25. LAST SHOW OF THE SUMMER TOUR
Eevi
Imagine being loved by the way you love.
Imagine that someone would love you more than anything else in this world.
Imagine that someone would say to you "I love you".
It must feel amazing, when someone holds you, and doesn't let go. The way you get shivers from your loved one's touch.
I would love to have someone who would look at me like Jack looks Rose from Titanic. I have watched that movie so many times with Niko.
And everytime I cry when I watch it.
The way they love each other so much, and wants to live together forever.
But then Jack dies, and saves Rose. That's true love.
I want that kind of love, but it would be better if he wouldn't sacrifice himself for me.
I'm scared that Olli doesn't feel the same. We have been best friends, and we can share everything to each other. We can talk about everything. We can laugh, cry and argue with each other.
And I'm scared that the actions that I will do, will ruin it all. Yes, he knows about the poem and that I wrote it. He knows now that I loved him back then.
But he doesn't know I still love him.
Some days I can't stop thinking about him, and other days I wonder if I'm wasting my time.
Tampere, the last gig of this tour. I was sitting on the edge of the stage while boys did their soundcheck and stuff. I had my sunglasses on, and I looked up to the sky. For a moment I closed my eyes, and I took a deep breath.
Someone sat next to me, I didn't open my eyes. I wanted to stay in my imaginary world for a while.
A world where someone loves me. World where someone holds me at night, gives me kisses and smiles when he sees me.
It's a place where I feel safe, happy.
How it feels like to be happy? Like, truly happy.
So happy that no words can describe that.
I know, not everyone is always happy. But I would like to be. Not always, I'm sure it would be boring.
But.. only a moment would be enough.
With him I'm happy.
"What are you dreaming of?" A voice interrupted my thoughts. The one who sat next to me. I opened my eyes and turned my head on his direction. It was Tommi.
I looked back to the sky.
"What do you mean?" I quietly asked.
He chuckled quietly.
"I know you, Eevi. I know that look on your face." He answered, and took sip of his water bottle.
"I'm just imagining what it would feel like to be loved.. I know it's silly..." I chuckled nervously.
"It's not. You have many people around you who loves you." He said and I turned my eyes on him again.
"No I mean.. different kind of love. Like.. love. Don't know how to describe it." I moved my hands nervously.
He just nodded lightly and we both looked far away to the front. Soon this night this place will be full of people. Thousand ones.
"You know, I'm always here for you. And you can always call me, if you feel like it." He suddenly said. I landed my eyes on him, and he just stared forward.
"I know that. And I will." I smiled. He turned his head on me, and smiled too. I leaned to his shoulder, and he put his arm around me.
"I'm sure you will find the one. Don't worry about it. And if he doesn't see it, then you have to move on. I'm sorry to say that but.. you have so much to give, but if you don't get the same back, then don't waste your time." He then told me.
"What are you guys talking about?" Aleksi suddenly stood behind us, we let go of each other and turned to see him. He looked a bit confused.
"Nothing, now go to work, both of you." I said and looked Tommi, he smiled to me as a respond and stood up. I decided too, Tommi went on his ways but Aleksi kept staring me in front of me, while I wiped my jeans.
"What..?" I chuckled as I saw how he stared me.
"Oh, nothing. Uhm.. actually there is something." He answered and I lifted my eyes up and looked him.
I frowned, he looked.. scared?
"I heard Olli talking to his phone.. he sounded pissed.. I think he talked with Emilia." He mumbled.
"What did they talk about?" I asked, maybe a little bit afraid. That name.. that woman.. will I ever get rid of her? And will she ever leave Olli alone?
"I'm not sure, something about their apartment.. furnitures and some tickets maybe?" He frowned as he explained.
"Okay.. well thanks for telling me." I smiled to him as I patted his shoulder, he only nodded and we both went to different ways.
Felt like we are agents or partners in crime.
"Okay okay, those fans are going crazy already." Santeri chuckled as he came to us. The gig would start in fifteen minutes. Boys were jumping around, jamming to the music and being nervous. This would be the last gig of this tour, and there is so many people.
Joonas was jumping and fooling around, and I felt his hands around my waist from behind.
"Joonas what-" I didn't had the chance to say more, when he lifted me up and spinned around. I just chuckled and hold on so tight like my life was on danger. And it definitely was.
"Joonas let me down!" I shouted and he stopped and did what I asked. He just laughed, and I couldn't help but do the same.
"I'm so excited you know!" He said happily and I just watched his craziness amused.
Only couple minutes to go, Aleksi came to me, and he came pretty close to me.
"There is someone over there." He whispered and looked behind me. Frowning I turned around.
"What the fuck?!" I shout whispered and Aleksi took me by my hand and turned me back to face him.
"Please do something before she gets here." He continued and soon he runned to the stage with Tommi.
I took a very deep breath.
"Show them boys!" I shouted to them and they only showed me thumbs up.
Then it was time to face the beast.
I walked and walked, until I reached that blonde woman who looked like she was lost.
"Hello and what the fuck are you doing here? Who let you in?" I asked pissed, trying to act as calm as possible. I saw how her face changed immediately and she rolled her eyes.
"That one man over there let me in, where is.. well you know who." She showed me that bitch face again.
"Gig starts now, and I ask you to leave now." I said serious, she chuckled.
"You don't rule over here. I came here to talk with Olli, nothing more." She chuckled and shook her head.
"Very bad timing tho. We have a big after party tonight, and you are the last person we all want to see there."
She only rolled her eyes again.
"I have a permission to come here." She hissed.
"By who?" I chuckled and crossed my arms against my chest.
"By Joel." She grinned. She had that evil grin. My face dropped.
Joel. What the fuck?
"So.. excuse me." She said with high note and walked past me. I stood there, frozed. I stared the ground. Everything around me faded away.
I had so much anger inside me right now. Too much.
Too fucking much! I will explode right here in any minute, I swear to god!
That man will hear his glory right away when he comes from the stage.
I followed every move Emilia made, she tried so hard to be friendly to everyone in here backstage. She made that annoying smile. She giggled about everything. I can't stand that woman. What Olli will say when he sees her here? Like, is it okay for him?
The gig was over, boys came from the stage and they all looked tired and sweaty, but still so happy. I was always so happy to see them like that, doing what they love the most. Immediately I runned to Olli, and he took me into a hug and we both laughed.
"That was it." He whispered to my ear.
"That's only the beginning." I smiled to him when we pulled apart.
He smiled to me back. It felt like in this moment was only us. Like everything disappeared around us.
Until I heard Joel's voice.
That's the moment when I remembered one thing.
I looked to the right side of me, and saw Joel taking long sips of water.
I walked to him, annoyed, pissed and with so much anger and confusion.
I took a tight grip of his wrist, and started to lead him a bit farther from everybody else.
"Woah, what's happening?" He laughed. I let go of him, and turned around.
"What the fuck is your problem man!" I shouted and pushed him by his chest. He looked amused, but still confused.
"What?" He chuckled and spread his hands.
"Emilia, what the fuck is she doing here? Why you gave her the permission to come here? Why!" I tried to shout quietly, but don't know if I succeeded.
He raised his eyebrows and nodded, while taking a sip of his water.
"Yeah, look.. she put me many messages in instagram. She begged to come here, and promised to behave." He explained. I just shook my head, tears in my eyes.
"You do this to annoy me." I said with shaking voice.
Then his face changed. He looked confused, and he frowned.
"I have told you many times.. you like to see me angry.. suffering..." I sobbed. I felt so weak right now. Don't remember when I have felt this weak.
He came closer, I tried to avoid him but he dropped his water bottle to the ground and took me into a tight hug. I tried to push him away, but he was stronger.
I cried, a lot. It was hard to breath. I can't breath.
"Let go of me you piece of shit!" I sobbed and shouted, he tightened his grip.
"How many times I have to tell you that I don't want anything bad to you, huh?" He asked gently while I kept crying and fighting against his grip.
"Let go of me..!" I sobbed, but quietly this time.
I was getting tired. I didn't fight against his grip anymore.
"I'm sorry." He whispered.
"Joel, what the fuck Emilia is doing here?" I heard Niko's voice from behind Joel.
"I gave her the permission. Now all of you there shut the fuck up and let all the hate on me!" Joel said pissed.
"Eevi?" Niko asked calmly. I didn't answer, neither did Joel.
Steps were coming closer, and he clearly took a grip of Joel's shoulder and pushed him away from my grip. I met Niko's eyes. He looked shocked when he saw my crying face.
He frowned and took me into a hug. I wrapped my hands around his body.
"Now Joel, go to the others and explain." Niko commanded.
I heard how Joel started walking, and his steps got further and further away.
"Don't know if I'm able to party with you guys..." I whispered. He stroked my back.
Gently he pulled us apart, and our eyes met. I remember many times when I have cried, and Niko, my big brother, has always been there to comfort me.
"Hey.. don't worry about Emilia, or that asshole who invited her. I have an idea." He started to smirk.
I wiped my tears away.
"Let's get so wasted that we don't remember anything from this night. Does that sound good?" He stroked my shoulders and he made me chuckle.
"That sounds dangerous.. but I'm in." I answered and he chuckled and gave me one quick hug.
Oh.. well that blonde problem is here again. Will she cause problems or behave? And what Olli will think about this? What will happen in the after party?
So many guestions, maybe you'll find out in the next chapter.
Thank you so much for your feedback and votes!
And I'm glad you're reading this story <3
Stay strong and safe🖤