Lou: I have a bad feeling about this.
Debbie: what do you mean?
Lou: the voice in my head tells me this is a bad idea.
Debbie: what voice? I don't hear any.
Lou: don't you ever get that little voice in your head that warns you of something bad going to happen and you'll end up in trouble?
Debbie: no I never heard any.
Lou: okay, that explains your whole life choices.
***
*Debbie while waiting for Lou outside the salon*
Debbie: *texts Tammy* I think I am being kidnapped.
Tammy: what? Where are you?
Debbie: I'm in a car. This strange lady just hopped in and sat in the driver's seat and driving already.
Tammy: oh, wait, where's Lou? Wasn't she with you? Let me call her.
*Tammy calls Lou*
Lou: what's it mama?
Tammy: Debbie's being kidnapped.
Lou: Debbie? What do you mean? She's with me in car.
Lou: *looks at Debbie*
Debbie: *texts Tammy* she is talking to someone on phone and looking at me weirdly. Where's Lou? She hasn't arrived yet
*Tammy reads the message aloud so Lou can hear*
Lou: uh... I'll call you back.
Lou: Debbie, it's me. Stop texting Tammy.
Debbie: back off you... Purple mohawk haired weirdo.
Lou: *realising what was wrong* c'mon, Debbie, my haircut isn't that bad. I am still recognisable.
Debbie: WHO ARE YOU!
***
Debbie: here's your nice hot cup of coffee.
Lou: *drinks a sip* it's cold.
Debbie: nice cup of coffee.
Lou: it tastes horrible.
Debbie: cup of coffee.
Lou: I am pretty sure you ground something else in place of coffee beans.
Debbie: cup.
Lou: wait, this is the bowl I used to feed your cat the other day.
Debbie: Jesus! You are so high maintenance!
***
Constance: you know, onion rings are nothing but vegetable doughnuts.
Debbie: *sighing* uh... Okay.
Constance: A dog doesn't know he is called a dog.
Debbie: okay.
Constance: Lasagna is just spaghetti flavoured cake.
Debbie:
Constance: lobsters are the mermaids for scorpions.
Debbie: *begging* just... Stop.
Lou: no, continue. I want to hear some more.
***
*Debbie planning for new heist without any break*
Lou: truth or dare?
Debbie: I'm planning, Lou. Later.
Lou: you wuss.
Debbie: fuck you. Truth.
Lou: how many hours have you slept this week?
Debbie:
Lou:
Debbie: I choose dare.
Lou: you'll be officially a wuss if you back out.
Debbie: you are a wuss. I won't back out. Dare.
Lou: go to sleep.
Debbie: I don't like this game.
***
*Ocean's team lost in jungle*
Debbie: Why the hell did you give Constance a knife? She is the worst in handling pointy objects. What if she stabs us accidentally!
Lou: she felt unsafe.
Debbie: Now I feel unsafe.
Lou: *pouting* I'm sorry... would you like a knife?
***
Debbie: *unbuttoning the shirt* it's so hot in here.
Lou: Not that I am complaining, but unbuttoning my shirt won't cool you off.
***
Debbie: I do love my team. Trust me. It's just ... Sometimes, I feel like stabbing them all again and again.
***
Debbie: *answering the phone* Hello?
Constance: It's Constance
Debbie: what did she do this time?
Constance: no. It's me Constance.
Debbie: what did you do this time?
***
Lou: *experimentally kisses Debbie's neck*
Debbie: what was that for?
Lou: affection and love.
Debbie: disgusting. Do it again.
***
Lou: We were just...
Debbie: Working.
Lou: Yeah... We were... We were working... Together... Independently... As always
Tammy: oh, so you both always work with no clothes on?
***
Lou: Hey, are you a trash bag?
Daphne: Why? So you can take me out?
Lou: No. You just have the personality of a trash bag. Wanted to confirm it personally.
***
Lou: Water is wet. You know what else is wet?
Debbie: *pink* Oh no, you pervert...
Lou: This spaghetti.
Debbie: *sighing* I'm dating a 40-year-old child.
***
Constance: *trying to solve crossword* Lou, help me here. I need a word for something that's annoying, but also adorable, cute and incredibly beautiful.
Lou: Debbie.
***
Daphne: I wish we had the ability to block people in real life.
Debbie: You can always send a restraining order.
Lou: better one, murder.
***
Daphne: What is something that's annoying but you always love to do?
Lou: Debbie.
***
Constance: what's the opposite of identified?
Lou: unidentified.
Constance: do.
Lou: Undo.
Constance: So, you add un to make it opposite
Lou: depending on the word, it is either un, in, dis, im, ir... Prefixes change.
*Later that night*
Debbie: You aren't experienced enough. You are immature, Constance.
Constance: Take that back. I am un-immature
***
*Constance complains about being in pain after she fell from the stairs and hurt her knees*
Lou: Pain? Really? That's so childish of you.
Constance: it pains. You never experienced any pain?
Lou: Never. Pain is for weak. I never feel pain.
Debbie: *smirking* remember when you fucking cried whole day once because of pain?
Lou: I STEPPED ON A LEGO! IT'S NOT THE SAME!
***
Constance: can you all be quiet? I am thinking here.
Debbie: Don't worry, doing anything for the first time is hard.
***
Lou: You want to know how hardcore I am? See.
*Lou punches a wall*
Debbie:
Lou:
Debbie:
Lou: Don't stand there. Take me to the hospital.
***
Lou: are you cheating?
Debbie: ...yeah
Lou: How could you!
Debbie: It's your fault
Lou: please explain
Debbie: What do you expect me to do? You always win Mario kart. I had to pull some cheats to beat you.
Lou: you are officially banned from playing hereafter.
***
Debbie: It's so boring today. I just want to sleep in this bed and cuddle with you.
Lou: we can do more than cuddling.
Debbie: You mean like... Kissing?
Lou: *throwing Uno cards deck under the bed* yeah, yeah kissing.
***
Constance: wanna hear a joke?
Rose: not really
Constance: pleaseeeeee.
Rose: *sighing* fine.
Constance: Knock knock
Rose: Come in.
Constance:
Rose:
Constance: You are no fun.
***
Tammy: Whatcha doing?
Constance: Fanfiction.
Tammy: about?
Constance: You and Daphne.
Tammy: Wha- Why?
Constance: Daphne asked me to. Also, I'm getting paid for it.
Daphne: I TOLD YOU TO KEEP IT ANONYMOUS IDIOT!
***
*Constance and Nine near the window, looking outside*
Lou: What are you guys doing here?
Nine: WiFi is down. So, we are watching that couple break up there across the streets.
Constance: It's just like TLC.
***
*Lou and Debbie working at Tammy's warehouse for a week in order to help her*
Lou: Oh my god! We are doing it again!
Debbie: What?
Lou: we're doing that thing usually couples do... Wearing same clothes.
Debbie: For the third time this week, Lou we are wearing protective overalls! And everyone is matching here!
***
Lou and Debbie: You are in love with Daphne. I knew it.
Tammy: *Startled* no... I am... N-not.
Debbie: then why do you have T heart D in your diary?
Tammy: and you deduced D is Daphne?
Lou: well, else it should be Debbie
Tammy: no fucking way. This bully is all yours.
Debbie: Then who is this D? Daphne?
Tammy: It stands for Tammy loves danger.
Daphne: *walking in* what's going on?
Debbie and Lou: Tammy just called you danger.
***
Daphne: it's so unsophisticated and stupid to slap a remote if it's not working. Why does anyone do that?
Constance: The question should be why does the remote work after slapping it?
***
*Lou waking up, somewhat sober after having too much of alcohol last night*
Lou: Am I in trouble?
Debbie: take a guess.
Lou: no?
Debbie: take another guess.
***
*Lou returns back after riding a bike, despite having advised not to, and is now facing a very angry Debbie Ocean*
Lou: I can explain.
Debbie: can you?
Lou: if you give me 30 seconds to come up with a lie.
***
*Debbie planned to surprise Lou by cooking*
Lou: So, what's for dinner?
Debbie: *looking at the burnt lasagna* Regret
***
Daphne: I just ended a 10 year long relationship.
Lou: oh that's sad. You okay?
Daphne: yeah I am totally fine. It wasn't my relationship.
***
Tammy: I wasn't sure which chocolate you liked. So... I got them all.
Daphne: there are 200 boxes here.
Tammy: I panicked okay! Valentine's Day can be hard.
***