⚠TRIGGER WARNING⚠
Eating Disorder, Minor Self Harm, Harsh Language, Panic/Anxiety Attack
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Wilbur POV
I see Y/n flinch as I finish wiping their arms and wrapping them. I stop for a second to make sure that she was okay and they just nod slightly before I go back to cleaning the broken skin. I didn't really come prepared for this, but luckily there was a first-aid kit in the back that had some bandages and alcohol wipes.
"There we go, that will have to do," I say looking up at Y/n who for the first time since we got home did I see how strong they really must be. "Are you okay to stay here with Niki while I go grab something to eat."
"Okay."
I head inside the McDonalds and I see that everyone has taken over two booths, and I see everyone sitting and laughing except Ranboo who was still waiting to be served so I go stand next to him and wait but before he was served he turned around and looked me dead in the eyes, for only a second with concern behind his eyes before returning to just Ranboo.
"Is Y/n okay," he says quietly.
"Next," the women at the counter says and Ranboo spins around and orders and I follow suit after he has finished and I go stand next to him waiting for out food. "I don't know," I say in response.
"They have been through a lot and I don't want to say everything, but they had a rough upbringing to say the least and they are honestly scaring the shit out of me," I pause for a second realising what I had said and turn to Ranboo.
"They will be okay, I'm sure, they might just need someone and you are doing the best you can. If they ever want someone that isn't old,"he says letting a little laugh out. "They can always talk to me."
"Thanks with, I will definitely keep that in mind."
"Order 47," the person behind the counter says as Ranboo goes up and gets his food before going to sit down with the others.
I stand for a bit longer before my number is called and I head out to see Y/n braiding Nikis hair.
"Wow, that looks good," I say getting into the passenger seat of car.
Y/n POV
I could smell the sent of the food started filling the car making me feel both nauseous and hungry at the same time, and I can do nothing but freeze.
Don't you dare get any ideas. You have had enough for today, you let your nerves show when someone who you can't trust, he now knows what you really are.
A fucked up little kid.
"Y/n?" Wil says in a soft tone, and I feel a hand touch my shoulder and that was enough to send my brain into panic.
In a matter of seconds it was like a my lungs forgot how to breathe, like my heart started running a marathon.
Air.
I need air.
In a fumbled attempt I reach towards the door handle to push it open but my arms couldn't, they did not have enough strength to open it. Wil recognised what was happening and came around and opened the door for me. All I could do was fold in-halve out the door and gag, unsure at to what was going to happen but using what strength I had left to try and not let anything come out.
"Y/n, it's me. You need to focus on your breathing," Wil said calmly giving my hand a squeeze,= while Niki was rubbing soothing circles on my back.
"I'm sorry," I try to get out but it is interrupted by small gasps for air and pauses to let my heart catch up to the rest of my body.
"Shhh, you don't have to talk. Can you tell me what colour the car is?" Wil asks clearly trying to draw my attention away for my mind.
"Dark blue," I mutter still not even sure if anything actually came out or if it was just in my head.
"Great, you are doing good, now what colour in Barnibee?"
"Yellow and black," this time more confident in my answer but still gasping for air in the middle of words.
"You are doing amazing, now what does it feel like?" Wil kept asking these sort of questions until I could make a coherent sentence.
"Can I come out and just get some fresh air?"I ask finally looking up to see Wil who was just kneeling on the concrete outside the car. I could still feel my heart racing in my chest but seeing Wil made me feel so much more guilty. He doesn't deserve to have to deal with me, think about how much more enjoyable if I wasn't here. He wouldn't of had to bandage my arms, he wouldn't of had to sit here with me while I freaked out over something so insignificant, he wouldn't of have to worry about me at all.
"Of course, do you need a hand getting up," he asks with what seemed like an endless amount of patience in his voice. I shake my head slightly, for well knowing as soon as I got up out of this car I would get dizzy but I wanted to do this, I have gotten enough help today then I deserve.
As I slowly get up I can feel my body almost giving way but Wil tried to help stabilize my even though I said I didn't need his help.
"Its okay, take your time, would you like some water, I got some while I was ordering my food in case you got thirsty," Niki says from behind me and when I turn to see her she has the same look on her face that Wil had on his.
Pity
I don't say anything and just keep walking outside the car taking in each and every bit of wind running across my face.
I hear a loud group of people from across the car park and I instinctively turn only to see that everyone was exiting the restaurant and heading towards their respective cars and I see Ranboo walking back over to the car and I flash Wil a scared look.
"Its okay, I can sit in the back with you if you want and he can sit in the front, how does that sound?" Will offers as Niki gets out of the back and comes around to the drivers side where Wil and I were standing and gives one or both of us a reassuring smile, it was unclear as to who it was for and slides into the drivers seat and I sit back down but open the widows a crack to still let some airflow in the car.
"Ranboo, you can hop in the front if that is okay, I will be in the back with Y/n," Wil says and I can see a faint bit of sadness flash across his face before giving Wil a mechanical smile and nodding and getting in the front seat and Wil gets in the seat next to me, and shortly after getting back on the road, I fell asleep in the back. The tiredness of the day finally caught up to me and was consumed in the calmness of sleep, that was until the nightmares started.
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Hello everyone, I hope everyone had a good holidays and good break.
Sorry for the long gap, I was admitted back to a psychiatric facility for the most part of the break where I didn't really have access to the internet.
I hope everyone is doing okay, hope everyone is staying safe in the world right now and being sensible given the circumstances.
As Ranboo once said, It's going to be okay, it always seems it's gonna suck but that is just because that is how the Earth is. Don't beat yourself up too much, as long as you tried your the best.
Daily reminder: Don't be sorry for making mistakes, life didn't come with instructions
You are amazing and the best you can be so I'm really glad you are you.
Remember that your body isn't paper, so don't cut it,
Remember your face isn't a mask, so don't hide it,
Remember that your size isn't a book, so don't judge it,
And most of all, your life isn't a film, so don't end it
You are beautiful just the way you are, don't ever change from who you are for others <3
I am so FUCKING proud of you, everyone reading this. You are doing great, you may not be feeling 100%, but you are giving 100% of what you do have.
I just want to say thank you. You guys, girls and anything in between are absolutly amazing and I love you.
I hope all of you are having a good day/night/ whatever time it is where you are.
Make sure you eat, drink some water, take your meds (if not already) and get some good sleep.
Even if you just try to eat or drink something, that is all that matters, that you tried.
You are AMAZING and never forget that.
Stay safe and remember that you are loved. ❤❤❤