We failed...
We lost him...we lost everyone..
We actually managed to get around the city without being spotted...we first went to Mike's house to find him and Sayori's parents.
What we found there was not what we expected and feared because it was even worse...
His house was blown to bits in a burning pile of ash and debris..Sayori's house being right next to it killed her parents immediately..and Michael..
Through the junk and brunt wood we found another one of those things...it was brunt to a crisp with it's face deformed and lower half missing...stuck under a large block of cement as it tried clawing at me when I approached it...
Sure enough it was a male and with every fibre of my being telling me it's not true...it has him..we couldn't save Mike... But we couldn't let him suffer either. We came to the dreaded decision of ending this torment of his...
•••••••••
2 years later
•••••••••
I couldn't remember which one of us killed him that day, I was so overwhelmed with rage...and drowning in my own tears.
And it only got worse from there..none of our parents were ever found either and mine...they were also confirmed dead by me..
It hurts to even look back to it now because every time I do it just reminds us that we lost...everything...our hope...a member of our group...a friend who we valued more than our parents.
And now we're just empty shells...
Animals forced to survive in a world we once called a good life...everything changed and so did we.
The world wasn't ready to ease up on us so we had to play the way it wanted...
The days turned into months and months into years, we slowly became ruthless savages that found ease in slaughtering those things for our own safety...
The girls...had completely turned from what they used to be...Yuri most of all.
When we went to her house that day she was the only one who went in to check. After an hour she walked out a new person...there was an unnerving fire in her eyes and in her hand was a sword I once saw hung up in her living room...
Ever since that day she became more...aggressive and more responsible... She wouldn't say what happened in there but she said that she's sworn to protect us and would die before breaking that promise.
Natsuki was something else...her whole take the situation was concerning..she would be the one to take unnecessary risks just to get a kill...she developed a new found bloodlust... The girl who was at her breaking point for hitting someone with a chair was now keeping a kill count with blood stains in her fingernails...but her demeanor towards us never changed...she was still caring and considerate and like Yuri prioritizing our well being.
Now...Sayori was honestly the only one of us who hadn't entirely changed which was quite the twist...with this entire apocalyptic scenario and the losses she's experienced I expected her to be the one to be at her tipping point the most out of all of us.. She remained her old positive and...joyful self whenever we needed it...although she was forced to be trained in self defense by the rest of us we couldn't break her spirit and we didn't want to...
Now me...
I truly became what I thought of myself as...a failure...a weak excuse of a leader who was so broken by the events of that day that I couldn't even protect myself...and now I'm pampered by the people who once looked up to me for help...I just feel like dead weight now, no matter how much reassurance they spew at me..I'm-
"Monika!"
I slammed the book shut, and look back at the door to my room.
"Y-yeah?"
"Come on, Yuri wants to talk."
Natsuki said in a rather sweet tone..kind of scary considering it's coming from a girl with a bloody nailed baseball bat...
"I'll be down in a bit...-"
She left the room with a small nod. I get up from the metal desk and throw my journal into its drawer.
Wiping away that one uninvited tear I turn and leave the room, checking my pocket for my knife making sure I didn't toss it away again.
The girls and I found this...cabin a month after the festival..when we gave up on the city we went back to the forest. We found this place buried in leaves an moss deep in the untouched parts of the hill. It was paradise compared to the shit hole we've been through.
It was perfectly secluded and concealed from the world but with survival comes the exploration.. We now had a home but we needed food...we needed to live.
We constructed a boundary of sort around the house and started this routine of two teams going out and making sure we're safe and also go out for supplies in the city...
"Okay...what's going on?"
Yuri and Sayori were at the dinner table who seemed to already be talking about what the problem was.
The yellow light bulb being the only thing that illuminated the room during this night..
Yuri turned to me and leaned back in her chair, her katana placed at the center of the table while Natsuki was off in the small kitchen.
"It's the walkers..."
This...was the name every survivor gave the zombies but things have been different with those things for some time now too..
"What about them...?"
"For some time now they've been...getting closer to the forest."
"What used to be one or two freaks we would drop with ease are now small packs...and they're growing."
Natsuki said as she walked into the room with a few bottles of water.
"And then there's those fucking raiders.."
She slammed the bottles onto the table and let out a frustrated grunt. The raiders she's referring to is something bigger than just random survivors...we've had uhhh a complicated relationship with them..
"They've ran every store on the outskirts dry, gun shops, super markets, groceries...we are in short of options.."
The way Yuri phrases that suggested that she has something in her mind she's finding difficult to express...
"So...we check the far side! They usually don't roam around there and the walkers haven't been a problem for us before..-"
"Monika...we cannot just stay behind the lines and let those ruffians take what's left..-"
"I am not going to let you go out there and start a civil war YURI!"
I slam my hands onto the table which causes Sayori to flinch, Natsuki walked up to her and whispered in her ear.
I point at the poorly drawn map we carved on the table,
"We never checked the houses, there's obviously more to look for, we HAVE enough options!"
Sayori and Natsuki get up and leave the room while Yuri and I just stare at each other with boiling eyes.
"We're cowering in here and letting them do their bidding out there. This house.will.not.last!"
Yuri yelled in my face, referring to this small house we've call in for so long.
"We don't even know what's going on that deep in the city, it's a death wish to try and get curious now!"
"We take priority in ourselves Monika! We need to be ahead of everyone else to ensure WE'RE safe!"
"And get ourselves killed in the process?! Yuri for once please just think about the consequences-"
"FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE ACT LIKE A LEADER!"
"..."
I stepped away from the table..looking off to the side I bite my lower lip and nod in silence to myself before retreating to the stairs.
"Monika...!"
I barge into the bedroom and fall into the only sturdy bed..even for a small house it had enough space for us to share the rooms each.
Sayori and I share this room where we both take turns between the bed and a broken old couch every night.
I pulled out my knife and stabbed it into the wall above the bed and unbuckle my belt before actually slipping into the covers.
Of course I'm crying...I'm always the weakest one in every matter, why would I even react that way? She was right..
I couldn't sleep even if I tried. I just lay there sideways, staring at the desk ahead where one hand gun rested, even though she said the raiders got their hands on everything we're not exactly short on defenses either...
"Raiders..."
This isn't your average group of thugs as I mentioned before, they take a more...professional approach to what they do. These survivors consider themselves helpers, people who search and recruit anyone still alive and offer them shelter, food, water and protection...or as they say they do..everything you'd expect from the good guys.
They call themselves "Ascension" and to spread the knowledge of their existence they have strike teams going around the city constantly. Soldiers with black metal skull masks with an A etched into the forehead.
I've seen them in action before and they truly are no joke, they're highly skilled in weaponry and in combat...we know this because we've come into conflict with them once or twice but never with the intention to kill each other...
But there's one thing in this new world that is bigger than any bag of money you could offer..
Trust...
Something we never had in anyone other than in each other. Ascension may be showing off good deeds but the way the demonstrate it is something we never want to be involved in, we'd dare not trust them or anyone and it's something we all agreed on. But-
I can't shake off this feeling that they're...preparing themselves for something. They already have a great amount of resources so why are they sacking up everything they can get their hands on...?
I heard a knock on the door,
"Moni...?"
A question for another day I guess...
"U-uh yeah...come on in Sayori..~"
The door opened behind me as the light if the hall only brightened the back of my head. I don't look back at her but her shadow created a perfect image that stared into my soul.
"Sorry I took the bed again...I'll move-"
I felt the far left side of the bed sink in which indicated that Sayori sat down.
"I'm not here for that...I'm here for you. This is the 3rd time this week Monika.."
Unfortunately Sayori is a master at pretending to be asleep at times Yuri and I butt heads down stairs..
She hears everything but never confronts any of us about it so today must have been something different for her to jump at the topic now..
"It's nothing...I just need to straighten up..stop whining about everything."
"Monika, you had a reasonable argument there but you backed out...you don't even believe in yourself anymore...you talk less and just stay in the room if not out there. I just want to make sure you're okay."
" 'Anymore' ?"
I say as I sit up from my position and look back at her,
"I never in my life believed in myself..I always knew I was a lost cause-!"
"That's not true!"
"I confirmed it that day when I couldn't bring myself to help you when you needed me!!"
"I didn't want you to worry about me..! I tried to keep you away from my problems because I knew how stressed you already were.."
We stare at each other until I look away with a whip of my hair and my teeth grinding. Now staring off at the floor I hear her speak again..
"We still look up to you...just like Mike did. He always knew how much you cared and even now we kn-"
"Don't you dare use his name as if it's supposed to mean anything..."
My response was rather aggressive as I point my finger back at her face but I couldn't bring myself to look at her again...
"It does mean something! He's the one reason we're still trying!!"
"For what Sayori?! Whatever hope we had died with him that day!"
"AND I WOULD HAVE DIED THEN AND THEIR WITH HIM IF I HADN'T PROMISED HIM!!"
She jumped off the bed and screamed at me with a look of pain in her eyes while I was forced to look back at her in utter shock.
Tears began welling up in her eyes as she began rapidly breathing..
"I promised him before the festival...that I would never try what I did again..because he told me YOU needed me...! He told me that I meant more to everyone than I could ever imagine.."
°°°°°°°
"Sayori...you're the heart of the club. We would be so lost without you and I'm not just saying that... The girls really care for you and so do I..
You're so important to us that...I don't think we'd last a day without you..We need you. There is no happiness in the club because YOU aren't there. I know you can't bring yourself to believe it but believe ME when I say we will always be here for you..and that I'd take your place on that chair if it meant you'd be okay....Please promise me you'll stay with us... Promise me you won't give up no matter what those voices say to you..."
"I....I promise...its still hurting me but...I trust you Mikey..."
°°°°°°°
"..."
"And that's why...that's why it took everything in me not to end myself after him...his words mean EVERYTHING TO ME!"
Both of us were just standing there, staring at each other from our sides of the bed but through her streaming tears she loosened up and suddenly stomped towards me around the bed.
Without another word she latched onto me in a violent hug, her arms wrapped around my neck and her face right next to my ear where her soft sniffling was as clear as day.
"I...I love you guys...and I just can't leave you all in a world like this.."
Her words had an impact greater than someone like me would have taken lightly...I return the hug in defeat as I tightly wrapped my arms around her waist before letting my head drop onto her shoulder...
"I'm sorry...- I'm sorry I can't protect you like they do..."
"I don't need your protection...I need you to smile.."
As much as I didn't want to admit it now, over the years with how much time we've spend together we've developed this sisterhood that has a more literal meaning than we let on..
At the end of the day...these girls are my family and I would die for them or die beside them... Maybe that's why this plan is so important to Yuri...
~~~~~
I guess I poured out all my energy for the day onto her. I woke up this morning to find myself in the bed all tucked in and Sayori peacefully sleeping on the couch.
I got up and stretched a bit as I felt three cracks go up my spine, I know I said the bed was sturdy but it surely isn't comfy.
I strap my belt back on and pull my knife off the wall before going over to Sayori to check on her. It looked as if she was almost smiling in her sleep...just looking at her made me smile as well.
I went over to the only desk in the room and picked up the handgun placed on it.
Never in my life would I have imagined myself being trained in killing others with these things but now...none of us feel anything when slaughtering those monsters..
Natsuki told me this strange idea that I have been thinking about for a few weeks now..
I picked up an empty plastic bottle from the floor and conveniently some duct tape from one of the drawers.
I went to work by connecting the mouth of the bottle to the muzzle and tape around the rim making sure no leaks are present and no air pockets left before tightening the tape over the barrel to finish off..
This...is a makeshift silencer, we learned the hard way that when a gun fires it attracts a lot of unwanted attention. At first we resorted to using pillows for that but it did not work at all..
My eyes slowly guide themselves to the window in front of the desk over the wall it was pushed up against..
I gasp once I actually look outside. Quickly rubbing my hands around my belt trying to feel for my walkie talkie I find it and bring it up to my lips.
"Yuri..come in!"
"..."
"YURI COME IN!"
"I..am not ready to talk about any conflict so early in the m-.."
"Walkers...outside the house!"
"What..!?"
My shouting was sure to wake up Sayori. She isn't the heavy sleeper she used to be, she jumped up from the couch and shook her head trying to wake herself up.
"Monika..?"
"Get down stairs now..!"
We quickly gather what we need which is mainly our gear and rush down the stairs where we find Natsuki staring out the window in the living room with her bat in hand and a worried look..
"This isn't right...there's never this many so close to the house..!"
"But how many?"
Yuri asked as she stormed out of her room and met us in the living room.
"7...maybe 8- they're just roaming around near the fence."
The fence was the boundary we set up to ensure that we don't get surrounded but this matter is still surprising to us because we've never encountered these things so deep in the forest.
"...alright..Sayori, Monika. Check the back and see if there are any more of them. If there are...do not engage what you can't kill. Don't use your firearms.."
Sayori nodded and ran to the back door in the kitchen while I looked back at Natsuki and Yuri prep themselves and exit throughout the front door after nodding to each other.
My concerns grew as I try to slip my gun into its holster on my leg but since I just attached a bottle on it, it wouldn't fit. I was in a rush so I left it on the table and ran back to Sayori.
She was slowly opening the door with a hammer in hand and spiked knuckles she made herself slipped onto her hands.
"There's only one..." She says as I pull my knife out and stack up behind her, looking over her shoulder I watch her take an empty soda can from the counter and toss it outside at the opposite side of where the Walker was.
It groaned and began clumsy walking towards the source of the sound.
"It's a regular one.."
This was a test we do to confirm what kind of zombie it is...yes they come in all shapes and sizes but the ones we've encountered so far are just slow walking and easy to kill but in some cases there are ones that can be loud, more energetic, violent and can actually run...
This was not one of them...
"Let's just get this done and get back to the rest...I don't like leaving them out there right now.."
I said as I tap Sayori on the shoulder as a signal to move and she did, slowly opening the door as it makes a loud creak causing the walker to turn to us and limp towards us.
Sayori stepped out and charged at the creature, with a swing of her hand she smashed the metal blunt into its skull making it fall to the floor and soon she delivered a violent stomp to it's head to confirm the kill..
The most effective way to kill these things...aim for the head but for better confirmation, chop it off completely.
"Alright...let's ge- AAHHH-!"
Suddenly before my eyes Sayori fell face first onto the ground and was hidden from me in the tall grass.
"SAYORI!?" I rush out of the house.
I find her being dragged across the ground by another one with its lower half missing.
She couldn't reach it in any way to pry it off as it snarled and jabbed at her feet that it had grabbed. Immediately I drove my knife through the top of its head.
As it goes limp I drag Sayori out of its grip and soon she jumped onto her feet, out of breath and terrified because of this unexpected attack.
The grass was tall enough to conceal the thing which meant there could be even more here that Yuri and Natsuki didn't see!
"We need to go, now!"
I say as Sayori nods while panting and we rush back into the house, running through the kitchen and through the living room I grabbed my gun along the way and we burst out the door.
Yuri was easily dicing all of them with her blade driving through them like butter but...she was outside the boundary and Natsuki was no where to be seen.
What was left of 8 walkers was dropped down to one that Yuri hacked her blade into before she turned to us and we faced her with worried looks.
"Yuri where's Nat..?!"
She began frantically looking around herself,
"S-she was just over at the gate...I told her to stay behind the fence..we-!"
The area here was more open with shorter grown grass so we didn't have to worry about those crawling ones grabbing at our legs...so then what happened?!?
"Natsuki!?" Sayori began yelling out as we were already looking around.
We hopped over the barbed fence with the assumption that she went out anyways.
"Natsuki..?! Come on! g
Get back to the house...!" We kept on calling out to her completely ignoring our own rule to keep quiet.
"Guys! Over here...!!"
We heard her voice that sounded like it was quite a distance from us but we took whatever response we could and began running to the source.
"Where..?! Keep talking to us Nat!"
We knew it was best that we stick together while on this search, along the way we found more walkers that we did our best to avoid but it was getting hard to dodge them through the trees.
"Come on! I'm at the edge..!"
Natsuki was closer to us now and once we reached an opening we quite literally breathe a sigh of relief when we found her.
She was standing at the edge of a short cliff..the one where we ran to the first time this whole thing went down.
Her hands and her weapon were both stained with blood and when we approached her we turned our attention to see what she was looking at.
"This...wasn't here before..."
At the foot of the small hill there was...a large black shipping container.
"What is that?" Sayori said as we walked around the edge and slide down to the point of interest...
We reached this large container and saw that the front was wide open, Yuri stopped us from going any further and sneaked closer to check inside the opening.
"Ngh- Ugh...what is that foul smell..!?"
Her voice echoed in the container meaning that it was empty. The rest of us soon follow up and while Sayori and Natsuki also head inside I walk around the giant thing and notice a strange logo on its side.
"..Nexus..?"
That was the name written below the large white diamond that represented the logo...
What is this thing for? We check around the forest almost every day and know it like the back of our hands and this was definitely never here.
"Monika! Check this out!"
Sayori called out to me as she leaned out from the entrance of the container and as I move over I slide my hand against the metal.
When I entered the large box I immediately felt a gag reflex and slapped my hand onto my mouth to block out the terrible stench.
"Good...God..-!"
I looked around the inside with the girls there and I saw the walls painted with claw marks and bloody hand prints.. Followed by messy footprints that lead out of the container..
"What the hell is this...?"
"From what I have gathered with this...I feel that those walkers just appearing near the house wasn't just a natural happening.."
Yuri said as she slid her sword back into its sheath at her hip.
"So...what? You're saying someone dropped this thing here like a delivery package and unleashed those walkers on us?!"
Natsuki exclaimed as the rest of us continued to scan the area in hopes to find anything else of importance.
"We've grown to learn that not many things make sense Natsuki...but this is just a speculation that makes the most sense right now..."
"Should we get back to the house...?" Sayori said.
"We should but this raises another problem for us...we'll discuss it once we've cleared what's left of them here."
Yuri said as we all walked out and head back up the edge. Checking our equipment one last time before we head into another blood bath in the woods ahead.
A Few hours later
"Did you have to take your time with every single one Natsuki?"
"What?! They were still moving!"
"Yeah because you kept avoiding their heads on purpose! You smell horrible!"
Natsuki and Sayori went on with their arguments as we head back to the house, we were all completely worn out and covered with all manners of impurities but surly.. No bites..
Once we stepped inside the house we recalled that we didn't lock up behind us. So to be safe Yuri went around the house making sure nothing was out of place or if any unwanted guest was staying over.
"We are clear. But don't leave yet...we need to talk.."
As Yuri said that we all gathered up in the living room surrounding the small coffee table.
"Whatever or...whoever led those walkers to us is aware of our location. No one else lives on this hill aside us so whatever they wanted to do involved us being gone...This means we're no longer safe in here."
"Wait are we-" Yuri raises her hand to stop Sayori from speaking any further.
"I am not saying we should leave now...all I'm saying is that we should stay prepared if we're forced to do so. Keep your essentials packed and ready for that time to come, do you understand?"
We looked at each other as if to see what our take was in this situation but in the end Yuri was right, we all return a nod and break off this small meeting.
The girls left the room one by one but then Yuri stopped me by placing my hand on my shoulder, I stopped but I didn't look back at her..
"Yes?" I say sternly.
"Monika...please look at me."
"Why? I'm only ever going to be disappointed in myself."
"Please do not say that..."
"You're everything I should have been, you're better at protecting them. You have nothing else to prove."
"I do what I do to protect ALL of you. I'm not going around acting like a leader just to steal a position from you Monika."
She pushed my shoulder make me turn around and forcefully face her. She placed both her hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes.
"I'm sorry about last night...In truth you were right. I was only following my bloodlust and anger...I've become too used to this world and it's made the worst of me.."
Her hands slipped down from my shoulders.
"But like I said long ago...I've sworn to keep all of you safe because when the world never cared for me...you did. Trust me when I say you are so much more than you say about yourself..."
I wasn't going to start crying again but hearing these words from a once sweet and shy girl was also something that nearly broke my heart. I look up at her and smile to which she returned with a smile of her own.
After that the night went on rather peacefully considering we just obliterated a horde outside our house not too long ago.
We did as planned and packed up whatever we deemed important. Honestly it felt strange to think we've grown a connection to such an old house but it was a place we found refuge in that served us for a good 2 years...
"What'cha got there~?" Sayori asked, peaking over my shoulder she saw my journal in hand as I had slipped it out of the drawer.
"Ah- this um..."
"You managed to keep a dairy for yourself? Hehe~"
"It's a journal..there's a difference."
I say as I get up from the chair and jokingly hit her head with the book. I slide it into the bag along with extra clothes with one being what's left of my uniform.
Call me crazy for still having it around but for the sake of the memories I had to. Plus anything is better than wearing these rags as an excuse to conceal us in the environment.
The next step was to keep our weapons up and ready, whenever we're on some sort of alert we keep our guns close when we sleep but over time we gathered quite a few to the point it feels like we can't carry them all.
Some blades and an assault rifle, kept in our room but there were a few others I can't remember that Yuri stashed in her room. Maybe it was a powerful one or rare weapon but I've never been one to take interest in these things unless my life depended on it.
"So now the bed is mine for the next two days~!"
Sayori said as she happily jumped onto the bed and began waving her legs at me to mock me.
"Heh..~ Yeah, I kinda prefer the couch anyways..."
•••••••••••••••••
•••••••••••••••••