𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐑 𝐁𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐀𝐃, 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐀𝐒 𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐆𝐀𝐙𝐄𝐃 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐖. Her nerves were still shot from the excitement that occurred a few days ago, so she found it quite difficult to go on about her normal life.
She was waiting for something to happen again...for the Lees to return, only this time, prepared to finish what they had started. Nellie was startled when Thomas coughed, her body jerking in an almost violent manner.
Thomas hesitated, his eyes darting from to spooked woman beside him to the road and back. "Is everything alright?" Thomas asked softly, his hand returning to the wheel.
Nellie, embarrassed by her reaction, nodded in response. "Of course," she lied. "I'm fine. Just a bit jumpy." She gave Thomas a strained smile, unable to conjure up one that was even passable as a real.
Truth be told, it wasn't just the Lees attack that had the woman jittery. It was what she had discovered as she began the process of reconstructing her stables. After the break-in, Nellie promptly moved her safe to a safer location and sorted through the money.
What caught her attention, though, wasn't the bills in the box. It was the file hidden away at the back of the safe. In it was documentation of the growth of Allyn Stables. They were going to expand, Nellie discovered, and attempt to ally with the Birmingham Boys.
Aka, Billy Kimber's gang. According to the documents, the rivalry between the Peaky Blinders and the Birmingham Boys was an issue the heads of the Allyn and Shelby families wanted dealt with. So, Nellie's father proposed an idea: expand the stables and extend a work opportunity to the Birmingham Boys.
If Kimber and his men would work the racecourses for money, Nellie's father would give them a cut of his earnings. Earnings he won from his prized racehorses.
Only the alliance never became a real thing. The proposal was just that: a proposal. It was nothing more than Alfie Allyn's attempt to work something out to benefit all parties included. There was no evidence that he had even contacted Kimber and his men to discuss the logistics.
That's what worried Nellie. After seeing her racehorse in Kimber's stall at the races, she began to grow suspicious of the man. And those files...those files were damning.
She knew who killed her family and destroyed her business. Now she just had to figure out a way to handle it.
"What are you thinking about?" Thomas asked after a long moment of silence, his gravelly voice dragging Nellie out of her thoughts.
She turned and gazed at the side of his face, her lips pinched together in an attempt to keep the floodgates closed. Truth be told, she didn't want to tell Tommy. She didn't know what he would say and she was terrified that he already knew. She couldn't imagine why he would withhold such important information...nor why he would attempt an alliance with the very man who destroyed Nellie's family.
Nellie inhaled deeply and held her breath before letting it go. "I've got a lot on my mind," she said honestly. "Lots of issues with the reconstruction. Bloody contractors are idiots." Nellie turned away and resumed staring at the horizon.
Her foot began to tap rhythmically against the floor, the sound echoing through the car, though she promptly ceased her movement when Thomas gently laid his hand upon her knee. Nellie's breath hitched in her throat, her eyes slowly focusing on the way Thomas's hand rested upon her skirt.
It was such a minuscule gesture, yet it dredged up old desires the young woman had been fighting to keep at bay since the moment she returned to Birmingham. She licked her lips, her eyes locked on Thomas's hand as the movements from the car jostled it further up her leg.
Either that or Thomas was subtly trying to slide his hand up Nellie's thigh...
"And?" he finally asked with a cough, his hand finally sliding from Nellie's knee as he spoke. The move was odd and almost seemed deliberate. As if he wanted to keep his hand on her for as long as possible. Nellie licked her lips, a shiver creeping up her spine as she adjusted in her seat.
"And what?" It took her a moment to respond, but she finally got a hold of herself after a few seconds of tense silence.
Thomas side-eyed her, his brow raising. "There's something else eating away at you." Nellie frowned. "C'mon. Tell me."
Thomas's expression was soft and welcoming, a drastic change from his usually stoic demeanor. Ever since Nellie got back, he had been nothing but closed-off and unwelcoming to her. She almost found the sudden change suspicious...as if he was trying to goad her into giving him information.
Nellie narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. "What makes you think there's anything more?" she asked with a soft hmm, one brow quirking as she peered at her old lover.
Thomas smiled. It was rare to see such a thing from the man, but Nellie didn't complain. Her heart skipped a beat as she stared at his handsome face. God, how she missed those smiles. "I know there's something else," he said coyly. "I know you, Nell. I can tell when you're bothered."
Nellie didn't respond. She couldn't, not when he was smiling at her the way he was at that moment. Her stomach tingled, a slow smile spreading across her face. With a slight head tilt, Nellie found herself unable to stay on topic.
"You're smiling," she pointed out cheekily. "What a rare sight."
Thomas gave her a look, his brows coming together though his smile didn't fade. "Rare?" he asked, a small laugh escaping his throat.
"And a laugh?" she said with a giggle, her hand covering her mouth. "My, what a change." Thomas gave her a playful eye-roll, but Nellie could see that he was trying to wrangle his smile down. "What's gotten into you?"
Thomas looked over, his smile was smaller but still prevalent on his face. He said nothing as he stared at Nellie, but she could see the cause in his eyes. That look was far too familiar to Nellie for her to mistake what it was.
Her smile faltered and Thomas took notice. "Is it Grace?" she asked sincerely, trying to keep the playfulness in her tone.
Thomas immediately looked back at the road, his lips pursing in a straight line as he sighed. "Why does everyone keep asking that?" he asked softly after a moment of silence.
"You can't be serious?" Nellie laughed, but it appeared Thomas wasn't joking. He looked at her, his usual stoic expression replacing his beautiful smile. "Tommy, it's painfully obvious that you fancy her."
Thomas snapped his head over, his brows deeply furrowed as he stared at Nellie. "'Painfully obvious'?" he echoed.
Nellie nodded. Though it hurt her to say it, she wasn't going to lie to Thomas and let him think his feelings were hidden. "Everyone knows it. Hell, I was the first to pick up on it." Nellie bit her lower lip as she recrossed her legs and peered out of the window. "I've had to see it since the day I got back," she murmured almost to herself.
Thomas pressed on the brakes without warning, causing Nellie to jerk forward in her seat. The car squealed to a stop in the middle of the long, desolate road. She looked over at Thomas with furrowed brows. "What the hell are you doing, Tommy?"
Thomas had both hands on the steering wheel, his eyes focused on the road before them. A long silence stretched between the two of them, and Nellie could sense the growing tension. Thomas was upset...deeply upset.
"You've had to see it since the day you came back, eh?" he asked slowly, his hand running over his lower jaw as he leaned back in his seat. Nellie said nothing as she stared at Thomas, perplexed by his sudden change in mood. He finally looked at her, and the piercing pain in his blue eyes hit Nellie like a sack of bricks. "Then maybe you should never have left, Nellie."
Nellie's jaw dropped. She wasn't quite sure what to say to Thomas as he glared at her. She could pity him for what she did. She could even try to apologize, again. Or she could finally say what had been on her mind since the day she set foot back in that godforsaken city.
And the anger bubbling in her stomach told her exactly which emotion she was going to express.
Nellie narrowed her eyes at Thomas, her arms crossing over her chest. "Oh, so we're doing this now, are we?" she asked with a dry laugh. "Here, in the middle of a deserted road after weeks of you avoiding me and avoiding my attempts to reconcile with you."
Thomas quirked a brow. "Reconciliation? You think I want reconciliation, Nellie?"
Nellie cocked her head. "Then what the hell do you want, Thomas? Because I genuinely cannot fucking understand what it is you want me to do." Nellie threw her hands up in frustration, growing more and more irritated with Thomas and his whirlwind emotions.
It was either a cold shoulder or a deceptively warm smile from the gangster. He couldn't seem to make up his mind about how he felt about Nellie, and it was really beginning to grate on her nerves.
"Make up your mind," she snapped. "Do you hate me or love me?"
Thomas ground his jaw as he looked away. "Neither." His voice was low and the single word he uttered struck her in the gut like a bullet. "Or maybe both. I don't know." Thomas sighed deeply as he ran his hand across his face, his tongue poking his cheek as he shook his head. "I really don't know..."
Nellie bit back her anger. It had never benefitted her before and she knew it would be in her best interest not to provoke Thomas.
The two of them were notorious for their nasty fights. Stubbornness and short-tempers don't mix well.
"Then figure it out, Thomas. For my sake, your sake, and the sake of everyone else we know and love. I'm sick of this-this dance of avoidance we've been doing. I'm tired of pretending as if nothing happened between us...like I don't matter to you in the slightest."
Thomas looked at Nellie as her chin began to quiver again. "It is killing me, Tommy." Nellie's anger melted into grief as they stared into each other's eyes. "It kills me when you recoil from the slightest touch. It kills me when you brush me off but give that barmaid all of your attention."
Through her welling tears, Nellie spat out 'barmaid' like it was an insult. Her hands clenched into fists as she fought back her tears. She was not going to sob to Thomas about how much she missed him. She wasn't going to give him that satisfaction.
"If we're going to be in each other's lives, Thomas, we have to figure this out." Nellie gestured between the two of them as she sniffled. "We can't keep going this way. It's going to ruin us."
Thomas ground his jaw as he looked away, his eyes falling to the floor of the carriage. "You're right," he muttered. "But now's not the time."
Nellie closed her eyes, disappointment sinking in her chest as she looked away from Thomas. He started the car and they continued down the road as if nothing had happened.
Just like always.
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Nellie stood in the middle of her grand foyer, her bottom lip pulled between her teeth. It was a risk investing so much money into the rebuilding of her stables, but she was pleased with the progress so far. It would have made her father proud to see such a grand building with the Allyn family name stamped across the front.
Nellie smiled, allowing herself to be pleased with the progress. All that was left of the rebuild was the finishing touches on the stables. And with the aid of the Shelby family, Nellie was able to secure a rather hefty discount on the bill. It didn't please her to threaten innocent people, but at the same time...she didn't care that much.
She wasn't a very morally righteous person and she wasn't going to pretend she was.
With a satisfied sigh, Nellie opened her arms and spun in a gleeful circle. Her skirts fanned around her body as she let out a delighted laugh. I did it... she thought to herself. I did it, Daddy.
When Nellie came to a stop, her eyes landed on the figure lurking in her doorway. She stumbled back with a yelp of surprise, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment as she stared at Thomas. She must have looked like a child to him.
But when he stepped into the light, there was a smile on his face. "Excited?" he asked with a playful tone, his eyes glittering in the light as he approached Nellie.
Nellie tried to hide her embarrassment as Thomas approached. She stepped away and busied herself with straightening an already straight painting on the wall. "You could say that..." she said softly. Thomas stepped next to her and peered at the painting on the wall. "I told you I'd do it."
Thomas looked over at her with a fond smile. He wasn't irritated with her dig, so Nellie decided she was going to be civil. Well, for as long as he is, she reminded herself, remembering their conversation in the car on the way to the stables that morning.
Thomas had gotten into the habit of starting an encounter with Nellie whilst acting as if everything was okay, and then ending that very same encounter by being rude and petty. She hoped he would remain civil with her... She was truly tired of fighting with him at every turn.
"It's lovely," he said with a nod to the painting before them. Nellie focused her attention on the painting, a sad smile coming to her face.
"Mother made it," she said softly, her head tilting as she looked at the abstract piece of work. "Right before she died she had a bout of inspiration. This is just one of the many she made."
Thomas looked at Nellie, who kept her eyes on the painting. "I didn't know your mother painted." Nellie sighed as she wrapped her arms around her torso.
"Not many people did." Nellie turned to Thomas with a woeful look in her eyes. "It's how she met my father."
Thomas nodded. "I was under the impression that your mother resented Alfie," he said with a raised brow.
Nellie laughed. While it was somewhat true that Gretchen Allyn resented her husband for his criminal profession, that didn't mean she hated him. "My mother was a complicated woman," Nellie said softly. "She hated my father for he did, not for who he was. At the end of the night, she loved him very much. It was that love that killed her."
Nellie looked away from Thomas. The heartbreak of her father's death destroyed her mother. Not many people believe that heartbreak can kill a person, but Nellie saw it firsthand. Her mother withered away in the months after Alfie's death. "I always envied their love," she said after a moment.
Thomas shifted. "You want to love someone so fiercely it could kill you?" he questioned, his head cocking as he stared down at Nellie.
It was an odd question and it was certainly one that got Nellie thinking. She wouldn't say that her love for Thomas was the same kind of love her mother had for her father, but it was certainly love so strong it caused her immense amounts of pain. There wasn't a moment in Nellie's day where she didn't feel the ache of having lost the one person she thought she'd have forever.
And if she were being honest, yes. She did want love so strong it could kill her. That was the only way she could be sure that it was real.
Nellie turned to Thomas with a sharp exhale. "Don't you?" she asked softly, her eyes locked on his. She could see the conflicted look in his eyes and knew she wasn't going to get an answer. At least not that night. "I'm sure you didn't come back here to debate about the nature of love," she said after a moment of long, painful silence. "What do you need?"
Nellie turned and walked away from the painting, leading Thomas into her newly furnished office. He hesitated before following her, but he finally cleared his throat and stepped into the office. "We need your help."
Nellie raised a brow as she turned around and leaned against the edge of her desk. "My help? For what?"
Thomas wrung his peaked cap tightly. "I'm securing an alliance with the Lee brothers."
Nellie's eyes widened in shock. "What?"
Thomas raised his hand to stop Nellie from going on. "Hold on," he said before she could continue. "At least hear me out." Nellie narrowed her eyes but remained quiet to allow Thomas to explain. He explained that he would need the Lees to help him in his conquest against Billy Kimber, but didn't offer any further explanation.
Nellie sucked on her teeth as she crossed her arms over her chest. "They almost killed Finn," she said after a moment. "Does that not matter to you?"
Thomas sighed. "Of course, it matters," he said softly. "But we can't let our emotions cloud the bigger picture."
Nellie scoffed. "And what exactly is this 'bigger picture', eh?"
Thomas grinned a slow grin. The look in his eyes and on his face almost unnerved Nellie as he stepped closer to her. Uncomfortably closer. "Us," he said in a soft whisper. "The Shelbys and Allyns at the top with a legal, legitimate business."
Nellie narrowed her eyes and furrowed her brows. "'Us'," she echoed quietly. "I don't recall being a part of your mission to legitimize your family business, Thomas."
Thomas straightened up, his grin fading to a soft smile. "You could be," he said after a moment. "Your family is part of the reason why we're even where we are today, Nell. It would be wrong of me to exclude you from the profits when you helped build the business."
Nellie slowly lowered her arms as she stared into Thomas's eyes. Something about the look in his eyes was off...like he had come to a conclusion about their earlier conversation. It scared Nellie to think of what had gone through his mind to garner such a dramatic change in his attitude towards her...
"Okay..." she said slowly, "what do you need me for?"
Thomas stepped back with a prideful look on his face, gesturing at Nellie with his bladed cap. "We've got a marriage to secure."
Nellie's heart thumped furiously in her chest as her eyes widened to the size of a golf ball. "We've got a fuckin' what?"
Thomas simply grinned, offering no explanation as he grabbed Nellie by the elbow and lead her out of the office. A million possibilities ran through Nellie's mind as she climbed into his car, leaving her reconstruction behind as they made their way back home.
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