*Two months ago*
Author: I know you aren't lying, because I can see your mind, but is this the only way?
134340: Yes, it is the only way to get somebody out of the Omniversal Void, but as I said, it is extremely...
Author: Extremely risky, dangerous and stupid, yes, I know. Ugh, I will think about this and if I bring 5205 back, then I will fulfill my part of the deal and take this curse away from you.
134340: Just... Be careful...
Author: I will be, don't worry...
*Two days later*
106: Author, take away that knife, you are going to hurt yourself and you know how dangerous this thing is!
Author: I know... But that's the only way... *Stabs his left leg with non-existance knife*
953: Author... Why...?
Author: ... I will bring him back, I promise. *Sends an erasion beam on the knife and erases it with himself*
106: God...
173: Fucking...
2662: DAMN IT!
239: Here goes the creator of this world... His family will be looking for him, how are we going to hide his disappearance?
5025: *Creates a clone of Author and sends it on his place* He will take his place and predend to be him, but this won't work forever, let's hope he will come back until they realise...
*Now*
106: It has been almost two months already and he still hasn't come back...
682-1: Wasn't he supposed to have powers over that void with this knife?
953: *Tries to communicate with Author with telepathic connection* It is pointless, he doesn't respond...
5025: ... Let's start the Ask and hope, people will understand what happened.
173: I don't think he could help us, Omniversal Void as Author said is almost impossible to escape, and barely anyone has any information about it. And I don't know why they call me peanut, probably because of my body shape.
053: Eh, it is okay.
105: Right now we own the most popular SCP channels, so yes, we do. Author also watched some of them in his universe, but he never said which ones.
239: ... Damn you Author, if he was able to help, then why did you decide to go alone?!
682-1: Yeah, it is too late now, the knife is permanently gone. But thanks for willing to help.
5025: Because 5205 is needed in the past, if we take him away, something terrible could happen. Even I don't like messing with the past, and messing with the past on Omniversal level is even more dangerous.
953: *Stays in one place shocked and keeps a hand on her head* Pain... Suffering... Struggle... Dangers... Defeated... Found him...
2662: What are you doing 953?
953: I have a connection with Author and I am saying what I got...
105: Pain, suffering, struggle, dangers, defeated, found him? What does it mean?
953: Coming... Soon... Prepare... Shield... What in the world?! *Sees a table which is glitching and starts glowing* Put a shield around it, NOW!
239, 5025 and Author?: *Make a shield around the spot, which barely survives a massive explosion*
239: Holy...
5025: Is that...?
Author and 5205: *Are standing in the place of explosion, with over half of Author's body being corrupted and 5205 completely exhausted*
2662: Impossible...
5205: I will be fine, better help Author, as he won't be able to survive much longer without help... *Falls on the floor*
049: *Puts Author on a table and starts operating him with help of 239, 5025 and Author?*
*Few hours later*
Author: *Lies on a bed with corruption completely gone from his body and 953 sitting on him in her fox form* My head...
953: Thank God you are alive, we were worried about you!
Author: I told you I would be fine...
953: FINE?! 60% OF YOUR BODY WAS CORRUPTED, YOU WERE GONE FOR ALMOST TWO MONTHS AND YOU SAID YOU WOULD BE FINE?! WE WERE SITTING IN FEAR EVERY DAY BECAUSE WE KNEW, THERE WAS A CHANCE YOU WOULDN'T COME BACK!
Author: Calm down...
953: I WON'T CALM DOWN! GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULDN'T TEAR YOUR LIVER AWAY FROM YOUR BODY AND SHOVE IT INTO YOUR OWN MOUTH FOR YOUR STUPIDITY?!
Author: ... Maybe because you know you don't want to do that?
953: ... Okay, fair point, sorry for screaming at you.
Author: It is okay, I kind of deserved that.
5205: *Enters the room* Author, we need to talk.
Author: ... You want to do exactly as you said in the void?
5205: Yes, I need a break.
Author: I... I cannot stop you... If you want to go to heaven and stay in there forever, then it is your choice, my friend...
5205: Not forever, but definitely for some time. I am just tired of everything, and now that Void... I REALLY need a break.
Author: It is okay... Did you at least help 134340?
5205: Of course I did.
Author: *Smiles* Then it was a pleasure working with you 5205.
5205: We will meet again one day, I promise. *Opens a portal and goes to heaven*
Author: ... At least he is safe now.
953: Do you want to continue the Ask without him?
Author: I have to, I am sure he would want me to do it.
Author: Okay, but just be sure... *Puts an anti-aphrodisiac shield around them and goes for a dinner*
105: Oh, we do actually. Not often, but from time to time we go and practice our skills.
106: *Gets flashbacks from videos about WW II because of the word "heil"*
5025: For me they are good as long as they are tasty.
Author: Yeah, Maths at university is a black magic, everything else is bearable.
953: It cannot be THAT bad Author...
Author: Oh? Then listen to this...
953: ... I think I messed up.
Author: Function "f" has a right-hand limit equal to "L" in a focus point equal to "a", when, and only when, for all sequences "Xn" which belong to the domain of the function, "Xn" greater than "a" and convergent to "a" where n approaches infinity, then limit from f(Xn) where n approaches infinity is equal to "L", when and only when for all epsilons greater than 0, exists gamma greater than zero, that for all X-es belonging to the domain of the function, distance between "a" and "x" in a Dx metrics is greater than "a" and less than gamma plus "a", then a distance between f(x) and "L" on a Dy metrics is less than epsilon.
953: ... What?
Cain: Oh, that definition? It is pretty easy, there are way worse.
106: Wait. Wait a fucking second. This was ONE definition?!
Author: Yes.
106: ... I think now I remember why I didn't study Maths when I was younger.
Clef: *Listens to the whisper* Alright, it will be fun.
953: You really want to torture him, don't you? *Kisses Author*
Author: Of course he wants to torture me, especially now, when I finally came back.
Bright: 953, my dear, dear kumiho, I am sorry, you are a kitsune... Please don't kill me, it was a dare...
953: ... Fine, I will show you mercy today.
Bright: Phew, thank you.
053: Thanks!
173: *Puts it on and goes to a mirror to check, how she looks* Hey, it fits me!
166: Thank you!
076 and 073: *Take photos, but they don't show it to each other*
682-1: *Grabs the umbrella and puts it over 053's head* I am fine with getting wet by rain, so I will use it to protect her.
999: Thanks, but thankfully I am surprisingly resistant to low and high temperatures.
079: Honestly? You gave me a perfect gift, because my previous printer was broken, so thank you.
Author: Luckily he is alright now, but I am not going to take the happiness away from him, even for a single day. My body hurts like hell though, so... I wish my body didn't hurt anymore. *Pain disappears*
106: After 24 hours you will be groaning in pain again...
Author: Screw that, at least it won't hurt that much.
5025: *Pulls out the van from a river*
Author: Okay, random people will answer this. First one, 999.
999: Honestly? I don't know, maybe some of the fanarts of me, which can be really... REALLY... eh... Can I just get amnestics to erase this image from my head?
173: I think it is too late already, sorry.
999: Damn it!
Author: Next one, 106.
106: I don't remember anymore, it was ages ago but I know it made her happy.
073: I can win it easily. And Author will answer the next one.
Author: Something I would never do again? Probably I will never try to take care of flowers again, the last time I tried it, they all died.
073: I don't know, it depends on how we define a cyborg.
Author: *Checks the profile* Which one though? You have more than one story in here.
106: Wait. We have our own "When day breaks" stories?
Author: Poland. I hope I don't have to explain why. And yes, I disliked spinach but I got used to it few years later.
073: Damn it, this won't end well...
*Few minutes later*
073, 106 and 2662: *Are the only ones who finished the challenge*
953: ... Are you kidding me?!
5025: ... *Opens a portal to a world with a 40 km track*
*Few hours later*
053: *Goes through the finish line and falls on the floor*
5025: *Snaps fingers and restores everyone's energy* I am NOT doing this again!
Author: Honestly? I don't know, I haven't played many horrors recently and I don't have my favourite one.
682-1: Gladly. *Takes a bite and gets hit by a ball* Hey!
Author: Have a good day too! *Dodges the ball and eliminates 682-1 from the game*
Author: Ah shit, here we go... *Gets thrown into a wardrobe with 953* Again...
*Seven minutes later*
5025: *Opens the door* Okay, you can leave now.
Author and 953: *Leave the wardrobe while smiling and looking at each other*
106: Why are you guys smiling? Did "something" happen in there?
Author: No, you will see the next dare and you will find out why.
106: ... Okay, this is the best dare I have seen in this Ask book! But who is choosing the punishment?
Author: We will choose it.
106: Okay, then let me start.
5025: Moment! *Puts a shield around everyone, which measures the speed they get hit with a tomato* Okay, you can start now.
106: Alright. What is the best thing about Switzerland? It's flag is definitely a big plus! *Gets hit by a tomato with a speed of 20 km/h*
049: Why do doctors wish actors to break their legs? Because every play has a cast! *Gets hit with a speed of 5 km/h*
035: Have you heard about the new restaurant called Karma? You cannot order in there, you get what you deserve! *Gets hit with a speed of 35 km/h*
166: Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space... *Doesn't get hit*
035: Pfff, not bad!
166: Thanks.
682-1: What is red and sounds like a carrot? Parrot. *Doesn't get hit* Easy!
2662: Recently my father was cutting Onion in the kitchen, and I was crying because of that. Onion was such a nice dog... *Gets hit with a speed of 729 km/h while everyone is laughing*
953: Okay, dark humour is allowed then. Is the shield around me?
5025: Yep.
953: Okay. Everyone says that dogs are cute, adorable and sweet. Okay, they might be sweet, but when they are sweet and sour they taste way better! *Shield gets hit with a speed of 1358 km/h*
053: Noo, the first joke was already terrible, but this one is even worse!
Author: *Tries to drink tea without laughing* I don't know what you are talking about it was good!
999: You guys have a terrible sense of humour...
953: More like dark one?
999: Still, it is terrible.
Everyone else but Author: *Says their joke, but doesn't exceed 953's joke's speed*
106: You are getting punished today little fox, and nothing will change that!
Author: I still have my joke to say, did you forget?
106: Yeah, sure, just say something normal and I can promise you, that you won't regret it.
953: Author, please! I will do whatever you want, just say something which will give you a higher speed than what I got!
Author: Hmmm ... ANYTHING I want, huh?
953: ...
Author: Okay, we have a deal. Don't worry, I won't ask for anything sexual.
953: Phew.
Author: Alright, the worst and most unfunny joke, here I come. What is it? Red and flat?
106: Red and flat? A red leaf?
Author: Nope, try again.
2662: A pool of blood?
Author: Closer... *Puts a shield around himself* A baby under an anvil...
*A loud explosion can be heard and when dust falls down, Author was thrown away with his shield through a wall*
035: Holy...
105: Wow...
5025: Seventeen...
173: Seventeen what?
5025: Seventeen thousand six hundred and eighty km/h... This joke was so bad, that all tomatoes jumped on him with this speed...
Author: *Slowly stands up, with his entire body in pain again* Ouch...
5025: Dude, you do realise we are going to choose a punishment for you, don't you?
Author: Screw that, your reaction to that joke was priceless. But I didn't expect that tomatoes will be THAT agressive.
5025: Well, as your punishment...
953: As a punishment, he is going to watch a kid's show which I choose for him.
Author: 953, no... Don't force me to do that!
953: We will watch it after the Ask, as I already know what to choose for you...
105: Oh, it was a pretty good game. They had to fix it a little bit, but after a huge patch one year after the premiere it became one of the best games ever.
173: *Hugs them back*
049: Okay, deal.
*One check-up later*
Author: So, what are the results?
049: You need a bit more iron in your blood and it wouldn't hurt to get some more vitamins. And everything else is okay.
682-1: Lamb. I don't know why, but it is just so good!
Author: It is okay, I brought him back already.
953: Yes, and also almost died because of corruption. It took 5025, your sister from another universe and 5205 almost five hours of healing magic to save you...
Author: Wait. Was it that bad?
953: Yes. Yes it was.
Author: ... Damn it, maybe I really was too risky...
682-1: I will tear you apart for that!
953: *Throws a big book at his head which explains differences between kumihos and kitsunes* Head shot!
682-1: These guys? GOC merged with Foundation many years ago, and CI doesn't exist anymore.
Bright: I didn't agree to that, but I do agree now!
682-1: Sure, thank you br... *Looks at the pizza* Wait. THIS IS A GODDAMN HAWAIIAN PIZZA! YOU WANTED TO GIVE ME FOOD POISONING!
682-2: *Tries it* It is not that bad actually!
682-1: ... No, thanks.
Bright: Thanks.
682-1: Cheese donut with fermented fish? Compared to this abomination, hawaiian pizza is normal ...
Author: So, are you going to try it?
682-1: No.
John: Disarm and send back to their cells, unless they are armed. Of course sometimes my people don't care, and just like that they almost killed 5205 when he was a D-class.
953: Now, it is time to torture you Author...
Author: God damnit... *Teleports them to an isolated room with a TV* Just, please, don't choose anyth...
953: *Plays "Happy Tree Friends"*
Author: This is... Acceptable... Thank you.