Jayda
4:00 am
I couldn't sleep. I was tossing and turning and sweating as I slept on the couch. Every time I tried to clear my mind and go back to sleep, his voice and face burned in my mind making me uncomfortable.
"Well you seen wrong my love. It's me, alive, in the flesh. I told you I couldn't be killed, and someday come back to taunt you. You remember that?"
Having enough of the tossing and turning, I jumped to get up to go upstairs and lay in the bed where I might be better off sleeping, but quickly stopped as the stiffness in my leg prevented me from doing so.
"Fuck." I cursed to myself silently as it was early in the morning.
Instead of waking up Shemar, I just plopped my body right back to the position where my body originally laid.
I didn't move. I just laid there staring into the darkness as the room looked like it was getting smaller, hoping it'll force me to go back to the little sleep I could get. After trying for half an hour, I gave up and decided to find my way into the bed.
I sat up slowly, and prepared myself to endure this pain. I used the arm chair to get up fully and started limping to the stairs.
I groaned lowly with every move I made, trying to drag my leg up the stairs without popping the stitches that I had.
"Niggas should've gave me a cane or something." I said under my breath.
"You need help? You sounded like you was struggling." He said from the top of the stairs making me jump, staring down at me.
I looked up at him and squinted my eyes at him tryna see if he was being funny.
"You scared the shit out of me. How long you been right there? I thought you were sleeping."
"Since you tried to get up the first few steps and no I wasn't sleep.."
"Oh okay.."
"So you heard me in here struggling t- you know what imma drop it." I said to myself shaking my head catching a breather before I had to walk up the stairs again. Surprisingly this shit was a lot of work.
Shemar then walked down the stairs behind me and swooped me up gently and painless like it was nothing, and I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my head in his shoulder from exhaustion.
"You wanna go to your room?"
"Do you want me to come to yours?" I said lifting my head up now looking at him directly.
"Not if you're not with the shits."
"If you wanted me in the room with you you could've just said that."
"I could've, but you could've also said you wanted to come in the room with me." He said as he walked in the direction of his door.
"You act like that was my original destination. I was going to go to my room."
"But now you coming with me, so hush with the back and forth combative shit Jayda." He said with a little bass in his voice as he laid me in the bed.
"I'm sorry." I said as it stung me a little. Maybe I was dragging it.
"You good. Just chill. You always so defensive. Loosen up a little." He said leaning to kiss my forehead.
"You wanna smoke? It'll ease your pain and help you sleep."
"You rolled up already?" I said desperately wanting to go to sleep. I didn't even care about the pain at this point.
He pointed to the dresser and reached over me to grab the spliff and the lighter, then lighting it.
"Jayda?" He called me mid inhale.
"Hmm?"
"What's the deal with that Tone nigga and what's y'all beef?" He said as he exhaled.
"Must we talk about that right now?"
"Imma keep it a band, yeah we have to talk about the shit eventually." He said in an assertion in his voice, passing me the spliff.
I closed my eyes and took a long as pull and held it, and released everything I inhaled, feeling my body elevate.
"Can we-"
"Jayda, this nigga is obviously a threat, and I'm tryna protect you, protect us." He said seriously as he watched me inhale and exhale again.
The room was at an awkward silence until I decided to tell him.
"Tone killed my sister Raina. Long story short, Raina and Tone was the trap couple on the block who thought they had it all, making mad money and all that good shit. Tone convinced Raina to expand on the streets and she needed more people. We were only starting high school. That's how I met India, she was one of the other girls who they took off the streets. India just wanted to escape her horrible home reality and start her life anew and on her feet. I had no choice because that was my sister and I did as she said since she became my legal guardian after my parents died."
"Wait so your sister just met the nigga and basically became the wife of El Chapo?" He said as I hit him in the chest.
"You wanted me to tell you now shut the fuck up and stop joking. And the answer to that is no. My parents ran the shit, and once they were taken out, she took over, but I wasn't introduced to it until then."
"So your roots are embedded in this street shit unfortunately."
"Yeah. Now it was getting to a point where Tone felt like he was that nigga, the OG, the one calling the shots, but him and my sister would constantly argue because she peeped it and said something along the lines of, you have no attachment, and he basically would not be in this position if it weren't for her and he wasn't fucking with the truth. He started beating her, and they became a toxic abusive couple."
"Usual bitch nigga shit." Shemar said lighting the spliff to burn more.
"Then he started molesting me, or at least trying to because I ran to my sister every time."
"Pause your sister allowed that?" He asked out if confusion as his whole demeanor changed and he tended up.
"No, calm down, she protected me every single time because that's sick and something you don't do. It kept getting worse and he got bolder each go around, going as far as raping India in the trap when nobody was there, and my sister tried to leave him on numerous occasions.
But that didn't happen. Then, he made this diabolical plan, to kill us all, and take everything she worked for, everything she earned and everything she loved down in the process. Raina was tired of living in this situation and said fuck it let's just leave and go to Atlanta. She didn't wanna fight anymore and she didn't care about the game. She took all the money she could, and packed her clothes as quick as possible and I threw all my shit in a suitcase. She was planning on taking India too but we never got that far."
"What you mean she never got that far?"
I took a deep breath as I revisioned that moment, and held back my tears.
"It was 2:00 in the morning, and we're almost at India's location, and he comes out of nowhere and starts racing us down, and my sister crashed the car with us in it by the park. I crawled out the passenger seat with the bag that had the money ran to the nearest tree and hid behind it but peaked to watch..."
-Flashback-
"Bitch you are so pathetic." Tone said as Raina limped to him with her hand on her back.
"Fuck you Tone. I'm done. You're a sick pussy ass nigga who likes to use people for their resources and touch and rape underaged girls, who the fuck does that?"
"Are you mad that I'm more attracted to them over you?"
"You need to rot six feet below the fucking prison. Do you fucking hear yourself? You're a fucking pedophile and rapist. You deserve everything bad coming your way. And I put that in everything I love. " Raina said as she internally questioned this man's whole mental, yet feeling her anger rise.
"You will not escape me Raina. Where's that sexy sister of yours? I can pimp both of y'all out. Maybe start a sex trafficking ring right here in the towns." He smirked.
I tensed up behind the tree as I heard those words come out of his mouth and immediately got uncomfortable. This nigga was a fucking psychopath.
"You lost your fucking mind yo." Raina said as she ran up to punch him in his face, tired of taking the disgusting disrespect he was dishing out his mouth. She was in pain, but punched him in his face as she knocked him down on the floor, and with the seconds she had, she pulled her gun out from where she was holding her back and aimed it at him, but he managed to recover just in time and grab her leg knocking her to the ground on her back and the gun out of her hand.
"You were never built to run these streets Ja'Raina." He said laughing, picking up the gun and now aiming it at my sister as she laid on the floor in pain, with tears in her eyes.
"I swear to god if you do this Tone I will forever fucking haunt you. I swear on my family I will. You can never be what my family was, and the fact that you tried to use me to get it and then prey on little girls is fucking insane you sick bozo. Fuck you."
"You don't mean that?" He said squatting down and choking my sister sitting her up by her neck.
"You can suck my dick and die." She laughed as she was losing air. He let her go and her body fell flat on the concrete again.
"Well I mean this."
"Pow! Pow!"
As soon as Tone shot her, he jumped in the car and dipped off, since he killed her near a residential area. The cops would be coming soon.
I ran over to my sister with the bag and seen her laying in a pool of her own blood, as she gasped for air.
"RAINA!" I collapsed on the ground next to her as she tried to be strong.
"Raina please no don't leave me please! you're all I have, you're my sister." I said crying and hyperventilating at the same time.
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"She looked up at me and smiled as her eyes started to water up.""Jayda, I love you. It's okay. I'll be with mommy and daddy now" was the last time I heard her voice as tear that was forming in her eye dropped, took her last breath and watched my sister die." I said as the tears finally escaped my eye, and I cried with a straight face.
Shemar grabbed my face and pulled it up to where I was now face to face with him, as the tears stayed on my face. He wiped them off my face, and passed me the spliff.
"I'm not fon to lie, I would've never thought you would've been through some shit like that. I'm sorry you even had to go through that."
"It was fine because I thought I dealt with it by ending his life myself. Remember when I said my sister used yo bring us to that trap and you questioned me about it?"
"Yea I remember."
"That's where India, and I helped my sisters bro out to kill him. We made him think we were going to obey his every command on some sick shit and set him up. And I thought we killed him. I could've sworn that was his lifeless body I saw. I was almost sure of it. That's how I was able to escape this shit and that's why I didn't wanna get back in. I lost enough people in my lifetime."
"I'm here to protect you now. Especially since that nigga Tone is back or whatever the case is, he not gonna be here for long mamas. On my dead parents and my life he won't be touching none of y'all."
"Thank you. Really. I might actually stop being a bitch to you for a little bit." She said cracking a small smile. "But that don't mean I'm completely cool with you though."
"I thought we were getting somewhere, emotionally investing into each other." He said causing me to pause.
"You don't be making it seem like you want to connect like that, especially after going out to eat, that whole situation I'm honestly not fucking with it."
"Look I-"
"Nah hold on real quick." I said sitting up fully. "Because once again you wanna connect with me on a deeper level but you don't wanna open up about shit going on. How are we gonna connect if you don't want to open up and express your vulnerability?" I said calmly questioning him making him sit and think.
"I wanna connect in some other ways too but I'm gonna chill because you're handicap." He said turning everything into a joke.
"Mmcht, stop fucking playing I'm about to go to sleep now." I said laying down and turning over to the side.
"Jayda chill."
I laid there as he still sat up wide awake, doing good knows what.
"Fuck it, on some real shit, I think I'm falling in love with you." He said scaring me, causing me to turn over facing him.
"What are you chatting out your ass right now? How?" I said genuinely questioning his statement.
"I never met a female like you. Yea you acting bitchy," he said as I sat up and looked up at him "you said it not me, but I really fuck with you despite that attitude, I can see myself with you and I think I'm falling in love with you."
"I-Uh-Shem"
"Before you say anything, yes I know we ain't know each other for that long, but I want you Jayda forreal, all bullshit aside, potential "babymothers" and all. You're not obligated to say how you feel back if you don't want to, and I respect if you don't know how you feel at the moment. I'm just telling you what it is so you can never say I didn't. And we both know we have something for each other." He said staring me in my eyes fake pouring his heart out.
"I have a lot of love for you Shemar." I said as I grabbed his face and pecked his lips a few times.
"I do."
"Since we having this conversation, I really like you and have a lot of love for you. I want to love you, because yes I have strong feelings for you, but I feel like before I can give myself to you completely I need to handle my internal problems first, nothing involving you in a bad way I promise. It's like when Rupal says "if you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?""
"Jayda, trust me I got my own shit to sort out too outside of you, you just mentioned that whole eating shit. I feel like we can do that and still work on ourselves, by letting each other in and doing it together. Just think about it. I can see myself building this unbreakable bond with you, having kids, and growing old together all that corny shit."
"I usually do this by myself though Shemar. And once again you're sparking the question, how will I know that you will open up to me? Be there for me like I can be there for you?"
"Am I not telling you how I feel right now? You're putting up that wall again and no offense all I hear is a bullshit defense mechanism. What are you so afraid of?" He said as he grabbed my hands and caressed them looking in my eyes.
"Getting hurt again and wasting my time.."
"Jayda I'm not going to hurt you, baby, I just wanna grow with you. You don't believe me?"
"I won't believe it until I see it. I've wasted enough time listening to words, and not seeing actions."
"Look you want the reassurance? Done. Let me make my intentions very clear right now, and my actions will follow it no doubt. I want to worship the ground that you walk on forreal, and I want more than whatever this is that we're doing."
"With that being said, Jayda Cheaves, I am asking you will you be my girl?"
All I could do was stare in his eyes. I didn't even have words to reply. There was no more being combative, no comeback or anything. At that moment I seen a grown ass man getting his life together, wearing his vulnerability on his sleeve.
I took a deep breath and looked down at his hands as I shook my head yes. "Mhmm."
He grabbed my chin with his finger raising my head up, and kissed me passionately as the sun started to rise.
"I love you Jayda."
I hope I don't regret this.
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Now honest to god I probably would've folded too his fine ass🤣 but y'all this cute or whatever, a superrr late Valentine's Day gift, I'd figured we get some love inna air❤️
My thing is if he saying all that he'll yea I better see some action. Is it giving man on his word or big time capper?👀
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~Aolera🤍~