sɪɴᴄᴇʀᴇ; sɪɴ
ʟᴏs ᴀɴɢᴇʟᴇs, ᴄᴀʟɪғᴏʀɴɪᴀ
ᴀᴜɢᴜsᴛ 10ᴛʜ
"Holon, give me a second," I said.
"What's wrong? Do I need to do something?"
"Nah. Just give me a second."
"Okay."
I went in the bathroom and peed. I'm over my "sneaky link" house or whatever you wanna call her. I don't too much like to call them my hoes.
I can't get hard though. I usually do, but today I can't. I'ma just have to end up leaving.
I don't know what's going on with me.
I pulled my pants up and washed my hands before I walked out the bathroom.
"You ready?" She asked.
"Look, Nyla, I'ma talk to you later. I gotta go handle some business."
"What? Can't you just do that later?"
"Nah, it's kinda important. I'ma get back to you though."
"Okay. I love you."
No, she didn't. Please God, tell me she did not just say that to me.
"Aight. Bye."
She looked at me a certain way before I walked out the door after I grabbed my things.
I walked out of her room and to the door, which was not far from her room.
I went to my car and cranked it up, making sure to turn the air on.
It's so damn hot in Cali right now. This shit don't even make no sense.
I pulled out of her driveway and made my way to Chick-fil-A. I'an ate all day and a nigga was hungry.
It's around 12 and I usually don't eat before 11. I go to the gym in the mornings at around 8 and I drink water, but I don't eat.
This is also around the time that I take my meds for my mental issues.
I don't like to call myself crazy because I'm not fucking crazy. I have more than enough sense. And when I tell people that I have mental problems, they automatically think I'm crazy and it kinda pisses me off.
I brush it off though.
I got my food and parked in the parking lot. I got my medication out of the glove department and poured each of them in my hand. One of each.
I took a sip of my drink before I took all of the pills and drank form my drink again.
I used to hate pills, but when I got diagnosed with this shit, I didn't have a choice. There has been a time where I overdosed.
I just was having a bad day and took all the damn pills. I was just tryna see what would happen.
I saw what happened alright. My ass almost died. From that point on, I have not taken more than I need to.
I remember that time I tried to kill myself to see if I was actually gon' die. That shit hurt like mfker. I never tried that shit agin.
Now I just be listening to Summer Walker and shit when I'm sad. It actually helps.
Anyways, I ate my food and decided to go to WalMart.
I got some more condoms, some socks, a case of water, and a nerf gun.
I went to self-checkout and started to scan my things. I saw Nai. I didn't say anything though.
When I finished, I left the store and went home.
I wish I had an eventful life.
I got knocked out of my thoughts by someone banging on my damn door like the police. That ain't nobody but them stupid ass niggas.
I went downstairs and looked through the frosted glass door and it was them looking like two big bums.
I opened the door and they bombarded in my damn house. Niggas ain't got no type of respect.
"Man, do you got snacks?" Fats asked.
"Do you got a house? 'Cause you need to go to it."
"Shut yo lonely ass up."
Damn.
He went to the kitchen while Meechie went to the living room and turned on MY game.
"Where Marco at?"
"I'on know. Prolly somewhere fucking Tee."
"He still fuck with her?"
"Yea. Sometimes. I don't know why. Her begging ass. Deyjah would never," he said munching on some chips I didn't even know he had.
"He need to leave that damn girl alone. Something ain't right about her."
"That's what I said, but he said he don't love her. He said her coochie fye. The whole damn hood prolly been in that shit."
"For real."
"All we can do is hope he don't get hurt fucking with her."
"Right."
I started scrolling through Instagram. I saw Nai again, this time on my explore page.
She so fine.
She was promoting some shit. I heard that shit make these girls good money.
"You going to that thing tonight?" Fats asked.
"Nope. I gotta go to sleep."
"Nigga, really?"
"I'm deadass."
"Bro, come on. Yo ass stay in the house. Nai coming, too. She just don't know," Meechie said.
"What is your obsession with her?"
"I'on got no damn obsession. I just like her as a person. I see how lonely she is and it makes me feel bad."
"You know sometimes people actually prefer being lonely. It's not even called being lonely, it's called just minding your business and staying to yourself. You don't know what that is."
"Of course a lonely person would say that. Y'all just love saying how y'all not lonely. It gets on my nerves."
"Who is y'all?"
"You and Nai."
"I just like being left alone."
"You lyin'. You can't enjoy being by yourself all the damn time. And can't nobody leave you alone for too long. Yo ass be so bored that you start experimenting with yo fucking life. Who does that shit?"
"Lonely ass people," Fats said.
"My nigga," Meechie said and they dapped each other up.
Damn. I wish I could say he was lying. I do enjoy being alone though.
"This nigga tryna see what happen when he take too many pills and shit. The fuck you thought was gon' happen?" Fats asked scrunching his face up.
"I didn't know that was gon' happen."
"What did you think was happen then, Sin?"
"Leave me alone."
♕♕♕
"Is you ready yet? We gotta go, Nigga!" One of the guys yelled at me while I was putting on my shoes.
"Hold on, Bitch! Always tryna rush somebody with that tacky ass outfit on."
"Yo mama would like it, dirt neck," he flipped me off.
"It don't matter if she did. It's ugly."
"I put this shit on, hatin' ass nigga."
"Now go take that shit off, rat face."
He held his middle finger up at me and walked away.
I finished lacing up my shoes and I was ready. I really didn't even wanna fucking go. They just don't take no for an answer.
"Hurry up! We gotta go pick up Nai," Fats said to me.
"I'm coming, fat ass!"
I went downstairs and we left out the house. I locked the door before I got in the truck.
Fats had the nerve to get his big ass in the front seat, knowing he the shortest one in the damn group.
"Move yo ass, Fats."
"Man, get yo ass in the back."
"Don't make me hit you, Kenneth," I said like his mom be saying.
He smacked his lips and got out the car to get in the back.
Marco was also in the back. Meechie was driving.
We were all in the truck and we were now on our way to pick up Nai, I guess. He had her address in the gps.
"Meechie turn this shit off!" I yelled at him.
This nigga playing "All The Way Home" by Tamar Braxton.
"NO!"
I hate this dude.
Not long after, we pulled up to a nice ass house. It gotta be her house because why would she give him an address that's not hers.
He called her and told her we were outside. Shortly after, she walked out the door and locked the door behind her.
She got in the truck and spoke to everybody.
"Meech, where we goin'?"
"To a party."
"Why you didn't say that over the phone?"
"Because I knew you wouldn't come if I did, Silly."
"I don't like parties, Meechie."
"We got you. Just have fun."
She sat back in her seat and got on her phone. She looked pretty though.
♕♕♕
Ew. I hate the smell of parties. It smell like weed, hot booty cheeks, and cheap ass perfume. That's not a good combination.
Don't come to no party and you know you funky. That goes for women and men. I don't even know why they leave the house smelling like that.
I could never.
Then they got the nerve to flap they stankin' asses around. And then these dudes just take in the funk. Half of them be musty and be tryna put on that cologne.
Just nasty.
Me and Nai found somewhere to sit. I wasn't about to party with no stank ass people.
Girls asking me to dance, but I don't want to. I just wanna chill, but how can I chill when it smell like this in here?
Okay, I'ma stop.
"You wanna dance?" Some dude asked her.
"No, thank you."
"What you here for then?"
"I'm just here."
"Come on. Just have fun wimme. We can do more than dance if you want to."
"Fuck no," she scrunched up her face.
"Come on, girl. You fine as hell. I'm just tryna see what you on."
"Man, she said no. Get yo musty ass on somewhere," I said.
"And who the fuck you is? I'on remember asking you shit, bitch boy."
You thought you ate?
"I said get yo musty ass on," I stood up, towering over him.
"My fault, Big Bro."
"Yea. Yo fault."
I sat back down in my seat and Nai looked at me.
"You ain't have to do that," she said loud enough so I could hear her over the music.
"Yes, I did."
She got back on her phone and started scrolling.
It was dark in the room, but the light off of her phone was reflecting onto her face so I could see her.
I paid attention to all of her features. She's so pretty. And her personality just make her more attractive.
I like how calm and collected she is. I never really fucked with no girl like her. Not that I'm fucking with her. Y'all get what the fuck I'm saying.
"Hey, Sin, can you go to the restroom with me? Not in the restroom, but you know like..outside the door," she asked knocking me out of my thoughts.
"Yeah," I said.
She might be scared or something. I understand though. Niggas are disgusting.
We found the restroom and she went inside while I waited until she was finished.
Meechie walked up to me with a confused look on his face.
"Where Kanai at?" He asked me.
"She in the restroom."
"You waiting on her?"
"Yea, she asked me to come with her."
"Oh okay."
She came out of the restroom.
"You alright?" He asked her.
"Yea, I'm fine."
"Alright. Lemme go find Fats and then we leaving. This shit lame and it stink."
"I'm glad you come to your damn senses."
"Fuck you."
"Fuck you more."
He walked away and me and Nai went back to where we were.
I noticed that she was looking around while she was walking. She looked nervous, or like she was looking for somebody.
"You alright?" I bent down to ask her.
"I'm fine."
I don't think she is. I'ma try to keep my cool and hope she not tryna set us up.
We got outside and she looked more relieved than when we were inside.
"You wanna tell me why you acting like that?"
"Acting like what?" She asked shrugging her shoulders.
"Paranoid and weird."
"I'm not acting like that," she got back on her phone.
She get on my nerves with that damn phone. It ain't that much scrolling in the damn world. It seem like she just doing it all the time.
"You are, but okay."
Meechie walked outside with Fats. This nigga was drunk.
"Y'all know that some bitch just called me 'burrtifurr'?" He said with a confused face.
"Bro, just stop talking. I been told you to not drink or eat nothing over here. Fats, you don't drink and eat over everybody house. They might not roaches," I said.
"You prolly just ate some roach dookie," Marco said.
"That's what that black stuff was?! OH MY GOD!"
"Fats, I know you did not eat nothing with no damn black stuff on it. Come on now, Man. You know better."
"I was hungry."
"Get yo ass in the car, Man."
We got in the car and pulled off.
♕♕♕
"Aight, Nai," I said.
"Bye, y'all."
She got out of the car and went to her door. We waited until she unlocked it and went in before we pulled off.
I was still wondering why she doing what she was doing though.
I'ma find out.
♕♕♕
ᴀ/ɴ:
ᴡʜʏ ʏ'ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ sʜᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ᴡʜᴀᴛ sʜᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴅᴏɪɴɢ? ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ.
ʜᴏɴᴇsᴛʟʏᴊᴀʟɪʏᴀʜ♕