happy birthday hoe <3 i love him and if you don't, what is wrong with you
"Seriously, man, I remember that day as though it was yesterday!" Daniel wheezes. "You walked up to that guy and straight up said-"
"No, god I don't wanna hear it!" I'm laughing, too, as I gently hit his arm. "Don't you dare!"
"'Where can I find the Fernando Pizzeria?'"
"Stop!"
"And you were LITERALLY STANDING IN FRONT OF THAT FUCKING THING!!"
"I hate you!"
We both can hardly breathe, our airways blocked by the laughter bubbling out of us. Daniel's blond hair falls into his face as he bends forward, holding his stomach.
"And you just- Oh god, Jayden, you're the best, man."
"Always have been. I'm the born comedian. It was all planned that day."
"You were nine!"
"I was already super funny back then, don't you remember?"
"No."
"Go fuck yourself." I grin and turn my head towards the table in front of the couch as I hear my phone's ringtone. I decide to check the message and the smile drops.
"What's wrong?" My friend asks, looking at me with a furrowed brow.
"I... Wait a minute, Dan, I have to make a call."
"Yeah. Sure."
I give him a short smile and get up to leave the room, the contact already opened. As soon as the door behind me shuts, I press Call.
"Hey." Cheeto's voice doesn't even sound like ze cried.
"Do you need a place to stay?"
"Yeah."
"Come live with me."
There's a short pause, followed by: "I- You would do that?"
"Obviously! You're my sibling, and I love you, and I know what they're like."
"Thank you. Thank you so much."
"It's no problem. Hey. Listen. It'll be okay. You'll be here, and they don't know where I live- where we live, they can't find you."
Silence. I hear noises in the background, mostly those of clothes being packed together and Cheeto's breathing, but sometimes they're mixed with a too familiar voice in the background yelling something I don't want to understand, probably through a closed door.
"Yeah." Cheeto then says. "I'll hang up then, okay?"
"Oka- Wait. One more question."
"Uh-huh?"
"Daniel's here right now. I'll send him away, but is it okay if I tell him why?"
"Daniel... The short blond one? With these really bright blue eyes?"
"Exactly."
"Yeah, that's okay. Thanks for asking."
"No problem. I'll... I'll see you then. Stay safe. Love you. Oh, and- Please text me when you left the house, okay? I just wanna be sure nothing happens to you."
"Okay."
"Okay."
"Love you."
My sibling hangs up, and I stand there for a few seconds, supporting myself by leaning against the wall and sorting my thoughts before I turn around to open the door.
"Dan?"
"Yeah? Is everything okay?"
"Not really, no. You remember Cheeto, right?"
"Of course."
"Dahlia and Gregor found out ze's not a girl. They're..." I can hardly say it. "They're kicking zir out. Ze's coming now. To live here."
"Oh." There's a short moment of silence, then: "Should I... Go?"
"Yeah. It's nothing against you, I just... I don't think-"
"No, no, I get it." Daniel shakes his head. "I would send anyone away, too, if... If I were ever in that situation."
I nod. "Thanks."
"Hey. It's great that you're doing this." He gets up to hug me, and as he lets go, he smiles at me, even though there's not a lot of joy in his eyes. "Good luck."
"Thanks." I repeat and return the smile.
"Sure. Then... See you."
As he leaves, I drop onto the sofa, running my hand through my hair.
It's your fault Cheeto was alone for the past few years. You moved away. You left zir alone.
But I barely had a choice, and Cheeto had told me multiple times that ze wasn't mad and understood why I'd left. After all, I'm an adult and the household hasn't exactly been the best. In fact, I'd just gotten out of hospital from getting an empty bottle thrown at me. I close my eyes and try to shake off the memory, but I already hear him yelling about how ungrateful I am, and how He made me, and gave me a roof over my head and a full stomach. I already hear the sound of glass shattering and the scream as Cheeto enters the kitchen in the worst moment possible. I feel the pain in my back and press my lips together, so I don't start crying on the spot. I hate you so fucking much, Gregor.
My ringtone rips me out of my thoughts, and I check the phone immediately. Cheeto sent me an image. I open the notification to see a picture of the sidewalk near the house we used to live in, Cheeto's white, but perfectly clean shoe on the lower edge. The caption: i'm out.
I spend the next four minutes on the edge of the sofa, the next seven pacing around the living room, then three more minutes doing the same in the hallway, until finally, the doorbell rings and I immediately open the door to the staircase, run downstairs and nearly rip the house door out of its frame.
There's my sibling. Right in front of me, with a suitcase and a backpack, the lowered eyes not red at all. Before Cheeto can say a word, I wrap my arms around zir.
"I'm so sorry." I whisper, feeling the skinny body relax a little bit before I hear a sob right next to my ear and ze returns the hug just as tight, suddenly crying. I hold my younger sibling as though ze could disappear any moment, stroking over zir long, straightened hair – another thing Dahlia has made zir do since forever, just like the shoes that are cleaned once a week and almost everything ze wears outside because "You need to look pretty, honey, so you get yourself a husband one day.".
As I look up, I notice an elderly woman staring at us from her window – I don't know her name, but she's the most curious person on the planet who loves to stalk her neighbors. I shoot her a look that says This is none of your business, mind your own before lowering my gaze to Cheeto again. "It's going to be okay; you'll see." I mutter, trying to make sure my voice is somewhat stable. "You're safe here. I love you." Cheeto's fingers dig into the fabric of my hoodie as ze cries and cries, the sobs are those of someone unwanted in their own parents' home. And I can hardly bear seeing my sibling like this.
"Do you want to go inside?" I ask after some time as Cheeto seems to calm a little.
The person sniffs. "Yeah." Ze says, zir voice breaking.
"I'll take your suitcase." I say and do so before Cheeto can protest, carrying it upstairs with my left hand on my sibling's back. Shutting the door to my apartment behind us, I put the suitcase down and turn around. "Okay, maybe we should-"
That is when I notice the bruise forming on zir tear-stained left cheek.
"Did they...?" I point towards the stain and my sibling nods.
"Guess which one." Ze says in a bitter tone.
I know. Dahlia is terrible, but she would never use physical violence. "I hate him. I hate him so much." I hiss, then: "I'm sorry."
"It's okay, I get it."
~
I'm sitting upright in my bed, and it takes me a second to realize what woke me up. A scream. Intruder. I first think, but then I remember the events from yesterday and don't hesitate before jumping to my feet. A sudden dizziness falls over me as I move, but I ignore it as much as I can and run straight to the living room. My sibling sits there on the couch-bed-fusion – pure luck that my friend gave it to me as she moved in with her boyfriend – with a hand over zir mouth. Ze flinches as ze notices me approaching through the dark room and the bit of light shining through the window reflects in the tears on zir face.
"It's just me." I whisper. "It's Jayden."
Cheeto nods and wipes the tears away before lowering zir hand. "Sorry I woke you up, I didn't mean to-"
"Hey, it's okay." I respond, sitting down on the edge of the couch. "It was a nightmare, wasn't it?"
"Y-Yeah."
"Would you mind telling me what it was about?" I ask as I switch on the lamp on the table.
Surprise reflects in Cheeto's eyes. "You're... Not mad?"
Oh god. I almost forgot that part about their "parenting" again. Nightmares make you weak, also, no noise at night. I feel the anger rise within me again, but I try to shake it off and just shake my head. "No. You have no control over your dreams, otherwise I don't think you'd choose something that makes you cry."
"Not really, no."
"Thought so." I smile a little.
"Uh, about your question..." Cheeto runs zir hand through zir hair and looks down at the blanket. "Yesterday. Except I'm not sure I made it out of the house. Woke up with a bottle inches from my face."
I freeze for a few seconds, unsure if I should say the words forming inside my head. But I do anyway, putting my hand on Cheeto's. "Did he actually try something like that yesterday?"
"No, no, he didn't." Cheeto shakes zir head. "I feel like... Doesn't matter. He didn't do it."
I hug my little sibling tightly. "I'm so sorry I left you alone with them, I-"
"Hey. No. I get why you left. I'm not mad about that. I mean, sure, it sucked more than before, but... I could still talk to you. And again, I understand it."
I nod. "I mean, yeah, it was reasonable, but..." I interrupt myself, unsure what to say. "Anyway." I let go, giving Cheeto a small smile. "Are you better?"
Ze nods. "Thank you. Really, I can't express how grateful I am for... Everything."
"I couldn't have forgiven myself if I'd done anything else. And, well, it was the first and only solution I thought of."
"No, not only letting you live with me." Cheeto smiles. "That, too, of course. But I also mean... You were always there for me to listen, and right now, it's just... It's completely different to what I normally experience – or experienced. I feel like... I feel like I finally found a home."
i wrote this one a while back actually and didn't even plan to publish it but when i couldn't come up w anything better for togay i went "why not let's go"