Hello readers :)
NEW COVER :D
So I passed 12,000 reads, and am currently 331 reads away from 12500, meh, it's close enough :)
I've been getting a lot more comments recently and that really does make me smile, so thank you c:
Anyways, enjoy the chapter,
SM xx
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Emily's POV
I had been driving for five hours. Five hours is a lot of time to think.
All I could thing about was Louis. And Harry.
I hadn't even talked to Harry once after he kissed me, and looking back on it now, I realized that I should have. Leaving without even a word to him was a stupid move.
I felt awful. I felt incomplete. I felt broken.
I felt numb.
As much as I wanted to cry, the tears had stopped flowing.
I couldn't stop thinking about them. As much as I tried to distract myself, I failed. It was as if my mind refused to budge. Their faces had been engraved into my mind, and I bet I couldn't forget them even in my sleep.
I sighed, trying to focus on the road. Little droplets of rain were falling down and splashing onto the windshield with soft thuds. Today's weather fit with my mood perfectly - gloomy and miserable.
Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me
Little Things had started playing. This particular song had the power to unleash all my emotions. The pure and beautiful lyrics always got to me, and paired with the angellic voices of the five boys, it made a song which easily made me cry.
I couldn't be bothered to change the song, even though I knew that it would only remind me more of them, but for some reason I didn't budge and kept my hands firm on the steering wheel.
The soft and mellow melody of the song kept playing in the background. I found myself softly humming along.
I stopped at a traffic light, only five minutes away from my house. I couldn't wait to go home and do nothing but sleep in my bed and watch movies all day and eat a hell lot of ice-cream and wallow in self-pity.
I smirked slightly at how cringey that sounded.
You can't go to bed without a cup of tea.
I closed my eyes as a tear rolled down my cheek at the sound of his voice.
My tear ducts seemed to have become experts in the art of speed.
Louis's voice was my favourite voice in the world. It was so...different. It just made my heart do all kinds of backflips and somersaults. It was the most captivating and beautiful voice I'd ever heard.
Sighing, I focused on the road, wiping the few tears that had escaped my eyes with the back of my sleeve.
I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape
Harry had a great voice too. I'd always known that he would end up as a singer. He had been overflowing with talent ever since we were little kids. He'd always be singing, and even then, he had a really good voice.
The dreaded unanswered question was still swimming around my head - did I like Harry?
It wouldn't be too surprising if I did. It's a cliche thing for best friends to fall for each other.
But Louis...
I didn't know what I felt for who. I hated not knowing.
I felt like the worst person ever. Confusion is evil. I hated the fact that Harry kissed me. I hated the feelings that had been stirred up inside me. I hated breaking up with Lou. I hated not knowing what to do.
I hated myself.
Soon, I was pulling into my driveway. I parked outside the house I called my home, the house I had grown up in, the house that held all my cherished childhood memories.
I looked at my house, smiling slightly to myself. It was nice to know that some things hadn't changed. My house was still the small, two-storey brick house with the bright yellow door. The bright red mail box standing on the lawn still had a dent on it's left side.
I felt calm here. I felt like I was home.
Which I literally was, I guess.
I walked towards the door, dragging my suitcase behimd me. Fishing around my purse for the key, I found it hanging from my red telephone booth keychain which Louis bought me the day he took me on a 'tour' of London.
I bit my lip, stroking the keychain tenderly and remembering my first date (well, you couldn't call it a date...an outing?) with Lou.
Dwelling in memories was not the best thing to do right now. I looked up for a moment and my eyes landed on the peach curtains of the living room. I froze.
I could swear that I had swept all the curtains shut in the house before I left for London.
I stared at the window. Maybe I had forgotten to close this particular pair.
I shrugged it off, mentally reprimanding myself for being so careless with the curtains. It wasn't a big deal, but it could be dangerous. Plus I was paranoid that way.
My eyes landed on the two other keys attatched to the keychain - one for the boys' flat, which had been bestowed upon me for cases of emergency, and the key to my inn room.
Inn.
I cursed under my breath, realizing that I hadn't told Gladys that I wouldn't be coming back for a while.
Putting calling Gladys on my mental to do list, I wrapped my hand around the door knob and turned it, about to jiggle the rectangular key inside the keyhole when something unexpected happened.
The door opened.
My heart almost stopped beating.
Why in hell was the front door to my empty house unlocked and open?
Okay, I was not stupid enough to not lock my door. And I distinctly remember doing so too.
Suddenly feeling scared, my mind raced through all the worst possibilities. Had my house been broken into? Had it been robbed? Had it been seized by tramps?
At that moment, I wished that Louis was here with me. I'd grown so used to having him around me all the time. His presence made me feel safe, it comforted me and assured me that danger would stay well away from me.
"I'll always protect you"
No. Em, stop thinking about this, I scolded myself. Get these thoughts out of your head. Get him out of your head for now. You broke up with him, remember? You broke up with him for his own good, so you wouldn't be unfair to him while you might possibly have feelings for another.
I took a deep breath, blinking away the tears stinging my eyes. I looked at the slightly ajar door, wondering what to do. Best case scenario - I actually did forget to lock the door, but nobody had realized and everything was exactly as I left it. Worst case scenario - my house had been broken into, vandalised, stolen from and been taken over by crazy homeless hobos.
Trying to push thoughts about drug addicted hobos and thieves out of my head, I built up the courage to go inside. I walked inside gingerly, taking one step per thirty seconds, tip-toeing and walking slowly with caution into my own house.
I felt like such a badass ninja.
I heard a sound, like a plate being put down, from the kitchen. I stopped in my tracks, one foot in mid air. I looked around frantically, fear starting to course through my veins.
I swiftly grabbed the nearest thing to me (which happened to be a Mickey Mouse umbrella I'd had since I was 10) and headed towards the kitchen soundlessly, instinctively looking around me every five seconds.
I swear I felt like I was in a Paranormal Activity movie.
Every hair on my neck stood up as I heard a door being shut (probably the door of the sitting room, which was linked to the kitchen). So that's where the hobo/possessed person/wild animal/ghost/brain-eating zombie was.
My heart was pounding as I took steps towards the kitchen, my sweaty palms gripping onto the handle so tightly that my knuckles were white.
God, please don't mess with me and play tricks with me because I'm going to lose my mind anytime now.
I prodded the kitchen door with the umbrella and it slid open with a soft creak (which totally added to the whole spooky I-think-I'm-going-to-die vibe). I walked into the kitchen carefully and cautiously, trying to swallow my fear. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down.
I looked around the kitchen and found it to be looking the same as it always did. The slightly crooked picture of fruits hanging on the pale yellow walls above the stove. The small oak kitchen table in the centre, with a pearly white table cloth. A million photos and magnets from the different places my mother had visited plastered on the fridge. The microwave, kettle and toaster all aligned in a single line on the marble counter.
I crept over to the sitting room door and just stared at it, praying that whatever creature was behind the door would not choose to open the door at that very moment because a) it would hit me very hard in the face and that would be highly painful, b) I would probably shit myself and c) I didn't want to expose myself.
I leant towards the door, my hand shaking as I put my ear to it and listened.
Silence.
And suddenly the television roared to life.
"Holy flipping shit," I whisper-yelled as I jumped atleast a mile away from the door, trying to calm my erratic heart down. A new wave of fear rolled over me.
Dear God, why am I going to die today, I'm not ready for this, I have so much to do, so much to see and I'm only -
The door swung open and I caught my breath.
This is it, I thought. I plucked up every last ounce of courage and my head whipped around, umbrlla in hand ready to attack my -
I gasped as I looked at who stood in front of me.
"Mom?"
Zayn's POV
"Why did she leave me Zayn?" Louis asked me softly, the sadness in his eyes enough to break my heart.
I didn't think Em would actually break up with Lou. I thought that they'd talk it out, sort everything out between them, kiss and make up.
I guess it wasn't really that simple.
"I don't know man," I answered.
"Was I not good enough?" he frowned.
"Nah dude, you're the best," I said honestly, a small smile making its way to my face.
"She didn't think so," Lou stated, biting his lip.
This whole thing had him so torn up. It was obvious that he really, really, really liked her.
"Lou, she'll come back." I assured him.
I knew she would. Em wasn't stupid. She'd realize and come back.
Well, I hoped she would.
"No she won't. She likes Harry. I mean nothing to her," Louis said, a hint of anger in his voice.
Resolving the tension between Harry and Louis was going to be a challenge. Lou looked like he would kill Harry if he ever got the chance to, that's how angry he was.
"Lou, you know that's not true," I frowned, looking up at him.
He looked down, "Zayn, I really l-"
Harry entered our cabin at that moment, whistling, "Hey, have you seen Em?"
Was he oblivious to the fact that Lou was right there?
And why was he so happy?
Louis's head shot up at the sound of Harry's voice, "Why, do you want to frolick in the fields with her?" he said bitterly.
Oh boy.
"What?" Harry asked, a confused expression replacing the gleeful one.
"Stop acting so freaking thick," Louis said angrily.
"I'm not -"
"Harry, why're you so happy and calm about this?" I butted in.
"He just wanted Em to be his all along. You were jealous of Em and I, I get it now. Kissing your best friend's girlfriend was a cheap shot though, even for you," Lou spat out, the pain evident in his voices.
Harry's lips twisted into a frown. Guilt flooded his eyes, and he started saying, "Lou -"
"Save it." Lou cut him off, not giving him a chance to speak, "Seeing your face disgusts me."
He then proceeded to head towards the door. He turned around and glared at Harry for a second before slamming the door and storming out.
Harry looked at me helplessly, "Zayn -"
"Why're you here Harry?" I sighed.
"I was looking for Em," he answered.
"What do you want to ruin now?" I said with a little bit of hostility in my tone.
"I just wanted to apologize to Em," he shrugged.
"I think you should apologize to Lou first." I advised him, "She's not the only one who was affected by this,"
"Yeah, I know," Harry said, a little bit uncomfortably.
"You should apologize to Felicity too, she's trying her best to act like nothing happened, but even she was shaken up by it," I lectured.
"Okay," he said meekly.
"Why did you go ahead and ruin things Harry? Why did you kiss her?" I asked him.
"Well, um, I thought I had feelings for her, I mean, she is my bestest friend and we know each other more than we know ourselves, and it does happen a lot, you know, best friends falling for each other," he explained.
"So you do like her," I said with a humourless laugh.
"I kissed her to find out if what I thought was true...but it wasn't. No sparks, no fireworks, nothing. I am 100% sure I don't like her. I love her as a best friend, and best friend only. I guess I just got, um, protective when she was with Lou." he continued, giving me a sheepish smile.
I groaned, "You've got to be joking,"
"Nope. Tell me where Em is, I really need to make it upto her so she doesn't cut off my balls," he said, a nervous smile on my face.
I looked at him pointedly. I honestly felt like slapping Harry for being such an idiot.
"You prick, she left a few hours ago. She thinks she may like you!" I exclaimed, "God Harry, you're such an idiot," I said, voicing my thoughts.
Harry's eyes went wide, "But Lou -"
"She broke up with him. That little kiss created quite a big mess," I sighed.
"Em...likes me?" Harry said, surprise and shock written all over my face, "Oh my god, I didn't -"
"You did lead her on, idiot," I yelled at him, smacking the back of his head.
Harry hissed in pain and looked at me sharply before rubbing his head, "But her and Lou..."
"I bet she doesn't like you really and the kiss just got her confused, lord Harry, you're an ass," I ranted.
"I didn't think she'd actually break up with Lou over it," Harry said slowly, "Wow, I did screw things up," he frowned, biting his lip.
"No shit," I said sarcastically.
I dug into my pocket and retrieved my phone, hastily pressing buttons. I glanced at the clock, hoping I wasn't too late.
"What are you doing?" Harry questioned.
"Calling her. She said she'd switch off her phone when she got there, and I'm just praying she hasn't reached yet," I explained, praying that Em would pick up.
"Hi, you have reached Em Greene's phone and I'm probably really busy right now, hence I can't answer this. Maybe I'm stuck on an island and my phone ran out of battery. Or maybe I'm ignoring you because you smell and I don't like you. So yeah, leave a message after the tone...or beep, I'm not sure which it is really....Lou?" "Yes babe?" "Is the voicemail thing a beep or a tone?" "What's the difference?" "I don't know, Lou" "Maybe it's a teep" "Okay, so leave a message -" "And she'll get back to you. Unless you really smell. Bye!"
I let out a dejected sigh, "Shit,"
"What happened?" Harry asked, looking at me worriedly.
"We're too late, there's no way to fix this now."
Emily's POV
"What are you doing here?" I blurted out, looking at my mom in shock. As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized how rude that sounded.
"Well, Emily, this is my house..." my mom trailed off, the corners of her lips twitching upwards.
"Sorry," I said sheepishly, looking down.
"Hungry? I made pasta," my mom offered breaking the silence.
I looked at my mom. She pretty much looked like an older version of me, but her hair was a lighter brown than mine (and tied into a messy bun) and her eyes were dark grey, varying from my bright green. She looked more like my sister than my mother, to be honest. She was dressed in black formal trousers and a blue pinstriped shirt, which was neatly tucked into her pants. Her face was adorned with minimum make-up essentials, and she looked ready for some big shot business meeting.
"You know what? That would be nice," I answered her, taking a seat on one of the counter stools.
Awkward silence enveloped us.
"Thanks," I said as she placed a plate of chicken alfredo in front of me.
I took a bite as my mom watched me expenctantly. She wasn't the best cook in the world, but I didn't care at that moment. I was just super hungry and would have been ready to eat anything really.
"You're welcome," she said, her eyebrows furrowing.
Some more awkward silence.
"So, do you know how funny it is finding out about your daughter's life from a tabloid?" my mom said casually, examining her nails.
I reached for a glass of water and gulped it down, "Umm..."
"Lewis, right?" she said.
"Mom, it's pronounced Lou-ee," I corrected her.
It annoyed me as much as it annoyed Louis when someone pronounced his name wrong.
"I knew that," my mom said, a slight smirk on her face.
"Sure you did," I said sarcastically, but I was smiling slightly too.
I continued stuffing my mouth with the pasta, pausing only to breathe and swallow.
"Who knew that my daughter would be all over tabloids and gossip blogs for dating a member of One Dimension?" she commented.
A little smile slipped onto my face, "Direction, Mom, One Direction. And definitely not me," I answered honestly.
A few moments of silence passed, the clocking ticking being the only sound to be heard.
"You picked a cute one, I approve," Mom said out of the blue.
I coughed vigorously, choking a little on my pasta, "Mom!"
"Harry's grown up to be a dashing young man too," she stated.
"Mom!"
"I heard he likes older ladies..." she trailed off, grinning.
"Please rid your mind of any thoughts involving Harry," I said, a horrified expression on my face.
"Nah, I think the one with the black quiffy hair is yum," my mom continued.
"Mother, can you please not hit on my friends?" I groaned.
"Even the blonde one's pretty charming," she carried on ignoring me, smirking full on now.
"Oh god," I muttered.
"You know I'm messing with you," my mom smiled.
"Good,"
Silence had a way of butting into our conversation frequently.
"Okay, are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Mom said, getting straight to the point.
"Huh?" I said, surprised at what she just asked me.
"You didn't snap at me to not call you Emily, you accepted the food I cooked without mocking it, you're talking to me normally, you've not made even one teasing comment so far and your smile is obviously false. Em, I'm your mother. Sure, I'm not here most of the time, but I can read you very well." she said flatly.
Oh.
Wow.
Am I that easy to figure out?
"Geez Mom, you make me sound like such a brat," I said, giving her a small smile and trying to hold all my feelings and emotions in.
"So tell me what's wrong?" my mom urged on.
I couldn't take it anymore. My emotions burst out from inside me like a river that ruthlessly breaks a dam. The tears started leaking out of my eyes before I could stop them.
"Everything," I whispered.
"Em, honey, what happened?" she said, concern taking over her face.
"I screwed things up, Mom. I hurt him, I - I hurt him so bad. I m-messed things up," I sobbed, throwing myself into my mother's arms.
She was shocked at first, but then she wrapped her arms around me, whispering words of comfort and assurance to me.
"Em, you're not making any sense, calm down, take it easy, breathe," she said, smoothing my hair in bids to calm me down.
Each tear that left my eyes reminded me of how much I hurt Lou. How I left without even explaining to Harry. How I just ran away from anything, just like a coward.
"It's okay sweetie, everything'll be okay," my mom continued, rubbing my back.
"No it won't Mom! I've ruined everything." I cried, my tears soaking her expensive posh businesswoman shirt, but she didn't appear to care at all.
"Em, calm down and tell me what happened,"
So I told her. I told her about how Harry randomly appeared at our doorstep three months ago, pleasantly surprising me. I told her about how I decided to go to London for a summer holiday, and ended up surprising the master of surprises himself. I told her about how Harry introduced me to his famous popstar bandmates, and how one particular bandmate caught my eye. I told her about how that particular boy asked me out and how he asked me to be his girlfriend. I told my mom about how he made me feel, how he was always with me, how he made me laugh and smile with his touch and tender kisses, how he literally lit up my world. I told her about some of our dates, smiling a bit at my memories as I narrated them. I continued and told her about how we all went on a camping trip and things fell apart when Harry kissed me. I even told her about Zayn, Mel and Liam, and their love triangle. I told her about how I broke up with Lou and ran away.
I told her everything, right from the start till the very end, and she patiently listened, squeezing my hand in encouragement from time to time when I paused to keep the tears in.
"And that is how I royally screwed up," I said softly.
"Em, honey," my mom said sympathetically, wrapping her arms tighter around me. I looked up and was surprised to see that her own eyes were glistening with tears. She wiped my tears away tenderly with her hand, and hugged me.
I had never shared a moment like this with my mom before. She hadn't hugged me properly like this since I was...what, twelve maybe?
I realized how much I actually missed my mother, how there had always been a missing mother figure in my teenage life, how much I actuallly wanted her to be with me. I always thought I hated my mother, for neglecting me, for having such a busy profession, for never being around like a normal mother. But I was just angry at her for not being there when I needed her most.
"Em, I'm so sorry," she whispered as she pulled away.
"Sorry for what?"
"Not being here when you needed me the most. I know that I've been the worst mother ever. I always picked work over you, I have never given you the time and attention you deserve." she said, looking down.
"Mom -"
"I find it shameful that I don't even know your favourite colour. I didn't realize when you grew up. Look at you Em. You've turned into such a beautfiul and wonderful person. I'm proud to call you my daughter, I really am. I'm not close to you at all, I don't know so much about my daughter, but I want to. I want to be there for you, Em. I've realized where I went wrong."
"Mom, it's okay. I forgive you." I said, "And for the record, my favourite colour is purple," I added with a small smile.
Forgive and forget - that's the way forward, right?
"I'm sorry for missing all the important moments in your life," she continued, "Your graduation, your -"
"You didn't miss much there, I missed that too," I laughed lightly.
"You ditched your own graduation?" she asked in disbelief.
"Yep." I nodded.
"Okay then, I take my apology back," Mom smirked.
"Mom, it's okay. I forgive you. We'll work on the future okay?" I said.
"Done deal," my mom agreed, a small grin on her face.
I smiled.
I had my mom back.
Atleast something good happened this week.
"Em?" my mom said, interrupting my thoughts.
"Yeah?" I answered, looking up at her.
She took a deep breath before saying, "Dear, I know what you're going through. Trust me, you may think I don't, but I understand."
I sighed, looking down at my lap and fiddling around with my fingers.
"Love, life's not that easy. Life is far more complicated than it seems. But you need to be strong and face it," my mom continued, squeezing my hand gently.
"I've definitely learnt that," I muttered.
"Don't make the mistake I made. I was once at the same exact spot as you, and I picked the wrong guy. That's how I lost your father." she said, her eyes shining with regret and a sad smile on her face.
I looked up at her, biting my lip.
"Go with your heart, and not your head. I'm sure you know what to do," my mom said knowingly.
But the truth was that I didn't.
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This might have been a little boring, but it's important for the plot that's still remaining :)
There are just three more chapters to go now till the end :/
But they're going to be interesting haha ^.^
Vote, comment and fan if you like what you read :) xx