Dolent (noun)
full of sorrow.
♡♡
It was trepidation.
The sense of fear she was witnessing each time she paced to the length of the hall and back to the front door. The foreboding sense of some mishappening made her throat clog with anticipation and unease. It was so much to take that a glance at the clock made her throat gulp the last of its content. She avoided looking at it every time she wished to check for time.
No, it wasn't because it was too late. The last she checked, the small hand had hardly crossed eight. It was the news that Danish passed to her, well it wasn't news but a panic-stricken call to her that her husband was missing from his cabin which he had left destructed in the midst of his anger.
There was a reason why Veer was beyond angry and Danish hesitated telling her. She understood when he said that it was Veer's to tell and not his. What she could extract out of Danish was that he was kicked out of the said cabin by her husband who wanted space and silence.
But she never knew his silence was this destructive. When she witnessed the place herself, she couldn't swallow the extent of the damage his anger could do. She had seen blood splashes in the heap of broken glass and she felt worry clouding her heart.
Anger had the power to rule minds and often made humans act crazily. The brain was stripped down of any control and rationality. It was just the rage that ruled human actions.
Heaving a deep breath she clutched onto the sofa to stop the hammering of her heart and the overthinking brain of hers which was at its best trying to weave possible situations. Some more dangerous and dark than she had ever heard about.
"It is Veer." She tried to convince herself. "He is not stupid. He'll do nothing wrong. He is rational and knows how to manage his brain. He'll do no stupidity."
"Mahi" came a curious voice "Are you talking to yourself?"
"Mira" Mahira tried calming herself, playing normal "You hungry? I'll set dinner for you."
"No. I was thinking to eat with you and Bhai. He must be on his way home. It's past 8:30" Mira informed her plans.
Mahira tried smiling slowly, apologetically "H-he is going to be late today. He c-called."
"Oh" her face dropped a little, Mahira felt bad lying to her. "Then let's eat. You'll join me right?"
Mahira bit her lower lip, not wanting her to doubt her strange behavior. "Yeah. Let me set the table. Can you feed Jim till then?"
"Oh, my favorite part to do," Mira exclaimed. She was such a ball of energy, she brought liveliness packed with her wherever she went.
Mahira quickly busied herself with the task, the little minutes of engagement pushed her anxiousness back and she was able to tame her thoughts.
Serving Mira and herself, the part portion only to fiddle with Mahira gazed into a vacant chair at the head of the table.
Eating was nowhere near her agenda today.
"Are you hiding something from me?" Mira quizzed, her eyes darting between her plate and her face. "You seem to be lost and restless for some reason."
"Me? No why? I'm perfectly alright" She lied to her, quickly stuffing her face with one big bite.
Mira's eyes scrutinized her for a few seconds but seeing her chewing her food she didn't question her anymore.
"You know I'm just treated as a baby but I'm a grown-up and I can tell something is bothering you and I won't ask you because it's your business but please remember I'm here if you want to share it," Mira said after dinner. Her palm stopped Mahira from taking the dishes.
Mahira gave her a grateful smile blinking back moisture "Mira...I don't want to stress you right now. I'll tell you once it's over, okay?"
Mira nodded with a smile "I'm all ears for you."
"Thank you for being here" Mahira smiled at her shakily, feeling herself getting stronger than before.
Mira grinned. She stood up and hugged her "This is from my side" her grin turned mischievous, and she pecked Mahira's cheek "And this is from Bhai. I'm not giving you what he actually would" She scrunched her nose "It is actually gross I'm thinking what he would be giving to you, Eww. Just take it from him when he comes home."
Mahira chuckled, shaking her head she picked up the plates which Mira snatched from her.
"I'll do the dishes for you." She hopped to the kitchen sink and Mahira settled back on the dinner table.
Mira hopped back to her room informing me how she was going to binge-watch a new web series. The door shut behind her and Mahira settled on the couch. Jim-jam came to her, snuggling to her as if understanding her need for comfort. She picked the little fur ball and sat with her legs crossed. She let the puppy settle on her lap as she sat waiting.
It was eerily silent that every single moment made her snap out. A shuffle of feet near the door made her alert. She dropped the puppy and ran to the door, yanking it open.
"Veer," She said in relief but a glance at him and her eyes widened in disbelief seeing the man before her. He looked nothing like her husband who dropped her at work today. His shirt was wrinkled, and dirty with blood splashes. His eyes looked grim and red. Hairs were tangled and wild testifying the assault of his fingers.
"Ira" His eyes snapped to her and a shift took place. She could see it clearly as the emotions came crashing at him. His step wobbled and he fell forward. She yelped in surprise holding into his broken form.
She felt her heart break seeing tears leaking from his eyes, she cupped his face wanting to take away all his pain.
"I'm s...so s-sorry" his voice stabbed her in the guts.
"V-veer what's wrong? Where were you all this time?" She felt her throat clogged. " What happened? Please don't cry. You're the strongest person I know. You're the shield. You can't break." Her thumb wiped his cheek, his eyes were scaring her. They seemed to be laced with blood.
His sobs resonated as he kept whispering apologies for God knows what.
"Shh. Please stop saying sorry. You are not at fault. Whatever happened was not your fault?" she didn't know what exactly had happened but she felt like assuring him. She cleared her throat and tried standing. "Let me take you inside. You need to freshen up and rest."
With all her strength she helped him up, his arms were limp and his steps faltered, with difficulty she dragged him to their room and made him sit on the bed. She pushed his hair back and made him look up. His eyes were unfocused as tears leaked down continuously. She wiped his face. Then checked his knuckles and palms with torn flesh and fingers bruised.
Her eyes watered as his head rested against her stomach. She engulfed him tightly as if transferring her strength to him. Her fingers roamed in his head wishing to calm his cries as his sobs tore her heart apart. His arms were clutching her so tight but nothing mattered at the moment. His shaking shoulders made her bite her lower lip to stop the whimper from her.
He didn't need her tears but her support, taking a deep breath she pushed them back. She had to be strong for both of them. She kept chanting it and held him against her. Her kurta was soaked with his tears, she could feel him breaking and the need to make him back piece by piece made her hold turn protective.
His shaking came down a little and she kneeled before him. Cupping his face gently.
"Veer. I want you to go inside and shower. Do you understand me?" She talked to him like a child, Shaking his head she repeated her questions and he nodded disoriented. "I'm bringing you a change of clothes, okay?"
He nodded again.
She pulled him to her, resting her forehead against him. "I'm here. I'll wait here for you to come out. Will you be quick?"
He blinked in assurance.
She smiled and quickly rushed to the closet and brought him a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. Placing the clothes in his arms she repeated the instructions to him again and he robotically walked towards the washroom.
With shaky fingers she dialed a number, breathing to calm her voice.
"Is he home yet?" Came Danish's worried voice.
"Yes," she nodded "He came back."
"I'm coming in a minute." He announced.
"No" she shot "No Danish. You should rest. He needs rest too. Today has been hard for both of you."
"Mahi. How is he?" He whispered.
"Not himself" she mumbled, wiping the edge of her eyes, she took a sigh "I have to go. Just come tomorrow and see him. okay?"
"Okay," the call hung.
She silenced her device and placed it on the nightstand. She searched for his phone and did the same with it.
The door to the washroom opened and he walked out, showered, and looked better.
He dropped the towel on the settee and she picked it making him sit on the edge of the bed. She dried his hair a little and sat infront of him. She took his hand in his and he quietly gazed at her actions.
"This will burn a little" She mumbled to him in warning before placing the soaked cotton on his wounds. She hissed feeling the shiver of pain but he didn't react.
She glanced up at him, his face was white and blank.
"Don't worry. Nothing can hurt me anymore," he said to her.
Her heart twitched with pain, gritting her teeth to stop her tears she made a failed attempt to smile.
She dressed his injuries silently, dropping his right hand and taking his left palm.
"When I saw blood on the floor I was so angry at you for hurting yourself. I wanted to smack you hard for inflicting pain on yourself. This was the last time you did this, Veer. I swear if you try this again. No one will be as scarry as me. Do you understand?" She said sternly and his lips twitched in a smile.
"You can never be scary. You don't possess it." He stated.
"Oh yeah? You're living in an illusion sir." She taunted him trying to be playful.
"I was living in an illusion. Things I believed all these years were nothing but a mirage created by my own father. I was such a fool to trust his lies and believe them all my life." He said berating himself. "And you know what the worst part is that I'm his son. A manipulative lying bastard who weaved so many lies and mirages for his sick need for power. I was playing with people, their lives, and their emotions because they mattered nothing to me. I let people suffer and lose because they didn't give in to my demands. I did so many things wrong that if I go back and try repaying them, I would have to sell my soul but I'll never be able to repay their sufferings. I want to hate that but How can I hate that man when I'm just like him?"
"Stop..."
"No let me speak up, please. I'll die with shame if I don't let this out. The heaviness in my heart will kill me, Ira. It'll suck my life away." He begged. "I pursued you because of my one such need for power. I ruined your life, your dreams, and your chances of a safe life. I played with your heart and fooled you into marrying me. And this wasn't it? I blackmailed you on our wedding night with those files. I blamed you for a crime I can't imagine you doing. I accused you of a heinous crime. I pushed you to those panic attacks. I made your life hell. I deserve so much hatred from you but here you're. Near me. Tending to my wounds when I gave you never healing scars. None of my regrets will make me free from this crime. Those people on news and all those editors were right. I'm a devil. I'm worst than Satan him..."
Her lips silenced him, she had heard enough of him accusing his actions when it was all done and can't be redone.
"Stop calling my husband all that. Do you hear me? I'm a very patient woman but I don't take insults well, not for my family." She threatened him.
He looked away, heaving with disgust "What husband Ira? Do you even know his name?"
"Rajveer Malik" She stated.
He snapped his head to her.
"This is the name you wanted to know right? It's him, RV Malik the world fear. The founder and current CEO of ACME, the tech giant which is conquering the globe. The mind behind one of the best security software in the world. The handsome devil with eyes so black that they put midnight to shame. He is calm as silence but his anger can beat disasters in destruction. He carries pride in his work. But you want to know the most admirable feature in him?" she asked and his wide eyes didn't blink. "It's his heart. He holds the strength to face every shot pulled at him but for the people he loves, He holds the power to kill. He is limitless when it comes to protecting the ones he cares for and that's what makes him Rajveer Malik. My husband"
"You knew?" he whispered in disbelief.
"You didn't take me as a dump before so why to consider me one now?" she asked him. He averted his gaze from him but she forced him to look back. "Don't you dare look away from me? Do you really think I was so dumb that I won't catch up on your name? When we met first, I gave you my half-name. It was accepted that you did the same. I didn't ask you anymore because I didn't want you to question me but that didn't mean I won't observe things. There were so many loopholes that I made the connections. Veer Malik really? Was it that difficult to connect your name with ACME and Danish? Did you really think I won't read my husband's name on the marriage certificate? I'm not stupid Veer. I knew all along that you were Rajveer Malik." Her palm caressed his cheek. "Yeah, It took me some time to figure out your lies but I knew who you were. I never really brought it up because I liked you acting normal with me. Not like those stuck-up billionaires who kept controlling everyone around them." She bit back her smile. "Though that's different that you try but I don't let you have a lot of control."
"I'm sorry for treating you like shit" his head dropped, and his shoulders sagged.
"Don't curse" she reminded him. "Well you know, the day you gifted me this ring..." She flashed her ring finger "I knew you weren't normal. Both in the head as well as with the size of the pocket. Like who goes out and purchases the only one-of-a-kind ring. Be grateful I led this happen or I would have given you hell.." her eyes widened and she bit her tongue realizing the curse word she said, making a funny face. "You're such a bad influence" she smacked his arm.
His face broke into laughter, and shaking his head he curbed down his chuckles. "Don't act so much, Dove. Over dramatics doesn't suit you."
"Right." She grinned sheepishly "But you laughed. Mission successful"
His smile straightened, eyes burning with unsaid intensity and care. "Thank you" he whispered.
"I'm here. I told you. I'll be right beside you every second. If not physically, I'll make my presence virtually." She winked. He smiled shaking his head. "Now Mr. Malik I'll bring you food. You know I can't keep you starving for long or you might...."
"I might eat you up" He stated smirking.
Her grin turned into a genuine smile "Welcome back, Veer"
It's not me but you who cried.