"Finally decided to get out of bed, huh?" Y/N asked Seulgi who just came into the kitchen while Y/N was having lunch with Noze and Nayeon.
"Are you okay? You slept for like 14 hours." Nayeon asked in worry.
"What time is it?"
"1 pm." Noze answered.
"I feel like shit." Seulgi sat down at the table.
"Eat something, you'll feel better once you do." Nayeon advised and prepared a plate for Seulgi.
"Do you get now why I wanted you here?" Y/N asked her sister.
"I do." The older girl sighed. "I'll move in here, just like you want me to."
"Do you promise to stop using drugs?"
"I can't promise that, but I'll try my best. You know it's not easy to stop immediately."
"We'll help you out. Don't worry about it." Noze assured.
"As long as you do your best and take care of yourself it's fine. We just want you to be healthy." Y/N informed.
"I know. Sorry for reacting like a dickhead."
"It's okay, unnie. It's what you always do, I got used to it." Y/N chuckled.
"Yah! That's not true." Seulgi looked down in defeat because she knows it's true.
"I have something to do right now so I have to leave. Make sure to take your medicine after you eat. Will you guys be here?" Y/N asked Noze and Nayeon.
"I'll be leaving in an hour. I have a date with Jeongie." Nayeon smiled.
"Disgusting." Y/N stated seriously.
"I have a day off today so I'll be home." Noze informed.
"Great then you can keep an eye on unnie for me, right?"
"Of course I can." Noze agreed.
"Thanks babe, see you later." Y/N pecked the girl's lips and left.
"You like her, don't you?" Nayeon questioned Noze.
"What? We're just fuck buddies nothing else."
"Yeah right. The look in your eyes tell me something different. You clearly like her."
"Well, what if I do? It's not like she'll like me back." Noze sighed.
"Then why are you around her? You're hurting yourself like this." Seulgi knows how her sister is and she knows that Noze has absolutely no chance. It makes her sad to see Noze being in love with Y/N like this knowing that her sister can't love her back.
"I just can't distance myself from her. I was with her 24/7 for the past five years. It's hard to just leave and forget about her."
"I suggest you do. Y/N is a great friend to have but she's not a great person to love. No person that fell for her ended up well." Nayeon stated.
"Yeah, I hate to say this but falling in love with Y/N is the worst thing that can happen to someone. When she started dating Sana I finally thought that there was a chance for her to be in a normal relationship. The more it lasted the more I believed it, but in the end I was wrong." Seulgi sighed.
"You know that she wants Sana right?" Nayeon asked. Everyone can see this.
"I know but I don't get why. She doesn't even love her, why is she so obsessed with her?"
"It's part of her disorder. Sociopaths just love in another way. A not rational way and this is how she does it." Seulgi has seen a sociopath grow up. No one knows it better than she does.
"Will it ever stop?" Noze asked weakly.
"Y/N doesn't stop until she gets what she wants. Whatever she does, she's going to wrap Sana around her finger once again." Nayeon guessed.
"And she'll most probably succeed. Sana is very sensitive when it comes to Y/N and Y/N is very good at manipulating." Seulgi added. "That's why I suggest you to distance yourself from Y/N. You're going to get hurt badly in the end."
"And stop letting her use you as her fake girlfriend just to make Sana jealous. I mean everyone's going to find out that you guys aren't in a relationship." Nayeon said as a matter of fact.
"It's easier said than done..." Noze looked them both in the eyes.
-----------------------------
"Why did you ask me to come here? I'm busy." Y/N asked Chaeyoung when she came to the younger girl's place.
"I need your help."
"With?" Y/N raised her eyebrows.
"Well..."
"I'm not giving you drugs."
"Yah! You know very well that I don't do that shit anymore, I'm completely sober!" Chaeyoung yelled in frustration. She hates to even joke about it.
"What is it then?"
"There's this drug dealer that won't leave me alone because I won't buy drugs from him anymore. He keeps bothering me and Mina and I don't know how to make him stop."
"Just get rid of him." Y/N suggested.
"Unnie, I'm not doing that anymore."
"I know, I know, you started a complete new life, I get it but why are you asking me for help? You know how I handle things like these." Y/N either scares them to death and if that doesn't work, she gets rid of them.
"I just want you to scare him. He knows who you are and he'll definitely stop bothering me once you scare him off."
"Fine. Where do we find this guy?"
"I can call him and tell him to meet with us." Chaeyoung suggested.
"Fine, then do that." Y/N agreed and Chaeyoung called the guy. The two went to an alley where the guy asked them to come to. Of course he did not expect Y/N to come along with Chaeyoung.
"Why is she here?" He asked in a scared tone.
"To teach you a lesson, you son of a bitch." Y/N answered and cornered him against the wall while strangling his neck. "I heard you were bothering one of my people. I thought I told you to stay away from anyone who's close to me."
"I... I didn't... know she was one of your people." He informed with lots of difficulty since he can barely breathe.
"You should have known." Y/N started to laugh and only strangled him harder.
"Unnie, don't fucking kill him." Chaeyoung said from next to her. Yes, she asked Y/N for help but she knows very well that the older girl can go too far sometimes.
"Don't worry he'll be fine."
"You think I'm scared of you? I'm not." He chuckled.
"I know you are. You were fucking trembling when you saw me." Y/N said into his ear. "I ended you once, I can do it again."
"Then do it." He smirked and Y/N kicked him in the stomach. He fell on the ground and Y/N pulled him up again.
"You either leave Chaeyoung and her friends alone or I'll break your head. Understood?"
"Just stop please." He started to plead. This change in attitude and tone happens quite a lot. Especially with this man.
"Will you leave her alone?"
"Y-yes, just let me go!" He yelled and pushed Y/N to the wall. By this action Chaeyoung grabbed him from behind and tackled him on the ground.
"I wanted to do this the soft way but since you're not understanding, we're going to have to do it the hard way." Y/N sighed and Y/N and Chaeyoung started to kick him. After a while they got tired and the guy begged them to stop. He said that he'll stop bothering Chaeyoung and Y/N decided to let him go.
After Y/N let him go and he ran away, Y/N and Chaeyoung started walking back towards their neighbourhood.
"Fuck." Y/N hissed in pain and held her arm.
"What's wrong?"
"I hurt my arm when he pushed me against the wall. There was something there that hurt me badly."
"Let me see." Chaeyoung took Y/N's arm and examined it. "I think it's bruising."
"I'll be fine. I'm going home."
"No, you helped me out so let's go to my place to eat something."
"I'm tired, Chaeyoung-ah." Y/N sighed.
"C'mon just come with me. besides you might be seriously hurt, I don't want to let you go like this."
"Fine." Y/N agreed and the two went to Chaeyoung's place. When they arrived it was clear to Chaeyoung that Y/N was in intense pain.
"You're not okay, are you? Maybe we should let someone check on it." The younger girl suggested.
"I'll show it to Seulgi unnie later on."
"What the hell, how did it bruise so fast?" Chaeyoung asked as she looked at Y/N's arm. It wasn't like this 10 minutes ago.
"Chaeyoung-ah, are you home?" Someone called from the front door.
"I'm here!" Chaeyoung yelled and Sana entered the room not knowing that Y/N is also in it.
"Oh sorry, I didn't know you guys were here." She apologised and was about to leave until she saw Y/N's arm.
"What happened?" She went closer to the girl and examined her arm.
"Nothing just hit it somewhere."
"This doesn't look like a normal bruise." Sana shook her head. "Let me see it. I'm a doctor after all."
"No need because it's nothing. Just a simple bruise."
"I don't think it's a simple bruise. There was nothing 10 minutes ago." Chaeyoung added.
"Just sit down." Sana pushed Y/N lightly towards Chaeyoung's bed and made her sit down. She sat down next to her and began to touch Y/N's arm to see if there's something serious.
"Ah shit, I forgot that I was supposed to pick Mina up from work. I'm going to pick her up and I'll be right back. Don't leave okay? I'll be back before you know it." Chaeyoung informed and left the room to a very awkward silence.
"This doesn't look good, Y/N. Be honest with me, what happened? Did you get into a fight?" Y/N smirked internally seeing how worried Sana is right now. She's enjoying how after all this time, Sana still cares about her.
"Not really."
"Not really?" Sana repeated.
"Someone just pushed me against a wall but there was something sticking out of that wall. I think it was something metal and I hit my arm against it."
"Oh, that explains a bit more why it is this bruised. I think he pushed you very harshly to cause this much damage."
"He did yeah." Y/N looked down.
"I'll put a bandage around it so it'll hurt less."
"There's really no need to."
"You're still as stubborn as five years ago. Just let me take care of you for once." Sana regretted immediately saying the second sentence. She should not have said that.
"Okay." Y/N gave in and Sana took care of Y/N's arm.
"About yesterday..."
"Don't. Please just don't talk about it." Sana cut her off. "Let's just forget about it and act like it didn't happen."
"I'm sorry that I made you uncomfortable."
"You did and please don't do it again." Sana demanded.
"I hate how badly we turned out to be." Y/N admitted. "I know you're thinking that I'm a fucking asshole, which I am, but to be honest with you I never stopped thinking about you. You were always on my mind."
"Why are you telling me this?" What is Y/N trying to do?
"I just wanted to let you know."
"You shouldn't be saying this to me when you have a girlfriend."
"Noze is not my girlfriend." Y/N revealed.
"W-what?"
"I don't know why she said it that day but we're not in a relationship and we never will be." Sana doesn't know why, but she kinda feels... relieved?
"So you didn't cheat last night, I was the only fucking one." Sana was feeling bad for both Noze and Mingyu after her kiss with Y/N yesterday but turns out that Noze and Y/N aren't even dating and that Y/N didn't cheat at all. Only Sana did.
"I was the one that kissed you. You didn't cheat on him especially not since you fucking slapped me afterwards."
"I kissed you back and you know that very well." Sana sighed in frustration. She regrets this so much.
"You did, yes and I believe that you did it because you wanted to. I don't think you would have let someone kiss you other than me." Y/N guessed.
"Let's just not talk about it." Sana would rather ignore what happened.
"Okay if that's what you want. I just want to say that I don't regret kissing you. I missed you so fucking much, you have no idea. It hurts to see you with someone else."
"Cut the bullshit, Y/N. You don't even know what being hurt means." Sana stood up from the bed. Now Y/N is just talking nonsense.
"I know it better than you think I do. I reflected on myself and on my actions in prison a lot. I also received some therapy to understand people's emotions better. It might be a slow progress but the progress is there."
"I'm getting married, Y/N. Please don't ruin it for me."
"I won't. You deserve to be happy." Y/N nodded to herself.
"Noze seems to genuinely like you, you should give her a chance."
"I know but unfortunately I don't like her." Y/N also stood up and approached Sana standing very closely to her. "My heart belongs to someone else." She started to caress Sana's cheek sending shivers down her spine.
"Why are you doing this?" Sana asked weakly. She hates how she can't even push Y/N away, how she can't tell Y/N no.
"Because I know, you and I both want this." Y/N went even closer to Sana, their bodies almost touching. "I know you want me as much as I want you."
"Y/N..."
"Just do with me whatever you want to. I'm all yours, Sana-ssi." Y/N said seductively and before Sana even knew she crashed her lips onto hers. The kiss was intense because both were longing for each other for so long. Y/N wrapped her arms around Sana's waist and deepened the kiss while Sana wrapped her arms around Y/N's neck. She knows this is very wrong yet she can't do anything. She's completely frozen and it feels like she fell under Y/N's spell.
The two continued to kiss and it grew more aggressive the more time passed by. That's until Sana finally got the courage to push the girl away.
"Is this enough evidence that you still want me?"
"I'm getting married no matter what, Y/N. You can't stop me from doing what makes me happy. Mingyu makes me happy. He truly loves me and treats me well. If you think I'm giving him up for you then you're wrong." Sana made it clear to her.
"Who said that I'm trying to take you away from him? You can get married and I won't get in the way. I'm not trying to ruin your marriage or anything, I just want us to have fun until you do get married. I don't want anything else." Y/N lied. She doesn't want Sana to get married to that guy at all and she'll do whatever it takes to stop the wedding.
Sana feels disappointed hearing that from Y/N. In all honesty if Y/N would be honest with her and tell her that she doesn't want Sana to get married, Sana might give everything up for her. Because that's how Sana is. She does love Mingyu, but not the way she loves Y/N. She hates herself for loving a sociopath this much but then again she can't do anything about it. Y/N just needs to say the word and Sana will cancel everything but that's the problem. Y/N will never admit that she doesn't want Sana to get married.
"You're making me cheat on him. How is that not trying to ruin my marriage?"
"Nothing will happen if he doesn't find out." Y/N said as a matter of fact.
"You're unbelievable." Sana shook her head.
"I don't even get what you see in that guy, he's fucking annoying."
"Like I said he loves me and treats me well, something YOU never did."
"Oh really? I never treated you well, huh? I think you forgot how well I was treating you in the beginning." Y/N reminded her ex-girlfriend.
"That was only in the beginning. Only until you literally hired people to seduce me so that I would cheat on you. It makes me sick to my stomach."
"If you didn't cheat back then everything would have been different right now. It's not my fault that you actually gave in to them and now once again you're cheating on your fiancee. You're a fucking cheater. No matter with who you are, you will always cheat." Y/N chuckled and Sana slapped her in the face.
"What did I ever to do you for you to be so cruel to me? The only fucking thing I did was loving you and yet you're like this to me."
"Stop acting like the victim. I might be doing many things wrong, yes. And it's probably because I can't distinguish wrong from right. But you can do that since you're a completely normal person yet you're getting married to someone while you have feelings for someone else. Is that normal, Sana? Is that less than what I did?"
"It's not." The Japanese girl answered truthfully. Sana always told herself that she loves Mingyu but she only realised when Y/N came back that it's not true at all. She still loves Y/N, yet she's still going to get married to Mingyu. Only if Y/N was a normal person than Sana would cancel everything and run away with Y/N. Unfortunately Sana knows that that is the dumbest thing to do because if she does that, she'll mess up her own life. Mingyu really is her only chance at happiness. She's never going to be happy with Y/N.
"Then stop acting like I'm the only asshole here. I'm leaving, I really don't want to have this conversation right now." Y/N informed and walked out of the house. She's really frustrated right now. She expected Sana to give in completely to her but the girl is not doing that. She's still trying to be loyal to Mingyu when she's obviously way past that stage.
Not long later the doorbell rang and Sana went to the front door thinking that it was Chaeyoung, but when she opened it she was met with Y/N once again.
"Can you grab your stuff and come with me?"
"W-what?" Sana furrowed her eyebrows.
"Just come with me. Please." Y/N pleaded. This change in attitude is honestly worrying Sana a lot. Y/N was literally mad 5 minutes ago and now she seems... sad?
"Why the fuck would I do that?"
"I will drag you if you don't."
"Fine, just let me grab my stuff." Sana sighed in defeat. She might have not realised that Y/N doesn't have any emotions while they were dating but something she did realise is that Y/N does not joke. If she tells her that she will drag Sana out of the house then she definitely will.
"I'm out, happy?" Sana questioned.
"Yes, wear this. We're going." Y/N handed her a helmet.
"Why do you think I would get on that thing with you?" Is Sana being too nice to her that she thinks she can just tell Sana what to do?
"Because we obviously need to talk things out and the only way we can do that is if we're okay with one another, which we're obviously not right now. So please come with me so we can at least fix this mess. I hate to fight with you." Y/N looked down and she seems to be genuine so Sana just gave in.
"Where's your car?"
"I sold it."
"Why?" Sana furrowed her eyebrows. She still does not like to get on bikes.
"Because we're not dating anymore." Y/N answered truthfully. She only had bought that car because Sana hated to get on Y/N's bike but now that they're not dating anymore it's of no use to have it.
"You're still sticking to that bullshit that you bought that car for me?"
"It's not bullshit, it's the truth." Y/N answered and got on her bike. "Hop on."
"You owe me a lot for this." Sana sighed and got on. Y/N started the engine and took off. She was driving pretty fast and Sana had no choice but to hold onto the girl tightly. This brings back lots of memories and Sana's heart hurts just thinking of it. She hates everything that happened between them. If only Y/N wasn't a fucking sociopath, then their story might have ended up beautifully.
After Y/N went to prison and Sana found out about her disorder, she dug into the disorder. She wanted to find out everything about it and she even met up with some people that were openly sociopaths. Some of them had lots of similarities with Y/N, others were actually fine. Some of them were even in happy relationships. She even talked to their partners and asked them how it feels like to be with a sociopath. Turns out that not all sociopaths are as bad as Y/N. Y/N seems to be the worst case of a sociopath.
"We're here." Y/N turned off the engine and they both got off.
"Why did you take me here?" Y/N brought her to the rooftop that they always came to back in the day.
"I think we should talk privately that's why."
"You really had the guts to bring me here after telling me that you used to bring here lots of girls to fuck?"
"You were the last girl that I ever brought here to fuck." Y/N admitted. "All the other girls that I brought here were way before we started dating. I might be a sociopath, but I don't cheat and I never will." That's something that Sana finds quite weird. I mean Y/N cannot understand what's wrong and right yet she's obviously a 100% against cheating. She doesn't believe in love so how does that even make sense? "Let's just go upstairs."
And with that the two climbed up to the rooftop. The rooftop doesn't look the same as it did five years ago. Y/N has changed it quite a lot and not for the better. It seems very empty now, almost everything has disappeared except for the couch.
"Where is everything?" The Japanese girl asked.
"Oh euhm, I'm just going to buy new stuff and put it here. I got tired of the old ones." Y/N lied. Truth is she only came to this place once after leaving prison and she hated it because it reminded her so much of Sana. Everything here reminded her of Sana and she started to go insane so she got rid of it.
"I do still have wine though." Y/N smiled and took a bottle from her bag putting it on the small table.
"You came prepared didn't you?"
"No, I always carry a bottle of wine around." Y/N joked which made Sana smile weakly.
"Look I'm sorry for acting like a dick." Y/N said as the two sat down. "I was born a fucking dick and believe me I hate it as well. I hate how I can't understand anything that's going on around me. I guess I never really told you my story and I want to tell you about it if you let me."
"Why?" Sana is wondering why Y/N suddenly wants to open up to her. Why open up five years later?
"Because I feel like I owe it to you. You only know what Seulgi unnie told you about me but she has only seen things from the outside, she doesn't know what went on in my head. So are you willing to listen?"
"Of course, Y/N." Sana nodded and Y/N sighed before starting to talk.
"I don't even know where to start. I've never really told someone about my past but it's a dark one obviously. As a kid I apparently did lots of questionable things. My family started to notice weird things about me when I started going to kindergarten. Teachers couldn't deal with me at all. I attacked them if they wouldn't listen to me, I also hurt other kids so in the end no teacher even wanted me. That's when my family started to act fucked up to me. I mean my parents were already fucked up. My dad was a fucking gambler and my mom was a whore in her free time, don't tell Seulgi unnie this. She doesn't know but I do. I literally witnessed it. She was giving blow jobs to men for money and my dad fucking knew about it. It was sick really. Anyways, I'm not going to tell you how I went to juvie and all because Seulgi unnie already told you that. I want to tell you what was going on in my head." Y/N explained just looking in front of her at the view while Sana was listening very carefully in order to not miss anything. Her questions were unanswered for five years, now it's the time to get an answer for all of them.
"The first time I started to notice that I was different was when my grandmother died. I was very close to her. In fact she was the person I was closest to. She died when I was around 8. I never left her side and she was the person I liked the most in the entire world but then she died. Everyone around me was very sad and they were crying. Yet I didn't feel anything. I wanted to feel what they felt, but I just couldn't. I remember looking at my mom and not understanding how she feels at all. It only worsened on later on. I couldn't understand why someone was happy, why someone was sad, why someone was worried. The only emotion I understood was anger and it was honestly killing me. It was killing me that I was fucking emotionless. I also wanted to have emotions, I wanted to feel what they felt so I started to fake it. I didn't want people to know that I was a fucking sociopath, so I faked my emotions in order to not be suspicious."
"When I got diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, I literally fucking hated myself. Apparently my dad was also a sociopath, I only found that out after we ran away. Why the fuck did a sociopath have kids knowing that his children could also be sociopaths? I fucking hate him for making me born. I fucking hate my parents that they knew about this risk yet they decided to fuck and have children!"
"Did your mom know?" Sana is looking at Y/N with sad eyes. Y/N obviously went through a lot and it's probably not easy at all to live like this. Sana should have looked more to it from Y/N's perspective.
"Yeah and that's what makes me mad. They both fucking knew and what makes me even more mad is that out of four children I'm the only one with this disorder." Y/N sighed. "To be honest with you I'm still having a hard time. When I met you, I finally thought that I maybe had a chance of feeling something other than anger and I did. You actually showed me some emotions that I never had experienced before. You were like the cure to this sick disorder of mine. I didn't feel love, but I did feel happiness and excitement and those were things that I never felt before. So I can't help but to think that maybe it was... love? I don't know I just... I know it's impossible yet when I think of you, love is the first word that comes to my mind." Y/N admitted.
"Did I really make you feel different things?"
"Yeah, that's why I started to date you even though I was a 100% against relationships. I've never met anyone like you Sana. I might not love you, but you are for sure special to me." Y/N looked Sana in the eyes. "Thanks to you I felt some emotions that weren't negative but positive. Even if it was a little bit, you made me feel alive and I fucked it up. Because that's what I always do." Sana feels really bad for Y/N suddenly, she can't even imagine how it would feel like to not have any empathy at all.
"Don't be too hard on yourself, Kang Y/N." Sana caressed her arm.
"I should never have been born. Nothing good came after my birth." Y/N shook her head.
"Hey, don't you talk like that about yourself." The Japanese girl pulled her into a tight hug and caressed her back. "It's not your fault that you were born like this. I'm so sorry, you had to go through all of this."
"Thank you for listening to me." Y/N hugged her back tightly. She missed Sana a lot and she's glad that Sana is back right beside her.
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A/N: I'm sorry it took me long to update :/ I literally moved to whole new city last week and the moving process took lots of my time and I also have exams so I barely had any time at all but I still managed to write this chapter so It might be not as good as the others. Hope you're still enjoying this story! Do you think that Y/N is telling Sana the truth or is this part of her manipulation? Comment down your thoughts and don't forget to vote!