I am cool, calm, and utterly collected as I step up to my ex-classmates' booth.
"Sorry for the wait." I turn to Dan with a bright smile. "What can I get for you guys tonight?"
"Fish and chips..." he says gruffly. "The cod. With a Coke." His eyes look bloodshot, and he crosses his arms over his chest and leans back, looking bored. There's a faint hint of weed emanating from the booth.
"We have Pepsi. Is that okay?"
He shrugs. "Sure."
I turn my smile on Shannon and make it as genuine as I can.
She's staring at me with a little smirk on her stupid perfect face, and there's a nasty glint in her brown eyes.
My stomach turns, but my smile doesn't fade. "And for you?"
"Oh, I'll have what Dan's having... uh... Erica." Her smirk deepens, and her eyes look positively wicked. "Erica is your name, right?"
My smile is starting to hurt my cheeks. "Lyric, actually."
"Sorry, what did you say, Erica?" She leans toward me, cupping her hand over her ear. "It's so loud in here."
Wow. She damn well knows my name! We were in school together since kindergarten. Kindergarten! There were less than a hundred kids in our whole grade. I'm not taking her bait again.
I clear my throat. "You'd like a Pepsi, as well, with your fish and chips?"
She wrinkles her nose. "Um... didn't I just say that I'll have what he's having?"
I nod my head, still smiling, and write it down.
"Erica... Oh!" Shannon sits up straight. "I knew I recognized you from somewhere. You went to our school, right?"
My whole body goes cold, and against my will, my smile fades. She's doing this then.
"I did." I try to turn my attention to Jason and Amanda, but she doesn't let up.
"Funny." Shannon lets out a feminine giggle. "I didn't even notice you'd left. Did you guys notice?"
Dan looks like he's just stoned and ignoring her. Amanda shrugs, and Jason is studying the menu, chewing on his full lower lip.
My muscles are tense, and I'm dying to run away, but I force myself to stay put. I will get through this. I will.
I resolutely turn toward Amanda and Jason on the other side of the booth.
"What can I get for you guys?"
"Just fries, please." Amanda pauses, then looks up at me with her giant deep blue eyes and way-too-long lashes. "And... a chocolate milkshake. You have those, right?"
"Yes, we do." My smile's back.
I'm not gonna give Shannon the satisfaction of getting to me. She needs to grow the hell up. We're not in high school anymore.
Jason looks up from the menu, and my cheeks flush.
Good Lord, he's hot.
Don't let them see you feel anything!
I try to smooth the expression on my face. I must look professional—friendly, but detached. Not like my heart's in my throat and my pulse is racing a million miles a minute. Shannon's a shark, and she only needs to smell one drop of blood to strike.
"And for you?" I ask Jason.
"I guess fish and chips. With an iced tea." He never makes eye contact.
Whew. I quickly write his order down.
"Will that be everything?"
"You guys," Shannon says, "we should order some kind of awesome dessert. To celebrate, don't you think?" She turns to me. "This is our last night at home before we leave for college tomorrow. So sad. But bittersweet, ya know? I'm sure you understand, Erica. Where'd you get in?"
"Um... excuse me?" I'm holding my pen so tightly, I'm afraid it'll snap.
"College... what college are you going to? We're all headed for OSU."
"Congratulations." I keep my voice light. "We have some great desserts. Banana cream pie, apple pie, vanilla or chocolate ice cream... Those are the most popular. Would you guys like one of those?"
"Apple pie is my fave... You guys want a slice too?"
The three of them nod, not looking particularly excited about the prospect but going along.
"Will there be anything else?" I ask, desperate to escape.
"Don't think so." Shannon shrugs. "But will we be seeing you again? Maybe at OSU? You didn't answer my question."
I lock eyes with her, my stomach hollow. There's a challenge in her gaze, and I can see she's not gonna drop this. Forcing this fake friendliness is making me want to puke.
"So... will we see you at OSU?" She asks again, drawing each word out slowly.
I quickly shake my head. "Let me grab those drinks."
I turn, and she grabs my arm, stopping me. I casually step away from her, forcing her to let me go.
"Wait!" Shannon says loudly. "Ohhhh no. I'm so sorry. Now... now I finally remember. Your mom..." Her voice drops in volume. "She died, didn't she?" She's saying it like she's scandalized by the memory. "Oh, God. You dropped out of high school junior year, didn't you?"
Her brown eyes have gone big and round, like she gives a damn about me.
My heart's racing, and I swear I can hear every beat pounding in my ears. My smile has faded, and I can't bring it back. She's mocking me because my mom freakin' died! I've never punched anyone before, but I'm thinking she deserves to be my first.
But I can't even be rude. She'd be the one to call my boss and complain tomorrow. I'll lose everything, while she prances off to OSU free and happy. She'd love to destroy my life, just for fun. That's who she is.
"You dropped out junior year?" she repeats, her eyes big and round with mock pity.
"Yes. I did." I barely hear my own words.
"Oh, what a shame." She gives me a smirk. "Isn't that such a shame, you guys?" She glances around at her friends for effect.
I keep my eyes glued to her, not wanting to see the pity, or worse, complete boredom and disinterest, on Jason's face.
"Yep." I gotta get the hell outta here. "I'll be right back with your—"
"You know what?" Her voice brightens, and she gives me a huge, fake smile. "It's okay. Totally fine. You don't need college. It's not for everyone. You look like you belong here, anyway. I bet you're just an awesome waitress. There's nothing wrong with staying here forever. Get married, have some kids..." She shoots an amused look at Amanda. "Maybe your kids can work here too."
My pen cracks in my hand.
Shannon's fake smile vanishes, and now she's just having fun at my expense. "Of course..." She drags out the words, exchanging another glance with Amanda. "You gotta be really careful working in a place like this. What with the... you know... alcohol problems that run in your family."
My stomach lurches so hard, I feel like I could throw up right then and there.
I want to rip out her hair.
I wanna gouge out her eyes.
My hatred is naked on my face, and I know it, but I can't wipe it away.
Amanda lets out a little noise, like she's choking back a response. Or a laugh. I can't help but look at her. She's got her hand over her mouth.
Jason and Dan are looking at their phones.
"Sure, well, I'll have your drinks right out." I whirl and have to force myself to walk away with some dignity. Not that I have any left after that.
My stomach hurts so bad, and my throat is so tight I can hardly breathe as I hand Mateo their orders. I fantasize for a moment about spitting in Shannon's food. But that's just not me, unfortunately.
"You okay?" Mateo sees me standing there not moving and lifts a brow. "You're doing great tonight, okay? Really good. We got this."
I lick my lips and nod. "Thanks. Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."
I blow out a breath, replace my broken pen with a new one, and start making my ex-classmates' drinks.
Did I really look that upset? Ugh. I am not upset. Shannon's awful, but she can't get to me. I won't let her. She's just a dumb, immature girl who's always had everything handed to her. I don't know what happened to her to make her so cruel. I should be happy I'm not her.
Happy I dropped out of school.
Happy I'm stuck here waitressing.
Shannon's right, and I'll probably spend my whole life here.
I'm never getting out of Port Ashford.
I load their drinks on a tray and head to their table. Amanda and Shannon are talking animatedly, and Shannon lets out a loud laugh. They all completely ignore me as I set their drinks down and hurry away.
They're getting out of here tomorrow, going to college... something I will never do, not now. Not ever.
At least I won't have to see them for a while.
"More beer!" Angry Al is calling to me. "Can't I get any damn service?"
All his friends chime in, demanding more beers too.
I give Al the side-eye as I get them all another round, trying to gauge how he's doing. He's ranting to Rude Ralph about his ex-wife, talking about how she screwed him over.
According to Angry Al, everyone's always screwing him over. He's quiet when sober, but I can usually tell how drunk he is by how much he's blaming everyone else for his problems. That "low" vibe he's got going is swirling around him like a storm, and he's already gotten to the point where he's accusing his ex-wife of sleeping with the whole town. So, yeah, he's pretty wasted.
If I owned this place, I'd cut him off right now. But I can't. If I stop serving him, he'll decide I'm screwing him over, and the last thing I need is him raging about me to my boss tomorrow.
So I wait as long as I can before giving him his next beer.
Mateo thankfully gets my ex-classmates' food out fast, and I approach their table with dread. But Shannon has apparently decided to pretend I'm invisible, and no one says a word to me.
I get out of there fast, then continue to go through the motions. At least my medication is working, and I can get stuff done now. I manage to avoid an increasingly drunk Boob-lovin' Bob, serve more food, take more orders, and clean my empty tables.
And I try extra, extra hard to avoid looking at Jason.
A half-hour later, the restaurant finally begins to empty out, and no one new has walked through the door in a long time. I can't wait for this night to be over.
My ex-classmates are about done with their food, so I deliver the apple pie slices and their check.
"Thanks, Erica!" Shannon says brightly.
"Have a great night." I hightail it outta there to go scrub down another empty booth.
It's so hard not to look back at Jason, but he doesn't care that I exist. I probably won't see him again. Not for a long time. Maybe not ever, if he escapes Port Ashford and moves somewhere else.
Escape.
What is wrong with me right now? I need to freakin' survive and keep this job, not worry about what anyone else is doing with their lives.
Something crashes near the counter.
I drop my rag on the table and whirl around.
"You slept with her!" It's Angry Al, on his feet and screaming.
Boob-Lovin' Bob jumps up, knocking his bar stool over with a clatter. "I didn't, I swear!"
Uh-oh.