Heyooooo attendance here!
Natasha POV
Gwen. Her name was Gwen.
When I step back into the party, I play with my fingers to avoid having them shake repeatedly. I spot Jayce going back to Loralai but her smile has disappeared, making Loralai frown in worry.
I keep my eyes on them and see the bitch look over to me with an angry glint in her eyes. She smirks when she leans up to hug Jayce and I huff, feeling an uneasy churning of my stomach. Something isn't right.
"Something's not right," I hiss into Wanda's ear as I grab her hand and drag her out of the room.
She widens her eyes as I march us to my bedroom, "Woah, Natasha. I really like you and all but not like–" "Oh shut up," I roll my eyes.
I close the door behind us and turn to her, leaving her confused.
"What? What are you doing?"
"Loralai. Something's not right."
"What do you mean?"
"I need you too look inside her head," I smile hopefully but Wanda shakes her head, wagging her finger in my face.
"Nope! No can do. Just because you are jealous of Jayce and her does not mean that I will invade her thoughts!"
"Wanda I'm serious! This isn't about Jayce. It's about her. I don't trust her. She has an accent, okay?"
The Sokovian raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms over her chest challengingly, "Go on. What is wrong with an accent?"
Oh sweet Jesus. Tread carefully Natasha, Wanda's drunk.
"I did not peg you for a judgmental person, especially not when you are from Russia and used to have an accent yourself."
"Oh please, Wanda. That's not what I meant. I am saying that she has an accent, I am pretty confident it's German but that doesn't even matter. What matters is that she's been masking it. Why would she hide an accent in front of everyone?"
"Maybe because there are people like you who judge people with accents," She rolls her eyes but I sigh, rubbing my forehead in frustration.
"No. Okay, just...listen. I can smell a fake from a mile away and I am telling you that something is off with that girl. She glares at me every chance she gets, she hates being around all of us at once. Her and Jayce disappear to her room every time they come back but Loralai always looks around the compound on the way to her room. It's like she's searching for something. Just...please, take a look. I need to see if I'm right."
"Natasha..." "Wanda this is Jayce we are talking about. If she's in danger..." I trail off, hoping that I can get her on board and when she takes it in she gulps and nods.
"Fine."
Smiling, I lead us outside but we stay back to keep away from peoples' eyes and she sighs, "I still don't think this is right. We won't find anything."
"Just do it."
Wanda bites her lip anxiously but nods nonetheless and focuses her gaze on Loralai. I watch as Wanda's eyes flicker to their red shade as her fingers glow with red mist. She closes her eyes, reading into Loralai's thoughts. Wanda's eyebrows pull together, her mouth dropping open as she gasps in surprise.
"What is it?" I urge but she doesn't answer. She keeps looking until she whines and cries out, stumbling backwards as she releases her magic, falling into my arms.
I settle her on the ground, sitting her up against the wall, looking around for any witnesses before I place a gentle hand on her cheek.
"Tell me what you saw."
Wanda places her hand on her chest as she tries to catch her breath, shaking her head with wide, red glowing eyes.
"She...she's HYDRA. She was sent to us on a mission. She is trying to infiltrate, hack our systems...kill us."
"And she knew I was the only one skeptical of her. That's why she doesn't like me. Shit." I breathe out and look at the ground, trying to gather my thoughts, then whip out my phone.
"What are you doing?"
"Her name. I knew it was strange. She's HYDRA and she's not that old, she must've been raised there...yep." The results pull up and I show Wanda the screen as we read it.
"Loralai refers to a siren who lures sailors to shipwreck and death."
"Her name literally means she seduces people in order to kill them. She wants to kill Jayce once she gets her guard down enough."
Wanda looks up at me with watery eyes, shaking her head furiously as the fear of losing her best friend sets in. The fear of this woman trying to kill us all. If she's been HYDRA all along, she's been gathering intel on us, probably feeding it back to them.
Crap, I knew I should've looked into her sooner. Even if I couldn't find much, Clint knows how to work this stuff and he taught me everything I know about being a spy. I know the codes, I know how to hack a system.
I could've found this sooner.
"What do we tell Jayce?" I mumble and Wanda breathes out nervously once again, "She needs to know. This woman is putting us all in danger. She managed to sneak by all of us. I don't know how she managed to trick Stark."
"She's a trained agent that is undercover. She must have been able to fake her information that FRIDAY checked up on. Same thing I did when I first met Tony. It's brilliant."
I peer back around the wall and see Jayce smiling again with Loralai but my blood boils. This whole time she's been tricking Jayce, trying to build her trust only to destroy it and hurt us all.
"I'm going in," I mumble but Wanda grabs my hand, "Maybe you shouldn't."
My head snaps back to the Sokovian who uses my hand to pull herself up and steady herself.
We jump when people start screaming, cheering. Probably at something Tony did with the stupid suit. I roll my eyes and focus back on Jayce, not wanting her to leave my sight.
"You and Jayce aren't exactly on the best terms. She'll listen to me before she listens to you. I can do it."
"Okay fine. But when, I doubt she'll want to leave the party again."
Wanda steals a look inside again and groans, shaking her head and looking back at me.
"Then we'll just have to stay close by until everyone leaves. We get her alone later tonight and talk to her. From what I could read, Loralai told Jayce she can't stay the night tonight so she'll be leaving at the end of the party. We stick around them until then and talk to her after."
I nod and breathe out shakily, the concern and worry filling my veins. A HYDRA agent made its way through all of our security clearances and slept in one of our own's bed. Much as I care about Jayce and worry, I need to also keep a clear head, a professional head.
I need to channel my spy self, my SHIELD self. Can't just go back in there guns blazing, making a scene. I have to play it cool, act like everything is fine so that Loralai doesn't get suspicious and stay over, ruining everything. Or lash out, that'd be even worse.
We make our way back in, finding Tony and he drags me to play a game with him while Wanda makes conversation with Jayce. I make sure to keep them in ear shot, hearing Wanda asking Jayce to get lunch with her soon.
Jayce gladly accepts the offer and they start talking about their past together, things they used to do. I notice that Jayce doesn't mention their time locked up to Loralai, making me smile internally.
She doesn't trust her that much. If she did she would've told her about her past, but she hasn't. I focus back in on the stupid game and toss the ball in the cup, making Steve and Sam drink.
The night goes on like that for a while until everyone starts to disperse, leaving to their rooms, leaving the compound. It feels like this night has lasted years.
As Wanda and I help Vision clean, I can hear singing from down the hall. "O-Ophelia, you've been on my mind girl like a drug..." Wanda chuckles when we see Jayce coming into the room. I have to hide my smile from her and everyone else.
I love that song. And I love her voice. So great then, she's stunning, can shoot webs out of her wrists, and can sing. Just perfect.
"Oh hey," Jayce grins at Wanda who glances over at me briefly before sucking in a sharp breath, "Can we talk?"
"What? Uh, yeah, sure. What's up?"
"I meant in private."
My body goes rigid when Jayce reluctantly agrees and they go into a meeting room off to the side. I can see them slightly through the blinds and Vision hums in thought.
"I do not believe this exchange will go over well."
"What do you mean?" I look at the synthezoid who finishes wiping down the bar top and tilts his head towards the window where the other two are talking.
"Miss Parker is an angry person. She has a lot of past trauma she has yet to face head on. After the incident that went negatively between the two of you she has been searching for a distraction of some sort. She found what she needed in Miss Loralai who has turned out to be an agent of the organization her and Wanda were entrapped in. Miss Parker is a very odd human, she has little to no trust in anyone and I cannot say I blame her, although I do not experience such emotions myself, I can sense her fear of being hurt or abandoned. There are three people left in her life who have not done her wrong or have passed away."
I take in his words, trying to absorb what he has said and realize that he makes a good point. Jayce doesn't have many people left in her life. She lost Gwen, someone she loved that wasn't her blood family. That's a lot to take on, along with everyone else she has lost along the way.
"Miss Parker seems to be experiencing some sort of internal conflict. She worries that if she allows you into her heart, then her memories of Gwendolyne Stacy will be diminished to nothing."
No wonder she freaked out. And I pushed her too far. She's scared that she'll forget Gwen, that I'll replace her. But that isn't what I want to do, it's the last thing I want to do. I didn't even know Gwen was her name, nor did I know she died. I thought it was just some nasty breakup.
I need her to know that talking about Gwen around me isn't going to scare me or push me away. She can still think about her or talk about her. She hasn't given herself the chance to heal, and that starts with actually talking about her out in the open, not confining the memory of Gwen to her own heart and mind.
That's too much for a person to handle.
"Just shut up! You're wrong! Did Natasha put you up to this?!" The door opens and I jump up when I hear my name.
A red-faced Jayce comes out of the room, glaring daggers at me. If looks could kill...
"You. You want to just ruin me, don't you?"
No. No I do not.
"Jayce that isn't–" "You're pissed that I'm sleeping with someone else? Huh?! That I kiss her, touch her, make her scream my name?"
"That's enough, Jayce," Wanda scolds but Jayce raises a hand and scoffs, nearly laughing as she looks me over in near disgust.
I want to run as far away from here. I never want her to look at me like that. She's looking at me like she wants to throw me down a well and keep me there forever, like I am not good enough to be looked at.
Someone told me that once, and I believed them.
But no, she is just angry and hurt. She is lost.
Do not run away, Natasha.
I hold my composure, refusing to cry in front of her and the other two. I can't. I am trying to help her. I can't let her words affect me. She's just angry. Even though her words sting like hell and cut right through me, I need to try and remember that.
"You're so jealous that you came up with some crazy ass story that she's a HYDRA agent?"
"I know it looks that way but Jayce I am serious. Wanda looked in her head and her name literally translates to a woman that lures people to their death by seducing them! She is using you to hurt you and the rest of the team."
"You sound insane, both of you," She shakes her head and goes to walk away but Vision steps in, placing a gentle but warning-like hand on her shoulder.
"I think you should listen to them. They do not speak without reason. When Wanda spoke to me I went through everything I know and found Miss Loralai's files. They are tainted. The files on her were created two Tuesdays ago, before she met you. You and the Avengers are her mission. Miss Romanoff had an inkling and looked into it, finding the right reasons to be concerned. Whether it stemmed from the unresolved conflict between the two of you or not, she was right to listen to her own concerns."
I want to hug Vision at this moment. If Wanda and I couldn't convince Jayce to listen, someone with an unbiased view and insurmountable knowledge on nearly everything definitely can.
She looks at me and sighs, "So she's a HYDRA agent that wants to kill me?"
"And the rest of us. She knew I was onto her from the start, that's why she hates me. I hated her for many reasons," I smirk slightly, crossing my arms over my chest and Jayce releases a low, nearly silent laugh before smiling briefly.
"So now what? We aren't in a relationship so I just...ghost her? Change the security system? Make sure FRIDAY doesn't let her in?"
"I have already alerted Mr. Stark's systems and facial recognition have been uploaded so that even if she were to go under another alias, the scans would refuse her entry."
Jayce nods slowly and lowers herself to sit down on a stool, groaning as she drops her head into her hands.
"I am such an idiot. I put everyone in danger just because I was thinking with my dick."
Tilting my head, I begin to walk over but keep my distance far enough away to prevent aggravating her or stressing her out more before leaning over the counter to get a loot at her face.
"It isn't your fault. I shouldn't have acted how I did, I caused you so much pain that you acted on it and whether or not it was to get even with me, it's my fault. I am sorry, Jayce."
For a moment I worry she will yell again or lash out at me, but she doesn't. She just shakes her head and looks up at the other two, "Can we have the room please? We'll finish cleaning up."
Wanda nods and kisses Jayce's forehead before walking away with Vision who looks at me with a soft, reassuring nod. Man that synthezoid really knows how to get to people, huh?
I am surprised he is so in touch with humans, Wanda must be helping him with that.
"You hurt me, but I also hurt you. I am sorry for how I have been acting lately...and I'm sorry for what I said earlier."
"We both said some things," I try to reason, try to get my apology out but she interrupts me.
"Please, don't apologize. You didn't know about Gwen. You got scared, I get it. You were right, I was comparing you to her...guess I'm just worried that if I truly let myself..."
She trails off, staring down at her fingers before shaking her head, wiping at her eyes even though nothing has fallen yet and clears her throat.
"Move on? I guess? I don't know. If I do that...I might forget her. I don't want her thinking I've forgotten her."
My heart aches for the woman in front of me. I just want to hug her and never let her go. I have never felt so vulnerable with someone before, I have never felt like this before, sure I've felt protective over someone in the past, I loved them deeply, but this is different than that. It's more than the relationship that was, it has other emotions tied in.
I watch as the gears turn in her head, her anger fighting against her real self. She's fighting with the walls she has up, she wants to take them down but she is so haunted, so traumatized, just like I am.
"You won't forget her," I whisper and move closer. Cautiously, though, not wanting to scare her off.
She glances at my hand and reaches over, breathing out shakily as our skin touches. I suck in a sharp breath at the contact, the first genuine contact we've had in a while.
"I'm sorry," She whispers but her voice is so weak, I can tell she's about to cry so I pull her into me, her head burying into my chest as I hug the woman seated beside me.
"Don't apologize. I understand. I'm sorry too."
"Call it even?" She whimpers into me, gripping onto my top as she attempts to stop her tears.
"Call it even," I agree and we pull away. I wipe her tears with my thumbs and smile as I hold her beautiful face in my hands, feeling my heart beginning to pick up pace in my chest.
She looks at me, like really looks at me, and smiles.
When her gaze flickers to my lips my heart beats even faster, I can feel my lips tingling with the desire to feel hers against them again, my arms buzz with want to wrap around her. My head feels light when she starts to lean in.
My hands, still on her cheeks, almost twitch with nerves and excitement when she stops just millimeters away from a kiss.
I hold back a whine and look deeply into her gorgeous eyes, seeing the fear behind them as her lips tremble.
"Can we stop running because of our fears now?"
Quickly, I nod and swallow a thick lump in my throat, "We can try."
The corner of her lips twitch up before she breathes out and nods, gulping before she closes the gap, setting off a series of fireworks in my belly at the contact.
I use my hold on her face to pull her in deeper, wanting to take in the moment, wanting for it to never end.
We are finally getting somewhere. A real place. I want her, and I want her to want me back.
She wants me back. I can see it, I can feel it. She is terrified, I am terrified. We both have dark pasts but that doesn't mean our futures cannot be bright.
I can still wipe out my ledger and she can move on from her past while not forgetting.
We can do it together. We can be a team.
I want her to be on my team.
Her hands land on my lower back, between the two piece set. The coldness of her skin makes me shiver but I don't dare break the kiss. I swipe my tongue along her bottom lip, asking for permission.
When she parts her lips, I smile into her and push my tongue into her mouth, swirling against hers as we breathe deeply through our noses.
I can hear her whimper into the touch, building my confidence when I pull away to not get carried away.
"Bet Loralai didn't kiss you like that, huh?"
Jayce chuckles and shakes her head when she looks up at me, a wide smile on her face. When she breathes out I swear I can see thousands of pounds of weight lifting off her shoulders.
"Doesn't even come close, Sweetheart."
I giggle and move my hands to the back of her head, scratching it soothingly. I watch as she closes her eyes every few seconds, seemingly sleepy from my current actions and smile down at her.
"How about we go to my room and actually sleep?"
When she opens her eyes again, she nods with a soft yet adorable grin, "I'd love that."
I reach my hand out and she takes it, walking to the elevator to head up to the hallway of rooms. She excuses herself to get changed into a t-shirt and boxers while I change into sweats and a tee.
When she comes back, she yawns and crawls under my covers, humming in satisfaction when her head hits the pillow.
I stare at her for a moment, taking in her features, appreciating every aspect of her before a thought comes to mind.
"What was she like?"
Jayce, with her eyes closed, mumbles out, "Hmm?"
"Gwen. What was she like?"
Now she opens her eyes, one eyebrow raised as she looks at me, "Seriously?"
I shrug, feeling my cheeks get red nervously as I play with my sweatpants' strings.
"Yeah. What was she like?"
She seems taken back by this, as if no one has ever asked her something like this before. It hurts my heart but when she starts to smile, it makes me do the same. She sits up a bit more, looking up at the ceiling thoughtfully as she rubs her eyes to wake up more.
"Well...she was...the smartest person I've ever met. I mean seriously, she was at the top of the class. Valedictorian, actually. I was salutatorian, it was a constant battle between us. But she won, like usual."
I giggle as she starts speaking about her, seeing how her eyes light up, happy that she gets to talk about her. It brings a warming feeling inside of me, seeing her so relaxed again, like she's finally breathing.
"She was stubborn. And I mean really stubborn. Like wouldn't take no for an answer ever. She always wanted to help me, even when I thought it was too dangerous...and funny. She was very funny. Sarcastic, funny, you know? Like one time we were running from security guards, and she pulled us into a maintenance closet to hide out–" "That's like the most cliché hiding place!" "That's what I told her!" Jayce starts laughing and I swear it feels like I am floating on cloud 9.
"I told her that, I swear. And then she gave me some sarcastic ass remark back. She said, and I quote, 'Oh, I'm sorry, that I didn't take us to the Bahamas of hiding places.'" I smile, enjoying hearing about Gwen.
I would've liked her, for sure. We definitely would've gotten along.
"She said loving me is like wanting to kill me with electricity, because that's what Electro wanted to do to me when I first officially met him...in his villain era."
Now I laugh again, "She sounds fantastic."
Jayce laughs with me and nods, "Yeah. She is...was. Sorry, she was." Her face kind of falls now. I lean over and kiss her forehead, "She's still here, Jayce."
She nods shakily and blinks away forming tears, then smiles at me, "She would've liked you. She does, actually. I talk to her sometimes, see her. I know that sounds crazy but–" "It's not crazy. I promise."
She nods again and clears her throat, "But yeah...you guys would've been friends. Would've given me one hell of a headache though."
I laugh again and pat her cheek, "Sounds about right."
When our laughter dies, we settle in comfortably, just looking at each other before she leans over and kisses me sweetly.
"What was that for?" I whisper and she just smiles.
"Thank you. For listening. No one has really ever asked me about Gwen. I don't remember the last time I talked about her out loud before."
My heart flutters at that. God I want to kiss her and never stop.
"You can always talk about her with me. I want to get to know her. She sounds incredible."
"She was. She was the first person to actually accept me at school. When people found out about my...body, they gave me hell for it. Gwen stood up for me, protected me. I fell for her fast. I got lucky that she fell right alongside me."
"You were both lucky to have been loved by one another. I should thank her for being there for you before I ever got the chance to."
She smiles at me again and pulls me into her, adjusting so that I can lay my head on her chest.
"You are doing things to me, Romanoff. Pretending to hate you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
I chuckle at that, "You didn't have to, you know."
I can feel her shrug before she responds, "I know but you pissed me off and I felt like I had to."
Lifting my head, I kiss her again before snuggling back into her, "I really am sorry. No one's ever really called me beautiful and meant it before. It was always ever 'sexy' or 'hot' or some drunks would call me beautiful just to get in my pants. And when you said it scared me a little bit...a lot a bit. I got freaked out. Got worried that I'd ruin it and that worry actually made me ruin it."
She sighs and starts playing with my hair, making me hum and flutter my eyes closed.
"You didn't ruin anything. I'm right here."
I smile at that, my heart doing the thing again before I place my hand on top of hers on her stomach and entwine our fingers together.
"I'm here too."
"It's you and me, Romanoff."
I move my head up again to look down at her eyes and see that same look she gives me that fills my soul up, makes me feel like I'm completely and totally understood for a change. Like she is seeing through every single wall I've ever put up and touching each and every flaw, turning them to gold.
"It's you and me, Parker."
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A/N: *cough cough* their catchphrase *cough cough*
What we thinking?
What will happen?