CHAPTER 25
FEELINGS
Iris' POV
"Oh. Use this," utos ni Caylee habang nagaayos siya dito sa loob ng CR ng school.
I raised an eyebrow and stared at the concealer she's trying to give me. Alam niyang hindi ko ugaling magsuot ng make-up dito sa campus. I usually just use powder and liptint.
"Hindi na, thank you na lang---"
"You need it. You look horrible. What's with the dark circles under your eyes? Nagpuyat ka?"
Shet.
Tinanggap ko na ang concealer bago ako tumingin sa salamin. She's right. I look like a mess.
"Nahirapan kasi ako makatulog..."
"Ulit? At bakit?"
Since Saturday, I couldn't get enough sleep. Palaging pumapasok sa isip ko ang mga sinabi ni Dashiell. What he said stayed in my mind up to this day.
To be honest, I wasn't expecting Dash to like me. Kaibigan lang talaga ang turing ko sa kanya pero simula nung umamin siya, na-realize kong may mga pagkakataong iba na rin ang pagtingin ko sa kanya.
"Maybe because of stress," bulong ko na lang habang naga-apply ng concealer sa eyebags ko.
"Uh same! I still can't believe Zin won the Elite game." Sumimangot si Caylee at nag-cross arms. "I mean, he barely did anything useful! Nagpakita lang ng abs, binoto na ng mga tao. How shallow of them." She's been ranting about this since yesterday over the video call.
"Bawi ka na lang next time. Sobrang lapit ng total votes niyong dalawa, sayang nga at hindi ka nanalo. Here, I'm done. How do I look?"
"Much better but you definitely need to get some good sleep na. Or if you want, you can join me on my beauty sesh this weekend. I have an appointment with my dermatologist."
"Okay, count me in."
Lumabas na kami ng CR at naglakad na habang nagkukwento siya tungkol sa nalalapit na social event.
Malapit na ako sa Engineering Department nang may mapansin ako.
"Is it just me or everyone's looking at you?" Halos lahat ng mga estudyanteng nakakasalubong namin ay nagbubulungan at tumitingin sa gawi namin.
"Not me but you," natatawang bulong ni Caylee.
"Huh? Bakit? Wala naman akong ginagawa ah."
"Have you forgotten what happened on Dashiell's birthday? Nung hinawakan niya ang kamay mo at hinila ka papasok ng bahay? People automatically speculated that you guys are dating. Iba kaya kayo magtinginan, nakakakilig!"
I bit my lower lip and looked down so that my hair could act as a curtain, hiding my face from all the judgmental eyes.
"Siya ba 'yon? 'Yung babae sa video?"
"Oo siya nga! Maganda naman pala."
"Girl, ang puti. Parang papel."
"No wonder captain likes her. She's a Goddess."
"Kay Charmaine pa rin ako noh! Mas maganda 'yon."
"True. That Iris girl is too shy. Ngayon ko nga lang narinig ang pangalan niyan."
"Unlike Charmaine na social butterfly at kilala ng karamihan."
"Ano bang nakita ni Cap diyan bukod sa maganda?"
"Hater niyo! She's wealthy like Dashiell kaya mas bagay sila."
"And her parents own Sweets from Leona. Yung sikat na bakery shop."
"Omg! Talaga ba? Mas belong nga sila sa isa't-isa."
"Tropa pa 'yan nila Kiel kaya umayos kayo."
I rolled my eyes and did my best not to run away.
Ayoko talaga na ako ang center of attention. Para akong masusuka.
I'd rather have my friends be the talk of town instead of me.
"So, when are you gonna tell me you guys are seeing each other? Grabe ha, ako ang nagpakilala sa inyo sa isa't-isa pero hindi mo man lang naisip ikwento sa'kin 'yan."
"We're not seeing each other..."
"Whatever."
"Seryoso nga. He's not my boyfriend."
"You mean, not yet?" Caylee smirked. "Tell me the truth, ano ng status niyo? And you can't say you're just friends because I'm not blind. There's definitely going on between the two of you."
Namula ang mga pisngi ko.
This is Caylee. I can't lie to her. Even if I try, she'd know.
"Dash told me he has feelings for me but it's not like we're officially going out. May hindi pa nga namin uli napapagusapan 'yung mga sinabi niya nung birthday niya. Kinamusta niya lang ako kahapon pero 'yun lang. We didn't talk about us..."
"Oh my gosh! He confessed?"
"Sshhh! Baka may makarinig sa'yo!"
She smiled widely. "And do you like him?"
"I'm not sure..."
Dashiell makes my heart beat faster. He makes me smile and he's definitely my type but I want to be certain of my feelings before we take a step forward.
Masyado akong naging mabilis noon kaya nasaktan ako ng sobra. This time, I want to take things a little slower.
"Speaking of the devil." I followed Caylee's gaze and was surprised to see Dash walking towards us.
He looks so fine wearing his varsity jacket and red cap in reverse.
"Maiwan ko na kayong lovebirds. See yah!" She highfived Dash before storming out.
"Hi, good morning!"
"Hey." I looked around and saw multiple students starting to take pictures of us.
Bakit nilapitan ako ni Dash? Can he not see the crowd?
"I sent you a message this morning but you didn't reply. Everything good?"
I didn't mean to ignore him. It's just that I was so confused on how to react that I decided to just get back to him later. Hindi ko inaakalang magkikita kami ngayong umaga. I thought I still had several hours before I'd see him.
"Yeah s-sorry, nalimutan kong mag-reply. W-what's up?"
Something must be on my face right now because he's definitely trying his best not to laugh.
"Why? May dumi ba?" tanong ko habang hinahawakan ang mukha ko. Hindi kaya napasobra ang concealer na ginamit ko? Shocks!
"No, it's just that you seemed very tense right now."
Natawa siya kaya unti-onti akong napangiti. His laugh is contagious.
"Hindi mo ba napapansin? Lahat ng mga tao, pinagmamasdan tayo ngayon..."
"Ah yes. Apparently someone posted online the things that happened at the party. They're saying we're together."
He seems so cool with the idea of it.
"Hindi ba dapat iwasan muna natin isa't-isa? Baka kung anong maisip nila e."
"Sus. Hayaan mo sila. Totoo namang liligawan kita, 'di ba? Unless it bothers you?"
I stared at him as his words rang into my ears loudly.
He'll court me? So he's serious? A part of me thought he was only drunk that night...
"Do I make you feel uncomfortable?" He worriedly asked, leaning into me so he can see my eyes clearly.
I was going to take a step back but I stopped myself. Tinitigan ko siya pabalik at ngumiti ng kaunti. "Not really," I admitted. I feel a little nervous but there's something in his presence that makes me feel good.
"Great." Tumayo na siya ng maayos at ngumiti pabalik sa akin. "Can I ask you out then? May training ako mamayang hapon kaya hindi ako pwede ng dinner pero kung papayag ka, pwede ba tayong mag-lunch together? Gusto ko talagang makasama ka kahit saglit lang."
My cheeks burned at his honesty.
"Uhmmm, sure." I smiled to myself. It's been a while since I acknowledged someone's intention into seeing me romantically. Nakakapanibago pero nakaka-excite din.
I'm not sure where this is going but it's not like I have reasons to say no to Dash. We're both single and young. Walang masama kung lumabas kami.
As for David, it's been more than a year since I longed for him. I truly believe that I no longer have feelings for that guy.
Dashiell's POV
"What's with the look?" tanong ni Royce sa akin habang hinihintay namin ang next subject teacher namin.
"Huh?"
"You look crazy, smiling like an idiot while looking outside," pangaasar niya.
Huminga ako ng malalim bago ako humarap sa kanya. "Tol, magagalit ka ba kapag sinabi ko sa'yong liligawan ko si Iris? I know you guys have a little history together. You courted her first and I was the bridge."
Natigil si Royce sa dire-diretso kong pananalita.
"Kung magagalit ka, wala naman akong pakielam. Liligawan ko pa rin siya. I just thought you should know before you hear it from someone else."
Royce frowned at me while I sighed.
"She's an amazing girl and I'm going to do my best to get her. Hindi ko hahayaang mapunta siya sa iba. I like her a lot."
Bigla siyang humalakhak at binato pa ako ng notebook, na nasalo ko naman.
"Dami mong sinabi, g*go! HAHAHAHA!"
"So you're not mad?"
"Of course not! HAHAHA. Sinabi ko na nga sa'yo Cap na matagal na 'yung amin ni Iris. Nanligaw ako pero bad timing e, at natanggap ko na 'yon. Hindi mo na kailangang magpaalam sa akin dahil hindi naman naging kami. Ilang beses ko na bang sinabi sa'yo 'to?"
Natawa na rin ako. "Naninigurado lang. Atleast malinaw ang lahat."
"Ibang klase ka rin noh? You're really a decent guy. Biro mo, in-inform mo pa ako incase may feelings pa rin ako kay Ms. Ganda. I appreciate that, Cap."
I nodded. "I just don't want any complications."
Iris and I have been through a lot before. Now as I try to enter her life, I want things to run smoothly. I want her to be the happiest girl ever. I want her to always laugh and be at ease. Ayoko nang makita siyang umiiyak at nahihirapan.
Kaya ngayon pa lang, kahit hindi pa kami nagsisimula, sisiguraduhin ko nang wala siyang magiging problema.
Iris' POV
"How was your morning?" tanong ni Dash habang napili kami ng makakain sa menu. He brought me to a restaurant near the campus. I think isang beses pa lang ako nakakain dito and that was years before. Ang laki na ng pinagbago ng lugar. Mukhang na-renovate ito nito lang.
"Same as usual. And you?"
"Horrible. Wala akong naintindihan sa mga lessons kanina pero mabuti na lang nakapasa ako sa quiz," natatawang pagkuwento niya. "Royce failed. I'm sure coach will get mad at him later."
Ngumiti lang ako at sinabi na sa kanya ang order ko. After the waitress left, his focus went back to mine again.
"So what are your plans this afternoon?"
"I'll probably just hang out with my friends at The Grove till five then go straight home. Wala naman akong gana lumabas at napakaraming assignments."
"And tomorrow?"
"Baka ganun lang din ulit. Why?"
He folded his arms on the table and smiled at me. "I should be free tomorrow afternoon. How about another date?"
The corners of my lips slowly turn upwards. "Niyayaya mo na ako agad, hindi pa nga tapos ang lunch date natin."
He grinned and bit his lower lip. "Masisisi mo ba ako kung gusto ko lang naman makasama ang napakagandang binibini na nasa harapan ko?"
"Who would have thought that Dashiell Lewis can be sweet talker..."
He chuckled, took off his cap and ran a hand through his hair. "It's actually Dashiell Aleckzander Lewis."
"May second name ka pala?"
"Yeah but I don't tell people about it. Masyado kasing mabango pakinggan ang Aleckzander."
I frowned. "I like it though."
Tinitigan niya ako. "Talaga?"
"It's unique."
Parang natuwa naman siya sa sinabi ko dahil halata iyon sa kanyang mukha.
"Unique din ang second name mo. Iris Fleur suits you."
"Sa totoo lang, nahirapan daw ang parents ko magisip ng second name ko dahil kay ate. Her name's Irene Frey. They wanted me to have IF initials too."
"Parang parents ko lang din pala. My brother's initial is also the same as mine, DA as in Damian Alejandro."
"Didn't know we have a lot in common."
"I think it's meant to be."
"You gotta stop with being so cheesy. Napapadalas na." Nagtawanan kaming dalawa at kumain na rin ng lunch nang dumating na ang mga pagkain namin.
After that day, it became a routine for the two of us to eat lunch together. We'd go to several restaurants near school or stay at his car eating takeouts. We'd spend an hour just talking about different things.
Then he'd drive me back to Larkyn Camber University. Palagi niya rin akong inihahatid sa harapan ng classroom ko kaya naman mas lalo kaming pinaguusapan ng mga tao, not only at campus but also by our fans worldwide. Nakakarating na kasi sa kanila ang mga balita na nagde-date kami ni Dash.
Hindi ko naman siya mapigilan dahil ayoko ring mawalay agad sa kanya. Masaya akong kakuwentuhan siya. I lost tract of the time when I'm with him.
"Sige ah. I-send niyo na lang sa email ko ang mga research niyo para ma-compile ko at maipasa na natin ang project kay Ma'am bukas."
"Okay Iris. Nasa labas na pala si Dash, hinihintay ka."
"Yieeee sinusundo!"
"Bagay talaga kayo! As in!"
Agad kong inayos ang bag ko at nagmadaling lumabas ng classroom. Nagkasalubong ang mga kilay ko nang makita ko si Dash na nakasandal sa may railings, nagsa-soundtrip. When he saw me, he took off his earphones and waved at me.
"Bakit nandito ka? Akala ko may training ka?" We don't see each other in the afternoon. Madalas ay tuwing lunch time lang kami nagkakasama.
"Ouch. Akala ko matutuwa kang makita ako." Bigla niyang kinuha ang bag ko kaya nagulat ako. This is a first.
"Huy, anong ginagawa mo?"
"Carrying this for you. Tara." Naglakad na siya kaya naman agad akong humabol.
"You didn't answer my question. Why are you here?"
"Sumaglit lang ako pero babalik na rin ako sa gym. Gusto lang kita makita bago ka umuwi."
I was speechless. Kahit na napapadalas ang paglabas namin ay nakakapanibago pa rin talaga ang mga galaw at pananalita niya.
I still can't believe Dash likes me. Bakit? Anong nakita niya sa akin? I mean, he's the captain of the soccer team. Kilalang kilala na siya ng mga tao, hindi katulad ko na palaging nasa shadow lang ng mga kaibigan ko. Sure, I have my own group of followers but I'm not really that famous compared to my friends.
"Dadaan pa ba tayo sa locker mo?"
"Ah oo."
"Mabigat ba 'yan? Amin na." Kinuha niya pa ang librong hawak hawak ko kahit na ang bag ko ay buhat niya na rin.
"Okay lang talaga Dash---"
"I want to." He smiled and urged for me to walk again.
As we headed to the stairs, I could feel every student's eyes on me. Even Dashiell's.
"Can I ask a question?" mahinang tanong ko.
"Of course."
"Why..." I looked at my hands and took a deep breath. "Why do you like me?"
Sobrang naku-curious lang kasi ako kung anong nagbago at bigla niyang naisip ligawan ako.
"I like you because you're you. You're Iris."
I took a peep at Dash. He licked his lower lip and bit it for a second, as if he's trying his best not to grin.
"I like how you're always shy. I like how you're quiet, how you don't usually meddle into things. I like it when you look at me with that angelic face of yours. Even that signature ribbon on your hair makes me smile. I basically like everything about you."
I tried my best not to blush but failed. He's so bold and straightforward. Parang napakadali para sa kanya i-express ang feelings niya.
Not knowing how to react, I kept my mouth shut until we reached the locker area. Dashiell patiently waited for me, his eyes watching me.
"You're wearing my gift again..."
I touched the ribbon on my hair. "Talaga ba? Hindi ko napansin. I just grabbed whichever I first saw from my closet."
Dash pouted and playfully acted as if he got shot in the heart. "And here I thought it's because you were thinking of me."
I giggled. "Oh sorry na."
Tumawa siya at umayos na rin ng tayo.
"I believe I can't walk you to The Grove," he huffed while looking at his watch.
Medyo nalungkot ako ng kaunti dahil akala ko may oras pa upang makapagusap kami. "Ganun ba? Okay lang. Sige na, baka mapagalitan ka pa kapag na-late ka."
"Hmmm." I watched as he put his hands inside the pocket of his jeans, and then he leaned into me. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko ngunit mabuti ay ginilid niya ang mukha niya.
"Don't act so unbothered, it hurts me," He whispered on my ear.
I could feel his hot breath over my skin. He's too close, painfully close.
Tumingin na siya sa mukha ko at ngumisi. "Call you later?"
Dahan-dahan akong tumango habang tinititigan niya ang mga mata ko. His gaze went from my eyes down to my lips, lingering in there for a moment before he closed his eyes.
Dashiell seemed to be controlling himself from doing something.
"What is it?" I can't help but ask.
He opened his dark eyes, full of desire. "I can't tell you."
Para yata akong mauubusan ng hiningi sa bawat segundong magkalapit kami ni Dashiell.
I am utterly dumbfounded at his intense stare.
"Otherwise, I might do it here with you."
He's not even touching me and yet I could feel my insides swirling with passion.
Dash wants to kiss me. That's what he's trying to say.
"Your phone..." I pointed out when I heard it. He looked at the caller and groaned.
"It's coach."
"No. Don't go!" I joked around since he told me not to act so unbothered.
We both laughed and in an instant, the tension between us vanished.
Damian's POV
After two months...
"Tol! Ano ba, sasagutin mo ba 'yang phone call mo o ibabato ko 'yan sa labas ng bintana?" iritableng tanong ni Silva na seryoso sa pagaaral ngayon.
"Ibato mo basta papalitan mo ah."
"Fine."
I was shocked when he stood up and reached for my phone. "HOY JOKE LANG! HAHAHAHA! Alam ko kaya mong bumili ng ilang libong iphone pero nagbibiro lang ako, okay? Easy ka lang!"
"Just get out."
"Fine." Tumakbo na ako palabas ng bahay hawak hawak ang cp ko.
Three missed calls from Nova.
"That's weird."
I immediately called her back but she wasn't answering.
Hindi ko kasi pinapansin ang tawag niya kanina dahil may tinatapos akong report. I thought it was Art who was calling me.
I dialed Nova's number again and thankfully this time, she picked it up.
"Hey. Why'd you call?"
"Nothing. I just want to. He he."
I frowned. "Are you okay? Why do you sound different?"
"I'm fine, stiff."
I haven't heard that nickname in ages.
"Are you drunk, Nova? I swear to God if you are, I'm gonna---"
"Why do you always act like my boyfriend? Get lost! I hate you!"
She suddenly ended the phone call.
Natulala ako at agad tinawagan siya ngunit hindi niya na sinasagot.
Damn it!
I ran back inside and grabbed my car keys. "Dude, I'll be back later."
"Ha? Saan ka pupunta---"
Hindi na ako nagpaliwanag pa. Sumakay na ako ng kotse at chineck ang gps ng phone niya. She's at one of those sorority parties. Art must be near her. Ang alam ko ay nakiki-party ang mokong na 'yon ngayon.
I called Art but his phone's busy. Mukhang naka-airplane mode ang loko para walang mangambala sa kanya.
What the heck is Nova thinking? Bakit siya magpapakalasing? Didn't she know how dangerous it is to party without anyone else looking out for her? Ang sabi niya sa akin ay lalabas lang sila ng mga friends niya.
In less than fifteen minutes, I had already arrived at the place. Maraming bumati sa akin pagpasok ko sa loob pero diretso ang tingin ko sa mga bisita. Nasaan ba 'yung babaeng 'yon?!
"Damian!!! You're here! Do you want to drink---"
"No."
I went at the back and checked every corner of the place but she's nowhere to be found. Tumakbo ako pabalik sa lobby at napansing may pamilyar na babaeng nakaupo sa lap ng isa sa mga varsity guy.
"Nova!" I shouted, making her look up to me. Bago pa man siya makapagsalita ay hinila ko na siya patayo.
The guy stood up as well. "Who the hell are you?"
"Her bestfriend." I took a step forward at him. "Do you have a problem with that?"
"D-damian. I'm sorry. I didn't know she's your girl." Mabuti naman at kilala mo ako.
"Now you do. Don't you ever touch her again."
"I promise!!! I'm sorry!"
Hinila ko na si Nova palabas ng sorority house kahit na nagpupumiglas ito.
"Ang kulit mo ha!" I picked her up and rested her tummy on my shoulder. She tried to kick my stomach but I was fast enough to restrain her legs with my arm.
"Tumigil ka na." Parang batang pinagpapalo ni Nova ang likuran ko. I slapped her ass lightly. Wala namang malisya iyon. Para lang akong nagpapatahimik ng baby.
"Let me go!!!"
"I said stop it. You're pissing me off." Pagkarating sa kotse ko ay ibinaba ko siya sa shotgun seat. Then I strapped her seatbelt on even though she keeps on hitting me.
Pagsakay ko sa driver's seat ay agad kong ni-lock ang pintuan. "Bakit ka naglasing?"
"Why do you care?!"
"I'm your bestfriend! Normal sa'king magalala!"
"Yeah right."
"What does that supposed to mean?"
She didn't say a word so I started driving but within a few minutes, I heard her sobbing.
"What's wrong?" pagpa-panic ko. "Are you hurt?"
Tinigil ko ang kotse sa gilid at iche-check sana siya nang paluin niya ang kamay ko.
"Ano na naman bang ginawa ko at nagkakaganyan ka? You're so moody these past few days."
"Just drive."
"Nova..."
"I said drive." Pinunasan niya ang mga luhang bumabagsak sa mukha niya pagkatapos ay tumingin siya sa labas. She's definitely mad at me for some reason.
"Nova, ano bang problema?"
"Damian, will you just please drive me home? I badly want to get some sleep. Masakit na ang ulo ko."
I sighed. "Fine. If you say so."
Hindi ko na siya pinilit pa magsalita kahit na sobrang nakaka-frustrate na hindi ko malaman kung anong nasa isip niya. Bakit ba siya nagkakaganito? Bakit kung umasta siya ay parang may kasalanan ako sa kanya? Tapos ano, bukas magiging okay na naman siya? This happened last week too. Idadahilan na naman niyang lasing lang siya kaya siya nagalit pero ang totoo, alam kong may pinagdadaanan siya. I just hope she tells me because how will I help if I'm this clueless.
After I dropped her in front of her dormitory building, I walked her into the entrance door. Medyo kalmado na siya kumpara kanina. Mukhang nahimasmasan na.
"About earlier, I'm sorry."
Hinila ko siya at niyakap. "Kung ano man 'yan, lagi mong tatandaan na nandito ako para sa'yo."
Thankfully, Nova hugged me back tightly. That means she's not mad at me anymore.
Ilang minuto din kaming magkayakap hanggang sa tumunog ang phone ko.
"Sige na, pasok ka na sa loob. Goodnight."
Tumalikod na ako at naglakad palayo nang marinig ko siyang bumulong.
"I hate you, Damian. I hate you so much."
*End of Chapter 25*
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Thank you so much for all your healing prayers. I am finally recovering slowly.
Stay safe everyone!