HANA
Pregnancy is difficult. Not to mention painful. All those movies I watched in my childhood and books or online articles I've read over the past few months about the experience don't even come close to the real thing.
Two weeks have passed since my twenty-sixth birthday, (it still feels unreal that I'm at that age, considering I'm typically still twenty-two in my head) and it's as if a flip has switched. Before then, my pregnancy symptoms were relatively mild: some sickness, headaches, pretty tame mood swings that could be fixed with a long cuddle from Harry and a nap.
After that day, however, this child has given me absolute hell.
Apparently, the majority of problems I'm suffering are pretty common around this stage of pregnancy, but that doesn't change the fact it fucking sucks. Heartburn so bad it's debilitating, back pain that, sometimes, prevents me from walking and I have to rope Harry into giving me a massage (whilst simultaneously cuddling me, obviously), and the worst - leg cramps. Allegedly, there's not much explanation as to why some women develop them around five to six months along, but whatever the reason is, they still make me want to scream out of pure frustration.
And the mood swings, which are honestly more Harry's problem to deal with, are unbelievable. I think the combination of my hormones going crazy and the constant frustration at the pain is really trying to take me out.
Flipping from calmly making myself and Harry a coffee to crying inconsolably about a movie we'd watched just last week to having a sudden urge to suck his dick is rather jarring, to be honest, but I suppose that's an inevitable part of pregnancy, and I've yet to hear any complaints from Harry when I do suddenly feel inexplicably horny. To be fair, I can't be blamed, considering the mess of emotions and hormones currently hurtling around my body.
That predicament is currently rather obvious as I sit in bed, a deep frown on my face as I watch some random television show about penguins caring for their children. Harry's learnt over the past two weeks to knock delicately before entering the room, because any disruption has caused me to simply burst into tears for absolutely no reason. Now is no exception, a gentle knock sounding from the door and coaxing me from my trance, and his head pokes around the corner a moment later.
"Hi, Cherrypop. Can I come in?"
"Yes. Come cuddle me."
He nods with an endearing smile plastered onto his mouth, closing the door softly and padding over to the bed. Although I'm laid underneath the duvet, he simply rests on top, looping his arm around my shoulders and guiding me into his chest. He's so warm that I could fall asleep right then and there, but then they show a group of penguin chicks, as they're apparently called, and I can't help but sniffle at the sheer cuteness.
I feel Harry stiffen above me, having gotten quite used to the signs that I may or may not have a solid crying session in the imminent future. "Han? Are you crying over the penguins again?"
"They're just so cute."
"I thought we talked about banning the animal channel. Baby animals are not good for your mental state right now."
"Look at them, Harry," I demand, pouting sincerely at him, though his expression remains neutral aside from one eyebrow being slightly raised. "Look how precious they are. If I put on Titanic, you'd be crying with me."
"That was personal."
"And dearly deserved. At least I have an excuse for being emotional. You're just a sap."
He pretends to scoff in offence, poking my side gently, "I'm in tune with my emotions. I thought that was a good thing. Feminism and stuff."
Turning over, he ends up laid flat with me resting half on top of him, absorbing his warmth and overwhelming love. My palm rests softly on his cheek, and he just looks so pretty right now that I mutter, "be quiet and kiss me," and that's that.
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Hours later, Harry and I are still laid in bed, despite his claims a little while ago that he had many jobs to do before sunset. He'd convinced me to turn off the baby animals and switch it out for a slightly happier movie that we both like, his arm still wrapped tightly around my shoulder. Every so often, he kisses my temple or nuzzles his nose into my hair, and I smile warmly at each endearing action.
Although the movie's still playing, it hasn't earned a speck of our attention in about an hour. "Teach me," Harry requests, referring to the limited Korean I actually speak. My family might be fully Korean for as far as I'm aware, but I was born in America and never heard much Korean around the house except when my rather traditional grandparents visited.
"Okay, okay, listen to me. It's hard to pronounce, sometimes."
"I'll learn. I still have to re-meet your extended family and I need something to impress them."
I giggle softly, sitting up a little more so he can see the movement of my mouth as I attempt to teach him basic greetings. "Just repeat the sounds after me, okay?" He nods, and I have to stifle a laugh at how determined he appears, brows furrowed in concentration and mouth set in a straight line. I decide to say as simply as possible, considering he doesn't know any Korean at all. "Ann."
"Ann."
"Young," I add, trying not to complicate it too much just yet.
"Young."
"Ann-young." He repeats the basic phrase diligently, and I smile sweetly at how much effort he's putting in, even just to properly learn this one word. "Okay, now you have to pronounce it right. The 'young' is more like... well, it's spelt annyeong, so maybe more of an emphasis on the O, alright?" He attempts it twice, each time met with an encouraging nod from me. The third time, I'd say he gets it pretty spot on, and I offer him a congratulatory high-five for his victory.
"Teach me more," he asks, clearly eager.
"Slow down," I laugh softly at his enthusiasm, cupping his jaw gently and pressing a kiss against his cherry lips. "You're doing well. Okay... if you wanna say..." I think for a moment about another phrase I could teach him, "'how are you?', it's eotteoke jinaeseyo."
We spend the next hour reviewing more of the basics - 'nice to meet you', 'my name is Harry' and 'I love you', the last of which I have him repeat several times just because it sounds so wonderful in his voice - until he realises the time and has a mini breakdown.
"Han, I have so much to do! So much to organise for next week," he voices his worry; over the past few days, he's been anxious about summer camp starting. To be honest, I've been a bit nervous about it, considering this is my first extended task - the longest I've ever had to nurse a group of young children was two nights, and that was more than enough work, so six weeks is likely going to be incredibly stressful, especially since I'll be pretty heavily pregnant. This is also the first time I've cared for older teenagers, so I'm not exactly sure what to expect.
"Hey, baby, calm down," I assure him, "everything's gonna be fine. You're incredible at this. You've done this before. Everything will be sorted by the time they arrive."
He sighs dramatically, nodding as if convincing himself that my statements are the truth. Planting a thankful kiss onto my forehead, he murmurs salanghae (I love you, of course) into my ear once more before rushing out of our bedroom to get on with his many tasks.
✩︎
HARRY
On top of planning everything for the main event, I'm trying to set up a date for me and Hana - including the venue, outfits, extra aspects that are incredibly important. She's still unaware of the outing, for which I'm currently sat on the phone to one of the best, most prestigious restaurants in the area, and I intend to keep it that way for as long as possible.
The less she knows, the less chance I have of accidentally spilling some information about it, and I want it to run as smoothly as possible, considering we have just over three months until it won't just be the two of us in our house and half of that will be taken up by the summer camp. Honestly, we don't have much time until the baby will be here, and I'm trying my best to separate my anxiety and ignore that part for now.
"Yes, it's very important that we're seated by a window. Preferably one with the view of the gardens," I speak to the receptionist on the other end - this restaurant is so fancy, it has its very own receptionist, and will most definitely bankrupt me, but it's all worth it - and rub my forehead tiredly.
"Sir, we understand your persistence, but that area is very sought after. I'll have to double-check that your request can be fulfilled."
"Alright, thank you," I reply, pinching the bridge of my nose sharply. I hear the clacking of a keyboard in the background, and hold my breath impatiently.
When her voice finally rings out from the other end of the line, I exhale a heavy sigh of relief at her words: "Mr Styles, it appears you're in luck. We've just had a cancellation for the best table in the house."
"Thank you so much. 8pm, this Sunday is still okay?"
"Yes, Sir, that's perfect. We're looking forward to heaving you."
I'm just about to reply when I hear the creak of a floorboard in front of me, one quick glance up hurrying my actions, "okay, thank you very much. I'll see you later." I end the call as soon as I can, just as Hana slides onto the bench next to me.
"Hey, baby. Who was that?" She asks softly, eyebrows knitted together in innocent curiosity. Her expression flips as she spots a chocolate bar on the table next to my messy notebook, eyes lighting up.
I chuckle lightly, gladly passing her the snack for her to tuck into, and press a kiss against her forehead. "Just my mum, Cherrypop," I reply, sliding from the table and leaning down to kiss her head, simply because I'm an awful liar, especially when it comes to Hana; my face flushes bright red even with little white lies and she usually figures me out immediately.
"Oh, how is she?" She rips open the packet and chomps the chocolate - not even a week ago, she was scowling at the mere thought of any kind of chocolate, and now she's been eating it like a lifeline for the past few days. And of course, I've happily been feeding her latest craving, running out to the shop late in the evenings to satisfy her food urges.
"She's great, Han. Settling back in at home." That bit is true, actually, as I'd made sure to really talk to my parents earlier just for a believable excuse if Hana caught me on the phone. "She said she hopes to visit soon."
"How soon?" Hana inquires, her cheeks puffed out with mouthfuls of chocolate, making her appear a little bit like a very cute chipmunk. I chuckle softly and run my thumb over her lip, reclaiming the seat next to her and guiding her onto my lap. Recently, in my arms has been her favourite place to be, and luckily enough, I'm always happiest when I'm near her, so it's a win for everyone involved.
"Before the baby arrives, she said."
"Is she planning on staying in America for when they're born?"
"I mean, she might as well," I shrug, careful not to disturb her much as she begins to slump into my embrace, obviously tired. "It's a $1200 round-trip for both of them, so there's no point in doing that twice within the span of a couple months. I'll talk to her tomorrow, Cherrybaby. Don't worry about it for now." Running my fingertips along her spine, I start to feel her slowly slip further into sleep, so I unwillingly guide her to her feet, knowing she can't fall asleep here in the food hall. Before leading her back into the house and straight into bed, I stamp one last gentle kiss to her temple, whispering softly into her hair, "I love you, Han."
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hello 🥸 how is everyone today