I slowly opened my eyes as I squinted at the bright mall lights above me. Groaning, I rolled over to my side.
And I was met with a widely grinning face.
"Great jumping cheeseballs!" I shrieked, sitting upright from my position on the floor.
"Hiya!" Jamie said cheerily, waving to me.
"J-Jamie?!" I asked, still a bit dazed. "W-Why are you here? Where is everyone?"
Then I gasped in horror.
"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY WORMY BURGER?!"
"Calm down, Y/n!" Jamie told me as I glanced around the room in a panic. "I'm here so I could watch over you, to make sure nothing terrible happened. Everyone's gone on a shopping spree in a bunch of different stores. And unfortunately --" He put a hand on my shoulder. "-- there was never a wormy burger."
As I flung myself to the floor in despair, mourning the loss of my wormy burger, a thought came to me.
"Wait," I said as I sat up, "you're telling me that everyone just left? While I was unconscious? And nobody bothered to wake me up?!"
"Yes, sadly," replied Jamie, bringing me into a hug. "I tried to convince them to stay. But don't worry, I stayed with you the whole entire time!"
"Oh," I said slowly, eyeing my brother suspiciously. "Okay then."
Standing up, I brushed some dust and small bits of debris off my pants. Jamie stared at me. "Where are you going?"
"To explore the mall, of course!"
"But it's dangerous, Y/n. There's, like, tons of zombies --"
I ran away before he could finish his sentence.
"H-Hey!" he shouted, waving his arms. "Y/n! Get back here!"
"Sorry, brother! I'll see you later!"
I'm not sure how long I ran for, but after a few minutes, I had to stop. My body was super out of shape, and running felt like there were a million tiny splinters pricking my side.
"Woo!" I panted, wiping some sweat off my face. "I really... really hate running."
After I caught my breath, I started to stroll through the mall. Surprisingly, there weren't a lot of zombies up here on the second floor, so I did whatever I liked.
My first stop was the bookstore.
Pushing the silver door open, I looked around and grabbed an empty basket, quickly making my way over to the manga section.
"Okay, let's see," I murmured as I took out and flipped through some books. "They don't seem to have any Haikyuu!! here, which is a bummer, but there's a couple of Spy X Family ones. Ooh! Volumes 25 and 27 of My Hero Academia! And Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun? Should I just live here?"
After an hour, I emerged from the bookstore with a giant grin and 15 new books in my basket.
Up ahead, I could see a pharmacy. The doors were shut and locked, and some blue vine thingys had managed to curl around the handles, making it hard to enter.
I stopped in front of the doors and placed my basket down. Taking out my crowbar, I whacked the vines multiple times, until they finally broke and retracted themselves from the handles. Then I smashed the lock with the crowbar, and picking up my basket, I opened the doors and stepped inside.
I got some medicine and first-aid kits, as well as some lotion and aloe vera. I threw them all in my basket and was about to leave until I remembered something.
"Wait, what day is it?" Looking back, I could see a calendar posted near the entrance. My eyes widened.
"It's next week?!" I gasped, running back and disappearing behind the aisles. "I thought I had more time!"
I frantically searched the aisles, knocking over other products in the process. It wasn't until I reached the back of the store that I saw it.
"YES!" I shouted in joy as I held up a box. It was purple, and on the front, it read, "Aunt Flow Needs to Go!" along with a picture of the item I was looking for.
I happily put it in my basket and left the pharmacy. I could hear a couple of voices down the corridor, so it was probably my friends.
"Yes, sadly," replied Jamie, bringing me into a hug. "I tried to convince them to stay. But don't worry, I stayed with you the whole entire time!"
The friends who had abandoned me while I was unconscious, apparently.
The thing is, something didn't feel right about Jamie story. I had known June and Dirk for nearly my entire life. Normally, they would insist on staying with me, even if their lives were in danger.
And Jack and Quint were just too nice to just leave me.
I shrugged and ignored the weird feeling in my stomach. It was probably nothing, right?
I was about to turn the corner when I saw one more store. It was a shoe store, and on the door, there was a big sign that read, Everything's 50% Off! Buy Whatever You Want Because We're Gonna Go Bankrupt Anyway!
And a certain memory, that had been hiding in the back of my mind this entire time, seemed to finally resurface.
I had been secretly aiming the slingshot towards at Dirk's back, and now I released it. Unfortunately, I missed, and I accidentally splattered ketchup all his shoes. Welp, now I know that I'm pretty bad at slingshotting, if that's a thing. "Gah!" he yelped, and he quickly sat upright. He looked sadly at his shoes. "These were my only clean pair..." he mumbled to himself, then glared at me. I smiled sheepishly and shrugged. "I'll make it up to you, I promise," I quickly said. "Forget it," Dirk grumbled.
I'll make it up to you, I promise.
Those words echoed in my mind, and they just wouldn't leave.
I didn't really want to just give Dirk a pair of new shoes, though, because what if he forgot about the whole incident and I could just get away with it? But that would mean I'm breaking my promise. He probably doesn't even remember! What if I make it really awkward? And he takes the shoes out of pity but never wears them? Or what if he doesn't like them? I didn't want him to throw away a perfectly good pair of shoes.
Sighing, I clutched my basket and turned around.
. . .
"Haha!"
"Oh, man!"
"Crazy! Fishing rod, haha."
I could see all my friends and my brother laughing as they stood in front of Rover, who seemed to have gotten here just now. Illy and Zuko's little snouts peeked out from under a satchel pouch that was strapped around Rover's body.
Everyone was holding different things, and it seemed like they had gone shopping too. I smiled and hoisted my basket on top of Rover, though my purple box fell. I picked it up and was about to put it back in the basket when Jack came up to me.
"Hey, Y/n!" he said cheerfully. "I see you're conscious now. That's great!"
"Yes, though it's rude how you guys all just left me there on the ground and went shopping," I replied, the smile on my face gone. "Very, very rude."
Jack raised an eyebrow. "We didn't have much of choice, though."
"What do you mean by that?"
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jamie listening in to our conversation. At my question, he started to slowly inch away from the group, taking tiny steps so that they were barely noticeable.
"Well, after you fainted due to the lack of your wormy burger..." Quint piped up, joining the conversation. "You nearly got crushed by the monster. But then Dirk saved you."
He pointed at Dirk, who was obviously listening but pretended to not see us. He began to play with a fishing rod he had brought back from his shopping spree, fiddling with it and swinging it around.
"And after that, the ceiling came down and you almost died. So Jamie was like, I'm the only one who can protect Y/n! Now go!" Quint's imitation of Jamie was amusing.
"Yeah," June said, gently tapping her spear on my head. "We wanted to stay, but he insisted. So we left. End of story."
"I see," I said as I smiled widely. "Then I suppose someone has some explaining to do. Just where do you think you're going, brother?"
Jamie had been trying to sneak away, but due to my super ninja senses, he didn't get far.
Putting my purple box down, I grabbed his wrist and spun him around, then stepped forward. He backed away from me, but I continued. We kept going like that until I had cornered him with Rover on one side, the mall balcony barrier on another, and me on the last side.
Illy popped out of the sack and skittered over to me, much to Zuko's dismay, climbing up my pants and onto my shoulder. She could see that Jamie had done something bad, so she crossed her tiny arms and glared at him.
I grinned at Jamie darkly as I slowly took my crowbar out and got into a batting position. "Let's see. You shooed my friends away, then proceeded to lie to me about their departure, nearly tearing apart our friendship and the very existence of time and space. You know just as well as I do, dear brother, that I could start the purge any day if I wanted to. So I'll give you ten seconds to redeem yourself before I knock you out. Explain."
Jamie gulped, sweat slowly dripping down his face.
"Ten."
He looked around, trying to find a way to escape.
"Nine."
Jamie swiveled his head and stared at my friends with pleading eyes, but they pretended to be busy and began to polish their newfound items.
"Two."
"Wait, what --"
"One. Get ready for the most painful experience of your life, boy."
Jamie shrieked in terror as I began to chase him around the mall, my crowbar lifted high up in the air. Illy hung onto my hoodie, squeaking angrily at Jamie whenever she got the chance.
"That's not how you count!" Jamie shouted, dodging my crowbar. "I deserve 6 extra seconds of freedom!"
"I failed math for a reason!"
I saw a flash out of the corner of my eye, which turned out to be Jack taking a photo with his camera. But I didn't really care, so I continued to pursue my brother.
Eventually, Dirk had to step in and blocked me from murdering my one remaining blood relative.
"I think that's enough, Y/n," he said, leading me away. "Let's go."
Huffing, I picked up the purple box I had left on the floor and walked over to Rover, who barked happily.
"What's that?" Jack asked curiously, pointing at the box in my hands. June and Quint came over as well, staring at my mysterious package.
"Uh," I started hesitantly, "I'm not sure you want to know
"Of course we want to know!" Jack interrupted, putting his arm around my neck. Illy, still on my shoulder, squeaked in surprise. I flicked him on the forehead. "Who wouldn't be intrigued by something our dear friend Y/n has in her possession? Right, guys?"
Dirk and Quint nodded excitedly. June, however, peered closer, and after reading the label, her eyes widened.
"Jack," she said suddenly, "Don't."
"What?" Jack looked confused. "June --"
"You'll regret it."
"No, I won't!"
"You know what, if you really want to know," I sighed in exasperation. "Look at it yourself. Then tell me what you think of my amazing package, won't you?"
I tossed the box to Jack, who fumbled with it before properly catching it. I walked away, Illy jumping down from my shoulder and scampering after me.
I could hear them discussing what was inside. Turning around, I leaned on the balcony as I watched the scene unfold eight before my eyes.
"This oughta be rich."
Jack looked down at the front of the package. His eyes widened as he processed the image on the front and a pink tinge appeared on his face.
"Wha..." he mumbled, flipping the box upside down. "What is... huh?"
"What?" Dirk snatched the box from him and stared at it. "What's the big... deal."
Quint peeked over Dirk's shoulder and read the label out loud. "Aunt Flow Needs to Go? Is that some kind of watering can?"
"No, Quint," I said, smiling. "It's for my period."
Silence filled the entire mall.
"I'll take that back now," I slowly took the box away from Dirk's grasp, who made no objections. I placed it back in my basket. Rover licked my face as I did so.
I opened the satchel pouch, where Zuko was waiting impatiently, and gently placed Illy back inside.
"Well?" I questioned, crossing my arms. "Are you gonna put your stuff on Rover or what?"
"Oh, right."
Everyone secured their stuff on Rover, strapping in their items from their little shopping sprees.
"Rover," Jack said, "please carry our loot back to Big Mama."
The blue doggie monster barked happily and jumped over the balcony, climbing up the wreckage that apparently the worm monster had left in the floor below. He managed to pull himself up and slipped through a hole in the wall, disappearing from our view.
"Well, guys," Jack said, spreading his arms out. "Shall we say, uh, quest complete? Now, let's skedaddle."
"Ugh, I forgot," Dirk groaned, pushing Jack out of the way and heading towards the broken balcony.
"That big worm monster destroyed our way out," said June, gazing at the ginormous hole in the main floor.
"The big worm monster?" Quint questioned. "Ugh! We gotta come jp with a better name."
"That's not really important right now, Quint," I replied, picking up a small rock.
"Uh, no worries!" said Jack in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Plenty of exits."
But wherever we looked, the exits were either filled with zombies or blocked with blue vines. In short...
"Jack!" yelled June angrily. "Your quest has trapped us in the mall with oodles of super fun zombies!"
"Uh, yeah, but uh, stuff! Loot!" Jack stammered. "We got good gear and also fun while having fun together!"
"Yeah, if you think dying together's fun," said Dirk with an irked expression.
"We should look for a way out," I said, tossing my small rock up and catching it.
June sighed. "Let's split up. And stay on the walkie."
Everyone started walking away in different directions, giving Jack dirty looks as they passed by him.
I kicked my rock away and started heading down a dark corridor. Jamie, who had been silent this entire time, hurried to catch up with me.
"Y/n, let me explain --"
"You already had four seconds to do that. Just stay quiet and don't talk to me."
My steps got faster as I continued walking straight ahead. But for some reason, I felt uncomfortable. Like I was on stage.
Like someone was watching me.
•••
took me 8 months to find motivation again 😀 these recent chapters are gonna be so random lol. currently writing this on my period. stupid cramps. wish i was a man.