Before this chapter starts...
Happy Birthday to pr3ttypsyho
Y'all better wish them happy birthday ‼️
Alright now onto the chapter,
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Beyoncé Giselle Knowles
continued..
Beyoncé pulled away to look down at Onika, she was looking up at her as her chest heaved.
"I—I kissed you." Beyoncé said to herself in surprise. She rolled over on her back and looked down at herself.
"Holy shit I kissed you—and confessed my feelings—was that okay? That wasn't too much was it? I'm really sorry if it was." Beyoncé exclaimed panicking and Onika began shaking her head.
"N-No it was.." Onika trailed off trying to describe and Beyoncé was shrinking into herself.
What was she going to say?
Beyoncé was nervous—nervous out of her mind. She didn't want to loose Onika.
"It was what I wish my first kiss was like." Onika finally expressed peering up at Beyoncé and the blondes eyes widened in surprised.
"Dreamy—gentle—perfect.." She mumbled trying to find the best words to describe it and Beyoncé and her made eye contact again.
"..And about—what I said?" Beyoncé asked nervously and Onikas eyes widened. Now that was the part she didn't know how to respond to.
Onika gulped and looked away.
"I—Im not sure If I—like—well.. It's.." Onika stammered and Beyoncé smiled gently—trying her best not to be hurt by Onikas hesitation.
"I get it. You're going through a lot right now I probably shouldn't had even confused you like that." Beyoncé mumbled.
"No! No—well—yeah I'm confused but—I liked it—I really liked—it." Onika assured her. The two sat in silence—the sound of waves crashing in the background was the only sound that could be heard.
"I..I'm not sure if I—feel romantic feelings—towards you..?" Onika was trying to figure it out as she spoke.
Beyoncé just watched her with a small smile, she knew what it was like when she was confused.
She felt bad springing this on Onika.
"You don't have to figure it out right now—or ever if that's your choice I—-just—wasn't sure if I could go that long without confessing." Beyoncé mumbled.
She was sure she'd had a crush on Onika since she first saw her. She always recognized her as attractive, she loved her personality—how out going she was.
She would be lying if she said she wasn't a little hurt—it wasn't always like the movies. You don't always get a clear answer.
Beyonce began to get up and walk back to the house and Onika watched her with a sense of guilt overcoming her. She felt loss. She pressed her fingers to her lips.
She loved that kiss.
But she felt so bad—because she knew Beyoncé wasn't satisfied with her answer.
She felt tears blur her vision as she looked down into the disturbed sand, she let out a shaky breath.
"Did I ruin it?" She thought to herself, she wanted to break down again.
She felt a presence infront of her and she looked up to see Beyoncé, her hand held out with a light smile on her face.
"Let's get back inside and take our showers okay? I have sand in places It shouldn't be." Beyoncé said chuckling a bit and Onikas eyes widened.
"You—you aren't mad at me?" Onika asked in awe and Beyoncés head cocked to the side.
"Why would I be? I'm not mad Oni. At all. Let's go alright?" Beyoncé said gesturing to the house and Onika quickly nodded taking her hand.
The two held hands as they walked back to the house and Onika felt better in an instant.
The two took their showers, Beyoncé went first and got changed in the bathroom and so did Onika.
She put her socks and slippers on as she stepped out the bathroom, holding her clothes and towel in her hand.
She was nervous—she didn't know if Beyoncé really wasn't mad at her or not. She sighed and decided to take a detour.
She saw the familiar light on, and gave a light knock as she nibbled on the inside of her cheek.
"Yes, child?" She heard as she peeked through the door and smiled at her father who was sitting in a rocking chair reading with his glasses on.
"You look..funny." Onika said strolling in and he looked up at her. "And you look nervous. What are you bothering me about now?" He asked with a smile and Onika playfully rolled her eyes.
"You're so mean." She said sitting on his bed and he chuckled deeply before shutting the book he was reading.
He eyed her as she sat nervously, he noticed she was fidgeting.
"What's wrong?" He asked, "You were so happy and cheery earlier." He stated and she looked down at her trembling hands.
"I-I'm confused about something." She admitted looking at him. He quirked an eyebrow, "And what may that be?" He asked and she sighed.
"What does—a like—crush feel like? I know I'm an adult and it sounds so kiddy to say but—I-I haven't felt one—in awhile.." She mumbled.
He sat back for a second, examining her. "What have your past crushes felt like? Safaree?" He asked.
"I-I mean Safaree was..definitely something. He was my first boyfriend. And first..relationship." She mumbled.
"What did you think about before the relationship ended? What did you feel like when you first saw him?" Robert asked.
"I thought—he was kind of cute. After he asked me out about 5 times. And then I finally agreed and—it wasn't so bad so I..."
"You settled." He stated and she sighed. She definitely did.
"He didn't even take out on any dates after our first. Which was at a Fridays—on a friday." She mumbled.
"Well scratch that, what do you usually feel?"
"Uh—I feel like—my hearts gonna beat out of my chest. And I feel compelled to—watch them walk away when they don't bother to look my way. I think my last long term crush was in highschool." She mumbled.
"But-that's not what this feels like. That felt kiddy and it lasted for a few weeks. This feels like.." Onika gulped.
"I'm not sure what it feels like." She admited. She couldn't put it in words how she felt.
"Take time to figure it out. Get some rest." He stated and he made it sound so simple, and Onika sighed and nodded.
"O-Okay..I love you dad." She said standing up and he watched his daughter reluctantly walk to the door.
"Don't overthink about if you like her or not. I'm sure you'll figure it out Onika." He said opening his book up again and Onika paused.
"How—how do you know—-"
"Goodnight Onika." He stated indicating the conversation was over and Onika was still puzzled.
"W-What hold on—" She said and he cut her off again.
"Goodnight Onika." He sang with a smile and Onika slowly backed up out of his room before bumping into a body.
She felt that same body wrap their arms around her waist to make sure she didn't fall.
"You alright?" She heard the familiar soft, slighty southern voice that dripped like honey that managed to calm Onika down on several occasions.
She was speechless as she looked to her side to see Beyoncés head cocked to the side to meet Onikas eyes.
"I..was on my way downstairs to the little bed I made for myself. My stuff is in your room in a corner so you don't—trip on it or anything." Beyoncé said and Onika was more focused on the warmth pressing against her back.
"Are you—okay you haven't said a single thing since I started talking—and oh gosh I'm touching you again I'm sorry." Beyoncé said letting go of her.
Onika didn't mind the touch.
"You—we—we aren't sleeping together?" Onika asked and Beyoncés eyes widened a bit.
"Uh—not—tonight. I think—you have some stuff to think about and I don't want to cloud your judgement or anything." Beyoncé stated placing her hands in her sweatpants pockets.
Onika frowned, "But—please don't feel—sad. I just don't want to confuse you—or do anything stupid again." Beyoncé mumbled.
"I-I don't think the kiss was stupid." Onika stated shaking her head and the two shared eye contact before Beyoncé stepped back almost falling down the stairs.
"I-I should get to my bed—well couch—well it's your dads couch that I'm sleeping on-for tonight—or maybe next night—anyways good night—love you!" She said before walking down the stairs and walking halfway before turning back.
"I mean—I love you—but not like—romantically—like it's like a ya know um a statement—but I do love you! And it may be romant—ya know what? I'm going to stop talking goodnight! I love you!" She said before cringing again realizing she said the same thing.
"I mean I—"
"I-I think I get it Yonce." Onika said softly watching the tall blonde sweat.
"Yeah I-I uh—goodnight." Beyoncé stammered before waving a bit before walking to the couch.
Onika sighed before slowly walking to her room, she felt a headache coming on just thinking about everything.
She groaned opening her door, and surprisingly at the same time both young woman fell onto their respective sleeping places face first with the same groan.
"God." They said in sync
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"..and then you breath in and out—and stop being weird to each other ." Robert said referencing to the two young woman who were either glancing at each other every 2 seconds or avoiding eye contact.
Beyoncé was trying Yoga for the first time with Robert and Onika. Before hand she had to take a breather and reassess her thought process—and her morals in the bathroom when she saw Onika in yoga pants and couldn't immediately look away.
And now she's sitting cross cross on a long yoga all 3 of them are sharing.
She was kinda happy Robert was in the middle of them.
"Pull your legs and closer, this is called the butterfly." He stated and and Beyoncé pulled her legs in closer—and ended up falling into her back.
She heard a burst of laughter that quickly silenced and she eyed Onika who wasn't make eye contact her.
"Gosh you are clumsy. Both of y'all." He said standing up and Onika protested. "I am not—"
"I've had to catch you about 3 times and this is my second day here." Beyoncé stated and Onika groaned. "Who's the one laying on the mat right now?" She asked.
"Shut up shorty." Beyoncé said looking up at the sun, Beyoncé was still tired she didn't know Onika had to wake up at 5am almost everyday she was here.
"We'll get up lazies. We're going on a run." He stated and he rolled his eyes at the groans he heard.
"No complaining! Let's go!" He said and the two woman eyed each other.
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Onika watched Beyoncé wheeze as she laid out in the sand. "You good dummy?" She asked with a grin and Beyoncé stuck her middle finger up.
"F-Fuck you." Beyoncé said with a smile as she sighed on the sand. "Why do you do this shit everyday?" Beyoncé asked.
"Because old man jankins wants me to." Onika said.
"I am right here, and by the way Beyoncé she was wheezing and gasping for help after jogging half a mile." Robert stated and Beyoncé laughed as Onika blushed in embarrassment.
"Seriously? I ran a full mile and I'm on the ground you can't make fun of me!" Beyoncé said and Onika rolled her eyes.
"Whatever, you gonna lay there like a starfish or get up?" Onika asked and Beyoncé sighed.
"I think i'm gonna stay right here. Might sun bath—or get sun burnt. Y'all have fun." Beyoncé said with her thumbs up as she continued to lay in the sand.
Onika looked at her father who shrugged.
Onika handed Beyoncé her own water bottle; "You need it more than me." She said handing it to her and Beyoncé sat up and smiled.
"Thanks." She said taking it and her and Onika shared a soft smile, and Robert watched with a smirk on his face.
"Alright, let's get back to running Oni. Beyoncé don't get sunburnt." Robert warned and Beyoncé saluted him.
"Will not do Sir." She saluted.
"Alright but seriously I don't want you to get sunburnt. Get up when you can." Onika said seriously and Beyoncé grinned at Onikas soft command.
"Awww you care about me?"
"Alright shut up. Let's go dad." Onika said beginning to walk away and Robert laughed following her.
Robert and Onika jogged a bit to get away from Beyoncé and then stopped. She heard a little beeping sound coming from her dad.
"Hold on Ive gotta do this." He mumbled and Onika watched him pull out something from his bag. She watched in confusion.
"What are you..doing?" She asked as he slightly lifted up his shirt.
"Injecting this thing called insulin. This is a good time to have that conversation." He said sitting down.
"You have..diabetes?" She asked and he nodded casually, "Yeah. Found out about 6 months ago." He mumbled.
That was around the time Onika had so much going on that she isolated herself from practically everyone. Even before hand she didn't talk to her father often, after everything that happened when she was a kid. "I missed a lot." She mumbled.
"You did.." He mumbled putting his insulin away and he looked up at her when he noticed she got quiet.
"Hey! Hey hey hey—don't do that thing where you overthink and blame yourself. You had so much going on Onika the last thing you should've been worrying about was your boarderline deadbeat dad." He said shrugging.
"You..werent a deadbeat. Just—not the best." She mumbled sitting next to him.
"Say it like it was, don't give me sympathy. I was an addict—and that affected you guys heavily. I was a terrible father—and no amount of sorrys will change that." He stated.
Onika watched him; he really didn't want her to feel bad. He was saying it like it was—how he saw it. She smiled slightly—she did know he was sorry.
"Is that why you do this hippie stuff now?" She asked and he laughed.
"I don't just do this hippie stuff because I have diabetes. I do it because I'm old with diabetes." He stated shrugging.
"Now let's get into your little dilemma." He stated.
"W-Well I am confused about my feelings—for a certain—perso—"
"Please just say Beyoncé I'm a bit tired of this back and forth." He said sighing and Onikas eyes widened.
"I mean—you like her. Right?" Robert asked and Onika groaned, "I don't know!" She said looking up into the sky.
"Explain how she makes you feel." Robert stated and Onika sighed and thought about her, before smiling. Just thinking about her—made her feel a little less frustrated.
"She makes me feel so—warm. So comforted—I love when she holds me and I hate when I see her sad and I love her eyes. Their hazel but they look a little lighter and darker and certain situations."She said starting to explain.
"And she's just—so— so amazing dad." She mumbled.
"Sounds like a little more than a crush." He stated and she sighed. "I know! I know it does but if it's not a crush than what is it?" She asked looking at him for help.
She was confused and scared. Her father could see that.
"You have doubts. I can see that." He stated and Onika nodded. "W-What if she—" He cut her off right there.
"Don't ask me any "what if" questions. Those all stem from uncertainty—and you'll never be certain unless you directly address the problem or conflict—or what's causing you so much distress." He explained.
She watched him look out to the ocean, "If you're unsure—ask her. Don't be afraid of asking her." He stated and Onika nodded looking down at herself.
"I'm just afraid she won't like me anymore." Onika muttered.
"She drove 2 hours down here, waited a whole month which appeared to be agony for her—I mean you should see the way she looks at you. I used to look at your mother like that.." He said and Onika noticed he sounded a little sad.
"She..she looks at me?" She asked and Robert groaned.
"You young people man...stupid as hell." He mumbled and Onika objected.
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After their run, Robert attempted painting with the two. And ignored the way they were acting like children.
Onika looked at her canvas and the little stick figure she drew. She smiled at it a bit before peering over to Beyoncé.
"Show me yours." Onika mouthed and Beyoncé picked up her canvas to show her.
Instead of the beach it was a beautifully painted heart—it looked so nice and she blended the colors so perfectly and Onika was a little ashamed of her stick figure.
Beyoncé snapped her fingers to get Onikas attention again and showed her the letters on the side.
"I ♡ you"
Her eyes widened and she felt a blush spread across her face as Beyoncé grinned.
"Stop flirting behind me." Robert stated calmly painting.
The two giggled, they were supposed to be painting the beach.
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The day went by fast, faster than Onika would've liked. They swam again together, went to the store and Onika watched Beyoncé get confused the difference between types of pasta.
When she stepped out the bathroom again she saw Beyoncé holding a pillow getting ready to go down stairs.
"I'm gonna clock in for the night." Beyoncé said referencing to downstairs and Onika nodded softly before biting her lip.
She watched her go before calling out her name. "Beyoncé." She called and Beyoncé immediately turned around.
"Y-Yeah?" She responded and Onika gulped, "You—we—we can sleep together. Like in the same bed—like—well if you don't want to of course but—I just want to spend more time with you and—god just please." She mumbled and Beyoncé grinned.
"You don't have to beg me to sleep in the same bed as you. Come on. Wanna steal one of your dads Dvds again?" She asked and Onika nodded smiling.
The two were in Onikas room again, they watched really bad movies together but they enjoyed it. Onika really did cherish the time with Beyoncé—after not seeing her for long she didn't realize how much she really missed her.
The two laid on Onikas bed, as the tv played in the background.
"You know I—I really missed you. Like my days were so much longer and my breaks were so dull." Beyoncé said looking up at Onikas ceiling.
"How do you think I felt waking up at 5am and instead of seeing you I had to do army bootcamp?" Onika asked rhetorically and Beyonce started laughing.
"That wore me out—I mean doing that at 5am ever-day? Sounds like shit. I had fun doing it with you though." Beyoncé admitted and Onika blushed again.
She took a deep breath and turned on her side to see Beyonces side profile.
"Can I tell you a secret?" She asked quietly and Beyonce nodded. "Sure." Beyoncé said also turning on her side looking at Onika.
"I..I'm scared. Of—this." Onika whispered and Beyonce listened, worry evident in her being.
"I'm scared of..you. Not—liking me—"
"I don't mean to interrupt but I thought I made it pretty obvious that..I like you. Like—girlfriend like you." Beyoncé said nursing her chin in her hand.
Onika blushed deeper. Beyoncé took Onikas hand. "If you don't—feel the same—please just say that—I-I don't want to make you feel bad in anyway. Id still be your friend if your comfortable with that—"
Suddenly she felt soft lips on hers again.
Those soft lips that felt like pillows, softer than the ones Beyoncé was on at the moment.
Beyoncé could tell Onika was tense as she did it. She decided—as Onikas lips were on hers to hold hold her hand—and rub her thumb gently in circles as she pulled away.
"You didn't have to do that." Beyoncé said softly. She knew Onika was confused and conflicted.
"But I—I really wanted to." Onika admitted looking at her.
"I—I like you. too! I like you too. I love when—when we hold hands—and I've never had a kiss that made me feel like that." Onika confessed.
Beyoncé felt her own heart beat a bit faster at Onikas confession. She could tell there was more as she caressed Onikas cheek.
"T-The point is—neither have made me feel the way you do. You make me feel so—important. You make me feel like—I'm worth something for the first time in a long time." Onika said with tears in her eyes.
"I—I like you. It sounds so kiddy too say but—I like like you.." Onika trailed off and she felt a hand caress her cheek.
I—I've only felt romantic feelings twice in my life." Onika admitted as she watched Beyoncé carefully examine her.
"A-And the first time was..short lived. And turned into something it shouldn't had. The 2nd time was just a silly crush that turned into a relationship." Onika began explaining.
"I'm just—scared. I have all these doubts and worries and—the only relationship I've been in—I fucked that you big time.." Onika mumbled and Beyoncé immediately objected.
"That wasn't your fault." Beyonce said softly; and Onika let out another shaky sigh.
"But—I gave my virginity to some random guy after I blacked out—the one thing he really wanted to experience with me and I-I threw it all away and I don't want to mess it up with you."Onika mumbled.
Beyonces eyes widened. She herself got upset whenever she thought of what Onikas has been through.
"First of all—he didn't believe you. And if that's the first thing he bring up when he found out about..what happened to you—then his priorities clearly weren't in order." Beyoncé stated seriously.
"Your health is my priority—you are my priority. Wether that progresses to something else or we stay as friends—you'll be my priority." Beyoncé said and Onika felt her eyes blur.
"Second of all—I'm so sorry that—that was your first experience with something—sexual. Sex is supposed to be intimate—and loving—and—and that wasn't what it was for you and I'm so sorry." Beyoncé said and Onikas bottom lip quivered hearing Beyoncé speak to her so gently.
"But that wasn't—sex. Virginity refers to—your first time having sex. That was rape. What happened to you was rape and that wasn't your fault." Beyoncé said and Onika sobbed. She sobbed hard—harder than Beyonces ever seen.
"Onika.." She soothed and Onika started hiccuping.
"L-Lauren did it too." She cried into her shoulder and Beyoncé was a little confused. "Lauren did what?" She asked softly.
"She—she t-touched me. Without—without my permission. I mean I was—I was high every damn time and I found out you can't—consent under the influence and I don't remember seeing saying yes—I never remember anything!" Onika cried and Beyoncé felt anger bubble inside of her.
"T-The first time I was just sad and drunk and she was drunk and we—we slept together. And then it happened again—and again..and as it kept going on I-I wasn't happy. I felt gross after awhile." Onika said quietly as Beyonce rubbed her back.
She shut her eyes in anguish.
"I-I just—I don't want you to find me disgusting." She mumbled and Beyoncé pulled away and connected their foreheads together.
"I could never find you disgusting. Lauren—is a terrible person. I mean I get it she's your friend but I really don't think you should even call her a friend anymore—"Beyoncé stammered.
"I-I don't." Onika said quietly.
"I don't consider—her a friend anymore." Onika mumbled. And Beyoncé felt a wave of relief wash over her.
"A-and I've been thinking of my future. I'm gonna—I'm gonna start attending NA again after..and I—I was thinking of going on anti-depressants again. I haven't been on them since high-school." Onika mumbled and Beyoncé grinned.
"That's great Oni." She said softly smiling at her.
Onika couldn't help but smile at the light praise. "I really—I really wanna try out school again. I liked college. I only dropped out because of—something that wasn't even my fault." Onika mumbled.
"That's good. That's—progress. I'm so—I'm so proud of you." Beyoncé said kissing Onikas temple—Onika couldn't ignore the constant warmth she felt in her stomach at the action.
"I-I mean they're just ideas I'm not sure if I can commit to them.." Onika said sighing and Beyoncé disagreed. "You can do it—I know you can." Beyoncé said confidently.
Onika buried herself into Beyonces shoulder.
"Hey Oni?" Beyoncé asked after about a half an hour of comfortable silence. She knew Onika has began to doze off but she wanted her to wake up a bit.
"H-Huh yeah?" Onika responded quietly. The Dvds menu played over and over by now but Beyoncé was more focused on the clock.
"You've been officially sober for a month." Beyoncé whispered looking at the clock that ready 12:00am and Onika gave a lazy smile—her eye lids were heavy.
"Yayyy..." She said falling asleep and Beyoncé laughed softly at how fast she fell asleep.
"31 days sober.." Beyoncé said and Onika mumbled in her sleep.
"31 days..sober.." She mumble in her sleep.
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Hey!!
Sorry i've been lacking on this story
How'd y'all like the chapter?
Oniaks future plans and progress?
Onika and Beyoncé?
Onika and Robert?