Chapter IV ♡ being around you
❀
Taehyung
What was intended to be half an hour at the coffee shop, turned into two hours, to both Jungkook's and Taehyung's surprise.
During this time, Taehyung got the chance to have an actual, normal conversation with Jungkook for the first time, and found out that he was indeed living up to the expectations. He was smart and social, talking a lot when it came to his dreams and aspirations, despite the impression he gave Taehyung at first. Maybe Jungkook was not a social butterfly, but he wasn't that secluded either, maybe just a bit picky when it came to the people he spends time with, and after all, no one could blame him for that.
His enthusiasm was contagious. Taehyung eventually ended up speaking about himself as well more than he ever intended to.
He admitted that he was interested in history, architecture, and art, and when he was younger, he thought he wanted to be a historian, but his inclinations changed with time, confusing Taehyung. He didn't have any reason to hide the truth from Jungkook, so he confessed that he was in a dead spot at the moment, not knowing certainly what direction he was heading in.
They got to know the basics about each other and agreed that it was of utmost importance to share such information when they were about to share their personal space during the weekend. Jungkook called it a vibe check.
They didn't talk about their past too much, Soo Hyun wasn't mentioned, relationships of any kind either. They talked about their families though, and they realized they had much more in common than initially expected.
Both moved to Seoul from their hometowns to be able to achieve their childhood dreams and even though they might have changed directions in the meantime, it still felt comfortable to share such small, yet important things about each other. Taehyung liked it and with the time spent at the cafe, he realized that Jungkook stopped looking at him with that hatred he did before.
Maybe it was just his imagination, but things started moving differently.
❀
They ate some cheap fast food on their way back to the dorm, more at peace with the idea that they will have to spend the weekend together somehow, and instead of turning it into a nightmare, it was decided to make it bearable by eliminating some of the unwanted tension, replacing it with occasional inoffensive jokes and laughter here and there.
By the time they reached the dorm, Jimin had already been informed by Jungkook about the change of plans, and he was already there waiting for them, along with Hoseok apparently. Taehyung didn't know Hoseok that well and was a bit disoriented with the way things moved, but Jungkook explained a bit that Hoseok wasn't that close to them either, maybe more to Jimin, but he came along because he wanted to help since he hadn't been able to offer them a place to sleep in the previous night. Taehyung didn't ask any further questions and went along with their plan.
Certainly, he felt a bit uncomfortable at first. He didn't know Jimin either and didn't know what to expect.
"Hello, guys!" Jimin greeted them as soon as they entered the room, flashing them with a dazzling smile. "I know you guys had some food but I also bought donuts cause I kind of feel guilty. Those cuffs are still mine after all." He welcomed them with a donut each.
At first, Taehyung didn't say much but observed. He was surprised to see the way Jungkook's face lit up in Jimin's presence as if all the worries in the world just dissipated. It was obvious that the two of them had been friends for a long while, and the way their personalities compliment each other was endearing and fascinating at the same time.
Something Taehyung doesn't remember to have ever had.
Jungkook told Taehyung that Jimin would come over to help time pass easier, but he didn't expect him to be that prepared. He bought some ciders, and lemonade for Jungkook who didn't like alcohol that much, and after a while, they started talking about the previous night, and Jungkook kept on putting the blame on the store that sold Jimin the handcuffs without a key, ready to fill in a complaint. It was amusing, and even though Taehyung didn't participate much in the conversation, it didn't feel that bad after all.
Taehyung found himself smiling more than he thought he would. When Jungkook spoke, his eyes were fully focused on him, on the way his lips moved, on the way he laughed with his entire chest, entranced by his presence. He didn't even realize what he was doing until Jimin fired up some self-awareness in him, catching him staring and smiling way too widely at someone who he could barely stand the previous day.
He didn't know how to react when Jimin caught him, because it felt as if he himself realized it, and he had to instantly redirect his gaze in a different direction, not letting the blush creeping at his cheeks become even more obvious. Kim Taehyng, blushing like a high-schooler, what a day, huh?
But Jungkook was oblivious to the whole situation (thankfully) and he kept on interacting with Taehyung, getting friendlier, more comfortable talking to him, and Taehyung replied to it with the same attitude, but Jimin was still watching, and he had no idea whether Jungkook's friend was overprotective or suspicious.
"I see that you guys get along now at least." Jimin eventually remarked. Taehyung expected it, just didn't know how to answer that. Jungkook jolted involuntarily the moment he processed the question, quickly replying to Jimin's affirmation with a natural chuckle.
Taehyung couldn't help but notice the way his eyes became smaller, and some creases appeared on his nose the moment he scrunched it. Taehyung didn't know Jungkook was so... charming but cute at the same time?
"It's a weekend truce." Jungkook winked in Jimin's direction, to which Jimin raised one eyebrow, suspiciously.
"Why is it so impossible for everyone to think we'd get along, though?" Taehyung asked suddenly, more curious than anything.
"Oh!" Jimin then started laughing. "Don't worry, it's not necessarily about you, but believe me, I know Jungkook, and he's not easy to deal with." Jimin teased, whispering in Taehyung's direction, completely aware that Jungkook had heard him.
"You son of a bitch, I'm quite sociable myself." Jungkook kicked Jimin softly in his stomach, expression still tender and grin ever so present.
"Tell that to Friday morning Jeon Jungkook and he would have kicked you between your balls!"
Taehyung felt so confused at that moment, what was Jungkook's deal, anyway? Why was he trying so hard to stay away from people when he was actually such a nice, friendly guy?
"Ok, let's say, Friday morning Jungkook wouldn't entertain the idea that he would spend the weekend tied to..." Then he realized he was about to make a rude affirmation, so he changed it smoothly. "Well... tied to someone." Taehyung appreciated the intent, but the more he spent time beside Jimin and Jungkook, the more he realized that there was something going on and curiosity started eating at the back of his mind.
Lost in thoughts, Taehyung barely processed the fact that Jungkook got up with determination on his face and dragged Taehyung along to his closet.
"So, we will need... a spare pair of pants for me, and one for you." He explained, then opened one of the cabinets, handing Taehyung a pair of trousers. "That's all I've got to fit you, I think," Jungkook said with an apologizing tone, analyzing Taehyung's body and his proportions.
Taehyung had to admit, compared to him, Jungkook's legs looked more pulpy, toned, and his were a bit thinner, even though they had similar waist sizes by the look of it. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to inspect Jungkook's proportions, because the second his eyes landed on Jungkook's body, he couldn't stop checking him out, even wondering what was hiding beneath those jeans, how did those thighs feel when touched-
Taehyung started thinking of bunnies jumping on a field, white clouds, blue skies, pretty trees, and whatever he could find whenever it wasn't Jungkook, accepting the trousers without making a fool out of himself.
"Okay, so..." Hoseok then joined them with a hairdryer in his right hand, to which Taehyung raised an eyebrow. Were they gonna wash their hair? Taehyung was fine with a shower as long as they've got an idea. " Jimin told me that you guys want to take a shower, or at least change clothes because you both stink, which is kinda true..." Hoseok raised his hands in defense. "Don't take it personally, you are both bearable!"
"But..." Jimin interrupted him, excitedly to present their idea. "We kept on thinking about it. You guys can't actually take the upper body clothes off. Maybe we would be able to pull something off in Jungkook's case because he has a thin Jersey on him and I've read somewhere that we could try pulling it out through the cuffs somehow, however, it wouldn't be possible to help him put something back on..."
"And for you, Taehyung, we really couldn't come with a better idea..."
"So... you decided to throw us in the shower with shirts on then dry us off with the hairdryer?" Taehyung asked sarcastically, waiting for someone to laugh.
But they didn't.
"Exactly," Jimin replied.
"Wait, I was kidding, you are kidding too, right?"
"Not even one bit!" Hoseok replied firmly with a thrilled look on his face.
Jungkook was a bit too quick to agree to the idea, so Taehyung had to eventually do the same, not even imagining how they were going to make something like that work out.
"Ok, we left the towels by the shower, now you should just go into the bathroom together, and when you are done, you just call me and we will help you," Jimin suggested and both Jungkook and Taehyung headed to the bathroom without asking further questions, awkwardly looking at each other.
"Um... what are we gonna do about the underwear?" Taehyung then dared to ask, knowing Jungkook was getting easily embarrassed in such situations.
"We... should change it," Jungkook replied, still awkwardly. "I can give you one pair of new boxers, actually."
"Oh, that would be... excellent. Thanks!" Taehyung wondered why he felt so uncomfortable just thinking that he would have to take a shower naked with Jungkook. It wasn't the first time he showered with someone, actually, they used to do that all the time in high school after sports hours.
Jungkook asked Jimin to search for the set of new boxers in one of his drawers, and he quickly brought the underwear in the bathroom, placing it by the sink.
In the meantime, Taehyung turned on the shower and got rid of his pants, waiting for Jungkook to do the same so that they could jump in the shower cabin together. The moment both of them were undressed, and all that was left were their tees, in Jungkook's case his jersey, and the boxers, Taehyung realized it was for the better to turn around as quickly as possible because as soon as his eyes landed on Jungkook's toned legs, it was enough for him to be sent him to heaven and back. He held back a gasp, and not to make the situation any more awkward than it was, Taehyung turned around.
Who would've known that behind Jungkook's appearance, a shy, soft, nerdy even guy, hid such a muscular, deliciously looking body?
"Thanks," Jungkook murmured, appreciating the gesture, and he followed after him, turning around and getting rid of the rest of his clothes.
Taehyung didn't want to see.
He didn't want to see anything anymore because the possibility of him getting a boner in the situation they were in was huge, and he preferably avoided that.
At first, everything went fine. Both took turns to stay under the running shower to wash their hair and as much of the body as it was possible. Taehyung even congratulated himself for resisting the urge to turn around again and pop up a boner, and the whole thing felt much easier than he thought. Even though they had been cuffed for less than twenty-four hours, their movements started to be coordinated, as if it had become a habit already. Taehyung liked their synchronization.
"W-would you..." Jungkook shily opened his mouth, sounding a bit embarrassed. Taehyung almost didn't hear him.
"Hm?"
"Do you think we should help each other out with washing the shirts we have on?" Jungkook simply asked, oblivious to Taehyung's existential crisis. Taehyung took a huge, deep breath. He agreed but had no idea why. It felt like a bad idea.
He turned around first, not really knowing what he was supposed to do. Truth to be told, there was a lot of shampoo and foam on Jungkook's wet jersey, so he understood what the action was needed, but the problem wasn't that he had to help Jungkook out. The problem was the fact that the jersey was wet and molded on Jungkook's toned upper back, highlighting his perfect curves as it fell on his lower back, embracing his slim waist. Taehyung gulped as he took the shower head and started moving it above Jungkook's back.
Maybe he could get over the image if it wasn't for one small yet distressing detail. Jungkook's cuffed arm was kept above his ass, which meant, automatically, Taehyung's hand was close to Jungkook's eye-candy, athletic booty. And damn it was so close, he just had to extend his palm a few inches to cup one cheek and squeeze it, just to find out how deliciously it felt to touch. It took all of his willpower not to make any type of audible sound the moment he was hit by the realization. How could he possibly be that attractive? Taehyung didn't know where to look anymore, everything looked irresistible.
When he finished helping Jungkook out, which didn't take more than thirty seconds, he was obviously hard, embarrassed, and turned on. The finishing touch was the crimson color on his cheeks.
He turned around quickly, thanking Jungkook internally for urging him to turn around because well, Taehyung preferred to dig his own grave right below that shower cabin than letting Jungkook see him so flushed because of him.
When it was Jungkook's turn to help out, he lost his balance for a bit due to the slippery floor tiles. Taehyung didn't process the movement quickly enough to turn around and catch Jungkook, but the boy himself caught Taehyung's side to regain his own balance, instinctively. Taehyung turned quite a bit in his direction to check up on him, forgetting about his problems for a few seconds. It didn't mean they went away, right?
"W-woah, are you okay?" He asked, turning around, just to find Jungkook leaning ahead, eyes wide open, staring at Taehyung's hard-on.
Fucking perfect.
Taehyung, you are the ultimate loser.
"Is that..." Jungkook hastily turned his back to Taehyung, voice flustered. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to look." Even Taehyung could feel his loud heart beating. He remained like that for a couple of seconds without replying, not having any plan on how to get out of the awkward situation.
Thank God Jungkook was witty-minded.
Not in the good kind of way though.
He changed the water temperature from hot to cold, then directed it over Taehyung's body, who not only jumped and hissed but forgot about Jungkook's curves completely, and his boner started dying down.
"Sorry." Jungkook apologized with little words and just gestured to him to face the wall as he put the water back to warm again, and quickly, skillfully washed Taehyung's back and shirt.
As soon as they finished, Jungkook gave Taehyung a towel and used one for himself. They drained as much of their shirts as possible, and when they managed to dry most of the excessive water, Jungkook called Jimin in.
They both put the towels around their waists, and before Jimin managed to reach the bathroom, Jungkook spoke again.
"I'll pretend I didn't see that." He said a bit amusedly.
"And I'll pretend it didn't happen at all," Taehyung replied, more ashamed than amused.
At least he didn't have the chance to say more about it as Jimin entered the bathroom ever so enthusiastic. "Ok guys, let's take this to the bedroom because it's going to be easier," Jimin suggested and the three of them headed outside the cursed bathroom where Taehyung didn't want to ever go back.
❀
They started with Jungkook. Jimin put the hairdryer on high power and started drying the jersey. Jungkook kept on insisting that the whole thing was tickling him, and Taehyung had to admit, it was a funny thing to see. They ended up laughing more than necessary, especially Jimin, but he managed to dry Jungkook's jersey in a couple of minutes.
Impressed beyond words, Taehyung exchanged places with Jungkook, and Jimin started the experiment on him as well. Indeed, Jungkook was right, it felt tickly but not enough to bother Taehyung. Sometimes the air hitting his skin was way too hot, and since he had a shirt, not a loose tee, Jimin had to insist a bit more on some parts. The process took double the time, but it was quite refreshing.
Now that he was all clean, Taehyung felt like a newborn.
Indeed, their clothes aren't smelling like fresh laundry softener, but shower gel, but it wasn't that bad either. It was a change that they both needed.
Later during the evening of that Saturday, the four of them agreed to watch a movie, and Jimin and Hoseok invited some more friends over.
Taehyung didn't know them very well, except for Yoongi who was on the same basketball team as he was, but it turned out to be a nice, interesting evening.
❀
"So, this is Namjoon, my bestie right here," Hoseok explained to everyone as a tall, handsome guy that Taehyung hadn't seen before entering the dorm room.
To that, Jungkook reacted with much excitement. "Oh, I know you! You are the cool guy from the creative club!" Jungkook quickly dragged Taehyung after him, so he had to introduce himself as well.
The two of them exchanged a few words and Taehyung was wondering whether the creative club was fun. He chose sports all over because his friends did so as well, but he had never been that excited about it the way Jungkook and Namjoon were about their own club.
A bit of regret was peeling at Taehyung's mind, but he tried to brush it off.
Soon after, Seokjin and Yoongi made an appearance as well, to which Jimin started acting all shy and more calculated with his words. Slowly, Taehyung started feeling more and more comfortable as well, even laughing at their interactions and joining conversations.
"Seokjin and Namjoon are just as rich as Hoseok, but they prefer staying at the dorm to get a taste of the broke college student life," Jungkook informed Taehyung with a few whispers, to which he nodded with interest.
"So, now that we all gathered in this small, crowded as hell, nest of Jimin's, what movie do you guys wanna watch?" Hoseok asked with enthusiasm.
"A teen drama!" Jimin replied just with as much eagerness, to which Hoseok agreed quickly.
"Wait. No. We need to watch the new Marvel movie." The Jungkook suggested, brows furrowed.
"Oh!" Taehyung found himself talking before realizing. "Shang-chi and the legend of the 10 rings!"
"Yes!" Jungkook nodded excitedly. "That one!"
"Wait, Marvel movies are boring," Jimin whined in response, completely disregarding their opinion.
"Oh yeah, and how is a cliche teen drama less boring than a movie with an actual plot?" Jungkook countered his best friend, and Taehyung couldn't help but agree with everything he said.
"And this one is like a recent movie. At least we can watch something none of us had seen or heard of before."
"Wait you guys..." Seokjin interrupted them, eyes narrowed, carefully inspecting Jungkook and Taehyung. "Since when did the two of you become so close?" He raised one eyebrow, making everyone's eyes in the room land on them. The question made a lot of sense, since the last time Seokin had seen them was at the party, the previous night when everyone was afraid they would end up killing each other.
"Since we had been tied by Park Jimin's cuffs, literally," Taehyung replied with a sly smile, getting Seokjin's implications, but choosing to ignore them.
"I didn't mean that. Since when are you getting along that well?" He smirked, waiting for a reply that neither Jungkook nor Taehyung offered. When he realized that no one was going to, he amusedly changed the subject. "Come on guys, let's watch a psychological movie."
❀
Taehyung had more fun than he expected that evening.
He didn't know having people around could also mean talking about anything and everything, and actually feeling like you've gained something.
Whenever used to he hang out with his group of friends, they would talk about girls, sex, skipping classes, drugs, and bad jokes.
For the first time in a long while, Taehyung felt like being part of something real.
He met most of the guys in the room for the first time that day, but by the end of the night, he felt closer to them than he's ever been to Soo Hyun and the others.
It wasn't that bad at all.
Taehyung didn't even know he could laugh that much, and surprisingly, none of the people in that room bought stuff like alcohol or fucking into the conversation, yet that Saturday had been anything but boring. He loved it.
❀
After everyone had left and they were alone again, Taehyung realized he was feeling much more comfortable around Jungkook now than he felt in the morning.
"I really think Yoongi didn't watch the movie, too busy ogling Jimin, yet they are so stupid, Jimin doesn't believe me," Jungkook explained while the two of them were coordinating to clean the room a bit. Their coordination was getting almost perfect by now. Yes, it still felt uncomfortable, but livable.
Taehyung laughed a bit at Jungkook's words. "I think everyone knows they are dancing around each other. This is quite fun to watch."
"Exasperating, you mean." Jungkook corrected him.
"I find it pretty weird that, you know, I saw them making out a few weeks ago, and now both pretend nothing happened," Taehyung said contemplatively, genuinely not understanding them.
Then Jungkook stopped in his tracks near the mini-fridge in his room. "How do..." Jungkook wetted his lips, eyes furrowed. Taehyung thought he looked cute. "How do relationships work in your group of friends, Taehyung?"
Taehyung then raised his eyebrows, not prepared to answer such a question. "I... don't know what you mean?"
Jungkook turned towards him and spent a few seconds searching for his words. "I wonder whether you guys are serious when it comes to relationships, or just play around all the time."
Taehyung's face went blank. Most of his friends were taking advantage of the people that had a crush on them, but it was very inappropriate to put it that way because it wasn't like they did it against their will. "I... I think it depends from case to case."
Jungkook nodded at that, thinking about it. "Yoongi is part of your group of friends?"
Taehyung shook his head.
"Great. Good news." Jungkook started moving around again, folding some covers they used during the movie.
"Wait... what is that supposed to mean?" Taehyung asked, not knowing whether he should feel attacked or not.
"I do strongly believe that some of your friends..." Jungkook turned around again. "Wait, actually you included. I think you guys are taking advantage of others' feelings just to get a good fuck. Sorry for being so blatantly honest."
"Ouch."
"Nothing personal."
"Wait, what makes you think all of us are doing that?" Taehyung knew that to some sort of an extent, Jungkook had some unpleasant experiences with Soo Hyun, but he didn't know anything about it since he had never asked.
"Yesterday, at the party, I saw you with that girl," Jungkook explained, handing Taehyung a mop to wipe the floor with. "I sweep you and wipe behind me."
Taehyung nodded. "Wait. I didn't do anything to Ma Rii, just helped her get a hold of herself after she drank too much."
"Huh?" Jungkook turned towards him again, a doubtful look on his face. "Seriously?"
"Of course?" Taehyung replied. "Firstly, I wouldn't do anything to someone who blanked out minutes ago, secondly, just to make sure you get my point, I'm hundred percent into boys."
"Oh. Okay."
Some time has passed and they quietly cleaned the rest of the room, focusing on the matter at hand, But Jungkook was eager to clean the unneeded tension between them by clearing the misunderstandings, so he asked again. "Why are you friends with them?"
He wanted the truth and Taehyung tried to be as honest as possible.
But why? He didn't quite know either. He just... was. It was the only group that took him under their wing when he was alone. They seemed pretty cool. Maybe Taehyung didn't agree with what they did all the time, but sometimes he liked to have fun. He liked to go to parties too, to dance, to be up to date with everything that was happening in their university.
"I can have fun with them sometimes." He eventually replied.
Jungkook just nodded, not pushing any further.
❀
Before going to sleep, Taehyung reached his limit. "I really need to poop. I don't think I can hold it in anymore."
"Actually... Same." Jungkook replied awkwardly in a low tone.
"I can't believe this is happening."
"We just need to be quick. And really, never talk about it ever again." Jungkook tried to reassure him, but it sounded more like he tried to reassure himself.
And it happened. And they made it work somehow. While Taehyung pooped, and he did it within lighting speed, Jungkook hid his head in a towel and laughed the entire time. When they exchanged places, Taehyung understood why Jungkook did what he did, so he took the towel this time and covered his head as well, laughing, waiting for Jungkook to finish.
When they were both done and exited the bathroom, they started laughing out loud for a good couple of minutes, until their tummies hurt. It wasn't something that someone gets to experience every day.
Taehyung felt tears in the corner of his eyes. "It was such a romantic thing to do. Imagine, pooping while holding hands."
At that, Jungkook laughed even harder. "I bet some authors will find this appropriate for bonding moments in their stories."
"Oh right, you are reading a lot of books, right?"
"Yes, I love reading and discussing books, but I've never been interested in writing." He offered, coming down from his laughing high. "I mean, I don't think I am."
"You should lend me some of your favorite books one day." Taehyung then smiled, watching Jungkook's uncertain figure.
"Oh, really? Do you still want to talk to me after we break free?"
"I mean.. Yes. Do you?" Taehyung double-checked, just to make sure.
"I mean... If you asked me yesterday I might have said no but now, I think I misjudged you." Jungkook replied sincerely. "Maybe you are different when you are not with them."
"I've never thought of that. And I've never tried to be any different, though. I'm just... me."
"I ... get it, and I want to be friends with you, the Kim Taehyung I've got to meet today, but um... let's take things slow," Jungkook explained, a troubled look on his face. Taehyung didn't want to push further and ruin the mood, so he agreed, feeling a lot lighter.
He thought Jungkook was insufferable up until the day before and well, he had his reasons. But the more time he spent with him, the more he realized the treatment he received might have been related to Soo Hyung and their group of friends more than to himself. Jungkook wasn't a bad guy, he just had some bad experiences.
❀
(please listen to the songs i recommend, they change the vibe of the story!)
Roll over, baby, don't be upset
How can you fall asleep when you feel like this?
So, come on, baby, let me hold you instead
Meet me halfway from your side of the bed
That night, before going to sleep they spent some more time talking. Sometimes, they were still bickering, because their personalities were quite different, but there were multiple things they agreed on, and Taehyung realized he hadn't felt so excited to spend time with someone in forever.
When thinking about Monday, and the fact that they might have to go back to their normal lives, Taehyung found himself feeling a heavy strain on his chest. He tried to ignore it, but it wasn't easy.
He knew little about what Jungkook had been through, but he started to discover him layer by layer, and in exchange, he told Jungkook basic things about him his other friends didn't even know. It was fascinating how Jungkook took interest in little things, boring things about him. Small, little facts that some would find insignificant.
Every interaction and the dynamic he had with Jungkook was new for him, his heart skipped a bit more often than it did his entire life in his presence, and he didn't know what that meant. Taehyung thought that was what others called butterflies. It wasn't the kind of butterflies that went to his dick, but butterflies that went to his heart. It was strange, making Taehyung flustered sometimes, but he didn't deny those feelings. He tried to observe them.
Maybe he was starting to like Jungkook, and he was a bit scared of the unknown. Taehyung hadn't really worked hard for someone he liked before, and Taehyung didn't know how it was to like someone that didn't like him back, so a lot of questions kept on popping up in his head. When Jungkook fell asleep soundly, Taehyung couldn't do that, not that easily.
Did he felt... excited? Happy? Looking forward to something, but to what?
Millions of questions appeared and he had the answer to none of them.
The only possible explanation by now was that he started seeing Jungkook differently. Taehyung would gladly accept these new, unexplored feelings of his, even though he was just just a tiny bit afraid. The whole thing made him feel good, yet deep down he knew that could be a problem.
Jungkook didn't seem to be the person to easily trust someone, and even though he admitted he wanted to be friends with Taehyung, he didn't look like he'd make such compromises for someone like Taehyung. Jungkook needed someone that could help him and protect him, would Taehyung be good enough for that? Ever even?
Maybe two hours have passed and when Taehyung felt like he was finally darting into sleep, he heard Jungkook sobbing once again.
His first instinct was to turn back around and leave him alone, as Jungkook mentioned before, it was a normal occurrence for him to happen.
But Taehyung just couldn't.
Something in his heart pulled him closer.
He got rid of the space left between him and Jungkook, rolled to his side of the bed, and took him into his arms. He just hoped Jungkook wouldn't push him away. "Hey, you are having a nightmare again, but it's okay, it is not real." He whispered in his ear until Jungkook stopped sobbing and opened his eyes.
"Taehyung?" Jungkook asked sleepily as if he forgot about the previous nightmare the moment he woke up. Taehyung could barely see him but his eyes adjusted in pitch dark, enough to see that eyes were still shiny, a tear falling down his cheek. Taehyung wanted to wipe it, but maybe it wasn't fitting to do that now.
"Yes, Jeon, the one and only." He replied gently, waiting to see Jungkook's reaction, hoping he would accept him in his personal space.
"W-what are you doing?" Jungkook then asked, wide eyes analyzing Taehyung's arm wrapped around him.
"I was trying to help you with the nightmares." He explained quickly and as Jungkook didn't appear to change his expression at all, confusion still there, he moved away, rolling back to his pillow.
"W-wait. Thank you!" Jungkook said, fingers gripping at the edge of his shirt. Taehyung turned around to meet his eyes again, and this time the street lights reflecting from the window fell on Jungkook's face. His hair was ruffled and the cheeks were covered in dry tears, yet he looked so lovely and pretty, Taehyung thought he belonged to a different world, not the ugly one they were living in.
"Don't mention it. I... I couldn't sleep anyway."
Jungkook nodded and opened his mouth again shily. "W-would you stay a bit longer then?"
Taehyung stopped in his tracks, surprised to say the least. Did Jungkook want him to... go back to holding him?
"Sure." He replied, trying to look as unaffected as possible. He moved back to the previous position, but this time he brought Jungkook closer, holding his head to his chest. It was more comfortable for both like that. "Do you want to talk about it...?"
"I don't know..." Jungkook replied after a while.
"I wouldn't judge you, no matter what it is...I promise." Taehyung reassured him, not used to comforting someone but with a strange and strong urge to help Jungkook.
Jungkook sighed, lifting his gaze to meet Taehyung's. His eyes still sparkled in the dark, holding the sky full of scars within, making Taehyung feel like holding his breath for a second there. "It's related to my ex-boyfriend," Jungkook explained, to which Taehyung nodded, already knowing, not needing confirmation that it was about Soo Hyun.
"I've... never told anyone about this besides Jimin, so it feels kind of weird." Jungkook continued and Taehyung wanted to reply by holding him even closer. It felt like an urge, like it was a natural thing he had to do. Jungkook looked vulnerable and honest, something Taehyung wanted to have for himself.
He had no right to feel like that, but he didn't want the wrong person to see Jungkook like this.
Little by little Taehyung started feeling but not admitting to it. It was jealousy and anger... What did Soo Hyun do to Jungkook to fill him with so much regret and bring him in such a state?
"I don't know whether I can help much, but I can listen very well," Taehyung promised with the kindest, warmest smile he had. It was Jungkook's cue to continue.
"I moved to Seoul for my Senior High School year with Jimin, since we are childhood friends and... it has been our dream since we were kids. Jimin and I are different breeds, to be honest. He has always been the heart of the parties, while I was... I preferred movie nights to parties, so that should tell you a lot about myself." Jungkook explained with a sheepish smile on his lips. Taehyung returned it.
"But when we moved to Seoul, life was really different here, and since High School, Jimin started attending parties, going to clubs, and sometimes, obviously, I would tag along. Call it curiosity. During one of those nights I met Soo Hyung, and not going into details, I think I fell in love and thought that he did the same."
"Wait, so you met him during senior year, in High School?" Taehyung was a bit shocked at the information because as far as he remembered, Soo Hyun might have mentioned Jungkook once or twice, but he made it look like they'd been together for a short while.
"Yes, and we'd been in a relationship for more than one year," Jungkook stated, regret in his voice. "I know you might know since you have been his friend since college started, but I didn't. He attended parties when I thought he went to sleep, he said he was busy studying when he was out with other people doing God knows what, and I was patiently waiting for his texts, for our dates, and so on. I found out he was cheating on me thanks to Jimin who saw him one night with another person."
Taehyung didn't know what to say. He kind of had an inkling that it would be the case. Soo Hyun wasn't the type of guy who would be able to stick to a relationship, but why did he stay with Jungkook, someone who thrived on commitment?
"Anyway." Jungkook changed his tone just a little, not sad anymore, sounding annoyed. "What I regret the most at the moment, is that I didn't respect myself enough and accepted being fooled by him."
Taehyung wetted his lips before replying, feeling a bit restless. "I'm sorry to hear that he did such a thing to you. I mean I didn't know about it and even if I did... the timing wouldn't have let me help." He said it sincerely, knowing that, as the piece of shit he was, he wouldn't have done anything since he doesn't care about others and what they do with their relationships. It made him feel disgusted at himself.
"It's alright. I read a lot about these types of people, like him. It's not his fault that he is like that, I just... hate him for not admitting that he couldn't stay loyal, for lying to me, for pretending what we had was perfect just to spend the night together and whatnot, when in fact, he was a coward."
"And... that's why you don't attend parties anymore..." Taehyung concluded, finally at ease because some things started to make sense.
Jungkook nodded. "Yes, besides many other reasons, because no offense, my best friend is ever so present at parties, but most of the guys that you find there are just like him. I started hating everything that's related to a party since that time. I... it's easier and much better to stay at home, doing whatever makes me happy, rather than jumping in an environment that gives me such anxiety."
Taehyung couldn't blame Jungkook because he didn't know how it felt to be cheated on but could imagine that the experience must be traumatizing. He himself has never been in a relationship longer than three months, not taking much interest in the concept of falling in love.
"I haven't been in a long relationship before because I didn't find the right person, but to think that you thought you found them just to turn out like this... I totally get you. "
Jungkook murmured a thank you then let out a long sigh. "I keep on dreaming about it, he gave me so many insecurities, and I'm trying my best to work on myself. To forget. But it isn't easy, because during the day I'm pretty good, but at night my mind is torturing me. That's why I try to stay away from everything related. It is triggering nightmares."
"But... Jungkook, you are an amazing guy, and I haven't known you for a long time. I am so. so sure that you will find someone that will erase this horrific past experience, someone that will make you happier than ever. And that's when you will be fully happy. You will smile all the time, and the past will be just past." Taehyung felt like being that person for Jungkook for a second there, but he knew he couldn't because he barely got to know him, so he just spoke his thoughts out at that moment.
Jungkook opened his eyes wide, looking at him, and Taehyung moved his gaze quickly not to scare Jungkook away. "Thank you, for listening."
"Don't mention it." Taehyung smiled, trying to control the emotions he never thought he had. "I... just to clarify, I never cheated on anyone, even though I'm friends with Soo Hyun. We... I mean, contrary to how it looks, no one in our group agrees to this type of stuff. We don't glorify cheating, and whatever happened between you and Soo Hyun, we know none of it."
And it was true. Taehyung spent his first year of university with Soo Hyun and his group of friends because they made him feel like he was part of something, and he actually was, but they never got to know each other that well.
They all shared all kinds of experiences, frustrations sometimes, but there was a huge wall of mistrust placed between them, and none had the courage to go past it. Taehyung didn't care much, though. His intention had never been to make friends for life with them, but just have someone to hang out with, not to be alone.
It was kind of egoistic to do such a thing, but what made him feel better was the fact that most of them were the same.
"I am sorry for misjudging you, Taehyung," Jungkook spoke with honesty, making Taehyung feel a bit better now knowing that he wasn't going to get the wrong impression on him.
"Same here, actually. I never put much effort into listening to others, but meeting you made me realize I've been missing out on a lot of things."
"I hope, you too, will find the right person, one day," Jungkook murmured against his chest, cuddling himself against Taehyung a bit more, in silence, before Taehyung got back to his pillow and Jungkook off to sleep.
I have a feeling I have already found that person.
❀