January passed in agony, and so did the first few weeks of February. If anything, Adeline's crush on Potter grew, and Potter became more reluctant to even acknowledge her existence.
And it was the worst feeling Adeline had felt, but in a special way. Because when dealing with her father, it was a sickening fear she could learn how to avoid by behavior. It had never felt good. But being with Potter felt good. And there was no way to change or avoid the feelings she had.
If there was a positive, however, Adeline grew closer to Pansy, Adeline and Blaise. Instead of retreating to her dorm after only a few minutes' conversation, she stayed up and played exploding snaps with them, which Adeline was quite bad at. And though competitive, it was more fun than she'd had with them in years. At least since the days of vacationing in France when they were young children.
But laughing with them felt nothing like laughing with Potter, which Adeline had wrapped her head around that she'd probably never get to do again.
Four days before the Second Task, Adeline walked back to her dorm after dinner, wiping her hands within themselves because chip crumbs covered them. No matter how many times she finished eating, telling herself the utensils had a purpose, Adeline became addicted to eating with her hands; it was just so convenient.
Damn Potter for teaching her it.
Adeline headed to the boy's bathrooms on the first floor (missing the sign completely) and lathered soap between her fingers. Then, a stall door opened behind her, causing Adeline to look up.
Potter stepped out, and their eyes met in the mirror. Potter froze, then rolled his eyes and picked the furthest sink from Adeline.
Adeline continued washing her hands. At the moment, she was going to completely ignore that she was in the boys' bathroom, because there were more important things. To talk to him, not to talk to him... She looked in the mirror's reflection to find all the stalls empty.
Adeline swallowed, her hands running under the water. "I know I'm not supposed to talk to you, but good luck." Potter said nothing. When she turned off her sink and went to wipe her hands, she decided she had to do whatever it took to get this mad feeling to go away. "I like you, Potter," Adeline gulped. "I fell for you. I was supposed to make you fall for me, but I fell for you, too."
"The task is in four days," Potter spoke through his teeth. "If you think I don't know what you're doing—"
"I'm not trying to distract you, I promise. I mean it. I fancy you."
At first, it was like Potter was going to ask really, as if he was hopeful, but then his face fell and he looked at her in a way that made Adeline flinch. "That's your fault. Deal with it."
"I'm so sorry. I want to make it up to you."
"Truly?"
"Yes."
"Then keep not talking to me. That's what I want. If you do that, then maybe I'll forgive you by the time we graduate. Maybe."
"Potter—"
"Leave me alone. I mean it."
Adeline's face turned red, her chest searing with the failure. "I want the snitch socks back."
Potter crossed his arms. "I burned them."
Adeline gasped. "You arsehole!"
"Me? I'm the arsehole here?"
"Those were nice socks."
"From a bad person. Why would I want to keep them?"
"They're still nice socks, to hell with who gave them to you."
Potter said nothing. He stared back at her.
"Did you figure out the egg," Adeline asked, trying to fill the screaming silence as they both wiped their hands on towels.
"Yeah, it's meant to be thrown at ferrets' sisters who enjoy playing with people's feelings, but I suggested we give it wings and put it in place of the snitch so that maybe next season you'll finally see it and win something."
And Adeline laughed. She actually laughed. No malice attached to it. It was one of pure humor, and the noise she made caused Potter to turn around with wide eyes.
"What are you doing with your face?"
Adeline stopped immediately. "I... I think I'm smiling. I guess... I've never really smiled before. Genuinely. Well, I must've before because then I was told to stop... never mind. I guess I don't know how to do it."
There was something in Potter's eye, something softer than his hard stare, but Adeline couldn't quite read it. Maybe he felt sorry for Adeline.
Yes. And then he'd forgive her!
"You used to smile with me. I guess that was a lie, though."
"It wasn't. A Malfoy doesn't smile."
"What does that even mean? You can't stop someone from smiling."
"Actually... yeah. Yeah, you can. It's what I was taught. Technically, every time I smiled with you, I broke the Malfoy rules."
"Why is it against the rules?"
Adeline swallowed. "Smiling is showing a sign of weakness."
"No, it's not."
"I know that now," Adeline twisted her Malfoy ring and looked to the floor, "because of you. If there was one good thing that came out of this. I've never laughed before at something that wasn't hurtful to someone... like when we played Quidditch or you made those cheesy jokes. It felt really nice." And then she added in a shy, "Thank you."
Potter looked at her but said nothing, and it was like a million eyes were on Adeline. She felt vulnerable and exposed and under Potter's mercy, which was a horrible place to be.
"I'll leave you alone now. Maybe I can make it up to you after graduation?"
"I wouldn't bet on that." Potter's eyes narrowed. "I said maybe I'll forgive you by then. Emphasis on the maybe."
Adeline nodded and left with more hope than she had when she came. Because it was Potter's original intention that they'd never speak again.
And look at that. They just spoke.
~*~
Days later, Adeline, Draco, Blaise, and Pansy climbed into one of the boats that floated the students to the stage in the middle of the Black Lake.
"You look dreadful," Pansy said.
"I didn't get much sleep last night." Adeline stared at the soft waves that hugged the boat as it split the water.
"Still got the Potter disease," Blaise snickered and Draco glared at him.
Adeline's stomach sank just at the mention of his name. She didn't answer.
When they arrived at the platform, she climbed to one of the top decks and gripped the rail with both of her hands. Everyone around them was chatting and filing into the stadium, excited to see Potter and the other champions offered as bait. Adeline stood on her tiptoes so she could see past the second deck and down to the bottom floor where Potter stood, jittery and pacing.
Damn, did his hair look good in the wind—Shut up, Adeline.
"Welcome to the Second Task," Dumbledore announced via his voice enhancement charm. "Last night, something was stolen from each of our champions. A treasure of sorts. These four treasures, one for each champion, now lie on the bottom of the black lake. In order to win, each champion need only find their treasure and return to the surface. Simple enough. Except for this, they will have one hour to do so and one hour only. After that they'll be on their own."
Adeline's stomach twisted.
"How much do you want to put on Potter losing," Blaise asked.
"I bet he wins. Ten galleons," Adeline glanced at them without emotion, and Blaise and Pansy stared at her with wide eyes. "He's Potter. He always wins."
When she looked back down at Potter, he was clutching his chest and heaving. Wait, was Potter choking?
Dumbledore continued. "You may begin at the start of the cannon."
"Someone do something," Adeline shouted, but just as she did, the boom of a cannon signaled the start of the race, and the rest of the Champions dove into the water. Potter, however, remained on the platform. That is, until Moody pushed him. Adeline leant over the rail, reaching for her wand to hex him.
"Adeline," Draco grabbed her. "You're going to fall off."
"He's choking. He's hurt. Moody wants him to drown." Everyone around him shouted and cheered, and Adeline was ready to murder them all for it. Didn't they realize this was dangerous? She had an urge to jump off the platform. But just as she took a step forward, Potter propelled from the water and did a backflip in the air, fins on his feet visible.
Adeline let out a deep breath and wiped her face. Gillyweed. That was clever.
"I see you forgot your calm and collected Malfoy demeanor back in the Common Room, huh? Has your mask finally crumbled?"
Adeline glared at Blaise. And then they waited. It was only supposed to be an hour, but each minute stretched for days, and Adeline's arms were going to be sore from gripping onto the rail so tight.
Everyone chatted in enjoyment, as if no one cared that Potter was down there with mysterious creatures capable of murdering him. "You look like you're going to faint," Pansy bumped her shoulder.
"What if he gets hurt?" Adeline's voice cracked in a whisper.
"Hm?"
"Why the hell would they put him in the Black Lake," Adeline bit, "Do you know what lives there? How dangerous is it? You've seen the Merpeople through the windows in our dorms. They're vicious!"
Pansy and Blaise looked at each other.
"You really care about him, don't you?" Pansy put a hand on Adeline's shoulder, something that Adeline would have pushed away because human touch was weird. It felt like fire on her tingling skin, but it was nothing compared to the blaze in her chest.
Adeline's stomach dropped when the first champion surfaced, and much to her dismay, it wasn't Potter. The same hope fell as each of the contestants and their friends surfaced.
"Did he come up?"
"No," Pansy said. "He's still down there."
The clock chimed as the hour passed.
"Why hasn't he come up?" Adeline darted to Draco as if he had an answer.
"Last place," Blaise cocked his head. "Ten galleons. Boy, do you have a lot of faith in Potter."
Adeline shoved her hand in her pocket and pulled out a stack of galleons and handed them over without breaking sight of the water.
Blaise shuffled through the coins. "Adeline, this is double your bet amount—"
"Any potion or spell he's used won't last this long, and you heard them. He's on his own now! What if he's dying?"
"I dunno."
Weasley and Delacour's sister surfaced. A false hope.
"Why aren't they doing anything? Are they just going to let him drown?"
Then, Potter surfaced, and relief overtook Adeline like a tidal wave.
~*~
Adeline's heart pumped in her ears as she watched Potter and his friends climb out of their boat. They were laughing, as if it was normal, as if they didn't know what it was like not to laugh and they were taking the feeling for granted.
"It's freezing." Granger huddled between Weasley and Potter.
"Psst," Adeline whispered as they passed the tree that Adeline hid behind. "Potter."
Potter looked in the tree-line. "Er..."
"You okay, Harry?" Granger asked. Stupid Mudblood, go away.
But then, Barty Crouch approached him. "Congratulations Potter, fine achievement."
He pulled Potter away from his friends. Adeline could overhear them. "Well done, boy. I'm sorry we haven't spoken. After all, your story is one I've heard many times. Quite remarkable. Tragic of course, to lose one's family. Never whole again, are we?" Barty choked for a moment. "Still, life goes on. And here we stand. I'm sure your parents would be very proud today, Potter."
Would you stop talking, Adeline thought, peeking from behind the tree. But then she saw Moody get off his boat, and Adeline scurried behind other trees.
From afar, Moody snapped, "Bartimus! Not trying to lure Potter into one of the ministry's summer internships, are we? Last boy who went into the Department of Ministries never came out. And they say I'm mad!"
Then silence and Adeline peeked to find Moody walking in the direction of Barty. In the meantime, Potter started on his path, and Adeline panicked.
"Potter, over here!" she called.
Potter turned around. "Tree?"
Adeline pinched the bridge of her nose. "Behind the tree, you idiot."
The curiosity fell from Potter's face, anger replacing it. He turned on his heel, but Adeline grabbed his wrist. "Potter. Please. Hear me out."
Potter rolled his eyes and turned back to her. "Go on."
"Fine, if you don't want to—Wait, what?"
"You said you had something to say. Say it." Potter tugged his towel tighter around him, his face one of agitation.
Adeline swallowed over the lump in her throat. Suddenly, her prepared words weren't enough, and she stuttered, changing the subject. "You did great today. Saving the others. It was admirable. Relentlessly stupid, but... fantastic. Second place is good."
"Is that it?"
"No, er—" Just say it, Adeline. You're blowing it!
"Why are you here?"
Adeline reached into her coat pocket. "I know they're from me, but they're really the best socks for winter."
Potter stared at the new pair for several moments before taking them. "They were really soft."
"I am sorry," Adeline said softly. "I mean that."
Potter stared at the floor for a few moments before he looked up at her. "Do you even like me?"
Adeline bit her lip. Damn it, why was Potter always so blunt with this question? "I-I dunno, if I'm quite honest. I know I like you, though. And I've tried, I really have, to get rid of the stupid feeling I get when I see you. It's only gotten worse. I feel it when I think about you and I can't stop thinking about you, so it's practically all the time. And I thought maybe it was guilt for what I did to you. I thought it was jealousy, too. But... It's not."
"What is it then?"
"I think about your smile a lot. And how excited you look when you play Quidditch." She blinked several times, twisting the Malfoy ring on her finger. "I feel scared when you're scared. Angry when you're angry... Happy when you're happy. And I've never... felt something that someone else had before."
"It's called empathy," Potter jeered. "Am I supposed to feel sorry for you? You did this to yourself."
"Potter, you don't get it. I don't want to like you. It's miserable. I wish with every fiber of my being that it wasn't you. But it is. And I expect nothing from you. I just want you to know that I'm sorry and I really mean that. And I don't want you to get hurt. I'm sorry for what I had to do to realize that."
Potter's face softened to one of satisfaction. "You've really fallen for me, huh?"
"Yeah. I know. I'm pathetic. Do you want me to scream it to the universe, let everyone know that?"
Potter fought back a smile and rocked on his feet. "Is it because I kissed you or is it because you want another?"
"Erg! Why did I talk to you about this—wait, you know what? Yes. Actually, yes. Maybe it's because we did it wrong and if you kiss me now, it'll get it out of my system."
"Really?" Potter crossed his arms, his jaw poking out. "You think I'm going to buy that?"
"Buy what?"
Potter's face fell. "You... really mean...?"
"Yes. Kiss me. Maybe it would set me free from you. Perfect, I'll get over you right now. Finally, a solution."
"I don't think that's how it works."
"Yes, it does. It'll get the Potter right out of my system."
"O-Okay."
They stood there for several seconds, Adeline waiting for Potter to make a move. "You mean right now?"
"Yes, right now!" she snapped.
They stood close to each other. Really close. Harry almost snorted because he just wasn't used to having someone invade his personal space like this.
"Are you going to do it or not?"
Potter's body was solid in front of her, and Adeline could smell him (it wasn't great, mostly sweat and lake water—couldn't she have fallen for some Durmstrang boy who watched on the sidelines and smelled like chocolate all the time?).
She could also feel Potter's breath on her face as Potter searched her eyes.
"Why don't you kiss me since you're so eager?" Potter dug.
Adeline stuttered, and she couldn't come up with an answer. Her eyes fell to Potter's, that was just so distracting. She still remembered the feeling of what it was like the first time. "I'm not eager. I'm just... trying to... fix whatever you did to me..."
"I thought you didn't want to kiss me?" Potter dared in a whisper.
"I do." Adeline whispered back before leaning in, and Potter mirrored her until their lips met.
It wasn't because they were in love with each other, more so they just wanted to get this over with. Be done with each other.
But wait. This felt good. Adeline knew nothing in the world could feel this way. Her heart beat fast, but she didn't want to stop. To keep her balance, Adeline put her hand on Potter's cheek, which surprised Potter. It was cold, but softer than she thought. Then Adeline felt a tug on her waistcoat. Potter wanted to kiss her, too.
And they did, for much longer than either had expected. And Adeline didn't even care that Potter's obnoxious glasses were digging into her face. It just felt like she was floating without a broom.
Potter leant back, their lips disconnecting, much to Adeline's dismay. She didn't know what time it was, or where she was. All she knew was that the most wonderful feeling was in front of her.
"Fix anything?" Potter breathed. Adeline's eyes fluttered open while Potter's remained closed for only a few seconds more.
Adeline searched Potter's face. His cheeks were tinted pink, and she let go of holding it. "What have I done?"
"Worse?"
"So much worse."
Potter smirked, but it turned into a smile, and he glanced at the lake, biting his lip before turning back to Adeline.
"You felt something?" Adeline asked.
"I felt something the first time, too. Yeah, kissing you felt good. That doesn't outweigh what you did."
"Ah, so detention was planned then."
"Revenge," Potter smirked (a smirk that made Adeline proud), "For you hurting me. I needed to crush your ego somehow."
"So... I don't kiss like a dead fish?"
"No," Potter said bashfully. "I hate to admit, you're a really good kisser."
For something Adeline would usually smirk at, she wanted to scream like a little girl. Potter just called her a good kisser. "I'm sorry. I really am."
"I get it."
"I don't think you do. I've never apologized before. Ever. I had to say sorry to that stupid kid because you didn't want me to bully him. And that didn't count. You. You're my first genuine apology. I never thought in my entire life I'd ever apologize to anyone. To you of all people."
"That's not surprising." Wind blew the February air, causing Potter to shiver. His clothes were soaked, and so was his towel.
"You must be freezing."
Potter shook his head, "I'm fine."
But without thinking twice, Adeline unbuttoned her wool waistcoat, Potter's eyes on her. They widened as Adeline held it out for him. "Take it."
But Potter kept gawking at her, so Adeline scoffed and did the only logical thing she could think of; she threw it at him. Potter caught it last second—good thing, because Adeline would have murdered him if he got any dirt on it. That was one of her nicest ones.
"It's girlish..."
"No, it isn't. Besides, you're cold."
"Are you not feeling well?"
"Shut up, Potter."
"Cruel to a crush, aren't you?" Potter said jokingly, putting it around him and hugging it tightly.
Seeing Potter wear it made Adeline's heart flutter, and it was disgusting. Did Potter know how much she spent on it? It wasn't just a trashy jumper like Potter always wore. "Listen. I'm not a Hufflepuff."
"No?! You had me fooled this whole time."
Adeline's jaw poked out. "And I don't love or do whatever you sick Gryffindorks do."
"So now what," Potter asked. "What did you want from me?"
Adeline paused. "Do you have feelings for me?" The answer terrified her.
He hesitated, and Adeline frowned. "I don't know the real you," Potter said. "The character you played... I liked her. But how far off are you from her?"
"I dunno. I really don't."
"Why are you here then, if you don't know anything?"
"I know that being with you made me smile. And I've never smiled before and it felt really good and I want to feel really good. And it's really stupid that I do, because look at the fool I'm making of myself right now. It's pathetic."
"You're asking for a second chance?"
"I'm not that stupid," Adeline said. "You obviously don't want me. Sorry for wasting your time." Adeline prepared to leave, taking a step, but Potter stopped her.
"Convince me why you deserve to have me. If you can do that, then I'll say yes to a real date."
But Adeline stood there, knowing the answer in her core. She paused, sulking in her shiver. And then she said the most sincere thing she ever had, "I can't. I don't. I don't deserve you at all. You deserve so much better than me. I don't deserve to even look in your direction. I don't deserve to be standing next to you, and the fact that you're even aware that I exist is an act of your goodness and your kindness that I don't deserve."
Potter exhaled. "Wow. You got the answer right."
Adeline swallowed and put her head down. "Thanks for your time. I'm sorry. I'll always be sorry."
"I'll see you tomorrow at seven."
"What?"
"I said what I said. And you'd better bring a treacle tart."
"O-Okay." Adeline thought she was going to faint as Potter turned on his heel. He was wearing her coat, and something about that made Adeline stir inside. "You better bring back my coat tomorrow, and I swear if there's a single wrinkle in it, I'll hex you."
Potter hid his smile and tugged it tighter, and Adeline's heart leaped.