Onika Tanya Maraj
Days at Bootcamp: 14.
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Onika was still struggling but she definitely has made progress.
When her farther woke her up she didn't complain about getting up outloud anyways. She got up and started to jog with him.
"This sucks. I hate this." Onika said as she collapsed on the sand again; her farther was just smiling. Onika was too busy trying not to pass out to realize she lasted a little longer before falling.
He handed her cold water, "Good job." He stated and Onika smiled a bit as she wheezed. "Wheezy." He stated and she groaned as she laughed at her.
"That was a good workout, you should probably stop falling onto the sand it will increase your chances of actually passing out." He stated and Onika was still trying to breath.
"Fuck you." Onika said—but she was smiling as she looked up at her farther.
"Fuck you too." He said back grinning.
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Days at Bootcamp: 14.
Onika was the one to wake her farther up this morning, she ran into his bedroom and jumped on his bed like she did when she was a little kid.
"Bastard! Get up! Get up!" She yelled and he groaned.
"I'm not even up this early Onika." He said and she just fell on the floor when he pushed her off.
She didn't mind, she was still smiling as she laid there.
"Dad." She said and he opened one eye, he turned on his lamp that was right next to his bed and looked down at his daughter.
Her hair was a mess, she was wearing that T shirt he thinks is nerdy again—along with wearing his sweatpants that he isn't sure how she can fit —but she was smiling.
"I don't feel it anymore." Onika stated and her farther had just woken up—so he was slightly confused on what she was talking about.
"That—that urge. I don't—I don't feel it anymore. 2 days ago I thought maybe it was a off day, yesterday though I didn't feel anything and now.." She trailed off.
"You're not having withdrawals anymore." He stated finally realizing what his daughter was talking about.
She turned her head towards him with tears pooling at the corners of her eyes, she started shaking her head.
"I-I'm not."
She said crawling into his bed and hugging him. "Thank you." She said into his shoulder—the two hadn't had an actual hug in years, besides the one where Onika came in panicked and drunk.
He smiled rubbing her back. "I'm proud of you Oni." He stated going back to her original nick name.
"I want you to remember though, just because you're not having it physically doesn't mean it isn't still there." He said and Onika frowned.
"It's called psychological withdrawal. It can last up to 2 years Oni." He stated and Onikas mood was dampened.
"Don't let that discourage you though. Recovery isn't easy. You'll still be second guessing yourself at times too. Don't listen to that little voice alright? I'm happy you're immediate with-drawl is gone, but I can tell you had an emotional connection to whatever drug you were using." He stated and Onika gulped. He was right.
"Still be proud of yourself. You've come a long way." Robert stated as he rolled over.
"Now go back to sleep." He stated and Onika turned in his bed.
"Can I sleep here?" She asked she heard a hum and took it as a yes.
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6 year old Onika
Onika heard rattling—and shaking of something as she laid awake in bed surrounded by her stuffed animals.
it was disturbing her sleep, and she was kind of scared. She got up and grabbed her favorite stuffed animal, "Mr. Bear" and quietly walked to Mings room.
She opened her door quietly and shook her, to hear her groan. "What?" She asked and Onika pouted.
"I hear a sound." Onika stated as Ming got up rubbing her eyes, "We all hear sounds Onika." She muttered.
"No—no but it's coming from the bathroom. Ming ming can you please check it out with me?" Onika begged.
"I dont even hear—" Ming cut herself off when she did hear rustling coming from their bathroom. The two sisters eyed each other.
Ming took Onikas hand before dropping it, "Stay here." She stated. Onika pouted; she wanted to see what it was.
"Is it a monster?" Onika asked and Ming shook her head, "Probably not." The older sibling mumbled.
Ming walked outside of her room and tip toed to the bathroom where she could see a shining light, she heard a cream and directed her head to Onika who decided to follow her.
"Why don't you ever listen to directions?" Ming asked harshly. "I wanted to see." Onika whined.
Ming just rolled her eyes and peaked in the bathroom, along with Onika right behind her.
They saw their farther—snorting some sort of white powder, Ming knew what it was. Onika didn't.
"What's he doing?" Onika asked and Ming just covered Onikas eyes, "His nightly routine." Ming mumbled.
She picked Onika up, the girl was pretty small— and walked her back to her room. "Stay here—and I mean it this time." Ming stated pointing a finger at Onika and the younger girl nodded.
Ming walked back outside, heading towards the bathroom with a little knock. Robert turned around and was in shock seeing his 12 year old.
"M-Ming I uh—"
Ming just shook her head, "You're lying to mama. You say you're getting better and then do this. With your kids in the house? Onika almost saw." Ming said harshly.
Ming had to grow up faster than she would've liked, her parents were always so busy arguing or working that she was often the one taking care of Onika—playing with her even though at times she was reluctant, walking her to school, attempting to distract her from behaviors like this.
"Ming I—
"Don't give me excuses, I'm old enough to know what the hell that is dad. I'm not stupid." She mumbled walking away and Robert was stunned.
Ming walked back to Onikas bedroom to find her still hugging her stuffed animal, she shut the door behind her quietly.
"Can you—can you sleep with me tonight?" Onika asked, Ming didn't want to—but she got in her bed anyways.
"Thank you ming ming." Onika said before drifting off, Ming just sighed and laid on her back.
"You're welcome Oni."
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Onikas eyes fluttered opened from her dream. It was more of a memory.
The man in that dream is not the same man she's being trained by. That's something she realized.
She got up, it was still early but he was already up. She decided to tend to her routine that she developed that she didn't previously have.
She took a shower, got dressed in comfy clothes and went down to the kitchen—her farther left her a bowl of sliced fruit and she smiled. She didn't usually eat fresh—she thought his little speech about eating a bit healthier can make you feel better was bullshit but she did enjoy it first thing in the morning.
She took it with her, along with a fork where she saw her farther, sitting on a stool on his back porch. As Onika got closer she noticed he had a easel and some paints with him.
She sat right next to him and watched him paint.
"This is so new." Onika mumbled looking at her farther.
He chuckled a bit knowing what she was referring to. "I've been doing this for the couple years. It's calming." He stated and Onika could agree. She thinks Beyoncé likes painting.
"I miss her.." Onika said out loud with a sigh, she didn't realize she said it till her farther eyed her. "That girl you keep begging me to give you your phone to talk to? Beyoncé?" He asked and Onika avoided eye contact.
"I'm taking your nervous tapping as a yes." He decided as he mixed his colors.
"She's new. You only used to hang around that junkie Lauren." He stated and Onika gulped nervously.
There was a few minutes of silence, watching people pass by on the beach, watching the waves come and then pull back.
"What made you realize you needed to get sober?" Onika asked. Her farther continued to paint.
"Your mother."He stated and Onika turned her head, his tone changed.
"She was the light of my life. I was truly in love with her Onika." He stated as he continued to paint.
"She gave me this giddy feeling. She also put me in my place—not a lot of woman were able to do that." He stated. Onika smiled at the way he talked about her mother.
"I first tried out drugs when I was 16. My mother always had them around because she was an addict herself. She didn't notice that I noticed her needles, and pills and all different types of powders." He said calmly.
"I stopped when I graduated high-school mainly because of your mom. I met her in college. I told her all about my mother—and she hugged me while I cried." He said and Onika has only seen her farther cry on very rare occasions.
"But then—I got injured." He said and Onika didn't remember the crash but she knew it happened.
"You were around 2, your sister was 8. I got in a car crash—I'm alive obviously but they prescribed me medication." He said sighing. He stopped painting for a second.
"You got addicted to your prescription?" Onika asked lowly and he nodded. "I would sometimes hurt myself on purpose—just to get a taste. When that became too dangerous I turned to the streets." He mumbled.
"Your mother found out pretty quickly; she was and is an excellent nurse so I wasn't surprised. she attempted to get me to go Rehab but every-time I tried I couldn't last more than a few days." He said chuckling at himself—it was at his own expense.
"I was a weak man Onika. And then—she couldn't take it anymore. She made it clear that she still loved me. But she couldn't let you guys see me the way I was anymore." He said.
"After she told me that I went out and did every type of drug I could find. I think I remember the exact moment I realized I needed help." He said remembering,
"When was it?" Onika asked barely above. whisper.
"I was in a alley way, with a needle in my arm. I thought about you, and Ming and Carol. I thought about my family—and about how weak I felt. I never wanted to feel that way again. And I knew if I continued—I'd never get to see you guys again." He said sighing.
"How'd you do it?" Onika asked and he smiled at her curiosity.
"I got up, and got myself an apartment. I stayed away from streets and people I knew sold drugs and did them. I went to therapy as well—that really made me realize some shit. Some days were harder than others. But I formed a peaceful lifestyle." He smiled.
"Recovery isn't easy. It isn't just realizing you need help and getting it. It's fighting through so many other obstacles and realizing how strong you truly are." He stated looking Onika in the eye.
Onika gulped again and looked away, "I—I overdosed." Onika mumbled and her farther completely stopped his actions.
"I knew I needed help but rehab didn't feel like a working option. I tried to stay sober for other people not for myself. I think that's where I went wrong." Onika mumbled looking out towards the sea.
"I was guilting myself into getting sober. Not actually trying." Onika said and her farther was happy she realized it.
He continued to paint, keeping an ear out. He wanted Onika to tell him stuff on her own.
"I dropped out of college."
He wasn't expecting that.
He turned his head in full surprise, he tried to keep his facial expressions neutral. "I'm sorry." She whimpered looking down and he immediately starting shaking his head.
"I'm not mad; I'm not upset or angry. I would like to know why though." He said and Onikas bottom lip quivered.
She looked up at her farther, there was no sign of judgement in his dark brown eyes. "Please—please don't judge me okay?" Onika asked and her farther shook his head.
"I won't judge you Oni." He promised.
"I—I got pregnant—from a guy I didn't even know." Onika confessed and her farther almost dropped his paint brush.
"A-And a video spread everywhere of it. I didn't even believe it was me till my head turned. S-Safaree was pissed at me—no one looked at me the same I tried my hardest not to let it get to me but I failed." Onika sobbed.
Onika didn't want to drop out, she enjoyed her college life—till it took a turn for the worst.
He got up and hugged Onika. Resting his head on top of hers. "Shh..breath for me." He said. He was beyond pissed off—but he knew him showing any anger wouldn't help Onika.
"Did they find the bastard?" He asked after a few seconds of silence and he closed his eyes in frustration when Onika shook her head.
"They—they didn't even believe I was blacked out—and h-his face wasn't in the video. Just mine." Onika hiccuped.
"After I found out—I—I ran to Ming. And I got—well let's just say I never had the baby." Onika mumbled and her farther continued rubbing her back.
She pulled away and wiped her tears—strangely she felt better talking about it. Especially to her farther.
"A-After that I started—I started doing drugs." Onika mumbled.
"I'm proud of you for telling me. Please don't feel ashamed Onika." He said and Onika couldn't help but to.
"B-But there's a video out there of just me..knowing that someone has that—knowing that people have seen it makes me sick." Onika confessed.
"That's why I cut you and mom off. I didn't want to deal with the disappointment I thought you guys would throw my way." She said and he shook his head.
"Who am I to shame you? Your mother wouldn't had shamed you either. I think this whole disappointment thing is all in your head ya know." He said nudging Onika.
Onika began to feel like her farther was right—he wasn't angry when he found out. He didn't shame her. Neither did Ming or Beyoncé.
"You shouldn't care about the opinions of people who don't have your respect. And don't respect you. You shouldn't be influenced by them either." He said and Onika sniffled.
"I—I probably need therapy." Onika chuckled a bit and her farther nodded, "Probably? I thought that was already decided." He said and Onika nudged him.
She laid her head on his shoulder, "I'm really tired." She mumbled and he smiled. "You can go back to sleep. Love you." He said kissing her cheek.
As she got up she noticed him pick up his paintbrush and their was a a clear name on his wrist. It must've been one of his tattoos.
"Onika + Ming ♡"
She smiled a bit and retreated back inside, she was a little tired from crying but she felt better.
Robert managed to hold it together while talking to Onika but when she when back inside the older man broke down.
Meanwhile..
Beyoncé Giselle Knowles
Beyoncé had been handling Onikas absence a little bit depressingly.
Solo noticed she's more sluggish around the house and always stares at the sunset on her break.
She knows it has something to do with Onika, but she didn't pry.
Beyoncé decided to write out her thoughts, into letters. She knew she was never going to give them to Onika—but they made her feel better.
July 31st
i know she'll be back but I can't help but wonder how she's doing, like really doing.
I have a feeling she hides her emotions a lot, I hope she learns that's not a good idea.
I miss watching the sunset together, I miss our late night trips—I miss seeing her smile.
I know this detox or whatever is going to help her so that makes it easier to deal with—am i being clingy?
i mean i've never felt this way about anyone before. Especially a girl.
It feels too kiddy to call it a crush but I'm sure i had one on her when we first met and i'm not sure what it's manifested into these past few months
i really hope she feels better
at the end of the day, i really miss her
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Y'all know the drill, how was the chapter??
leave any thoughts about Robert, Onika, Beyoncé or whatever right here I love reason yalls comments