september 2016
As expected, Awsten is in an awful mood when he wakes up.
He doesn't even remember falling asleep. His memory is lapsed by exhaustion; it's clear, up until he and Sadie went to bed.
He remembers her going to the bathroom, and he remembers her shouting at him.
He remembers looking to her nightstand to see her phone was face-down, the screen lighting up every couple of seconds, and he remembers trying to ignore the alarm bells that were ringing in his head.
He doesn't remember when it went wrong. He doesn't remember why she started shouting at him, and he doesn't remember why she kicked him out— if there even was a reason.
But, he remembers walking to the B&B. He remembers her calling him to yell some more. He remembers crying— he didn't need to remember that, though, because the way his throat hurts and his eyes burn is enough to tell him that it happened.
Everything around him sounds like static, and he doesn't even hear Geoff trying to get his attention.
"Awsten," he says, one more time, waving his hand in front of his face.
The action visibly snaps Awsten out of his trance and he blinks blankly at Geoff, finally beginning to feel present.
"D'you want some coffee?" Geoff repeats his question.
"Uh, I— Yeah," Awsten nods, slowly.
"Dude, you totally spaced out just then," Otto chimes in, a concerned look in his face.
"Sorry, I just..." He sighs, rubbing his hands over his face. "I feel like I didn't sleep at all."
"I'm not surprised," Jawn murmurs in response, causing Awsten's head to shoot up, now sending daggers in his direction. "Sorry, I— We heard you on the phone last night," he looks to Geoff and Otto, who's expressions melt to sympathy.
"Fuck," Awsten grumbles, letting his head fall to rest in his hands. "I tried to be quiet, guys, I'm sorry."
"We know, it's okay," Geoff offers him a small smile. "How about we get coffee on the way to the meeting?" He suggests, earning agreement from the rest of the group.
Their softness and sympathy doesn't make Awsten feel any better. If anything, it makes him feel more guilty; they're always so accommodating when anything goes wrong. He wonders how different things would be if they weren't that way.
He doesn't say much between a light breakfast and the walk to get coffee. He's quietly stewing, revelling in his own bad mood, only making it progressively worse— which causes Geoff and Otto to dread the band's looming meeting with their record label even more. They feel a little bad for envying Jawn, who gets to stay back at the B&B.
Equal Vision Records has quickly gone down in each of their estimations. A year ago, they felt like saviours— offering the three of them the opportunity they'd been waiting years for. But, day by day, their true colours have began to show; and everyone's patience, especially Awsten's, is beginning to wear thin.
"I'm willing to bet money that everything said in this meeting could've been an email," Awsten speaks up, for the first time in over an hour.
"No need to bet. I'm with you on that one," Geoff laughs, dryly, as they enter the doors to the building.
"They send you guys emails?" Otto looks between the two of them, genuinely confused.
"You're not missing out on much," Awsten shakes his head in dismissal and sighs, as the three continue to walk through the building.
Geoff walks in front of Awsten and Otto, stepping up to do most of the initial talking, as they reach the reception desk.
Awsten works up his first small smile of the day to the receptionist.
Her name is Anna— she's new to the offices, and she's the nicest person that each of the boys have met around here.
"Hey, Anna," Otto offers her a wave.
"Hi, boys!" She grins in return. "Here, I put out the candy y'all like," Anna gestures to the small pot of sweet goods on her desk, causing Otto's eyes to light up excitedly.
Her accent is the strangest mixture between Tennessee and California— like a stereotypical valley girl, mixed with a southern sweetheart.
Anna speaks softly and kindly. She's delicate, wears pretty skirts and sandals wherever possible. She likes big, polka dot prints and lots of pink. She even has a pink fluffy pen that she uses in work every day— Awsten has never seen her without it.
"Jeremy will see you guys shortly," Anna tells the three of them.
"Jeremy?" Awsten repeats, with a groan, letting his head fall into his arms, where they rest on the high point of her desk.
"Sorry," she offers an apologetic smile, when he looks up. "He flew in from New York a couple days ago. If it helps, he seems to be in a really good mood."
"Oh, great," Awsten rolls his eyes, sarcastically. "That must mean he has more energy to piss me off."
"I'm sure it'll be fine," Anna nudges him softly, with a gentle smile.
Awsten manages to work up a sort of flat-smile in return, before the door to the conference room is opened.
"Ah, Waterparks!" Jeremy grins from the doorway, with open arms. "How are you boys, huh? You ready?"
"Why can't he just call us by our names?" Awsten mutters, through gritted teeth, causing Geoff to send him a sharp look.
"We're good, Jeremy, thanks!" Geoff speaks for the group, with a smile. "We're ready when you are," he adds, as Jeremy clasps his hands together, nodding for them to head inside of the conference room after him.
Awsten rolls his eyes, in an over-exaggerated manner, refraining from making any move into the room just yet, until Otto takes his arm, pulling him along.
As suspected, the meeting only worsens Awsten's overall mood.
All he's getting from what Jeremy is saying is that the label isn't willing to give the band enough money to support their creative decisions.
They just made their debut album on a low enough budget— they're cutting money from the upcoming tour, too, and now they're refusing a request for money to film a new music video.
"Come on," Awsten insists. "We can't just have one music video out for the whole of our debut-fucking-album," he rolls his eyes, his elbows leaning on the table as he waves his hands in a manner that he usually does when he's irritated. "No one does that."
"Do you even have a second single picked out yet?" Jeremy asks, raising his eyebrows.
"Yes, I told you that weeks ago," Awsten sighs, frustratedly. "We picked out Royal, unanimously. Benji and Joel agree, so that's management on board. You're the only one standing in the way of it going ahead," he elaborates, hoping he's being convincing enough— but hopefully not too desperate.
"I'll think about it," Jeremy responds, in a hesitant tone, which makes Awsten want to slam his head flat on the table in front of him. "Oh! But, I do have soemthing else I want to bring up with you guys before I let you go."
Geoff and Otto lean forward, each of them feigning hopeful interest, while Awsten leans back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I have these merch designs that I wanted to run by you," Jeremy murmurs, pulling out some pages from his folders.
"After last time?" Awsten begins frowning already. "And the time before? Really, Jeremy, I'm quite happy designing the merch myself," he proceeds, with a fake gentleness to his tone, which makes it difficult for Otto to hold back a chuckle.
Awsten has hated every single merch design and mock up that anyone from Equal Vision's team has come up with, ever since they first signed to them. In fact, he's hated anything creative that they've even breathed near.
It's been a constant cycle— them presenting a design, and Awsten shooting it down. Previously, they have gone through with making the products anyway, without consulting the band at all, which made Awsten's blood boil more than anything else they've done so far.
"We really don't need to see the designs," Awsten insists.
"I know how you've felt about our merchandise designs in the past, Awsten, and I told you that I'd take your opinions into considerations," Jeremy replies, slowly. "Which is why we hired someone new! She's very talented. She can do absolutely anything, honestly," he continues. "We've practically moved her out here specifically for this job, only a couple of months ago. She's from England, was working for a magazine there, but someone on my team scouted her. She's really elevated our team a lot already, as well as our products. So, I just know you'll love her and her designs."
Awsten is ready to retort with something spiteful; maybe a comment on how they couldn't run their offices efficiently enough in the first place so they've had to bring someone across the world to do it for them by the sounds of it; or maybe about how he can still do better than whatever their little prodigy has come up with— since, it's his art and his band.
But, he thinks against it when Geoff shoots him a warning glance.
"We can take a look," Geoff speaks up, gently.
"I really think you'll love them," Jeremy reiterates, sliding the pages of designs across the table.
Upon first look, Awsten is almost speechless. His brain goes blank for a moment as he stares at the paper, adorning carefully drawn designs of hoodies, various t-shirts and sweaters.
He's never seen anyone on Equal Vision's team take the time and effort to hand-draw any sort of mock up.
He wonders how long it took, if these were her first drafts and how she managed to make them look so perfect— but, mostly, he wonders how she managed to do a better job than he could've done.
Awsten frowns at that. He hates that these designs are possibly better than what he could've done.
He's been designing and creating merch for Waterparks since the band began; he technically invented Waterparks merchandise— how could someone else do that better than he can?
"These are amazing," Otto says, with his eyes wide.
"Yeah, look at this one," Geoff adds, pointing to one of the sweater designs, clearly surprised by the level of skill, too.
"Awsten?" Jeremy quirks an eyebrow, awaiting his response. "Can we run with these?"
He hesitates for a long moment.
The bitterest part of him wants to say no. However, he can't deny how good the designs are. Besides, would they just do it without his permission anyway?
"Sure," Awsten mutters, before forcing a tight-lipped smile.
With that, the meeting concludes, and Awsten wants to get out as swiftly as possible.
"See you soon, guys!" Anna smiles warmly to the group at the exit the conference room.
"Bye, Anna," Otto waves, animatedly, while Geoff offers her a smile.
Awsten wears a deep scowl on his face, and keeps his head down, remaining quiet until they're out of the building.
"You didn't seem too thrilled with those mock ups, man," Otto brings up, carefully, as they start down the sidewalk together.
"Yeah, because, like—" Awsten pauses, inhaling a sharp breath. "What the fuck, you know?" He turns to his two band mates, who stare blankly. "Whoever she is— Why do they think that she can start a brand new job and start making shit for us, huh? Why does she think that she can do that?" Awsten begins falling into a rant. "Like, why are they giving that responsibility to someone who has worked for them for five minutes? They obviously don't care what the outcome is, if that's the case," he scoffs. "Are we just for trial and error? We deserve better than that."
Geoff and Otto are fully aware of how much of a brat Awsten is being about all of this, because regardless of the amount of time she's worked with EVR for, whoever designed those mock-ups is good. In fact, deep down, Awsten himself knows how much of a brat he's being.
But, no one says anything. Geoff and Otto don't want to set him off even more; after the way things have been going in recent months, having shortly finished a rough Warped Tour, plus everything that happened last night with his girlfriend, they see that this must be the way he's letting his anger out.
It may not be the best outlet, and they recognise that, but it's an outlet. So, they let it slide.
***