Macy
Fourth period ends, and as I'm walking out of class, I see Gina and Addy walking towards me so that we can walk to lunch. As we proceed to the cafeteria, someone rushes up behind us and shoves me to the ground, knocking all of my books and papers out of my hands.
I hear an irritating squeaky voice coming from behind us. "Hey trash, still following my girl around like a lost puppy I see," Brooklyn says to me.
As I'm collecting my things off the floor, I notice that Adelaide has been backed into the lockers and Brooklyn's lips are smothering hers. Addy's eyes widen, but she does nothing to push her away once she realizes what's going on. She just stands there with her lips agape, letting Brooklyn suck her face off. The feelings of anger and sadness flow through me, and I turn away to continue picking up my books.
I watch as Gina pulls her off of Adelaide. "What the hell do you think you're doing Brook?"
She wipes her lips with a grin, "Just trying to show Addypoo what a good time looks like." Her eyes shift to me, "something this trash can never do."
I want to rip her head off, but instead of getting into trouble, I fix my bag strap and walk away to the nearest restroom. When I enter, I find two girls washing their hands and gawking at themselves in the mirror.
"Get out!" They look at me startled but don't move. "Now!" I yell even louder and hurl my books at them. They rush out the door just as Adelaide walks in. She turns to the knob and locks it behind her. As the temptation to get high and escape my feelings intensifies, I pace back and forth in front of the mirrors. I grab my backpack, slam it on top of the sink, and begin searching through it. My mouth is dry, and it becomes harder to breathe correctly. My palms begin to sweat, and I wipe them on my pants before ripping my hoodie off my body.
"What are you looking for?"
"None of your business. Get out!"
"No! I'm not going anywhere."
I shove my book bag to the floor, kicking it and gripping a fist full of my hair, "I said... get... the hell... out Adelaide!"
"No!"
"Yes!" I scream in her face, and she balls her fist up.
"Stop yelling at me!"
"I'm not yelling at you!"
"Yes, you are!" We stare intensely at one another before I break eye contact and shake my head.
"I just need to find my pills." I wipe my nose and grab my bag once more, slamming it against the counter. "I need them, okay? I need them right now. Anything will work. Something that will ease this pain." A sharp pain surges within my chest, and I rub my fist against it, gasping for air.
"They aren't in there." She steps in front of me, trying to separate me from the bag. "Macy, look at me." I won't. I can't. All I can think about is Brooklyn's lips on hers for a second time. The same lips that kissed mine at the Labor Day party. The same ones I stare at before falling asleep each night and wake up to each morning. The same lips that refuse to touch mine once more for fear of judgment from those around her. "Mays, look at me, please."
My attention is drawn into focus by her desperate pleading. My eyes travel to hers, but when they meet, I become enraged again and step back from her. "Don't Adelaide. Just, don't."
"What?" She asks, confused, as she advances towards me, grabbing my arm and pulling me back to her. I swat her hands away and back away even further. Her touch is as hot as fire on my flesh. My frustration with her is at an all-time high. How could she have let that slime ball kiss her not once but twice? She attempts to reach for me once more.
"How can you be so sweet at home yet so oblivious to how they treat me at school? You say you care, but all I hear is lies! You let them push me around for years and never intervened when you knew you had the power to. You're still too much of a coward to push her off of you. Gina just had to pry her off you... did you even want her to stop?"
"I did. I just didn't process what was happening."
I want to scream about how much of a liar she is, but the pressure in my chest is worsening as I strenuously inhale trying to force air into my lungs. I push past her to my bag, looking for something to take my mind off my misery. As sweat streams down my neck, I burst into tears and fling each item one by one from inside of the bag. Wishing even the smallest pill will appear, I turn the bag upside down, shaking it. But nothing useful drops out, and I slam it against the ground.
Blinded by the urge, my fists begin to pound on the surface of the bathroom sink. White porcelain fragments chip away from the edge, but before I could do too much damage to my hands, arms wrapped around my body from behind, squeezing me. Sobbing uncontrollably, I'm unable to break away from her grasp. She drags me along with her till her back hits the wall, forcing me to the floor with her. My back presses into her, my breathing still irregular. The tears streaming down my cheeks refusing to stop.
"Macy, listen to me," she says, placing her palm on my forehead and leaning my head back to hers. She brushes her lips softly against my skin. "Mays, if you don't calm down, you will pass out from hyperventilation." Even if I wanted to, I can't. All I can hear is the deafening pounding of my racing heart. It isn't until I feel the wetness of her tears streaming down my cheek that I realize how much seeing me in this state affects her too. She grips me closely, and I listen to her speak through her tears. "Shhhh, come on. Please, calm down for me baby." Her words struck me like a brick of ice, and the coldness was enough to snap me out of the attack. My breathing begins to slow down. "There you go Mays. Breathe... just breathe."
Her hand reaches for my hair and brushes it away from my face. She presses the side of her face against mine, her arms holding me tightly as if she can't bear the thought of letting go. I sigh and press myself farther into her chest. We sit on the floor of the restroom, catching our breath and waiting for the bell to ring. A few people tried to get in, but they couldn't because Addy had locked us in.
She drags me to her father's office when the bell finally rings. "What's the matter? What happened?" Mrs. Reed panics as we walk into her office and take a seat. "How come you two aren't in class?"
"She had another episode," Adelaide tells her father as I sink deeper into the chair in front of the counselor's desk.
"Was it provoked by something or just happened?" Adelaide glances at me, and a flashback of what happened to set everything off enters my thoughts.
"I... Brooklyn kissed me in the hall... and Macy saw."
Mrs. Reed nods her head, a faint smirk on her face as she tries to hold back her laughter. "It's not funny. I apologize. The episode is clearly not amusing. I'm pleased you're okay Macy, but you two... are something else." Adelaide and I exchange a look of embarrassment and lower our heads. "Wait, was that your first kiss, Addy?"
"Dad!" I look at Adelaide, confused. Addy looks away, her face flushed with humiliation.
"I'm going to tell your mother you had your first kiss, hold on." Mrs. Reed takes her phone out as if she were a proud parent. My laugh is muffled by my sleeve.
"Wait, no, Dad!" She hurriedly gets to her feet and snatches her father's phone. "Brooklyn was not my first kiss. It was..." She casts a glance over her shoulder towards me.
"It was me." I blurt out. "Your daughter thought it would be a good idea to trick me to get the bag of cocaine from me at the boathouse party."
Mrs. Reed shakes her head in disappointment at her daughter. "That's not how I imagined your first kiss."
"Yeah, that's not how I pictured it either." She falls back into her seat, ashamed.
"Okay. Well, I wish you better kisses in the future Princess." She claps her hands together and looks at her computer screen. "Macy darling, are you up for the rest of the school day, or would you like to be excused to go home with Adelaide and me." I chew on my hoodie string, not wanting to go back to class. The two girls I threw my books at in the bathroom are in them. "I'll send your last two teachers a message informing them that you've left for the day and to send your class work to me. You don't have many days left before they begin to question if you're ready to graduate Macy."
"Okay. Thank you," I mumble.
"Of course. You girls head to the car. I'll be there in a minute."
We do as Mrs. Reed says, and I take the back seat. Adelaide insisted on sitting next to me. I was still irritated by her allowing someone else to kiss her, so I sat far away from her and stared out the window the entire trip home. All I could think of was her calling me baby for the first time.