I was regretful. I Never in my whole life wanted to make anyone cry, but I did. I become the reason for Shifa's tears. She was crying because I read her diary. I know my limits, I respect others privacy but that was a misunderstanding. I found her diary under the table and thought it was left by someone else but Shifa. when I found it was hers I started reading a random page where a line surprised me. It was 'He was a dream of mine, which I wanted to live with open eyes.' I never thought it was her personal diary. With the thought that it was her new script, I started reading from the beginning and after a few pages, I understand the reality. I wanted to leave reading but couldn't. Curiosity dragged me to read it till the end, I wanted to know what the smiling face of this girl is practically hiding behind, and I was shocked.
At first, I couldn't believe that Shifa was in love with a guy who was also interested in her... But till the end of the diary, I understood that she is hiding her pains behind a big smile.
Just like me,
I felt her pain, it's not manageable to exhibit yourself happy in front of others when you're actually broken from inside. I also love Adeena and when our fate pulled us apart I was broken. I stopped smiling, even I failed to address my feelings with correct words. Ammi and baba were worried about me but I didn't share with anyone what was going on in my small imaginary world which I had built with Adeena.
I'm surprised how Shifa used to smile in front of her parents? How she could be so strong? She is not only strong but genuine too. She did not use any cursing or harsh word for her Rani Phuppo. Not even once. It's the testimony of her kindness. She doesn't even hate her enemy. I started respecting this girl from the deepest core of my heart.
After Adeena, Shifa is the girl who is on the top of all my known girls. She is just like Adeena.
I'm hating myself, I made her cry and her wet eyes made me remember Adeena.
"It's okay David... I'm fine man."
"Your hand is bleeding, you're not fine." He tried to see my palm but I didn't remove my other hand.
"What happened Daniyal?" I suddenly looked up, with a panicked face Adeena was standing in front of my eyes. "Who told her?" I asked David in a whisper and she glared at me.
"What were you doing that you hurt yourself?" Kneeling in front of me she slowly held my hand. For the first time, I felt her delicate hand against mine.
"It's fine Adeena." she glared at me one more time before opening the first aid kit which she brought from the medical room. "S-Show me," I felt her touch which gave me goosebumps. I silently open my fist and she gasped. "Why you're so careless Daniyal?" She muttered before looking up.
"Adeena it's alright." I smiled but this time her cheeks and nose turned red. She was going to cry. "No, it's not alright." She blinked away her tears while cleaning my wound and dressing it, I keep watching her face. David smirked looking at both of us then left us alone.
"Adeena."
"Hmm?"
"You also love me. Aren't you?" My hand was still in hers, and we were peeping into one another's eyes
"No." She left my hand while shaking her head. "Then why are you crying for me? Do you cry for everyone?" I questioned and she shook her head. "First of all, I am not crying and in an addition Why would I cry for your small wound?"
Such a white lie...
"If not this wound then what will make you cry? My separation or my death?" I asked without any strong reason and this time her eyes dropped two tears.
"Think twice before saying rubbish" she stood up in hurry and I grabbed her hand. "Why don't you just confess your love for me, Adeena?" I asked a little louder and she stared at me for a few long moments. Her eyes gathered new tears and she freed her hand from my grip.
"I don't love you." She muttered with wet eyes and I smiled because her eyes never indicate the truthfulness of this statement.
"You're not my love, Daniyal." She stopped but I waited for her to begin again, and her remaining verdict shocked me "You're my dream. And dreams are not meant to be love, they are so fragile that a snap could separate them from you... You're just a dream... Not reality of my life." This time she left me sitting alone--
She was in tears... Just like Shifa...
I made both of them cry...
"Daniyal, Where are you lost?" someone shook my shoulder.
"What's wrong?"
"Ammi I made her cry."
"What? Whom?'' Ammi asked and I shook my head after realising what I was doing!
"Is there any problem?" Ammi asked and I smiled while shaking my head, but my ammi... This lady never fails to understand my feelings.
"Daniyal what's the matter?" She asked while holding my hand. "Something related to Shifa?" She added and I sigh.
"No ammi."
"Daniyal aap ne mujhe aur apne baba ko preshan kar diya hai, na aap kuch batate hain na hamari baat sunte hain."
(Daniyal, you have troubled me and your father, you neither share your problem nor listen,o us.)
"I don't have anything to tell you." I shrugged.
"Shifa is a nice girl," Ammi muttered and a smile captured my lips. "No doubt, she is." I nodded.
"I wanna go to her home with your proposal. I know you also like her."
Not again!!!
"Yeah I like her but not in that way, Ammi. We're only colleagues. I like her because she is a kind girl... Just it."
"Daniyal y..." Before Ammi could say something my mobile started ringing and I was surprised by the name flashing on the screen. It was Shifa's call. Ammi looks at my mobile phone then at me then at the clock. Her eyes were evidently asking me only one question. 'If there is nothing between you both then why she is calling you at 11 of the night?'
"Excuse me." Mumbling that I stepped out from Sammi's room and received the call.
"Hello."
"Hello Shifa?'' There was a silence on the other side.
"Shifa I'm sorry." I apologise again while stepping into my room and locking the door I sat down on the couch.
"Deni." After all, she at least speaks up.
"Yeah Shifa."
"Please don't —” and she sobbed making my heart clench as I was the sole reason behind her tears. "don't tell this to anyone." Somehow she continued in her shaking voice and I sigh.
"Aapko lagta hai main ye baate kisi ko bataunya? Shifa main itna bhi bura insaan nhi hu."
(Do you really think I would pass this to others? Shifa, I'm not that bad.)
"Deni I don't want anyone else to know about it."
"Shifa... Your secret is safe with me till my last breath." I tried to assure her.
"Promise?" She asked and I close my eyes for a while. "I swear Shifa... Trust me I won't. And please forgive me..." I pleaded and soon listen to a beep. The call was ended and my heart sinks because of guilt.
Guilt is like a stone on the heart which doesn't let you feel alright.
<><><><><><>
Wiping the tears she cut the call. Could I trust Deni in this matter? Maybe or maybe not... I don't know? He seems to be trustworthy but it's not easy for me to trust anyone except one. Saying in her heart she decided to pray for a better future. She smiled with tears and spread the prayer mat. "Allah paak I can't handle problems anymore..." Mumbling that she went to sujud (prostrate) and cried as hard as one could. The poor girl was already broken from inside it was getting difficult for her to hold herself in front of in this cruel world. She was trying her best to look happy but it's not so easy to act normal.
"Allah paak... I can't handle another burden, please help me. No one else could understand me." She didn't realise when started feeling sleepy? And soon she passed out on the prayer mat only.
<><><><><><><>
"Suniye." Maryam sat down beside Anwar who was trying to sleep. "Hmm?" A cold hum rang in the air.
"Shifa is not happy with your decision."
"Why Maryam?"
"You also know Shariq's behaviour towards her." Maryam put her point but Anwar sighed.
"After getting married he will understand how to behave with his wife." Maryam sigh and looked at her husband who was not even paying attention to her.
"And what about Rani baji?" This time her tone was pretty rude which forced Anwar to open his eyes. "What about her?"
"You might not even remember what your sister did to me! Now she'll do the same thing to my daughter... I can't see my daughter facing what I had faced." Anwar was shocked! She was the same Maryam who never argue with him, but this time she wasn't a timid wife but a strong mother who was not scared of anything.
"Your daughter? Is Shifa only your daughter not mine?" Anwar asked with furrowed brows and Maryam looked away. "Do you really need an answer?"
Anwar sat down on the bed with a jolt "kehna kya chahti ho, Maryam?"
(what do you wanna say?)
"Aap ki pta hai aapne aaj tak jo bhi kaha main sab kuch kyu sunti rahi? Aapki amma aur behen ne mere sath jo bhi kara maine sab chup reh kar kyu seh liya?" Maryam asked in a bitter cold tone, Anwar was surprised to listen that tone of his wife who never open her mouth in front of his anger form but today Maryam was angry and Anwar was shocked.
(Do you know why I have bear your anger and all the taunts of your sister and mother?)
"Kyuki main majbur thi, maine apni galti ki saza bhugati hai... lekin meri beti ne koi galti nhi kri hai to Shariq se shadi kar ke use saza kyu di jaa rahi hai? Galti kya hai us ladki ki iske alawa ki wo meri beti hai?" Maryam's lips trembled and Anwar's expressions shifted to anger.
(Because I was helpless. It's my punishment... But my daughter is innocent then why is supposed to live in this situations? She has only one mistake that she's daughter)
"Ye rishta tumhare liye sirf ek saza hai?" Anwar's question was not so simple. It's true Maryam's married life with Anwar was not perfect but tagging that punishment is also not correct.
(This relationship is just a punishment for you?)
Sometimes he was hell rude.
His cold behaviour was unchanged. His inexpressive nature was still like a wall between him and Maryam.
Sometimes his anger hit boundaries...
But...
He loves Maryam silently.
He cares for her without showing off.
He never failed to represent himself as a good father.
And above all...
He owns a kind heart
Maryam's silence gives an unexpected answer to her husband which eventually hurt him.
"Agar tum apni beti ke liye koi aur rishta dhundh chuki ho to mujhe bata dena..." With these harsh but hush words Anwar left the room.
(If you find any other match for your daughter then tell me...)
Maryam glanced at the door and closed her eyes to flow out the tears gathering to blur her vision. "After all, he proved he is a stepfather. I'll search for a good match for my daughter without him." She muttered stopping herself to sob loudly.
<><><><><><><>
With a sour head and heavy eyes, she came out from the land of nod when listening to the voice of fajr azaan. "Aahh..." A weak whimper left her lips due to sleeping in the wrong posture.
After fresh n up she prayed fajr namaz and did the most important part... Dua (supplication).
"Allah paak please I can't tolerate anymore." She cried again but this time the prayer was short as she had to attend college. Though she wasn't in a condition to attend college but she had to!
After getting ready she stepped into the dining area where Maryam was arranging breakfast but her eyes were addressing a big lot of anger present on her nose, Anwar came out of the room, he was ready to go to work but unlike ever he didn't sit for breakfast. Both husband and wife glared at each other. "What's wrong with them?" Asked the confused Bilal and Shifa shrugged.
"Papa will you drop me or I..." Shifa was asking but her sentence was interrupted by Anwar. "Ask your mother if she has a problem with it or not?" Glaring at Maryam he replied with anger. Shifa looked at Bilal who was also confused.
"Mumma I'm going," Shifa muttered and surprisingly Maryam didn't stop her for breakfast.
"I'll call Musa to talk about Shifa and Shariq" Shifa turned back to Anwar talking about her only. With a loudly beating heart, she stepped out from the home and Anwar wait for Maryam's response but she decided to stay silent.
"Main Musa ko mana kar dunga, tumhe jo Karna hai wo Karo apni beti ke liye." Saying that in a rude tone he also left for office.
(I will refuse Musa for this match, do whatever you want to do for your daughter.)
"Mummy, what's wrong?" Bilal asked when he was left alone in the room but Maryam silently put a toast on his plate. "Do you and papa also hold arguments? I'm seeing this scene for the very first time." Picking the bottle of the jam he asked in his playful tone, according to him it wasn't anything serious.
"Have your breakfast silently." Bilal furrowed and rolled his eyes.
"It's all because of Shifa aapi and her stubbornness. Why does she have a problem with Shariq bhai? He is not bad." Bilal muttered but louder than needed which increased Maryam's anger.
"Bilal it's not funny at all. Don't utter nonsense if you can't feel the sincerity of the matter." The grown-up little boy was shocked by that unexpected lecture.
<><><><><>
Shifa wanted to sleep as her head was bursting due to pain, but it wasn't an option for her. After a tiring day of college and she had just arrived at the radio station when a voice grabbed her attention.
"Shifa report me about the progress of your plan." Shifa turned around to find David standing there.
"Sir I've been discussing that with Deni and it's almost done." She muttered and David sighed. "I need a result, not assurance." With a little bit of anger and a lot of frustration he stepped towards his room but stopped in between.
"Today you don't have to record the program just complete the layout and show me before going back." Shifa nodded and moved to another room to work on her own life story.
"That's it for today!!" With this announcement for herself, she close the diary with a thud and placed her head down on the desk. "Nothing good could happen in my life." She muttered when remembered about Afifa was who present in the college canteen. Both the best friends glared at each other and Shifa decides to take back steps.
Good friends are hard to find, easy to lose and impossible to forget.
With these thoughts, she closed her already burning eyes.
...........
On the other hand...
"Daniyal"
"Yeah, David?"
"Your favourite colleague is in that room so go and help her," David announced when Daniyal arrived at the radio station
"Come on yaar, at least you don't behave like ammi." Daniyal rolled his eyes while typing something in his mobile and David smirked.
"It means she is also thinking the same!"
"Shut up David." Ignoring David, Daniyal walked to the next room.
"Shifa." That call didn't disturb her as she was dozed off. Daniyal was pretty shocked. "Shifa" this time Daniyal uttered louder than before but she didn't wake up. He felt hesitant to touch her but finding no other way he slowly shakes her arm just to get another shock.
"Umm... Deni you?'' Shifa open her eyes with confusion and took two moments to come to her senses only then did she realise about her nap.
" Shifa... You have a high fever." Touching her forehead with the backside of the index finger Daniyal muttered. "I am sorry I didn't realise when did I sleep." She replied meekly.
"I'm sorry." Sitting in front of Shifa, Daniyal represents his apology. The pool of her eyes suddenly filled with the precious tears which sank Daniyal in the sea of guilt.
"Promise me you won't tell this to anyone." She stopped her tears to come out but her heart was crying out. "Trust me. I won't."
"I'm afraid. I don't trust anyone." She whispered but the very next moment her heart gave testimony to Deni's honesty when found a pool of emotions in his eyes.
"Shifa."
"Hmm?"
"You're so strong to hide all these things so perfectly. I never thought that you were hiding pains behind your smile."
"Can't do anything else! Sometimes I feel, life make us good actor and liar with every passing day." Shifa sighed while pressing her head.
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." She replied with a fake smile.
"True. Life has made you a liar." Looking at her condition he taunt and Shifa shrugged with a bittersweet smile.
"Lunch kra?" He asked and she shook her head. "Not even breakfast."
"Well done." Again a sarcasm, but he ordered lunch for both of them.
"Deni, why are you bothering?"
"I'm just ordering, but it's on you... Remember last time?" Without any intention Shifa's lips were engaged with a smile while remembering the lunch with Deni when he asked her to pay bills. Soon lunch was served and they both attacked on it like their lives depends on it. True! Their lives depend on it they were hungry since the morning.
"Don't you like biryani?" Shifa asked and Daniyal nodded.
"Then why don't you order it ever?"
"Should I order now?" He asked while lifting a morsel. "Nope, all good. I'll adjust with what's present." Shifa smiled and Daniyal's heart skipped a beat.
"Daniyal, just don't worry about me. I'll adjust with whatever I get"
Adeena's words rang in her ears and his brain flashed an image.
"What's the point of making adjustments when you can get everything?" Asked the lost Daniyal to Adeena in his imagination but he speak it louder than expected which gained Shifa's attention.
"We should learn how to adjust, it's true we humans want everything perfect but sometimes we have to adjust our priorities, our dreams and everything because of some obligations, expectations and helplessness." Shifa put a small piece of her heart in front of Deni making him remember about Adeena in more detail.
"Not only expectations and obligations, sometimes we make adjustments because of love. If you love someone you will adjust your happiness for her satisfaction without any second thought."
"It seems you've read many novels." Shifa chirped in weak voice
"Jinki zindagi kisi qisse se kam na ho wo kya kisi aur ki likhe huye afsaane padh kar is dil ko behlayenge?"
(One with a broken heart can't get entertainment from novels)
" what?" Shifa asked and Daniyal shook his head with a sad smile.
"Nothing, have your meal." He gestured towards the food but Shifa shook her head. "You loved someone?" She dared to ask and Daniyal narrowed his eyes for a while.
"What do you mean by LOVED?”
"Umm... I. I mean... You loved someone who has she left you or something like..." She left the sentence incomplete and Daniyal smiled.
"May I ask you something?" He asked and Shifa nods.
"Have you forgotten Faraz?" Shifa sighed and nod her head with a sad smile but Daniyal was surprised. "Really? But... How?"
"Just... Passing time..." She shrugged.
"Have you ever loved him?" This time he was serious and Shifa took a long minute to gather the answer.
"Nope." She replied with truthfulness. "I neither talk to him nor know him in person. I only know him as much as others told me about him. How's it's possible to love a person without knowing him?"
"That's why you've forgotten him, but in my case, I can't forget her, I still love her."
"That's painful." She whispered making him smile. "Leave it, I'm strong enough to handle it."
"I believe," she said with amazement. And both of them started a discussion on the story of Faraz and Shifa to be broadcast as recreation of Sheeri and Farhad
"Thanks for the lunch." Being over formal Shifa greeted him to get back a smile. "Thanks for the forgiveness"
'He is just perfect how could a girl leave him? How couldn't she fall for him?' Shifa asked herself and couldn't stop her tongue.
''Was that single-sided love? Or she betrayed you?"
"What? Betray? She can't betray anyone! She's the purest, most pious and most loyal person I ever met. And it wasn't single-sided love. We both loved each other equally." He was sharing about Adeena with someone for the first time. Shifa and Daniyal both were sharing their feelings without any fear. Maybe both are the same types.
In the time being Daniyal passed a pill to Shifa for fever which she gulped with water.
"Then what happened?" Shifa asked and Daniyal think for a moment before glancing at his wristwatch.
"Do you really wanna know the story of Daniyal Kazmi and Adeena Shaikh?"
==============
Soooo
Do you wanna know the story of Daniyal Kazmi and Adeena Shaikh?
😏😏😏
Stay tuned 😁
_Naaz Jamal