Ross!
A loud yell in my head wake me up. Sigaw ng isang taong hindi ko kilala, malakas at puno ng takot. Ross, what does it mean?
The white ceiling where my eyes first darted at looks pale to me. Masakit ang ulo ko, na parang may mabigat na nakapatong doon.
I looked around to find where I am, who I am, and what I am doing there. Beside me is the monitor. I have all this equipment and tubes on my body and I can't even move my fingers.
Dalawang lalaki ang nakatayo sa harapan ng pintuan. My eyes are half closed. I can see them with blurry vision, but I can hear them clearly.
"He will wake up soon. I want you to get ready, he had a severe injury on his head. He may or may not remember you or even himself. Amnesia can occur, especially since his head was affected."
It was the doctor. He is facing someone but I can only see his back. Nakasuot ito ng itim na suit at ang kakulay noong pantalon.
"How long will it last? Will it be permanent?" The man in a suit asked the doctor.
"Not really. Permanent retrograde amnesia rarely to occur unless the brain is severely damaged. However, it varies from person to person and we can't give you an exact duration of how long he might not remember anything from his past. It can be just months but it can also reach years, or worst, permanent. But in his case, I believe he'll recover from it quickly," mahabang sagot ng doktor.
Tumango ang lalaki sa kaniya. They talked a lot about someone. I didn't thought it was me until the man went inside. He sat beside me. Sinuri niya ang mukha ko. Gising ako ngunit sarado ang mata kaya inakala nitong tulog ako.
I opened my eyes to see him well. Kumunot ang noo ko sa kirot na naramdaman nang subukan kong kilalanin ang tao.
"Who are you?"
Ngumiti siya sa akin at hinipo ang noo ko. Umiwas ako nang bahagya upang iparating sa kaniyang hindi ko 'yon nagustuhan.
"I'm your Dad, Ross," sagot niya.
"Who's Ross?"
He smiled again but I didn't like it either. It didn't look genuine to me.
"Ikaw si Ross. You got into an accident that's why you can't remember anything. I'll get the doctor for you, wait a minute."
I watched him leave the room. Confused by what he said, my eyes wandered around the room. If he's my Dad, do I at least have a Mom to confirm it?
Ako si Ross? Ibig ba sabihin, the yell earlier was for me? May kasama ba ako sa aksidente? Sino ang sumigaw?
The doctor came to check me. Wala akong naramdaman kung hindi pagkirot ng ulo. Lumipas ang mga araw, pangalan ko lang ang alam ko.
The next thing I knew, I'm in America.
Para akong nag-aaral, inaalam ko ang mga bagay tungkol sa akin na hindi ko maalala. It's like a subject I need to pass for me to know who I am.
My father told me everything I need to know about myself. Although it feels like I know myself, the feeling of being lost still lingers inside me.
"This is your room. I asked our maid to organize it but if you wish to reorganize or change something, let me know." He left after patting my shoulder with a wide smile plastered on his lips.
He's a bit weird. Hindi ko pa rin nakukumbinsi ang sarili kong Tatay ko siya at anak niya ako. And what's my name again? Ross? It sounds rude and dorky.
Pinasadahan ko ng tingin ang kabuuan ng kuwarto. Grey, black, and white makes the room look dim. Hindi naman sa ayaw ko ang mga kulay, it just feels like it's not this dark before. But how did I know? I don't remember anything.
Mayroong isang malaking globo sa tabi ng study area. It lightened when I touched it. Umiikot din 'yon. Sa tabi ng globe ay ang isang piguring eroplano. I took it with me as I looked around.
Sa corkboard ay may litrato ng iba't-ibang lugar. Iyon na naman ang pakiramdam. Na parang alam ko 'yon at napuntahan ko na 'yon kaya narito. Maybe I've really been in those places, I just can't remember.
Sa itaas ng headboard ng kama ay ang isang malaking mapa. Iyon ang pumupuno sa dingding. Sa ilang minuto kong pag-iikot, isa lang ang hinuha ko. I'm in the field of tourism or maybe aviation?
I confirmed it when I saw my ID on the desk. It has my name on it and the course I'm taking at the university here.
Jeremiah Ross Cervantes
Bachelor of Aviation
Purdue School of Aviation and Technology
Inilapag ko ang ID sa lamesa nang maagaw ng asul na notebook ang paningin ko. My forehead knotted before reaching it.
I snorted when I saw the date on the first page. Don't tell me, I wrote this? Who the hell write on diaries?
Interesado sa notebook ay umupo ako sa dulo ng kama. I opened it and read the first page. There's a date, and it tells what happened in a day just like how short stories are written. May kasama ang nagsulat pero hindi niya binanggit ang pangalan. Na para bang hindi niya na 'yon kailangan dahil iisang tao lang naman ang tinutukoy sa bawat pahina.
There's a lot. Malapit na iyong mapuno ngunit hindi naitagpos sa dulo. Kung sa akin nga ito at ako ang nagsulat, sino ang babaeng tinutukoy ko? Do I have someone I love? A girlfriend perhaps?
Itinabi ko ang notebook sa ilalim ng unan para mabasa mamaya ang iba pa. Bumukas ang pintuan ko. My father called me to join him in the dining area.
Kaming dalawa lang. Gusto kong itanong kung nasaan ang asawa niya but if he's not bringing her up, it only mean one thing. It's either she's dead or they're not together. I didn't ask, I can't handle the possible answer right now.
"Do I have a girlfriend?" I asked. Hindi ko alam kung paano siyang tatawagin.
Natigilan siya sa pagkain. He intertwined his hands and looked at me. "Why are you asking?"
"I don't know. Pakiramdam ko meron."
He nodded his head while chewing, I thought he said yes. "You had one.'
"Had," I uttered.
"You just broke up with her, she cheated on you with another man after two years of your relationship. She chose money over you. And that's why you're here in America. To finish your degree and become a pilot, so you can show her what she lost."
Hindi ko alam kung ikatutuwa ko ba 'yon. I got cheated? I smirked. Why does it seems like he's lying to me? Pero kung hindi ako maniniwala sa kaniya, kanino naman ako magtatanong?
"Don't worry about that. There's still a lot of woman out there who's richer and better for you." Tinapik niya ang likod ko.
For the first year of my life in states, I never truly recovered. There are no to few memories from the past I could remember. May nakikita nga akong mga tao sa panaginip ko but they have no faces, walang pangalan na binabanggit.
My father decides for me all the time. Since I believed he knew me more than anyone else, I let him.
Pero may mga gabing dadalawin ako ng mga tao sa nakaraan ko at ipapaalala nila kung sino ako. Mahigpit akong niyayakap ng mga alaala na kahit hindi ko sila kita ay ramdam ko.
My heart feels like it belongs somewhere else and I don't know where but it's definitely not here.
It was a rainy day and the sky was dark. Nasa isang kotse ako at may kasamang babae, siya ang nagmamaneho. I was crying while begging her to stop the car, but she didn't. Until I heard a loud crash. I heard my yell.
"Moren!" Hinihingal akong napabangon mula sa pagkakahiga.
I saw the accident. I just saw how it happened. May kasama ako nang mangyari ang aksidente. Ang nakapagtataka ay kung bakit wala siya? At kung bakit hindi ito sa akin sinabi ng ama ko?
Tumayo ako para uminom ng tubig. Naghilamos ako para mahimasmasan. I looked at the mirror and tried to remember her face. I saw it well. Everything was blurry but I saw her eyes very well.
"Moren, that's her name."
Hinanap kong muli ang notebook na itinabi ko. Just to get a little detail about her. Binasa ko lahat ng nakasulat doon. I concluded I knew her for a very long time by how the year passed but she was all I'm writing about.
Ibabalik ko na ang notebook nang may mahulog doon, isang maliit na litrato. We are five in there. May tatlong lalaki akong kasama at ang nag-iisang babae ay walang iba kung hindi ang babae sa panaginip ko.
Hirap akong makaalala ng mga bagong impormasyon at kahit ang mga bagay na kahapon lang ay alam ko, minsan ay nalilimutan ko kaagad. I had another notebook. Kapag may maaala ako sa kapiraso ng nakaraan ko ay isinusulat ko 'yon. O kaya naman ay kapag may bagong karanasan na gusto kong maalala.
Days after day, month after months, I remember them all. It took me two years to recover, to know who I am, and to wake up from the trap my father put me in just to fucking manipulate my life.
Hindi ko pa rin tuluyang naaalala ang buong pangyayari sa aksidente but I remember who I was, the people from my past, ang buhay ko sa Pilipinas bago ako mapunta ng Amerika, at ang babaeng laman ng bawat pahina ng araw ko.
Si Moren.
Umuwi ako ng Pilipinas pasikreto para balikan siya kahit hindi ko alam kung saan magsisimula. I used the few details I know to find her. I went back to the old neighborhood where I grew up. All the memories flooded my head but she was not there.
None of our friends know where she is. And remembering what she told me last time shows how serious she was that she want me gone out of her life. Bumalik ako ng Amerika. Walang alam si Dad na umuwi ako sa Pilipinas.
I finished the remaining two years in college, trained, and became a pilot.
I knew what my father was up to. Kung inakala kong kilala ko na siya, nagkamali ako. Parehas lang sila ni Mom. They treat me like an object. My father wanted me to marry the daughter of his business partner.
I agreed without plans of marrying that woman.
"In less than a year, we'll have a victorious event together," the man said.
Sumang-ayon si Dad. "They'll be a great couple someday. I heard Bianca is interested in Business. When the time comes and we have the heir from this two, he will take over."
Makasarili. Suminghal ako sa isip. Hindi pa man isinisilang ang anak ko, ang pangit na ng kapalarang naghihintay sa kaniya. I would rather not have kids.
"You'll be taking my daughter's hand very soon. I'll entrust my child to you so do what you want while you're still unmarried. I'm telling you, you'll regret it if you don't." It was a joke from the girl's father. Tumawa siya kaya napilitan si Dad na sumabay.
Minsan ay tumitingin sa akin ang babae, blangko ang mukha nito. Hindi lang naman pala ako ang biktima. I can say she's not into me as well.
"I want to go to the Philippines," I said out of nowhere. Huminto sa pagtawa ang dalawang lalaki at tumingin sa akin.
"What did you say?" si Dad.
"There's this one island I want to visit before getting married," ani ko. Iyon ang islang pinagtatrabahuhan ni Moren.
Malaki ang pagpapasalamat ko kay Ace. He really used all his connections to find Moren. Siya ang naging head engineer ng resort doon for the renovation. And he saw Moren in there without Moren knowing.
Malaki rin ang pagkainggit ko sa kaniya because I badly wanna see her. I want to ask if she wanted that accident to happen—No. I just want to know if she still loves me. The rest, I can forget it.
"You can't," tutol ni Dad. I already know he'll not allow me to go. "Ilang buwan na lang, ikakasal ka na, Ross. You can go to the Philippines after your marriage if you really want to see the island."
I grinned secretly, sinusubukan niya na naman akong ihulog sa pain. "I want to stay here for good after the wedding. It's just there's this one island I want to visit before settling here."
"And how long will you stay there?" Tumaas ang boses niya.
"Eight days? Eight days are enough." I'll take Moren back.
"No, just go there after the wedding with Bianca." Tensiyonado si Dad. Humalakhak ang baniyagang lalaki.
"Josh, let your son do what he wants for the last time. Being a husband is not an easy thing, he would be a busy man after the wedding," aniya.
Tumingin ako kay Dad, hinihintay siyang sumang-ayon sa lalaki. "Bakit ba ayaw mo akong pauwiin ng Pilipinas, Dad?" I dared to ask.
Lumunok siya, namamawis sa tanong ko. "Fine, eight days . . . eight days in the Philippines and you'll be back here."
Who's coming back? Jokes on you, Joshua.
Inayos ko ang mga papeles. I took all my important things with me. Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang pagkasabik na makabalik sa lugar kung saan ako nanggaling at lumaki. Above all, I can't wait to see her and continue the love we failed to succeed before.
"Ladies and Gentlemen we have just landed at Ninoy Aquino International Airport, Cebu Pacific Air welcomes you to Manila. On behalf of your flight crew headed by Captain Jimenez with First officer Chavez and the rest of the team, we thank you for choosing Cebu Pacific your airline of choice."
Ilang linggo kong inayos ang mga kailangan bago umuwi ng Pilipinas. Sinalubong ako ng mga kaibigan. Na kahit ata isang dekada ang lumipas ay mga walang pinagbago. It's just we've entered the reality of adulthood, pare pareho na kaming may trabaho.
"How's your head?" tanong ni Franz.
"Paminsan-minsan na lang sumasakit."
"Sabi ko sa 'yo, huwag mong isipin si Adrien. Sasakit talaga ang ulo mo kapag nag-isip ka ng pangit," si Ace.
"It's not Adrien I'm thinking."
His face is distorted. "Sino pala?"
"Guess who." Ngumisi ako. Iniwan ko ang trolley at naunang maglakad para siya ang humitak no'n. Mabilis na humahabol ang lalaki sa amin.
"Hoy! Ang kapal ng mukha mo, hindi ako nagpakahirap maging Engineer para lang paghitakin mo ng maleta," aniya.
Wala rin naman siyang nagawa kung hindi hitakin 'yon. He has a kind heart, siya ang pinakagagong may busilak na puso. Nauna ko pang maalaa ang kalokohan niya bago ang pangalan niya. And I knew exactly his face. The face that won't do anything bad.
Nakituloy ako kila Ace sa El Dorado. While preparing for my flight to Mindanao, I stayed at their house.
It didn't took long, hindi na rin ako makapaghintay makapunta sa isla.
And yet when I saw her, hindi ko alam kung ano ang una kong gagawin.
Her hat dropped on the sand, sa harapan ko mismo. Kung hindi ko kinumbinsi ang sariling gumalaw ay natulala na ako sa kaniya.
I took the hat and removed my shades so she can see me well. Inakala kong tatakbo siya sa akin para yakapin ako because she misses me too or maybe she's worried about me. But she did nothing.
I neared her, hoping that she was just surprised to see me and she doesn't know how to react.
I stopped in front of her, handing the white hat.
"Freda," I uttered.
Pero malayo sa inaasahan kong reaksiyon niya ang nakuha ko. She acted like she didn't know me so I had to pretend that I don't know her too.
"Would you mind getting your hat from me? You're standing in my way." I looked at her name tag as if I read it.
"A-Ah, sorry, S-Sir." Kinuha niya ang balanggot sa akin at gumilid. Hindi niya ako hinabol para tanungin o para sabihing may koneksiyon kami.
But I was happy to see her doing okay kahit wala ako. Funny of me to think she'll suffer when I'm gone, she's always been independent and can live on her own.
At the same time, it hurts me to think that she's not planning to tell me a single thing. Not even try.
Binigyan ko pa rin siya ng panahon. Na baka kapag sinabi ko sa kaniya ang mga pinagdaanan ko at nakita niya kung paano ako mahirapan ay sasabihin niya ang totoo.
"Breakfast for Mr. Cervantes." Kumatok siya sa pintuan ko.
"Come in."
"Ito na po ang inorder niyong breakfast, Sir. Dahil hindi niyo malakad ang sobrang lapit na resto, tumawid pa po ako ng dalawang ilog, makarating lang dito." Ibinaba niya ang mga pagkain sa lamesa.
"May sinasabi ka?" I asked because she sounds sarcastic.
"Wala po, Sir. Enjoy your food." She faked a smile.
"Wait, the empanadas are not here. I ordered two empanadas." I smiled. She will give up soon.
"I'll get you two empanadas, Sir. Please, wait for a while." Humaba ata ang pasensiya niya? Doon niya ba idinugtong ang haba ng buhok niya?
"You're empanadas are here, Sir."
"I forgot to order drinks. Can you get me one buko juice and one . . . uhm . . . what do you have here?"
Nagsisimula na siyang mapikon. "We have apple juice, orange juice, mango juice . . . lahat ng prutas na makikita mo sa fruit salad, Sir," pikon niyang sabi.
Tumango ako at sandaling nag-isip. "Sige, buko juice na lang."
It was just one of those days I tried to tease her. I was happy to see her smile, laugh, and get annoyed. Pero lumipas ang ilang araw, ganoon pa rin. Nagpapanggap pa rin siyang hindi niya ako kilala.
"Bakit gusto mo pang maalala ang nakaraan? If you're already fine with what you have right now, why would you suffer so much, trying to retrieve those memories?"
I couldn't believe she asked me that. Gusto niya na ba talagang mawala sa buhay ko? That bad?
"When half of me was gone, how would I continue to live?" I said to make her feel guilty. "I don't even know myself. Who I was and who is she."
"Who?" segunda niya.
You, Moren. Sino pa ba?
"Moren," I said with a smile. I never saw her that nervous and guilty.
I thought that ends there, na baka maawa siya sa akin at sabihin niya ang totoo but she was dedicated to leave my life.
"You're leaving?"
"Kanino mo naman nabalitaan 'yan?" Nagsalubong ang mga kilay niya.
"Tinanong kita sa mga kaibigan mo kanina. They said you talked to the head staff about leaving."
She looks disappointed, mukhang hindi siya napagbigyan sa gusto niyang mangyari.
"Why would you want to leave when I'm still here? Hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon ay may guwapo kang guest." Dinaan ko sa biro ang kirot ng dibdib.
Bumuntong hininga ako. "About the neighboring island we talked about before. I want to see it," I said. Ilang araw na lang ang natitira sa 'kin dito. I want to hear her side just before I go. Alam kong hindi niya lang ako basta ipinagpalit sa pera. Kilala ko siya. Almost my whole life, she was there.
Moren isn't selfish. She's the most selfless person I know.
Pero wala, eh. She kept on hiding from me. She kept on pushing me to forget her.
Inagaw niya sa akin ang notebook.
"Give it back. I'm not done yet."
"Masama raw ang nagsusulat sa dilim." That's a good excuse though. Kung hindi ako nakaaalala ay baka pinaniwalaan ko siya.
"Ross!" She yelled my name. I thought I succeeded this time but.
"Nagkamali ka ng dinig. Ang sabi ko, boss. Eh, hindi ko nga alam ang buong pangalan mo. Ang alam ko lang, Cervantes ang apelyido mo. And your name is Miah." She laughed nervously.
"Limang taon na," ani ko.
"Pinagkakaitan pa rin ako ng mundo." Pinagkakaitan mo pa rin akong mahalin ka, Moren.
"You're selfish, you're so unfair," I lied in unbearable pain.
"Do you even know how much I am suffering?"
She kept running away, I kept on chasing her. It's always like that.
"Moren," I called her certainly. "Alfredalae Moren Zamora, do you think I will forget you?"
I threw my notebook to let her see I'm done sketching her face. She cried. She will deny it if I pointed it out.
"Ayaw mo na talaga 'ko sa buhay mo, 'noh? You want me gone so bad." Nilunok ko ang mga luha.
"Naalala mo 'ko?" mahina niyang tanong.
"Sabihin mo sa akin, paano ko makakalimutan ang taong kasama ko sa bawat pahina ng buhay ko?"
"If there was you in every page of my notes, and there were us in between hello and goodbye, how do you expect me to move on?"
"You're stubborn. Ang kulit mo pa rin. Forget me, Ross! Bakit kailangan mo pang bumalik para paglaruan ako-"
"I wanted to forget you!" I cut her off. "I wanted to forget you so fucking bad, this feeling and the urge to beg you to take me back after how many times you refused to be with me.
"I acted like I forgot you. To see if you'll make me remember who I am, who you are and what we were. Pero ang sakit mong mahalin. Araw-araw kong nakikita na kaya mo kahit wala ako. Bagay na hindi ko magawa kasi wala ka."
"Do you want to know what my father told me about you?" I asked. "Nothing. He told me nothing about your existence. He took advantage of me so he can make me his puppet. He made me believe that I was a different person. But then I remember everything."
"Kayang lumimot ng isip, pero ang puso hindi." I smiled at her. "It's just painful to realize that I'm willing to give up my dreams for you and you're willing to lose me for your dreams."
But it's fine. Everything is fine. Handa akong ibaon sa limot lahat ng nangyari noon para mahalin siya ngayon. I'm ready forgive without an apology, I'm ready to lose more just to have her.
Still, it wasn't enough.
"I have no right to have you. Kung ikaw hindi mo nakikita, ako kitang-kita ko. So just leave without saying goodbye, just leave. And don't make this hard for me," she cried.
"Wala rin ba akong karapatan makuha ka? Bakit?"
"Dahil hindi na kita mahal," diretso niyang sabi. "Nakalimutan na ng puso ko magmahal. Kaya kalimutan mo na lang din ako, Ross. Because if you'll ask me if I want us, you'll get the same answer as before.
"Hindi ka nagbago, pero ako, oo. Hindi na ako 'yung Moren na matapang, na malakas. You may not want me anymore. Let your hands be empty to hold better people. Forget I exist. Let us keep it this way, Ross." Lumuhod ako sa buhangin. "Please just let me go."
"I don't want to live a life with you anymore. So if you really love me, you'll let me go, Ross.
"Sinasakal lang ako ng mga alaala kasama ka."
I came back here, hoping that we'll make it this time. I came back here to take her with me. Pero bakit ako na lang ang may gusto? How many times should I beg her to stop me from leaving?
Mula noon, iisa lang naman ang hiling ko. Pero hanggang ngayon, hindi niya pa rin ako pipigilan.
"Rossssss!" She yelled my name.
Hindi ko pa man nakikita ay kilala ko na kung sino 'yon.
Bumilis ang paghinga ko nang makita ko si Moren. It almost felt like a dream. Ayokong maniwala na nandito siya. I'm about to cry when she cursed.
"Hayop ka!" Tinakbo niya ako at bago ko pa man malaman kung paano siyang sasapuhin ay bumagsak na kami sa sahig. Moren hovered on top of me while hitting my chest.
"M-Moren."
"Gusto kitang patayin, alam mo ba 'yon?"
I took her hands and carried her. People are looking on us mischievously. Tumigil nga siya sa paghampas ng dibdib ko, sinakal naman niya ako gamit ang braso. "Hayop ka."
"Akala ko ba hindi mo 'ko iiwan?" Nanunubig ang mga mata niya. I chuckled, she looked like a kid. Iyong batang kalaro ko noon.
"I thought you'll be happier if I leave?" That's what she told me. Akala ko sinasakal na lang siya ng mga alaala kasama ako?
"Naniwala ka naman. Kung mahal mo 'ko, malalaman mong hindi ko 'yon ginustong sabihin. Ang tanga mo, Ross!"
"Ang pangit mo! Mabagal ka at nakakainis! Ang arte at ang tamad mo! Wala ka pang awa. Ang sama ng ugali mo-"
I claimed her lips. I tried not to but it's all I'm craving for. I can't wait another minute to do it in another place.
I deepened the kisses. I can do more only if we're not in a public place. Isinukbit niya ang mga braso sa leeg ko at ginantihan ang mga halik ko.
"This is it, Moren. The feeling I'm dying to remember."
That was the second happiest eight seconds of my life. The first was when I met her.
People told me love doesn't last forever but they didn't tell me about the love that comes back, the love that stays, and the patient love.
Maraming nangyari pagkatapos noon. Umuwi si Daddy para sunduin ako but I refused. He blamed Moren for making up stories to make me stay. Pero siya ang may trabaho no'n.
Niloko niya ako para madiktahan. Of course I'm a good asset, magagamit niya ako para mapalago ang negosyo niya. Iyon lang naman ang plano niya kaya niya ako gustong makuha simula pa lang.
I finally accepted I don't have a father or a mother. Totoo pala, hindi lahat ng tao deserve maging magulang. If the day comes when I have my children, I'll make sure to deserve them.
Niyakap ako ni Moren. Binitawan ko ang hitak para yakapin siya nang magpabuhat ito.
"Kamusta ang lipad, Kap?" tanong niya.
"Well and safe," I answered before kissing her. Inalis niya ang cap ko para masuklay ng daliri ang buhok habang gumaganti sa halik ko.
To all the places in the world, she's the best I've been through. Sa kaniya lang ako uuwi kahit saang lupalop pa ako ng mapa mapunta.
Every time the plane will land, it will always be her I want to see first.
"Anak, napakagandang lalaki talaga."
Wala na akong balita kila Mom, her husband and her perfect stepson. I disowned my father as well. Matatawag ko na ulila ang sarili ko but Tito exists, Moren exists, my friends exist. I'm not alone.
We traveled from places to places together. Ilocos, El Nido, Coron, Siargao . . . Natatawa na lang ako minsan. Dahil hindi mawawala ang dagat saan man kami magpunta.
Gusto muna naming maikot ang Pilipas bago ang ibang bansa. So I spent days appreciating small things with the most precious person I can have.
Her. Just her.
The woman with brown eyes and pink cheeks. With lips that resemble the waves of the sea and a nose that mimics the shape of tall mountains. Her smile can light up a whole place even without the sun.
Pinanood ko siyang panoorin ang paglayo ng bangka na sinasakyan ni Adrien. We sent him off for a vacation. Moren waved her hand at the ship.
Nagulat ako nang pagharap niya ay umiiyak na ito.
"Are you crying because of him? You don't cry when you send me off for a flight," nagtatampo kong sabi.
Umiling siya, malakas ang pag-iyak. My hands moved to wipe it. They just kept on coming.
"Ross." She called me.
"Moren, ano ba? You're scaring me."
She cried more. "A-Alam ko na kung anong gusto ko." She was stuttering while speaking.
I was about to tease her. Pero kahit ako ay naiyak nang marinig 'yon mula sa kaniya. She waited for it for so long. She finally found it.
She told me what she wants, still sobbing. "Ross, alam ko na kung anong gusto ko. Alam ko na . . ." She kept repeating it.
"Shhh." I chuckled. Pinagdikit ko ang noo namin. "Hindi ka pa talaga nagsawa sa captain, gusto mo rin maging kapitan."
"Kailan ba ako nagpatalo sa 'yo?" Umiiyak siyang nagsungit.
"Ngayon pa lang sigurado na 'ko. You're the star of the sea, it's calling you now."
She took Bachelor of Science in Marine Transportation. Habang nag-aaral si Moren ay nagtatrabaho ako. We were able to hire someone for Tito. He's doing well. Both of us are enjoying what we do. Hindi ko na nga alam kung anong hihilingin ko sa tuwing papatayin ang apoy sa kandila tuwing kaarawan. Nasa akin na lahat ng mga gusto ko.
Minsan, papipiliin ka ng mundo sa dalawang bagay na parehong mahalaga sa 'yo. It may be between your dream and someone important. You may be forced to choose between love and love, dream or dream.
And there are times we'll regret what we chose, sinisisi natin ang sarili natin minsan. It's fine to give up one thing to get something.
Kahit nakapanghihinayang, kung alam mong iyon ang tama at makabubuti, it will result to something.
I lost count of how many times Moren chose her father over herself. I saw how she prioritized other people before herself. I lied when I said she was selfish. She's the most selfless person I know.
And my eyes couldn't hold the tears anymore when she took the diploma, stop in the middle, and smiled at me.
She's indeed Moren.
"Congrats, pagong." I gave her the bouquet of flowers.
She took it and hugged me tight. Umiyak siya nang uimiyak, hindi na takot, hindi na duwag.
"I love you, palaka."
Humiwalay siya sa akin. Itinaas ko ang kamay para punasan ang mukha niya. Sabay kaming humarap sa pier. Paalis na ang bangkang pangungunahan niya. I fixed her cap and held her chin for a kiss.
My baby is not afraid of waves anymore, the waves are afraid of her.
"Sail safe, my Captain."
"Fly safe, my Captain." Her arms clung around my nape for another kiss.
I watched their ship sail the sea before turning my back. I answered a call from Echavez, today's flight first officer.
"I'm on my way."
I wore my cap and looked back once again to the out-of-reach ship. I smiled and walked away.
I watched her sail her own sea.
She watched me fly my own sky.
Although there are spaces in between us, we still go home in each other's arms.
She drew my clouds. I sailed her waves.
It's an eight words love story. But with right words, right time, right person.
A/N: Special Chapter ahead!