You were on your first date with Charlie Barber.
It was pretty ridiculous to think about the fact that although the two of you were head over heels in love and knew each other's bodies and minds like they were your own, you had never gone on an actual date.
Having to spend almost the entirety of your relationship in secret made it impossible to do what a normal couple would do.
You never exactly minded. Spending brief moments alone with Charlie in his office or when he'd sneak to your apartment at night was worth more than anything more traditional.
But you had to admit, being able to touch him in public and not have the anxiety of hiding away while you did so was a relief. Especially after everything that the two of you had been through recently.
"We need popcorn, right?" Charlie murmured near your ear, squeezing gently at your hand. "I know we're going to dinner after this, but I don't think I can sit through a movie without it. It feels wrong."
Tomorrow was your last day in LA and Charlie promised you that he would plan a date and take you out before you went back to New York. He chose a classic; the movies and dinner. He spent the morning buying the tickets and making reservations, feeling giddy at the idea he could go out with you.
"Popcorn." You agreed excitedly, your thumb ghosting over his skin in a way that made his heart skip a beat.
"That's my girl," Charlie said in a quiet voice, a goofy smile on his face as he walked to the concession counter with you.
Getting praise from him, sexual or not, always made you feel on top of the world.
At the start, Charlie was only your boss. You looked up to him and were in the process of working towards a position like the one he had. You always admired him, and hearing him say good things about you was reassuring.
Now that he was so much more than a boss, his compliments were not only validating, but they were also meaningful. You always felt so lucky that he loved you.
While ordering popcorn and a drink for each of you, Charlie made it a point not to let go of your hand. It was a struggle to pull his wallet and the correct card out with just one hand, but he made it work.
Charlie never wanted to let you go.
"Comfortable?" Charlie asked you as he settled into his seat.
He pressed the button on the arm and jumped slightly in surprise when his chair whirred to life and began reclining. "Jesus, that's loud." He mumbled and it caused you to laugh. He caught your amusement and it made him happy to see you smile, even if poking fun at him had been the cause of it.
"I'm comfy." You assured him, then reclined your chair in the same way, causing both of you to stifle your giggles at the intrusive sound of leather squeaking and the gears inside of the chair humming louder than the trailers playing on the screen.
"Shh," Charlie teased you as he chuckled, "So noisy, honey."
You grinned, elbowing him playfully just as he was putting a big handful of popcorn into his mouth. Your jostling caused him to drop some of it in his lap, a few pieces falling onto the floor.
"Hey!" He said in between laughs, tossing the remaining popcorn into his mouth while brushing the rest of it off of his lap and onto the floor. He'd have to remember to pick it up later. It drove him crazy when people left messes behind.
Before you could tell him it was an accident, someone from a few rows over loudly whispered: "Shh! Quiet down!" to you and Charlie.
Through the darkness of the movie beginning to play, you and Charlie locked wide eyes, processing the fact that someone just shushed the two of you. It felt like you had just gotten in trouble.
You two had spent so much time trying to go unnoticed as a couple that having someone tell you to be quiet had immediately scared you. You'd been caught.
Then as you both comprehended the fact that you hadn't been called out for an affair, just for laughing too loud during a movie, you both physically and mentally relaxed.
The realization just made the smiles form on both of your faces again, silent laughs leaving your body.
For the first time since knowing Charlie, he put an arm around your shoulders and pulled you close to his side, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. And for the first time, you leaned into his touch and whispered, "I love you," all while in a public setting.
This was how it should've been your entire relationship: Happy and carefree, the two of you feeling alone with each other in a crowded room.
A few hours later, when the movie was finished, the two of you were sitting across from each other at the restaurant that Charlie picked out. It was nice. Not too fancy, but it wasn't cliche or trying too hard, which had been his only requirement when deciding on one.
You were in a booth towards the back, something else that Charlie specifically requested for the two of you.
"Red or white?" Charlie asked you, flipping over the drink menu to see the wine list.
You shrugged, thinking about it. You realized that you didn't exactly have an opinion on wine. You usually just got whatever bottle looked pretty and was under twenty dollars. "You pick."
Charlie looked at you disapprovingly. "Red or white?" He repeated.
You chuckled softly, thinking about it. "Red, I guess?" You decided, unsure. "Seems more romantic, I think."
He stared at you for a moment with an expression that was hard to read. Affection, amusement, and slightly reflective. "It is, isn't it? I never considered it." He murmured to himself as the waiter made his way to the table.
Charlie ordered a bottle for the table, a moderate to higher-end priced red wine. He couldn't remember the last time he went to a restaurant and felt the desire to impress his date. He didn't think he'd gone on a date with Nicole in years before he met you, besides a forced double date with another couple.
"Thanks," You told him, trying your best not to glance at the price. You felt guilty that he was spending any money on you at all, considering his current situation.
Charlie smiled at that, touched that you were grateful. "You don't need to thank me, angel." He hummed, reaching a hand across the table to hold yours gently.
Butterflies spread throughout your body as you watched the way that he continued to run his thumb over the back of your hand while his eyes scanned his menu.
The lights in the restaurant were dim, with candles lit at each table to allow you to see what you were ordering and eating. Charlie was wearing one of your favorite shirts of his, a pale blue colored button-down. He even attempted to tame his slightly shaggy hair and put on a spray or two of cologne.
He was so handsome and he was yours.
You glanced around the room, seeing if anyone else noticed how gorgeous your boyfriend was and if they were as jealous of you as you would've been of them if the shoes were on the other foot.
When the waiter returned to the table with the wine, he uncorked the bottle and picked up one of the glasses. He poured a tiny bit into the cup and attempted to hand it to Charlie.
Charlie gave him a small chuckle and shook his head, motioning towards you. "That's up to her." He explained. Even though he wanted to enjoy it, ultimately, he wanted you to like it.
The waiter gave him an embarrassed smile. "My apologies." He mumbled before passing the glass over to you.
Your eyebrows raised, confused. You'd never ordered a bottle of wine before while out eating and didn't know this was the protocol. Your mouth parted in question as you took the wine glass.
Charlie could see your hesitation and gently squeezed your hand. "Taste it and decide if you want the rest of the bottle, honey." He explained in a soft tone. He would be lying if he said it wasn't adorable that you didn't know that was what was going on.
"Oh," You said sheepishly, giggling awkwardly, "Right."
You took a small sip, tasting it. You pretended to consider it as if you wouldn't tell the waiter that you wanted it, no matter how true or false that was. "I like it." You said, looking at Charlie as you said it.
Charlie squeezed your hand again and gave you a grin. He turned to the waiter. "It's perfect, thank you."
The waiter nodded and took the glass from your hand so he could pour an average amount of the wine in it before doing the same with Charlie's.
When he asked if the two of you were ready to order, Charlie gave you a little wink and nodded. "We are." He answered, ignoring how you tensed because you hadn't spent much time looking over the menu.
Before you had much time to panic over the fact that you hadn't decided on a meal, Charlie took the menu from your hands and ordered for you. Somehow he knew exactly what you wanted and what you would have picked if you had more time to view the options.
When the food order was secured, the waiter walked away.
Charlie gave you a sheepish look, somewhere between a frown and smile, his eyebrows raised. "I hope that was okay." He said cautiously. "I wasn't trying to decide for you, I just thought-"
You interrupted him with a smile. "I liked it."
Charlie relaxed and reached for his wine. "Good." He glanced at you as he took a sip.
After taking the drink, he glanced towards the window, watching the people crossing the street outside of it. He seemed happy, but he also seemed distracted, like he had something on his mind.
You would understand if he was thinking about the divorce or Henry or anything related to that. Charlie had a lot going on right now.
"The movie earlier made me cry." He said, laughing a little as he thought back to it, looking back over to you.
"I know," You said with a slight smirk. "We cried at the same part."
While you were watching the movie and a particularly sad part happened, you had been embarrassed by the way you were attempting to hide your sniffles. When you glanced over at Charlie and saw the way his lips were pouted and his eyes were watery as well, you were instantly comforted.
"Yeah?" Charlie grinned, elated.
He loved having all of these connections with you.
"Mhm," You giggled. "Why do you think I held your hand so hard?"
"I thought you just liked me." He said playfully, eyes twinkling.
"I do." You said simply, genuine regardless of the amused look on your face.
If someone were to walk by your table, they'd assume that one of you had just told the other a hilarious story or joke. But really, you two were just on cloud nine, enjoying each other's company.
The food that was served was incredible.
You spent most of the dinner attempting not to make jokes at the bug bites that Charlie was taking.
You realized that if you ever questioned your love for him, it would have been validated by the fact that even with his mouth full of food, you thought that he was the most handsome man in the world.
When the meal was over, the two of you decided to take a few moments to relax at the table, finishing the bottle of wine and basking in the feeling of being together.
At some point after the plates were taken away, Charlie got quiet.
Now that the food was gone and there was nothing else to occupy his thoughts, it was clear that he had a lot on his mind.
You watched as Charlie exhaled, his cheeks puffing out slightly as he did so, and leaned back in his seat, folding his hands in his lap. He stared down at the table in thought, watching the way that the candlelight flickered in the reflection of his wine glass.
"Did you eat too much?" You teased him. The worry was evident in your voice, even if there was a smile on your face.
Charlie couldn't help the short chuckle that escaped his chest. "Yes." He answered you, even though he knew that wasn't what you were exactly asking.
You said nothing, waiting for him to explain.
He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "There's something I want to do... Something I want to talk about." Charlie said, moving his hands to the table so that he could drum his fingertips against the surface.
Your nerves spiked, not expecting to receive this energy from him. "Okay."
Charlie took a deep breath and looked at you. He was working up the courage. "Being with you still doesn't seem real. I'm not sure if it ever will." He said, offering a thoughtful smile. "I've never been happier. Really, I didn't think I'd ever feel this happy again before I met you."
You swallowed hard and nodded, a hint of a happy expression forming on your face.
He was quiet for a brief moment, considering what to say next. "I can't imagine a life without you now that I have you. You've changed everything for the better. I feel like myself again."
Your heart began thumping quickly.
"I love you so much," Charlie said, locking eyes with you.
You felt like you could pass out at the predictions that ran through your mind:
Was Charlie proposing to you? Was he breaking up with you?
You blinked, glancing around, trying to see if he was reaching for a box in his pocket or if he was attempting to shuffle out of the booth to get on a knee.
Charlie cleared his throat, finding his bravery. Fuck it; he just had to say it:
"Honey, I want you to know that I'm moving here. To LA. By the end of the month."
Oh.
You straightened up in your seat, abandoning the idea that he was asking you to marry him. Thinking it through, you realized how stupid it would be for him even to consider a second marriage since he was still in one with Nicole. As much as you loved him, you knew that an engagement was the furthest thing from both of your minds.
Charlie was moving to Los Angeles.
He stayed silent as he took in your expression. His brows were furrowed together, knitted in the middle, and his eyes were wide.
It hadn't been easy for him to decide on. It hadn't even been easy to admit to you just now. Charlie felt like a monster for revealing to you that he would be moving across the country right when the two of you had finally gotten to a somewhat healthy place in your relationship.
But he didn't want the information to wait. He was going to look at apartments tomorrow morning and he didn't want to hide that from you when he did. Charlie had been upset when you didn't tell him you met with Nicole. He didn't want to keep you in the dark and make you feel the same.
"You are?" You asked, knowing the answer but just buying yourself more time to process it.
You were just getting comfortable in New York and your relationship. You weren't ready to have him leave.
The remainder of New York made you think about your internship. With him gone, what would happen with that? You were already paying for rent on the fumes of your savings. Without a babysitting job, you'd have to find full-time work somewhere else.
It would be doable, but considering it while also coming to terms with Charlie's being gone was just a little too much.
"Listen," Charlie said in a gentle tone, his hand encapsulating the entirety of yours. "I don't want to. I just don't have any other options." He said sadly, "If I stayed in New York, I would be lucky to see Henry a few times a year."
You exhaled and pulled your hand away from him, not out of anger but out of the need to stop the overwhelmed feeling you were experiencing right now.
Your relationship with Charlie had never been perfect; there was always something that you wanted more of or wanted to change. But the only comfort you had was that he was always there.
Regardless of how secretive you needed to be, you knew that when you went into work, you'd see him. And if you worked that night or that weekend babysitting, you'd see him there too.
There was never any panic that you would lose the feeling of being near him.
You couldn't imagine being in New York and not having that. Not having him.
Charlie frowned deeply as he watched you come to terms with what he just shared.
He gave you your time of silence, running his fingers over the base of the wine glass in front of him, fidgeting out of nerves and guilt.
It was hard for Charlie to imagine a life that didn't involve New York. Since moving there, it became a part of him. But more so, since he met you, nothing felt more like home than you did.
You tried to picture Charlie being so far away and dealing with all of this stress on his own. It broke your heart, but it was also hard for you to believe that your relationship wouldn't suffer.
You thought back to how much you missed him when he was visiting LA before you joined him. It had been okay to call him on the phone or text him throughout the day, but it wasn't the same.
Looking at his hands and his lips, you tried to think about not being able to experience either of those for months at a time, maybe more. It hurt.
"Sweetheart," Charlie hummed, attempting to get your attention and break you from the thoughts you were having and spiraling over. He felt terrible.
You nodded slightly to let him know that you could hear him.
Aware of the fact that you were in public, you put your elbows on the table and your head in your hands, shielding your face even if no one could see you from your booth in the back corner. Quietly, you let yourself cry.
"Oh, sweetheart," Charlie repeated, this time more sympathetic and soft. He reached forward and put a hand on your arm, wanting you to move your hands away so he could get a better look at you.
"I'm sorry," You mumbled, taking your hands away from your face. "I know this isn't easy on you either. I don't mean to get emotional."
"Don't apologize," He urged you. He glanced around and when he took in the fact that no one was paying attention, Charlie stood up and moved to your side of the booth, sitting beside you.
With him beside you, you instantly leaned into him, putting your head against his shoulder.
Charlie put his arm around you, holding you close to him. "Tell me what you're thinking." He said to you in a soft voice, his thumb rubbing gently on your arm in a gentle way.
You were thinking many things, too much to even say out loud. You stared down at his knee next to yours, how much closer to the table that he was because of how long his legs were.
"I support you in whatever you choose to do, especially if it means you'll be closer to Henry. It's just..." You trailed off, wiping your eyes. "It's not how I imagined our future and I'm sorry if that's selfish, but it does make me sad."
Charlie's heart sank. He felt the same way and the fact that you were level-headed about it made him almost feel worse. "I know. It makes me sad too." He responded in a low voice.
A few moments passed and Charlie brought a hand over to gently place a finger under your chin, willing you to look up at him. "Look at me," He said with a hint of a smile. When you did so, he looked into your eyes for a moment, noticing the tears.
You stared up at him, searching his expression. It was clear that he was just as sad as you were, but he was comforting you.
"I prefaced that with how much I love you because I wanted you to remember that. I'm moving away from New York, but I'm still with you. No matter where we are, I'll be there with you, even if I can't be physically." Charlie explained. "I don't want to end this."
You nodded slowly, feeling a weight off of your chest. You wondered if moving to LA would also mean that he wanted to break up, not wanting to deal with the added stress of a long-distance relationship.
He took a deep breath, staring down at the table for a moment before glancing back at you. This next part was something that he put a lot of thought into. He wasn't sure what your reaction would be.
"I don't expect you to or even to want to... But if you did want to come with me..." Charlie began saying slowly, almost sheepishly. "I wouldn't say no."
Your eyebrows shot up. You shifted in your seat so you could better look at him. "Come to LA? Like, move with you?"
The tears of sadness in your eyes were momentarily forgotten, replaced with the idea of starting a brand new life with Charlie and elated by the fact that he loved and trusted you enough to let you move in with him to a new place.
"I'd be so happy in a place that's warm all the time." You told him, the excitement clear on your face. "Imagine going to the beach and-" You were cut off by Charlie putting a gentle hand on your leg.
He didn't expect you to react so positively to that. Charlie knew you loved him but knowing that you were willing to uproot your life for him was an entirely different thing. It meant a lot to him.
"Honey," Charlie said with a hint of amusement. "That's not all."
You nodded, letting out an embarrassed chuckle.
"I assumed you'd want to stay in New York, so I set things up for you there," Charlie said, the slight smile returning. "You didn't think I'd just leave without taking care of you first, did you?" He asked you teasingly, though a bit sad.
You stayed quiet so he could explain.
"With me in LA, there's no way I can handle keeping track of Exit Ghost too. I was thinking about selling the space, maybe even finding someone who wanted to buy the company and make it their own." Charlie began explaining.
"But the thought of abandoning something that means so much to me..." He trailed off, feeling his heart sink to know that Exit Ghost would cease entirely.
Charlie locked eyes with you. "I want you to have it."
"What?" You asked instantly, feeling like the air was knocked out from your lungs.
"I know you haven't had independent experience with it. I'd be willing to handle all of the finances and organization aspects from LA. On paper, it would still be my company, but you'd do the directing." Charlie said, trying to gauge your reaction, wondering if this was too much.
You were speechless.
"I could help with that too. Anything you'd need." Charlie assured you, squeezing his hand on your knee. "You'd have to start slow. Maybe one night only productions in the black box. Get used to managing it. But you'd have me and you're fully capable."
If someone asked you what your most unattainable dream was, you'd have to say directing a theater company. It was why you interned for free with Charlie in the first place, even though you needed money.
You knew that the goal of directing wasn't impossible, but it would take a very long time to build up enough experience and connections. To have Charlie hand you an established company and offer his help would be a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
You imagined yourself: A director. You laughed in shock and happiness. All of your work would pay off. You would be achieving your wildest dreams.
Charlie was touched by the way you were reacting. Exit Ghost meant so much to him, and he knew that the only way he could part ways with it would be if you took over after him. You were the love of his life. It only made sense.
He was happy that you realized what a big opportunity this would be. He'd never do this for anyone else. He wouldn't trust them enough for it.
As you celebrated this, it slowly began to dawn on you.
For you to have Exit Ghost meant you couldn't have Charlie, at least not physically, at the same time.
Your eager grin slowly faded, coming to terms with this.
Charlie noticed the change in your demeanor and he deflated as well.
There was no way to win.
You settled back into your seat, staring ahead at the leather of the empty booth in front of you. "Well, shit." You mumbled to yourself.
Charlie understood. He settled beside you, staring ahead in the same way you were. "Yep." He replied, the 'p' making a soft popping sound.
The two of you were quiet, processing it all.
"I want you to live your own life and make your own decisions. You have two options, and it's important that you pick the one you want for yourself." Charlie explained. "You have my support, either way, you know that."
He made so many mistakes with Nicole, not giving her much of a choice but to move to New York with him. In a way, he was forcing Henry to move, too, back to LA with her.
Charlie couldn't do that with you. He needed to learn from his past. He knew this.
You swallowed hard, feeling the weight of the world on your chest.
"Can't you just decide for me?" You asked him, half-joking, half desperate.
He let out a short chuckle and shook his head. "No," Charlie hummed. "I can't."
You were frustrated and scared. You'd never say it to him because you didn't want to minimize his similar feelings, but this all felt so unfair.
There were two things in life that you wanted. Two things that seemed way too good to be true: Being a director and being with Charlie Barber.
You didn't think you'd ever be able to have either of them and now both opportunities were dangling themselves in front of your face. It was devastating. You wanted both.
You looked up at him, "Which would you prefer, though? Would it make you happier if I move in with you or if I take care of Exit Ghost?"
Charlie frowned affectionately. He moved some hair away from your face so you could look up at him easier. "I'll be happy either way, for different reasons. I'll be sad too, but that's beside the point. This is on you."
You sighed and nodded, knowing he was right.
You knew that change was going to come for the two of you soon. There was so much change happening just for Charlie himself. It was no surprise that it would start affecting you as well.
But to go from a nice first date to make a decision that would drastically change your life was jarring.
You were scared and nervous that you wouldn't make the right choice.
Even though Charlie was beside you, close to you, you felt very alone.
You needed to be alone with him.
"I want to go to the hotel." You mumbled, giving him a pleading look.
Charlie saw the desperation in your eyes, and he nodded, placing a kiss on your forehead. He'd give you almost anything you wanted right now.
You watched as he pulled out his wallet, then as he set a few hundred dollar bills on the table. He didn't want to have to wait for the check and the process of paying with his card. He wanted to get out of here with you.
"Come on, angel. Let's get you back." Charlie said soothingly, placing one more kiss to the top of your head before he moved out from the booth, standing up and offering his hand for you to take.
You held his hand and scooted out from the booth, staying close to him as the two of you moved towards the exit.
As you passed tables and booths, you watched all of the laughter and happy conversations taking place. That's what you and Charlie looked like a moment ago. You noted how quickly things could change.
On your walk back to the rental car, Charlie realized how guilty he felt for ruining the night the way that he had. It was something that needed to be told, regardless of how much it would hurt to do so, but he supposed it could've waited.
"Hey," He mumbled, pulling you towards him to an empty spot on the crowded sidewalk.
You raised your head to look up at him, "What's wrong?"
Charlie's stomach sank at the look on your face, but still, he grinned down at you. "We can't end the night like this, sweetheart. It's our last one." He said, "Let's go for a walk? A little shopping? We could get ice cream. I know we both love that."
Really, the last thing that you wanted to do was to be in space with a lot of people. You wanted to be with just Charlie and your racing thoughts. But as you took in the eager look on his face, you realized that you couldn't miss an opportunity like this: in a new city with someone you loved.
"Okay," You agreed slowly. A small smile began forming on your lips, matching his. "Where should we go?"
Charlie's lips pouted slightly in thought, going over his options. He checked his watch. The night was still young, barely past dinner time. "Are you willing to go on a little drive? Not too much, a little over half an hour."
"I'd go anywhere with you." You told him with a smirk, meaning it even if you said so to be playful.
Charlie shook his head a little, surprised by how much your joking comment was able to almost knock him off of his feet. "Come on, sweet girl. I think you'll have fun with this." He said to you, pulling you close as the two of you began walking again.
Charlie didn't give you a moment to overthink the current situation on the drive, which you were grateful for. He played music loud, all of the songs that the both of you enjoyed, and when there was a lull in the noise, he would talk to you about anything and everything.
It touched you how much he was trying for you.
You knew the moment that you weren't distracted by his singing or his hands tapping on the steering wheel, you'd be hit with a rush of despair all over again like you had been at the restaurant.
You were grateful to have had this time with him before it happened.
After almost forty minutes, he lowered the music, squinting ahead. "Hmm, okay." He mumbled, glancing over at you. "Close your eyes." He said to you, an excited smirk on his features.
"Close my eyes?" You asked with a laugh.
When he nodded and gave you a serious but happy look, you obliged. You shut your eyes and, for good measure, put your hands over them, letting him know that you were following his directions.
"Good girl," Charlie chuckled, staring at how cute you were for a moment before he pulled into a parking lot. "Keep them closed until I say so. I'll open your door and let you out when I park."
After a few minutes, Charlie was helping you get out from your side, putting a hand on top of your head in case you bumped it against the car as you were standing up.
He put his hands on your shoulders and moved you so that you had the best view. "Okay, open them." He muttered, keeping his hands in the same spot as he said so.
You moved your hands away from your eyes and opened them, blinking to adjust to the sun that was moving behind the clouds. You glanced around, taking in where you were and what you were looking at.
Soon, it clicked. You could hear the sounds of the ocean, calming waves. You could also hear the sound of people laughing, soft music in the background and other ambient noise. As you looked around, you found a Ferris wheel in the distance with other bright, flashing lights.
"I've been here before, but it's been years. I thought you'd like it." Charlie said, hoping that he had made a good choice. "We can do whatever you want. Ride some rides, play games, go to the beach. It's all up to you."
Being from the Midwest and not doing much traveling before you moved to New York, you'd never been to the pier before or anything similar before. At least, not like this.
You'd never been somewhere like this with someone like Charlie.
You made a noise of excitement and turned around to hug him.
When you did, Charlie wrapped his arms tightly around you and held you close. Knowing that you couldn't see him, his smile turned sad.
He always wanted this. He wished that it could always be this way.
When you pulled away, he fixed his expression, making sure that the tinges of melancholy were gone. You were finally acting like yourself. He didn't want to ruin that. "Do you like it?"
You didn't respond to that; instead, you grabbed his hand and began pulling him in the direction of the entrance. You liked it almost too much, so much that it hurt you to know that it was your last night doing this before you went back to New York.
"Guess you do," Charlie smiled affectionately, watching you with a love-filled expression, letting you guide him.
The two of you spent hours there. The number of people and things to see and do was the perfect distraction from your current situation.
You and Charlie took a walk along the beach that ended when he decided that although the sand in his shoes had been funny at first, it began to get a little too much: "Honey, you have to-Hey, stop. No. You have to stop kicking at me like that. Look-...Yes, I did say it was funny, but I could build a fucking castle with the sand in my socks right now."
As you stepped onto the pier, Charlie indulged you in every little thing that you wanted to do, wanting to keep your mind on anything other than the decision you'd have to make.
Passing a few arcade games, Charlie played until he won you the stuffed animal you pointed out. A light blue teddy bear with a dark brown bow around his neck: "You think he looks like me? I'm not a bear. Am I? Why-Oh? It's because he's cute. Well, thanks...I guess his bow is the same color as my hair, isn't it? Maybe you should name him after me...Yeah? Charlie Bear."
As you walked by a few food carts, you made fun of Charlie's interest in them after the big meal you shared only an hour or so ago: "Don't look at me like that. It's a funnel cake with a scoop of ice cream on it. How am I supposed to ignore it?... Would it be disgusting if I got one? I won't eat the whole thing, just to try... You'll share it with me?... God, I love you."
When you got to the edge of the pier that overlooked the water, you watched as couples lined up to get their pictures taken by a photographer and the booth beside him where he printed out the photo for you to take home in a cheesy frame that said the date on it: "I'll take a picture with you, sure. Wait, do I have ice cream on my face? What about my shirt? No? Okay. Get in line. I'll buy us a ticket...What? Of course, you look okay. You look perfect, angel. You always do."
Now, the two of you were on the Ferris wheel.
It was dark out. The sun had begun setting when you took your picture together, making for the perfect background of the sky and ocean behind you. It made the light of the ride you were on stand out even more, almost mesmerizing.
You had the teddy bear he won you in your lap, and Charlie held the bag that contained your picture, protecting it at his side while his other arm was wrapped securely around your shoulders.
"It's so pretty." You said, staring at the waves crashing below and all of the lights that illuminated the smiling and laughing people below. It was like a movie.
"It is." Charlie agreed, staring at all of the same things as you were, taking it in.
Now that it was just the two of you and all the other sounds were merely background noise, your thoughts were loud.
You leaned your head on his shoulder, and he moved his hand up to play with your hair, running his fingers through it.
"It should be reassuring for you. This is your home now and it's so beautiful." You told him, unable to hide the hints of sadness in your tone.
Perhaps, this could be your home too if you chose to follow him instead of staying in New York.
You couldn't help but think about getting coffee with Nicole, the advice she gave you: Don't reroute your entire life for a man who wouldn't do the same for you.
Would Charlie reroute his life for you? You were considering following him to LA, but would he move across the country for you if he was given a choice?
"It's beautiful, yeah." Charlie agreed softly. "I'll live here, but it won't be home. Not without you." He said and glanced down at you, "Home is with you."
As you stared into his eyes, you answered your question: If Charlie could, he would stay with you. You knew that.
"I know," You said softly. You agreed. You'd only feel at home if you were with him.
Charlie stared down at you, watching the way your eyes filled with tears, almost able to see his reflection in your wide, watery gaze. He swallowed hard, willing himself not to get emotional too.
He ducked his head down and pressed his lips against yours, placing your photo between his knees to hold it so that he could use that hand to cradle the back of your head, pulling you in closer to him.
You made a slight noise, almost melting into him as you held the teddy bear with one hand and used the other to place it on his furthest thigh, bringing his legs closer to yours.
As the two of you rode on the peaceful, slow wheel that overlooked the entirety of the pier, you held each other close.
The wind flowed through your hair at the same time Charlie's fingers did. The gentle spray of saltwater against your skin mirrored the tears running down both of your cheeks. And the bright artificial lights around you matched the electricity flowing through your veins, connecting the both of you and holding you still in a buzzing embrace.
You didn't know what the future would hold, but at this moment, you had Charlie and you had Los Angeles.
It was enough.
The beige walls of your hotel room felt more lifeless than ever before as you sat on the edge of the bed, watching Charlie as he attempted to dry his hair with a towel, ruffling it gently as he stared into the mirror.
When the two of you got back to your hotel room, you showered together. Charlie wanted to get the sand off of his feet before he laid down and you just wanted to join him.
You weren't sure if you'd ever been so quiet before. After the excitement of the pier wore off, the two of you had heavy hearts and racing minds.
Being together right now felt bittersweet.
"You wanna pick out a movie for us?" Charlie asked, looking at you from the reflection in front of him that gave him a view of the bed you were sitting on.
You didn't make a move to reach for the remote. You weren't sure if you'd be able to enjoy a movie with all of the things you were worried about.
Charlie paused his movements, "Honey?" He asked you. When you didn't respond, he turned away from the mirror to look at you. "I thought we agreed to watch a movie before bed. We don't have to. It's late." He tried to comfort you.
You frowned up at him, "I just want you."
Charlie faltered, eyebrows shooting up. Your statement caused his heart to stir. "You want me?" He asked you, setting his towel down on the table beside him as he moved closer to you.
"Please." You answered him, not embarrassed by your neediness.
Charlie joined you on the bed, scooting to sit with his back against the headboard. He opened up his arms and motioned you closer by tilting his head. "Come here." He suggested.
You crawled to him, settling so that you were beside him. You hooked your leg around his waist and wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing yourself against his side and resting your head against his shoulder, face in the crook of his neck.
"I'm here. Daddy's here, angel. I promise." He muttered, rubbing his hand up and down your back as he pulled you in closer.
You shivered from his words and from the way his fingertips felt running along your spine. Although you wanted him near to feel safe, you wanted him for a different reason now that you were practically in his lap.
You moved your head back so that you could reach up and kiss him, humming softly when his lips moved against yours and his hand gripped the material of your pajama top.
Charlie's tongue ran along your bottom lip, his hold releasing on your shirt so that he could slip his hand underneath it, his palm pressing against your warm skin. He pulled away just slightly, "I'm always here."
You took in a shaky breath. "No matter what?"
Charlie nodded, "Even if you're still in New York and I'm in California, I'll be there for you. I'm not going anywhere. I'm yours. Nothing could ever change that." He told you genuinely, staring into your eyes.
That was what you needed to hear, even if you already knew it.
"I love you," You said quietly, "I love you so much, Charlie."
Charlie had done an excellent job composing himself the entire day and to hear you say that and look at him in the way that you were; He couldn't help the low sob that escaped his chest. "I love you." He agreed.
You watched his bottom lip tremble and his eye twitch. He was doing his best to take care of you, but he needed someone to take care of him too. He was moving across the country against his will and leaving everything he worked for behind.
You kissed him again, harder than before, trying to convey to him how much you cared about him from the way your lips were rushing against his.
Charlie groaned, thankful for the distraction as he shut his eyes and felt tears flow from them. He held you closer, hands grasping for you as he kissed you back just as feverishly.
The two of you were a whirlwind of gripping and sighing and crying as you kissed and moved against each other's bodies.
There was so much that two of you felt and so much that you could say to the other. It was too much. There was nothing else for you to do but to show it with action.
Charlie moved so that he was on top of you, pulling your shirt expertly over your head in the same motion. Seeing your exposed skin, he ducked his head down and began kissing over your chest.
Your eyes fluttered shut and hands went to his damp hair, pushing it away from his face.
Charlie's kisses focused on your breast, running his tongue over your nipple before taking it into his mouth, lips closing in. He made a noise against your skin while his other hand ran up your body, finding your mouth.
You jumped slightly at the feeling of his fingers against your lips, opening your eyes. When you realized, you let out a breathless giggle before letting him slip two of his fingers into your mouth against your tongue.
The feeling of his large fingers in your mouth made you blink in arousal, hands tugging just slightly at his hair as he put pressure on your nipple, sucking gently. You mumbled an 'oh', mouth too full to say anything else.
You felt drops of wetness on your chest and you couldn't tell if they were from his hair or his tears.
Charlie looked up and locked eyes with you, not embarrassed if you saw how he was crying. He knew that you understood and you felt it too. He moved his fingers from your mouth, mesmerized by how gorgeous you looked right now.
The fact that he was always willing to wear his heart on his sleeve with you was one of the reasons you fell for him. You loved his emotions.
"Come here. Please." You begged him, reaching for him. You wanted to kiss him.
Getting the hint and knowing what you were searching for, Charlie moved up closer. He practically pinned you against the mattress, settling on your side but still hovering over you.
"I'm here." Charlie reminded you softly. His lips pressed down against yours.
You put a hand on the back of his head, holding him in place as you felt his hand that had just been in your mouth nudge its way into your underwear, past the waistband. Keeping his motion of kissing you, he slipped his wet fingers down inside your underwear, spreading your folds.
You moaned, back arching off of the bed when he came in contact with your clit. You spread your thighs so he could spread your wetness to your bundle of nerves, adding ease as he rubbed gentle circles.
Charlie pulled away so that he could stare down at you, taking in all of the noises you made and flickers of pleasure on your face. He could do this for hours, touching you and making you feel like you were in heaven, repaying the favor for how it felt to be with his angel.
"Everything is going to be okay, sweetheart," Charlie mumbled, locking eyes with you as he continued his motions. "Nothing's gonna hurt you." He said, blinking away tears.
You gasped, feeling the way that you were crying as well, evident from the drops falling down your cheeks and onto the pillow below you. "I-I," You attempted, "I don't want you to go."
Charlie sobbed briefly, his fingers picking up the pace against your clit, watching as your eyes rolled back momentarily in pleasure. "I'm not going anywhere. Even if I'm moving. I'm still right here with you. Always."
You whined, a hand grasping at the sheets below you as you could feel the way that your orgasm was approaching. The way he was touching you, combined with the yearning to be as close to him as possible, was overwhelming.
Charlie leaned down and kissed you passionately, placing his free hand on the side of your face, his thumb wiping away the tears he came in contact with as he did so.
This continued, his fingers caressing you exactly how you needed it while his lips did the same.
"I'm..." You mumbled, pulling away from him, "I'm close. Right there."
"I know," Charlie hummed, knowing your body well enough to be able to tell the signs that you were about to cum. "Look at me." He instructed you.
You took a deep breath and fluttered your eyes open to stare up at him. Usually, it made you nervous or embarrassed to make eye contact as you came, but you wanted that connection with him so badly that the only thing you felt right now was love.
"I'm right here," Charlie assured you soothingly, locking eyes.
You made a noise of surprised pleasure as you felt your orgasm hit you like a train, violent and making your ears ring with the impact of it. Throughout the sensation, your stare didn't leave him.
Charlie was here.
He watched you intently, feeling simultaneously like the luckiest man in the world to have you and the unluckiest that he was putting someone as perfect as you into the stressful situation that he was.
When he knew that you were in the process of coming down from your high, he pulled his fingers away and began pushing his pajama pants and boxers away from his hips, needing you.
"Keep your legs open for me. I need to be inside you." Charlie grunted, running his hand over his erection when it was free from the material of his clothes.
"I need you," You nodded, wiping away at your eyes, watching him as he positioned himself above you.
This scene wasn't unfamiliar to you.
You've had sex with Charlie many times.
Funnily enough, you've had sex with Charlie many times in a hotel.
As he ran the head of his cock along your wetness, you thought back to the first time he did this with you.
It was in a hotel that he bought for you two when Nicole went out of town. You remembered the way that he nervously opened the door for you, taking his wedding ring off. He didn't know if it was even okay to touch you.
You'd been so scared to have sex with him. You assumed you'd disappoint him, that he wouldn't like what he saw or felt.
Although you loved it the first time you had sex, there was so much uncertainty. You were both so nervous to not be good enough or to say the wrong thing, mess everything up.
Now, it was so much different. So much had changed.
You were in love now. Sex meant so much more.
Charlie locked eyes as he rolled his hips forward and entered inside you, groaning at the feeling. He'd never get used to it. You were made for him.
You let out a similar noise, moaning at the way it felt for his length felt like after being so sensitive from the orgasm before.
He moved forward, staying inside you, as he rested his weight on his elbows on either side of your body. Once he was comfortable, he began his thrusting, shallow and slow motions.
You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down so that his nose brushed against yours with each roll of his hips. Occasionally, his lips would press against yours before he'd pull away to stare down at you.
"I love you," Charlie breathed out, "You mean everything to me."
You brought his head down so that he could kiss you again, moaning when his thrusting picked up the pace, going deeper inside of you as he kissed you.
"I love you too." You whispered against his lips, talking in a rushed tone because of the noise of pleasure that escaped your mouth immediately after.
You lost track of time and space as he fucked you.
Charlie took his time, slowing down his movements or stopping each time entirely that he felt himself getting close. He didn't want this moment to end. He wanted to spend the rest of his life making love to you, feeling as connected to you as possible.
Nearly an hour later, when the two of you reached your orgasms, you moaned each other's name in unison, staring into the other's eyes.
The hours following were spent deep in thought.
Your bodies were tangled together under the sheets and your head was against his chest, finding comfort in the sound of his heartbeat.
Charlie's mind was focused on how different everything felt with you.
Even when he first met Nicole, it was never like this. There were problems from the very beginning that they chose to ignore. Every happy memory was tainted with a petty argument or passive aggression.
Charlie was only met with positive emotions when he thought about the past and present with you.
Charlie knew how lucky he was to have a love like that.
He couldn't fuck it up.
His mind wandered to the things Nicole said about him. That he was selfish, he took away her independence by pressuring her to move with him.
He couldn't do that with you.
Charlie needed to learn from his mistakes and be a better man for you.
"Are you awake?" He whispered quietly.
"Mhm," You mumbled. You were wide awake.
"You asked me earlier to do something for you," Charlie said quietly, staring up at the ceiling.
"I did?" You asked, not remembering what he was referring to.
"To decide for you. You wanted to know what I preferred." Charlie answered, talking about when you asked him at dinner to decide whether you should stay or go.
"Oh. Yeah?" You asked, feeling your pulse quicken at the mention of it.
"I think I made my decision." He mumbled.
You didn't say anything. You weren't sure if you wanted to know.
After a few beats of silence, Charlie continued:
"I want you to stay in New York. Take care of Exit Ghost for me."
Your heart sank, "Charlie." You attempted to sit up to look at him, but he just put a gentle hand on the back of your head to pull you back down against his chest.
"It's still your choice. You can do whatever you want. But that's my opinion." He said sadly.
You thought it over. The thought of being hours away from him made you sick. You weren't sure if you'd be able to handle that.
"I think you need to stay there and I think deep down you think that too," Charlie said, his stomach twisting just to say that out loud, regardless of if he was being truthful or not.
He continued, "When you moved there, it was your first time on your own and you met me right away. You hardly had any time to discover yourself and what you could accomplish. I think you need the time to grow. The time you could only get if you don't follow me."
You considered this.
You thought about how you would respond if a friend of yours was in the same position and asked for advice. You'd tell them exactly what Charlie had just told you.
If you stayed in New York, you'd have your dream job. And even if it were long distance, you'd still have Charlie. He wasn't breaking up with you.
That didn't make it hurt any less.
"Just think about it for me. Okay?" Charlie asked you, pleading.
If you went to LA, you'd be thinking only with your heart.
If you stayed in New York, you'd be thinking with your head.
In the long run, you knew what the smarter choice was.
Almost a full half an hour passed as you mulled it over.
"Are you awake?" You whispered quietly, just as he had before.
"Mhm," Charlie mumbled. He was wide awake.
You were quiet again for a few moments. Then, you continued:
"I'll stay in New York."
Your voice cracked with emotion, implying that you would be staying and Charlie would be leaving.
Even though it was what he needed to hear, it didn't exactly please him.
Charlie held you closer, squeezing you so tightly it almost hurt.
He couldn't be selfish with you.
Charlie had to go to Los Angeles.
It was his own doing. He made the mistakes that landed him there.
But you had so much life ahead of you, so much room for opportunities and growth.
You deserved to stay in New York;
Without him.
(A/N: The next chapter will be the LAST chapter. So please keep reading, the fic is not over yet. I appreciate you guys!)