Anna's POV
I was buried under my covers, my curtains closed, desperately trying to shut out the world. I felt empty. I could deal with being rejected by someone, that was no big deal. I mean, let's face it, for the biggest part of my life, I was shun out of everybody's life or obviously not wanted there except for Harry. Rejection wasn't anything new. Knowing someone I loved was disgusted by me? That was knew. It hurt. It was a surprise I'd been able to make it back to my dorm really, everything was a blur after she left me there.
"Alright Ana, that's enough. You've been sulking in your bed there since the day started. Even I am up and I had to deal with my hang over," Lavender declared as she pulled the curtains open.
I usually would've replied something to her, how there was a spell for hungover or something, but I didn't. I didn't make a noise.
"Anna," she said again and sat on my bed. She put her hand on my shoulder but I didn't move. "What happened? You're never like that."
I didn't make a sound. Perhaps if I was quiet enough I would disappear along with my mistake and misery. Maybe the world would forget about me and I'd be able to start a new life. My brother certainly wouldn't be the one to fight for me to stay. Pansy would be to last person to. Hell, Voldemort had more chance of looking for me than her if I did disappear.
"Anna," Parvati softly said, sitting on the other side of my bed. She pulled my blanket off my face, forcing me to face life. How could she? "Do you want to talk about it."
"I kissed someone," I said after a while, staring off in the emptiness. I heard Lav gasp behind me but did not react. Parvati simply hummed in response. "They didn't react well."
"That happens, Anna. It's going to be okay," Lavender affirmed.
"But until then, you can have the day to sulk if you need it," Parvati said.
"Yeah. I'm gonna take that day."
The two of them got up and walked out of the dorm but I, weirdly enough, felt that it wasn't the end of talking about that. Indeed, a few minutes later, the door opened and two people sat on my bed, making it sunk and me fall towards them.
"What happened?" Neville asked, his voice awfully straight forward.
"I kissed her."
"Merlin's balls Anna," he let out.
"Yeah, Merlin's balls."
"Did she not react well?"
"Did she not react well? Oh no, she totally did, that's why I'm sulking away in my bed, hoping that it swallows me whole so I don't have to deal with the consequences of my actions."
"Don't talk to Neville like that, Anna," Luna said firmly. "Just because she didn't react well to you kissing her doesn't give you the right to snap at the people you care about."
She was right. I knew she was right. I hated that my first response to everything was anger. Some tears escaped as I heard Pansy's voice telling me I was disgusting.
"It's not that she didn't react well, Luna," I whispered, knowing that if I tried to speak normally my voice would break. "She reacted in the worst way possible. I ruined our friendship."
"It can't be that bad, surely."
"I really don't want to talk about it. You guys should go out or do something, I want to be alone."
"Anna-" Neville tried but I interrupted him.
"Please. I'm not shutting you two out forever, I just need some time." They sighed but got up my bed.
"I'm always here if you need me, Star," Neville said and kissed my head before leaving.
I got out of my bed and threw on my favourite sweater. It used to be Cedric's but he gave it to me before the last task. I wished he was still there, I'd be able to talk to him then. I made my way down and discreetly left the common room. I took the least used hallways until I reached professor McGonagall's office.
"Come in," she said after I knocked. I opened the door and she looked up at me. "Miss Potter. Take a seat."
I sat down in front of her, not really looking at her as I played with my hands. "I was wondering, professor, if it would be possible for me to go see my uncle for the Easter holidays."
"I'm afraid the train for the holiday has already left Miss Potter."
"Is there no other way for me to go?" I looked up to her. I had to see them, I needed to. She stayed silent for a moment, observing me.
"Well, I should be able to do something. I'll see with Albus and your uncle." I slumped back against my chair at her words and thanked her. "Are you alright Anna?"
"I'm okay professor." I saw her shadow get up and come in front of her desk.
"I'm afraid I do not believe you, my dear. Had you been okay, you would've called me Minnie or Minerva, not professor. What's on your mind?" I felt my throat close up and stayed silent. "You know, your father had the same mannerism as you. When something was on his mind, he would refuse to look at anyone and played with his hands. Lily was more the type to bite her lip and the inside of her cheek."
"Like Harry," I noticed with a half smile.
"Like Harry." We both stayed quiet for a while.
"Is it- am I disgusting? For liking girls?" I finally asked, my voice breaking. She kneeled down in front of me and took my hands in hers.
"Anna Potter, you are not disgusting. There is nothing disgusting in liking women." She smiled at me. "I am a refined woman and stay away from all disgusting things yet I, too, love women."
"Really?" I was surprised to hear that.
"There is no shame in liking women. If anything you should be proud of it." She patted my hands sweetly and got up. "I will tell Albus you are leaving tonight and send a message to your uncle. You go prepare your things."
I got up and hesitated slightly before giving her a small hug. "Thank you, Minnie."
Pansy POV
What had I done? Why did I react like that? I've been dreaming of kissing her for weeks and when she does I ruin everything. Did she think I hated her? I knew I panicked, I wasn't ready for that. She was drunk and most likely did not mean to kiss me which broke my heart. I shouldn't have spoke. Merlin, why had I spoken? I could've kept my mouth shut and enjoyed the moment. Maybe she wouldn't even have remembered it, everything would've stayed the same then.
"Alright, that's enough," Theo loudly said as he barged into my dorm, making me sit up.
"What the fuck Theo?! You can't just barge in like that!"
"Yes, we very well can," Blaise said. Both of them seemed awfully frustrated.
"Fine! What do you want?"
"For you to tell us what the fuck happened last night!"
"What? What are you talking about?"
"You haven't gotten out of bed since, and neither did Anna apparently, so what the fuck happened with you two."
"What makes you think we're both implicated in the other staying in their bed? She was pretty drunk last night," I said bitterly.
"So you were with her."
I groaned and fell back on my back, my hands covering my face. "Why does it matter what happened?"
"Because both of you are way too proud to hide in your room if what happened isn't big," Theo stated.
"Excuse you?!"
"He's not wrong," Blaise agreed.
"Wh- that's not true!"
"It is."
"Yep."
"Fine. So what what if we're proud?"
"Well it only adds to how big whatever happened is." I sighed and stared at the ceiling.
"She kissed me."
"Oh my-"
"And I reacted horribly," I interrupted Theo.
"What do you mean?"
"You know how my family is."
"Yes."
"Obviously, mine's the same," Theo added.
"Well I panicked and said what they always told me." I joylessly laughed. "I'm such a fucking idiot."
"That you are," Blaise said, shocking even Theo. "Why would you say that?"
"I don't know! I panicked and just- it's the only thing I head for eleven fucking years Blaise! Plus she was fucking drunk she probably didn't even mean to do that!"
"Are you dumb? She's been wanting to kiss you for ever! It's so fucking obvious that you both pin for each other."
"She was drunk Blaise! Even if she had meant to kiss me, I couldn't kiss her back alright? It would feel like taking advantage of her and I can't do that."
"You're gonna have to tell her the reason you reacted like that," Theo softly said, interrupting Blaise and I. He looked at me in the eyes. "Because if there's anything I know, is that if you told her the shit we were told growing up, she must be hurt as hell. It's really no surprise she's staying in her own dorm." He got up and walked to the door.
"Theo," I called. He stopped, a hand on the handle, but didn't turn. "I didn't mean to react like that, to be like them."
"I know. You're not like them, anyone who knows you knows that. But Anna's the one you have to apologize to, not me."