pairing- hanze
genre- angst/sad, soulmate!au
zeyu was completely sure his life was perfect. he just turned 16, was living in a school-provided dorm with his boyfriend, hanyu, of 2 years, had a rather enjoyable job at a cafe near their school. everything felt perfect, he couldnt be happier.
but he knew what was coming, and he couldnt help the constant worry that hovered over him. every 2 years, everyone who aged above 16 in the past years would recieve the name of their soulmate on their wrist. he knew this year he and hanyu would get theirs. and while he was confident hanyu was his soulmate, and he was hanyus, he could help but ponder what they'd do if they werent. as the day came closer, the thoughts loomed around more and more. it became impossible to shake the worries off. he sat at his desk, head burried in his hands. he couldnt focus on the homework in front of him, all these feelings building up inside him over the past weeks. it was late, and zeyu was sure that hanyu had been sleeping, but he was proven wrong when the office chair he sat in was turned around, and the elder kneeled down in front of zeyu. hanyu placed a hand on zeyus knee, giving the boy a small, comforting smile as he sighed.
"baby, whats going on? youve been like this for a while, im worried about you." hanyu concerned, and zeyu finally felt the walls of feelings he'd built up come crumbling down. he pulled on hanyus hand, and once the elder had stood up he collapsed into his arms. though hanyu was the shorter of the two, he seemed to have no trouble supporting zeyus weight, picking up the boy and carrying him to their shared bed in the other room. he sat down at the edge of the mattress, now holding zeyu on his lap. zeyus hands rested on hanyus shoulders, letting his fingers trace lines down hanyus arms in an attempt to distract himself. "talk to me, love. im all ears." hanyu whispered, running his hands up and down zeyus waist to relax the younger boy. with a sigh, zeyu finally spilled out his feelings to hanyu.
"im.. worried." he started, playing with the fabric of hanyus loose t-shirt. "we're getting our soulmates names soon, i just.. i dont want it to be someone else." he locked eyes with hanyu, who was giving zeyu an understanding look. he cupped hanyus cheeks, letting out a soft huff of air. hanyu only smiled at the boy, pulling him closer and wrapping his arms around zeyus middle.
"dont be worried, i already know we have each others names. i knew since i met you that id spend my life with you." hanyu reassured, gently pressing a kiss against zeyus lips. the younger smiled at his boyfriends words, leaning forward and resting his head against the crook of hanyus neck, taking a deep breath. they stayed like that for a while, before hanyu finally pulled zeyu down onto the bed, allowing the boy to curl under his arm and fall asleep with his cheek pressed to hanyus chest.
a week later, it was the night they'd get their soulmates names, and zeyu could stop himself from pacing around the room with anxiety. hanyu was sat at the edge of the bed, trying to consol the boy with words of comfort, but it didnt seem to do much, as zeyu continued chewing on his nails. finally hanyu got up and placed his hands on zeyus shoulders, stopping the boy in the process.
"breathe, xiaoyu. its going to be okay, your okay." zeyu did as told, sucking in a deep breath, and waddling into hanyus open arms. the elder hugged him tightly, spinning zeyu around in the process and getting a few sweet giggles out of the taller boy. hanyu announced he had an idea, pulling zeyu to sit on the bed with him and pulling out his phone. the time read 11:49pm, they would get their names at 12:00am. hanyu turned on his clock and sat faced zeyu. he softly grabbed zeyus hand, placing the boys palm over his left wrist, before placing his own hand over zeyus. "when we get our names, we can look at each others instead of looking for ourselves, okay?" hanyu suggested, earning a smile and an excited nod from zeyu.
the boys talked quietly, zeyu giggling at something hanyu had said when his wrist began to sting. his widened eyes flashed to the time, which read 12:00am, before flicking up to hanyu, who was staring at their hands in a similar way. the stinging stopped, and though zeyu felt frozen, a smile spread onto his face. his heart pounded, and his hands were shaking, but he was excited. finally, hanyu looked away from their hands, and up into zeyus eyes, mirroring the smile on zeyus face.
"you look first, my love." hanyu prompted. zeyu took a deep breath, and slowly lifted a shaking hand away from hanyus wrist, just enough for him to see the black cursive on hanyus skin. hanyu watched the boy his heart pumping in his chest, when he watched the smile that once sat on zeyus lips drop. for 5 seconds, hanyu looked at zeyu for any change in his expression. but there was nothing, he stared blankly at the spot on hanyus wrist that the older couldnt see. "zeyu? what is it?" zeyu finally looked up to hanyu, giving him a lost and empty look. hanyu finally pulled his hand away from zeyus wrist, and he saw it. it wasnt his name. and upon zeyu moving his hand, he realized zeyu wasnt on his either. they sat in silence, eyes flicking between the names (both of which they didnt know), before zeyu finally flung himself into hanyus arms. zeyu didnt know why, but he couldnt cry. it was as if it still didnt sink in. hanyu wasnt his soulmate. he wasnt hanyus. they were going to fall in love with other people. hanyu gently rubbed his back, and zeyu was sure he'd been whispering something comforting into his ear, but he couldnt hear it. it was like everything had been drowned out by the feeling of dread that now surrounded him. then, the tears began dripping down his face. the tried hiding them, but it was hard to keep anything from hanyu. he older cupped zeyus soft cheeks, sweetly brushing the tears away with his thumbs and leaving a kiss against his forehead. "dont cry, its going to be okay. im sure we wont meet our soulmates for a while. why dont we cross that bridge when we come to it? lets just stay how we are for now, okay baby?" hanyu offered, and at that time nothing sounded better to zeyu. he'd rather cover his ears and never acknowlegde this in his life. but even if its just for a while, he wanted to continue loving hanyu, and being loved by hanyu.
hanyu was right, for the most part. zeyu didnt meet his soulmate for over a year after they got their names. for a while, he thought maybe he never would meet them. maybe he could act like the name on his wrist meant absolutely nothing to him. but he knew it was all a pointless wish, he could run as long as he wanted, but reality will always outrun him. it was any regular day at work, making drinks, sometimes making food and wiping off counters. yes, it was repetitive, but there was no where else he'd wish to work. that was, except for that day. that day, he would rather be anywhere but there. he heard the bell of the cafe door ring, indicating someone had walked in. he felt the name on his wrist begin tingling. he felt his back stiffen, sucking in a short breath. they couldnt be here. there was no way. around 2 minutes later, his coworker handed him a clear, plastic cup and asked him to make the drink. even in his sudden feeling of fear, he shakily went to go put together the order in the front. he sloppily poured the last contents into the cup, palms sweating, before rushing to get it out of his way so he could go sit in the break room and panic. he leaned over the front counter, and prepared himself to shout out the name on the cup, when he froze upon reading it. it was his soulmates name. he stared at the cup, as if waiting for the name to change right in front of him. he shakily called out the name into the paritally busy building. a man walked up to the counter, likely around zeyus age, holding out a hand for the drink. his eyes locked on zeyus nametag, then looking up at the boy with a wide smile.
"its you." the man breathed, and zeyu felt his heart crash and break in his chest. he put on a conivncing smile, and sighed softly.
"yeah, its you." he exchanged numbers with the guy, making up a shitty excuse about being busy to run away from their conversation as quickly as possible. once the man had left, he made a break for the bathroom. he slammed the door as pressed his back against the wall and slid downwards. he burried his head into his hands, allowing his tears to fall freely. he didnt want this to happen. he wasnt ready. he still loves hanyu. it wasnt supposed to happen this soon. he thought of every possible way to avoid this, even considering blocking the guy and never telling hanyu he met him, but he knew it wouldnt work. it never worked like that. he went to his manager about 10 minutes later, telling her he had thrown up and couldnt continue working for the day. the kind woman let him leave, reminding him to take care of himself. once arriving at home, zeyu changed into an oversized hoodie and shorts, throwing himself into his and hanyus bed and burrying himself into the covers. hanyu wouldnt get home for another four hours. the conversation that was to come filled him with a sense of fear.
hanyu got home hours later, zeyu didnt run to the door to greet him. maybe he thought putting it off for as long as possible would make it go away. he knew in reality, he was only prolonging the inevitable. hanyu walked into the bedroom, leaning down to zeyu and pressing a kiss against the boys forehead. "hey baby. how was work?" hanyu asked, opening their closet and fishing out something to wear. zeyu hummed, picking at the threads of the black blanket.
"was fine.." he finally mumbled, and he could hear hanyu stop rummaging around in the drawers at the tone of zeyus voice. hanyu quickly slipped on whatever he was holding before sitting next to zeyu. he placed a hand on zeyus shoulder, attempting to look over the boys face.
"whats wrong? did something happen?" he interrogated the younger, who only sighed and turned over to face him. he looked up at hanyu, his eyes glazing over the boys face as if trying to memorize everything about him (though, zeyu was sure he'd never forget anything about hanyu even if he tried). he brought the blanket up close to his face, before he finally spoke, his voice small and hesitant.
"i met him today." hanyu raised an eyebrow at zeyu. "my soulmate... i met him at work." he clarified, and he watched as it clicked for hanyu. the older boys eyes widened, before he looked away from zeyu. he tried to find something to say, but nothing came to mind. he just nodded, and zeyu sunk further into the blankets in shame. he felt like he was betraying hanyu, though the boys were doomed from the start.
he hated it. as months passed, and that man kept coming back to the coffee shop, zeyu found himself falling more and more in love with the man. and it broke his heart. as much as he was great, and zeyu knew inevitably, he would spend his life with this guy, there wasnt a moment he wasnt thinking of hanyu. the older boy who became distant over the past while. he didnt kiss zeyu anymore, and recieving a hug from him became rare. he knew he couldnt expect hanyu to continue loving him when there was someone else, but part of him still wanted to curl into hanyus warm embrace every night. he knew, even without any words, that their relationship was over. they were simply roommates now. that knowledge broke zeyu, the fact that he and hanyu, who used to be so in love now only coexisted with one another, a desolate and bitter feeling occupying the space between him and hanyu. he mourned for a relationship that never could have worked.
three months later, zeyu moved out of their shared dorm. hanyu helped him pack all of his things in silence, helping him hoist the boxes into the car and differentiate what was his, and what was hanyus. they'd been together for so long, zeyu felt wrong taking down all the small memories they had scattered around the house. he remembered getting in the car, and hanyu wishing him well. he remembered the elder telling him to drive safe. half way to his new lovers house, he pulled over to the side of the road. he cried into his hands. his chest was tight and his whole body shook with each sob. the last text he sent hanyu was to tell him he arrived safe at the mans house. he sat in the bedroom for 15 minutes after recieving the last message he'd get from hanyu, reading it over and over again.
good to hear. thank you for everything. im glad i got to love you.
they didnt speak again after that.
four years later, zeyu was now in university and was studying education. he and his boyfriend had broken up the year prior, after months of endless fighting and hateful words thrown at each other, days after their wrists stung and burned and the names dissapeared. though it was rare, it happened when fate gets soulmates wrong, and they later fall out of love. of course, it was just zeyus luck for that to be him. he lived alone in his small apartment, just off the campus of where he studied. he wouldnt say his life was horrible, but fuck, it definetly wasnt good either. he spent most of his days working shifts longer than he could handle or studying for his classes. he considered a few times dropping out, but not prepared to throw away everything he'd been working towards. se reluctantly, he kept pushing.
he sat in the public library, hunched over his notebook. he hated finals. he hated studying. he ran a hand through light brown hair, before rubbing his tired eyes. he'd been through 5 cups of coffee already that day, and if he had another one he was sure he'd collapse. he sighed, going back to flipping between the textbook and his notes before a bag was placed on the table before him.
"mind if i sit down?" zeyu looked up so fast he was sure he'd given himself whiplash at the sound of the voice. there before him stood jia hanyu, offering zeyu a small smile
// i dont see a lot of hanze stuff and ive been waiting to write this one for a while, but i cant decide on a happy ending or sad ending🤔 which one should i give it? i hope you liked this first part❤️❤️