"Yes, you can do that. But I want you to send most of what you don't want to keep to your family. As the kings family they deserve to live just as well as we and my family will be. Plus, I know that you love, miss, and adore each and every single one of them. So, I want us to make sure that they always have anything and everything that they could ever possibly need or want in their lives."
"You are such a truly amazing, loving, and generous person angel moya. Thank you so much for thinking of that, I really appreciate it sooo much. Thank you." (my)
"You're welcome. I love you Dimitri Crispin Royce Nicholai Belikov, more than my own life." She whispered to me just before she captured my lips with her own in a torturingly amazing and loving kiss.
Several minutes later, after a VERY lengthy, passionate, and loving make out session we continued. "Anyway, because of me we stopped to get something to eat, which meant that we were out past sundown. We were stopped at a railroad crossing, with a train going by, when we were attacked. Aunt El got me and got down in the floor between the seats to hide, just in case. But what shocked me was that she hid me behind her, instead of her hiding behind me. Because according to everything that we are taught at the academy as dhampir, and them as moroi, says that they are to hide behind us no matter our or their age. Even if it is a moroi adult hiding behind a dhampir child. But she didn't do that, instead she completely disregarded teachings and protocols. As she made sure that I made myself just as small as I possibly could behind her. Then she threw her coat over me as more camouflage and put on a pair of leather gloves. And then she, shockingly enough to me, took an extra-long stake out of her purse and prepared for the worst. All of which, minus the gloves since Lissa's stakes all have a wooden handle on them, I have done with Lissa just as you probably did with Ivan. I didn't kill any strigoi myself that day, I mean obviously I was only ten years old after all. But I have, unfortunately, more than made up for it more times than anyone should have to since that day." She informed me sadly. (daddy)
I hated knowing that she has had to kill at all, let alone before she has even graduated from the academy. I wish that she had never had to know what having to kill feels like. But I can see it in her haunted eyes, she has had to kill far more than I have. Possibly even more than all of the guardians here at the academy put together have. And because of the way that I have been behaving since the very day that we met, she has had to deal with that all on her own as well. But that stops right yeblya NOW!! She will never have to go through anything ever again without me right by her side. Right where I belong, right where I have always belonged. (fucking)
I could also see something else in her eyes, she still to this day blames herself for their having to fight that fight that day. And their having to make those kills that they otherwise might not have had to make and then therefore their having to live with those kills. Moya bednaya bednaya lyubov'. (my poor poor love)
"Roza, detka that was not your fault, you were a child regardless of the things that you had to go through up until then, you were hungry. If they were so worried about being out after dark. Then they would have just gone through the drive through, before the sun went down, and let you eat on the drive back to the academy. And yes, I did do that with Ivan on more than one occasion in fact and his stake also had an extended wooden handle on it. So, you see even though you knew that you would never be allowed to become a guardian. That you were a princess who would someday become our queen, you still protected who would have become your charge under different circumstances. You protected your friend, your best friend, your sister detka. You have always protected her and anyone else who you knew ever needed it, not just the moroi. That is just who you are detka. And that is what makes you a hero Roza moya, not only my hero, but the hero to all of those people that the strigoi, that you have killed, didn't get to hurt, kill, or turn. As well as the ones that they would have killed or turned and so on and so forth and ALL of their families and friends as well. You are the hero to people who do not and may not ever even know who you are or that you even exist lyubov' moya." (baby, baby, baby, my, my love)
She wanted to challenge my words, I could see that much on her face and in her eyes too. But instead, she swallowed the words and tried to talk through the memories of not just her fear but also through her emotions. Because deep down inside her heart and soul she knew that I was right about everything that I had just said. She is a hero, all guardians are heroes, but she is even more so. Because of her age and because of all of those strigoi that she had managed to put an end to and the ones that she never allowed to be made.
"A few days later we finally came to the conclusion that somehow the strigoi must have mistaken me for Abby and that they must have tried to kill me thinking that I was her. I guess they must have wrongly thought that Abby is the Badica princess. I have never liked having to hide who I truly am because it puts my cousin's life in danger. Even if she doesn't know it or know that we are even related at all to begin with. But my grandparents decided a long time ago, when they found out about me. That this is the way that it must be at least until it is safe to announce who I truly am to the world. And even though my Nene is gone, killed by strigoi herself, my dede still insists that it remains that way until I turn eighteen if it is at all possible. I have tried to talk to him and baba both about it, but they are both still steadfastly adamant about it. They are both so hardheaded and stubborn most of the time, I am just glad that those two traits skipped me." (Grandmother, Grandfather, daddy)
I could see just how much she hated the danger of having to hide her real identity put her cousin Abby in. But then I chuckled at her last comment because she is just as hardheaded and stubborn as anyone that I have ever met. Of course, I'm not going to tell her that right now, someday I might but most definitely not today. She has been through enough lately because of me so she definitely does not need me teasing her about that today as well.
"Anyway, the six of them fought strigoi for almost an hour to protect me. Yes, they knew that I was a secret princess who was to become the next queen, but that wasn't why they were protecting me. They protected me for the very same reason that they have protected me from my very first day here. Even before any of us knew who I really was... or who I am I guess I should say. Or ad, I guess I should say before even I knew who I really am they protected me. They protected me for the same reason that Aunt El hid me behind her instead of her hiding behind me and readying herself to offer up a ten-year-old child just to buy herself a few more seconds. Which probably at least ninety-seven percent of the royals would have done and still to this day still probably will. There is probably sixty-eight percent of the non-royals who would most likely do the very same chert thing. Even to a dhampir newborn baby. They all protected me because they love me just as much as I love each and every single one of them. Before that day I had never really thought that anyone, but my baba, would ever put me first. I always thought that since I am a dhampir, princess or not. That I would be the very last person that anyone, besides my baba, would ever be willing to protect. Much less risk their lives and souls to protect." (hell, father, damn, father)
"You will always come first to me detka, and I will always protect you Roza moya. Always and forever." (baby, my)
"Not before our children. If you ever have to choose between them and me, you chose them with a clean and clear conscience Comrade. Every. Single. Yeblya. Time. Promise me that Mitya, please." She begged me, and as she did, I could feel her fear and worry as it rolled off of her in waves. Her fear for our future children, children that we have as of yet to even conceive, was just that chert palpable. (fucking, damn)
"All right, all right, as long as you make me the same promise detka." (baby)
She nodded. "Please don't ever leave me Comrade." She begged in a low whispered voice. But that is one thing that she never needed to ask of me let alone to beg of me.
I wrapped her in my arms and pulled her tighter against my chest resting my chin on the top of her head as I answered her plea. "Never angel moya, never."
She was always so strong in front of everyone else, she hardly ever showed anything other than her perfectly etched calm and blank façade to anyone. I, and possibly Alberta, are the only two people in the entire world who she would allow her façade to fall in front of.
But on occasion, especially since I stopped lying to her a few hours ago, she has thankfully been willing to show ME her soft and vulnerable side. And even before today she had shown it to me a few times. But I very seriously doubted that very many people, if anyone else at all actually. Had ever been gifted the sight of her soft, vulnerable, gentle, nurturing, and loving side. I know that she has shown it to Lissa a little bit, but I very seriously doubted that even Lissa had seen anywhere near as much as what Roza moya has shown to me. (my)
She always wanted to protect everyone, so she never let them see the real true her. She also never let anyone know if something was bothering her, if she could help it. But if and when I was actually paying attention I could always tell when something was bothering or upsetting her. Always.
"Never Roza moya, never detka. Not for as long as I can possibly physically stay here will I EVER leave your side angel moya." (my, baby, my)
A little later she continued. "Ok, now back to my story before I start to cry, and you know how I hate doing that in front of anyone."
I nodded because I did in fact know that.
"You know that earlier I said that normally dhampir can't have children together?"
"Yes." I was still confused by that statement. And that is when I thought again about her remarks also from earlier about us not having to adopt in order for us to have a family together. And as I said, I was still confused for a moment about what she said. Before the reality of what she was hinting at hit me like a ton of bricks right between the eyes.
"Well, as you know, I'm not normal." She's right, she's not normal, she's exceptional.
Cautiously, just to keep from getting my hopes up or jumping to the wrong conclusion. I asked her the question that was bouncing around in my brain. "Are..."
I licked my suddenly very overly dry and parched lips, as I feared to hope, before trying again to ask her this question. "... are you saying that we can have biological children TOGETHER, Roza moya?" (my)
"Yes. As it turns out when Lissa healed me and brought me back from the dead. She also managed to change so much of my DNA that I am now ninety-eight percent moroi and only two percent human. Which means that I am still technically a dhampir, but just barely. And that I have the fertility that is considerably more powerful than that of even the moroi. And that combined with being shadow kissed is also why I have sooo much magic. So, I am different than everyone else in the whole entire world, at least as far as we know anyway. I am one of a kind. And because there was just soooo much damage done to me physically in the accident. Lissa really had no choice but to change me so much if she wanted to bring me back."
"So just to be clear here. What you're saying is that we can have a baby together?!!!" I asked, my voice getting louder and louder as I continued. I was a lot louder than I meant to be actually, I just hoped that no one had overheard me. Because I most certainly do not want to bring attention to the fact that I am in my Roza's dorm room. And I chert we do not want anyone to know that Roza can carry a full blood dhampir child. I didn't trust enough people in the world, let alone here at the academy, with that kind of information. Because if they knew that then someone could take her and turn her into a yeblya baby making machine. Just to have a, or several, full blood dhampir guardians for themselves. Or to sell them off to the highest yeblya bidder. And if someone were to take angel moya, I would hunt their grebanyye zadnitsy down and kill every-single-yeblya-one of them that had anything whatsoever to do with it. Be that before or after the fact. Remembering just how loud I had been I was once again very chert thankful that no one else lived on this level of novice housing with her. Blyad' me!!! I should have been taking advantage of that fact since the yeblya lust charm. Or I should say that WE should have been taking full yeblya advantage of it. Just one more chert thing that I yeblya regrated when it came to angel moya. (damn, fucking, fucking, my, fucking asses, fucking, damn, fuck, fucking, fucking, damn, fucking, my)
Having no idea of my inner monologue she once again laughed, and she did so with a smile and tears of joy in her eyes she answered my question. "Yes, yes we can Mitya." I so loved hearing her call me that. Just as much as I love it when she calls me Comrade as a matter of a fact.
"Oh Roza, thank you, thank you so much detka. And yes, you most certainly are a one-of-a-kind angel moya." I said as I squeezed her against my chest as joyful tears, of my own, rolled down both of my checks. I have never in my life been so happy to hear anything as I am to hear her say that. It was right up there with when she says 'I love you' to me. (baby, my)
She giggled again. "You are so very welcome, lyubov' moy." (my love)
Totally and completely captivated, I leaned back and reverently ran a hand over her stomach over and over and over again.
"What are you doing Comrade?" She asked me curiously and with a smile.
"This is where our baby will be Roza. Where she will sleep happily, safely, warmly, and heathy." I answered in awe as I continued to caress her stomach.
"Yes, but our son is not there yet."
I looked up at her and smiled. "I know, but she will be just as soon as you are ready detka." (baby)
I emphasized the word she in order to try to let her know just how badly I longed for a daughter, a little girl, a little mini Roza. When she smiled, I knew that she understood.
"Whenever you are ready, then so am I." She assured me with another of her breath stealing smiles. MY GOD she is YEBLYA glorious!! (fucking)
"Are you sure?" I was somewhat shocked to hear her words. I could never have imagined that she would be ready to have our baby so soon.
"Yes." She whispered to me lovingly as she cupped and then gently caressed both of my cheeks.
"Thank you Roza moya, thank you sooo much detka. You have given me everything that I have ever wanted, everything that I have ever even dreamed of. You, a future with you, and our very own biological children together." I smiled at her again. (my, baby)
"But I want to make sure that you know something Roza moya." (my)