LILIANNA'S POV
My grandmother stands with her back to me in our small kitchen. Her floral apron tied to her as she leans over a large pot heating on top of the stove. I expect to smell some amazing aroma from her cooking but instead I smell a slight chemically scent in the air. She must've just cleaned the kitchen.
Her small home isn't much to look at, but the amount of comfort I get from the faded patterned wallpaper that lines the walls and the checkered tiled floor is so nostalgic. A faint beep reverberates every so often in the background, maybe it is the washing machine signalling a load is complete. I walk towards the grey headed lady humming to herself quietly as she stirs the contents of her large pot. I recognise the tune, it's the intro song from the show Friends. I didn't know my grandmother knew it, or even watched such shows.
She doesn't seem to notice my approach so I begin to hum along behind her. Grandma Mera chuckles softly, the sound almost brings me to my knees. I haven't heard that sweet laugh for some time.
"Whatcha making?" I ask coming to stand next to her. She turns to me, grey eyes smiling over her thick framed glasses.
"Your favourite. Ribollita." She smiles at my reaction of me dramatically salivating.
"I can't wait." I grin but she shakes her head.
"You're going to have to. It won't be ready for quite some time, Lilianna." My grandmother says and I frown down at the pot she stirs.
"It looks ready to me?" I disagree softly and my grandmother turns to me.
"It will be ready for you my dear, when you are ready to stay here." Her hand comes to hold my arm and although her touch is gentle it feels strangely tight.
I glance down at her touch then back to her confused.
"What do you mean? I am staying Grandma." I insist but she just smiles that warm smile and shakes her head.
"No, darling Lilianna. It is not your time yet. But I'll be here, waiting for you. We all will be." She says softly.
We? What is she talking about? That faint beeping from before begins to get louder.
"What are you...?" I begin to ask but her hand drops from my arm even though I can still feel the pressure of her touch on it.
"It's time for you to go back now darling." She smiles and I shake my head. Go back where?
"No. No I don't want to go. I want to stay here with you." I contend but she just stays smiling at me.
"We love you." She says as two other figures join us in the kitchen while the beeping gets louder in my ears. I get a quick glance at the people who have joined us and my heart flutters as tears begin to form in my eyes.
"Mum? Dad?" I ask even though I know it's them. Evangelina and Jacob Kapley stand together holding hands right before me. My knees shake as they both smile at me and there's nothing more I want right now then to hug them both but something is happening that stops me.
"No!" I protest as some kind of force begins to drag me away from them all.
"It's okay baby. We're always with you." My mother says to me, hearing her voice for the first time since I was very, very young has all kinds of emotions rushing through my body but I'm unable to properly processes them as my family fade away with the surrounding of my Gran's kitchen right in front of my eyes.
Everything is dark.
I can still hear that rhythmic beeping, along with other noises as my ears slowly tune in. Laughing? I can hear laughing. Canned laughter I think, it's like the type you hear in the background of television sitcoms. The beeping is prevalent, in fact I can hear multiple machines ticking and humming away in the dark.
The chemical smell comes through again, it's very strong making my nose and throat itch uncomfortably. That weird sensation on my arm is still present and it takes me a moment to comprehend all of the sensations now aching at my body. I feel sore and stiff all over.
What is wrong with me?
Where am I?
What happened?
The last thing I remember was ...
I was going somewhere wasn't I? Yes, that's right I was in my car going somewhere... I was looking for something ...
Seven.
As soon as his name pops into my thoughts it all comes rushing back to me. The club, talking to Penny and Kitty. Passing Destiny on my way out, her dirty hands ...
My breaks stopped working. I was driving in my car and the breaks failed and I was hit by a large truck.
Oh god. I try to speak but it's hard to get the words out. I need to open my eyes, I need to wake up. But I already am awake, I just don't know how to get my body to react to being awake. It takes some time for my body to react to the signals my brain is sending.
Open your eyes. Open your eyes Lily.
I keep repeating to myself and slowly, they begin to blink in response. It takes me a couple tries but slowly the bright fluorescents from above shine through my lashes. It's so bright, too bright. With a few more blinks my eyes begin to focus on the scene in front of me.
The white walls, the white panelled ceiling, the beeping machines surrounding the bed I lay in. A small television is on in the corner of the room, I recognise the show immediately, Friends.
Looking down at myself I notice the source of the sensation in my arm as a needle is tapped into a vein in the crook of my elbow, attached to an IV that stands by my bed. The uncomfortable itch in my nose and throat is from a breathing tube apparatus. I can't move my head much, in fact I can't move my neck at all to look around and realise it's in a brace.
What shocks me most about the scene before me are the two girls that sit either side of my bed. Both their attention on the television as they watch the show, totally unaware of my conscious state. Mesha and Tiffany laugh along with the show together and banter lightly back and forth.
I try to speak but what comes out is a scratchy, undecipherable groan. But it does the job as they both whip their heads around to stare at me. Shock covers both their faces and if I weren't in such a state I could laugh.
"Lily?" Mesha asks leaning forward and grabbing my hand.
"Oh my god, you're awake!" Tiffany says and leans over me to press something above my head. A small bell sounds and almost instantly a nurse enters the room with us.
"She's awake!" Tiffany says the same time Mesha says,
"She just woke up and groaned."
The nurse walks right to my side, checking over the monitors surrounding my bed.
"Okay, now Lily can you hear me?" The nurse asks, her bright blue eyes staring down at me. I try to nod but the brace stops me so I just hum a yes.
"You're okay sweetie, you've been in an accident but you're okay now. I'm just going to get the doctor and I'll be right back okay. Just stay calm for me and we'll be right back." She says before disappearing.
"Holy shit Lily you had us all fucking scared." Mesha says and moves up closer to me.
"Don't say that, you'll freak her out. The nurse just said she needs to stay calm." Tiffany lightly scolds Mesha who just rolls her eyes. I try to tell them I remember what happened, that I know I'm in the hospital but the damn tube in my throat is making it difficult to say anything but incoherent groans and mumbling.
The nurse returns this time with a grey haired man dressed in a normal pale blue button up and slacks. A laminated identification card is clipped to his breast pocket and a stethoscope hangs around his neck. He holds with him a clipboard and I gather that this is the doctor.
"Miss Kapley, it's nice to see you awake." The doctor smiles at me and introduces himself.
"You may be a bit confused and disoriented but rest assured that you're in a safe place. You were in a car accident, a very serious one that put you here at Saint Luke's Hospital. Are you in any discomfort at all?" He asks and I groan a response. Unsure of what I mean he suggests a form of Morse code in blinks for me to communicate. One blink for yes, two blinks no. Once I tell him I'm feeling okay and just a little uncomfortable he explains the extent of my injuries. I have a broken femur and ankle, fractured wrist with two broken fingers, five broken ribs, a broken collarbone and severe whiplash with moderate brain injuries. I've been in a coma for nearly three weeks.
"Now we've already done a lot of tests to check on what's going on inside your head. Our CAT scans haven't shown anything alarming but you did receive some moderate brain injuries from the accident. There is a lot of swelling but we could not find any bleeding which is a great sign. However going forward you will need to complete a few more tests for us so we can determine if any kind of damage has occurred for things like memory and motor control. Don't worry, we won't be needing to do these till you're feeling a little bit stronger. For now though, we'll get these tubes out so you're able to speak a little better." The doctor explains.
When he leaves he assures me he'll be back in a few hours to check up on me again while the nurse is aided by another new nurse to remove the tubes. The feeling of the removal makes me want to gag and sneeze at the same time but it's over within a few minutes. They give me some water to drink from a white styrofoam cup and straw before leaving to let Mesha and Tiffany fuss over me.
"Do you want me to raise your bed up a little?" Tiffany asks and eventually I am able to respond verbally. My voice sounds so scratchy and hoarse but a simple yes manages to sound.
"Do you know what happened, Lil?" Mesha asks and I look to her. I hope she can see the warning in my eyes that I don't want to talk about somethings in front of Tiffany. But I respond with another yes, this time a little clearer and she nods.
"Now I know you're probably freaking out about a bunch of things but I just want to tell you that we've sorted everything on this end of life. All you need to focus on is getting better so you can return to study." Tiffany says and fluffs up a pillow behind me.
Study? Oh my god. It hadn't even crossed my mind. I didn't pay for my classes. I've missed the deadline and if I've been in a coma for three weeks that means classes have already started! Oh god.
The worry must be evident in my face as Mesha shakes her head.
"No don't worry Tiffany's sorted it all." She says and grabs my hand in comfort.
"What?" I croak looking over at Tiffany as she sits back down on the other side of me.
"My father has paid for your classes and spoke with the university, they're aware of your accident and will allow you to start your classes when you're ready through a private tutor. They're also willing to do online correspondence while you're here if you're up for that." Tiffany smiles.
What the hell? I mean, this is an incredibly big weight lifted off my shoulders but I was not expecting this. This is a lot, even for Tiffany's family. When I begin to protest Tiffany shakes her head.
"Now don't bother to reject it it's already paid for and sorted. My father insisted." She smiles and I can't help but think her fathers actions are out of guilt for me catching him at the club that time. Even so, I am grateful for this. Hugely.
"And I canceled your lease on your apartment." Mesha begins and I look over at her.
"I moved all your stuff in with me. And when you're ready we can find a new place together or you can find somewhere else on your own if you'd like." She says and gives me a look that says the rest of what she can't say in front of Tiffany. She's done this because of fears for my safety. So that those men will not know where I am and won't be able to get me. Victor's men. Seven's men.
The thought of Seven makes my chest hurt but not the same way it does from my injuries. And for the first time since I woke up I can feel that empty hole there, the void he's left. Does he know what happened to me? Has he come to see me?
"Have I ..." I begin and clear my throat.
"Has anyone come to visit while I've been like this?" I ask and Mesha's eyes drop to the bed before she gives me a little head shake even though Tiffany begins to tell me that Tom and her parents have been by. Even my boss Jeremy has stopped in a few times. But Mesha knows who I'm really asking for, and I won't lie it's crushing that he hasn't come to see me.
"You got some flowers dropped off though. Not sure by who the nurse said they were left at the front desk." Tiffany continues and stands to retrieve a bouquet of colourful flowers with a sealed card amongst them. She sets them down on the table next to me and hands me the card. I get my hopes up that maybe it's from Seven but when my mending hands carefully open the card those hopes are doused. A small message is written on the card and I begin reading.
No one has seen Destiny since the night of your accident. There's a shot in the flowers, take it for me when you wake up. For old times sake.
Love P & K.
It's from Penny and Kitty. Their card confirms the suspicion I already had in the back of my mind. It was Destiny, she did something to my car that night to stop my breaks from working. The black grease she had on her hands from messing with my car, her remarks about me not coming back to the club when I past her. If I'm honest I'm quite shocked at the extreme attempt she made against me. I knew she didn't like me but to go as far as messing with my breaks so that I crashed is extreme. But I'm glad the other girls haven't seen her since that night, hopefully she feels guilty about what she's done and is hiding out somewhere. Hopefully it's somewhere far away from me. I tuck the card back into the envelope and place it by my side in bed.
"Tiff, why don't you go grab us some coffees from the cafeteria, and maybe a juice for Lil?" Mesha says and Tiffany obliges, finding it validating to help in some way but being clueless that this is Mesha's attempt to get her away so we can talk in private. As soon as Tiffany leaves I ask Mesha.
"Have you heard anything from Seven? Are you sure he hasn't come to see me?" My voice is still scratchy but it's getting better the more I flex my vocal chords. She shakes her head.
"He hasn't come by babe. I haven't heard anything from him." She says regretfully.
"Maybe he doesn't know about my accident." I insist and she frowns.
"I'm pretty sure he does Lily." Mesha glances to the door.
"How did this happen? Do you remember anything?" She asks.
"It was one of the girls from the club. She fucked with my car while I was inside. No one has seen her since so I think she's skipped town."
"Shit. Well I'm glad she's gone." She nods.
"Have you... Have you tried to call Seven at all?" I ask and Mesha sighs.
"No Lily. He blocked my number remember? I think it's best you let him go now. You need to start moving on from this." Mesha tells me and I begin to protest.
"I can't-" But she interrupts me, her voice stern making me immediately shut up.
"For god sakes Lily! You were in a fucking coma and the guy didn't give a shit. He clearly doesn't want to see you, I wish you'd just give it up. If you had you wouldn't be here lying in a fucking hospital bed! We were all worried, so fucking worried about you and your still thinking about him? I'm sorry, I love you and as your friend I'm telling you you need to let it go. It's a lost cause, he's a lost cause. He's gone Lily, you need to accept that." Her words hurt but I know they only hurt this bad because it's the truth. He left me, and I got hurt trying to go after him and yet im still hanging on to some ridiculous hope that he'll come back for me. The tears well in my eyes.
"He left me Mesh, he promised he wouldn't but he did and now I have no one." I cry and her hand squeezes mine.
"Now that's just not true Lily! You have me, you have Tiffany. Her family were so worried about you. They were acting as if their own daughter was laid out in front of them when they've come to visit. Jeremy was sobbing when he first saw you, and I didn't take that man to be a crier. You're not alone. You have people who care about you, who love you." Mesha maintains and I sniff. She's right, again.
"I know, you're right. I'm sorry for saying that I just..." I don't know what to say.
"You just miss him. And that's totally normal. But you need to let him go. Or else this will hurt even more." Mesha says softly and I nod. Tiffany walks back into the room holding two coffees in takeaway cups and a juice bottle is tucked under her arm.
"Not much selection but I got you a black current." She says to me and I give her a weak smile.
The rest of their time here is spent with them both gossiping over what's happened the first week back on campus. I'm actually surprised at how well they're getting along and I get the feeling they've been working on building this mutual friendship while I've been laying in this bed unconscious. Them forging a friendship for my sake just goes to prove Mesha's statements of having people other than Seven who truly care about me.
When the doctor comes back in again he asks me to do a bunch of memory tests that are kind of in the form of games. He allows Mesha to stay a little longer with me during my assessment since Tiffany leaves for dinner at home.
"Are you on any kind of medications?" He asks scribbling notes down on his clipboard.
"No, other than my birth control nothing." I answer and he nods.
"Okay. Well just so you're aware you haven't had any birth control these last three weeks and there's a note here saying you were menstruating on the second week. Would you like us to add your birth control to your medications?" He asks.
"No, I'll just start it back up when I leave." The mood swings I go through when going on my contraceptive aren't worth the hassle when I've got rehabilitation to already get through while I'm here.
"As long as you are safe till you're back on it." He comments and I want to laugh at him. I'm in a hospital bed with multiple broken bones as well as a broken heart. There's no way I'll be sleeping with anyone for a very, very long time. Although I can contain my laughter, Mesha does not and cackles at the doctor.
"She's broken head to toe, Doc, how is she to manage some nookie." Mesha chuckles and the doctor smiles.
"You'd be surprised with what we deal with in here." He comments causing both Mesha and I to laugh. Before he leaves he ups my pain medication dose and the aches I feel over my body melt into a dull stiffness. It's about six in the afternoon when Mesha leaves and the nurses serve me my dinner.
The television continues to play sitcom after sitcom which helps distract my mind from wondering to the place it usually goes whenever I'm alone. I almost make it the entire time without those thoughts. Till I go to sleep. And my dreams are flooded by brown curls and piercing green eyes.
The days turn into weeks quite quickly in the hospital and my routine becomes pretty structured. I wake up at seven thirty, breakfast and medication is served at eight. Rehabilitation starts at nine, morning tea is served at ten thirty. I take online classes from eleven till one, I get lunch in between that. All my meals are the same weekly, Wednesday lunch is my favourite with grilled cheese and a blueberry muffin. At two I have physio and around three thirty the nurse comes to do memory and cognitive games. Around four is when Mesha or Tiffany stop by, some days it's both of them at the same time. They stay till dinner which is served at six and I watch television or study till I fall asleep. I go the entire day not allowing myself any thoughts about the angry but sweet man I knew. I don't bring him up to anyone and no one speaks of him to me. Instead I wait till my dreams to see him and he visits me every night without fail.
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