I hear a whistle and fingers clicking making me snap out of my trance. I turn around seeing Eli sitting next to me. I smile and swallow the potato that's been in my mouth for way too long.
"Sorry, I was deep in thought about nothing."
"It's fine. I do that sometimes." he looks out over the garden as do I and there's a brief companionable silence. "Meeting go well do you think? Girls said this is a relatively new venture for you."
"Yeah. Different to real estate but it's good. About time I learnt something new. What about you? What were you studying before you came here?"
"Architecture. Same line of work as my father. I'm supposed to be doing my final year in a couple of months but...I don't know." he shrugs stabbing a piece of chicken with a fork.
"Are you good at it?"
"Uhh," he looks down going red at the question.
"No need to be modest about it. If you aren't who cares? If you are, be proud of it. I was good at real estate. One of the best."
"Oh, well, I'm top of the class. Was in the accounting class as well." he shrugs, stuffing the chicken in his mouth.
"Smarty pants then huh?" I smile "You don't enjoy it though?"
"Nar!" He finishes his mouthful waving his fork around a bit as he chews, "Especially lately. I was forced into the accountancy course for a year when I was 16 so I could do my dad's paperwork, then I went into Architecture which I did enjoy for a while but I think that was only compared to arguing with dad about where his money should be going, now I'm not too sure. It all seems very boring, you know? But that may just be because I'm young and have a short attention span...I'm sorry. I'm blabbering about my life again aren't I?"
"No, its fine." I smile sadly "Sounds freakishly like my life actually. My parents wanted me in the family business and I was advised against it so I went to a real estate firm to be a receptionist. My boss at that time was a nice guy who thought I'd make a good agent so he taught me everything he knew."
"And did you enjoy it?"
"Yes. I loved it. Making a empty house look like a home to others and looking at the joy on their faces when they'd bought it. I loved it. But then we got a new boss and it took over my life a bit without me realizing it."
"You didn't enjoy it any more?"
"I still enjoyed seeing the excitement on the buyers faces especially first timers but I know it all now so I suppose it got stale and repetitive...and my boss left and was replaced by a black-hearted scoundrel."
Eli laughs at this, pushing food around on his plate. Some maternal part of me is wanting to tell him to stop playing with his food but I stop myself.
"Yeah, I'm kind of hoping to be my own boss some day. I know accounting and book-keeping...I just don't know what line of work I want to get my finger in yet. Something that can mean I can get my hands dirty hopefully. That'll be more years of training though."
"Mm...you're only twenty though. You have a few more years to find a passion."
"Yeah true. This gardening thing will be cool. I'm actually really looking forward to getting into it. Never done that kind of thing before."
"You don't mind?" I ask, "I was a tad pushy about it."
"No, no, it's that, or I pay you and you won't let me pay you so this is good."
I smile and watch the clouds edges start to shine in highlighter pink. I can't believe I lived in London when this was going on here. I'm surprised anybody would want to move away from this.
"How long are you here for?" I decide to ask him.
"Um...I was hoping to stay a couple of weeks. Alyssa and Lauren are lots of fun and Joe seems nice so I'd like to get to know them a bit. Sucked growing up with no siblings so this is awesome."
"I hate you." I hear someone mumble behind me. I smile, knowing it will be Joe.
"Why? You're a very talented man and you deserve the praise and recognition."
He sits down on the other side of me with a beer in one hand and a plate of food in the other. He looks at me, cynically
"I may not know you as well as what's-his-face-pommy-guy but I know you didn't mean any of that as an act of kindness."
I smile a bit.
"It is amazing though." Eli says, leaning forward. Joe looks down.
"That'll get you nowhere sunshine." I say giving Eli a thump on the back and standing up. "I'm going inside. It's suddenly got chilly."
I walk off to give Eli and Joe some time to bond and go into my room to find something warmer to wear. This is when I saw the bed...and the pillow...and the duvet.
I don't remember much else after that.
***