TW: suicidal actions but nothing explicit
*Edited the ending to place the kids at the festival rather than the mall*
~ Flashback to what happened after Chapter 51~
Jamie walked ahead of Hop in the parking lot in the direction of where Steve was parked. Steve looked up from his phone and saw him trailing behind her.
"What the actual f-", he mouthed to her as she approached the car.
"Hey", Hop called out to her. "I want you to ride with me."
Jamie turned without saying a word and headed toward the blazer instead while Hop adressed Steve.
Jamie got in and sat in the back seat. Hop got in and looked at her through the rear view and decided not to say anything as he started the engine.
Steve trailed behind them on the long ride back to Hawkins. After driving almost 45 minutes in silence, Joyce called which prompted him to turn down the radio.
"Well I didnt think it would bother her too much but you know sometimes feelings are hard, especially during this age", Joyce said.
"Yeah, well", Hop said softly. "She's a piece of shit, and Jai knows that."
"Yeah well we're her family now. I don't how someone can still... love someone after the shit she's put that child through. I mean really, come on? The bitch doesn't care about her own child and I can't even begin to talk about David-"
Jamie punched the headrest of the seat in front of her at Joyce's words. Hop slightly jumped and looked at her through the rear view mirror.
"What was that?", Joyce asked.
When Hop didn't respond, she continued to speak.
"I just could never. I couldn't even imagine doing something like that to my boys let alone my girls. I mean, El, Grace, and the boys- "
Jamie punched the headrest again, then again, and again.
"Hey!", Hop said dividing his focus between the road and her.
Jamie started to rage and started kicking the seat in front of her & throwing whatever she could lay her hands on.
"HEY!", he shouted louder, but then caught himself. "I know you're upset, but you need to calm down. If you want me to pull over-"
All of a sudden, the accelerometer started reaching upwards of 80 and Hop noticed Steve struggling to keep up in the distance.
"Hey! Cut it out! Are you outta your fucking mind?!", he shouted at her.
Jamie continued to push the speed to 90.
"LET GO!", he shouted while pressing the brakes which were useless.
"NO! IT'S NOT FAIR!", she finally responded.
"WHAT ISN'T FAIR?"
"EVERYTHING! ITS FUCKING BULLSHIT!"
As they neared a 45 mph curve pushing 90, Hop did a quick maneuver that caused Jamie to fall over losing her balance and focus. He finally slammed on the brakes, parked on the shoulder, and caught his breath.
After coming to his senses, he quickly got out and pulled her out of the car by her collar and pinned her against the blazer.
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCKS GOTTEN IN TO YOU, BUT IM TWO SECONDS AWAY FROM BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!", he shouted on the side of the road with his finger inches from her face.
In an instant, she pushed him back, reached for his gun, and held it under her chin.
"Woah!", he shouted as he immediately backed off and held his hands up in surrender.
"What are you doing?", he asked calmly.
Tears started streaming down her face as she slowly backed away from him.
"Jamie. What. Are. You. Doing."
"I can't take it anymore! I swear to fucking God I'll end it all right now! I swear to you I'll fucking do it!", she shouted.
Hopper was speechless and feared to make a move.
"Jamie listen to me."
"No I'm not listening to shit you fucking listen to me!My life has been fucking miserable from the start! My mom fucking used me, she let her boyfriend use me, she killed my sister, and I grew up alone and abused! And now I have to watch you try to live your life with your perfect wife and family which I fucked up by trying to find you!"
"What?!", he responded in disbelief.
"Its either me or them", she said as she took the safety off.
Steve finally caught up and pulled onto the shoulder and ran over.
"Woah woah woah what the hell is going on?!"
"I should've done this a long time ago", she said to Steve while cocking the hammer.
"I fucking fought for you EVERY DAY! What makes you think I love you less than any of my other children?! I'm not chosing between any of you are you outta your mind?!
"How come she didn't want me?", she whispered.
Hopper stood there speechless as he had no answer.
After an awkward pause, he attempted to take the gun in a last ditch attempt and managed to switch the safety on as she pulled the trigger.
~Back to reality~
Jamie jumps in her sleep from a loud bang. She quickly looks around in a panic and sees something smothered on the windshield of the blazer.
"God damned bird", Hopper mumbles as he turns on the wipers.
Joyce notices and turns around.
"You ok? Look like you had a bad dream."
Jamie opened the car door which caused the car to jerk forward as Hopper slammed on the brakes and swerved to avoid hitting an oncoming car.
"Woah! What's going on?! Do you need to get out?", Joyce asked.
"I need some air", she responded desperately.
"Woah woah wait let me pull over sheesh", Hop replied.
He quickly pulled over and Jamie hurriedly jumped out. She put her arms on the top of her head and breathed in the cold winter air.
On the verge of her mental breakdown, Hopper quickly realized she was going through a flashback.
"Hey, everything's alright. Tell me whats going around you", he asked softly but firmly.
Jamie took a quick glance at the gun she knew he concealed in his waist band. Hopper noticed and froze in his tracks.
"Its alright. For both of our safety, I'm gonna leave this in the car, alright?", he said passing it over the hood to Joyce.
"Now, tell me whats up? Come on, talk to me."
Jamie started to feel at ease and relaxed her shoulders.
"I just need to get something off my chest", she finally said.
Joyce and Hopper both had a look of concern as she put his gun in the glove box.
"I was talking to Jonathan and I was telling him how...", she started but paused out of fear for sounding stupid.
"It's okay", Hop encouraged her.
"Sarah", she said in air quotes. "Used to show me things, and 9 times out of 10 these things would happen. And... she showed me. Um. She showed me...", she hesitated with tears.
Hop and Joyce made brief eye contact with each other from opposite sides of the car before turning their attention back to Jamie.
"She showed me, shooting the twins & Joyce with your gun and I just knew It would be that day after we left seeing my mom and I locked my self in the bathroom trying to get her to show me again, but I couldn't. I was just so scared on the ride home and I didnt know what to do so I..."
"Turned the gun on yourself", Joyce whispered as she finished her sentence and covered her mouth in shock.
"It was either you or them", Hopper repeated her words that day to himself in realization.
"I would never try to hurt them. Ever.", she finally broke down as both parents hugged her.
"Im sorry I didnt believe you. I should've known sooner", he apologized.
"The festival!!!", Joyce said aloud.
"What?", Hop asked with his arms still wrapped around his daughter.
"They're at the festival!", she said again as everyone quickly jumped back into the car before taking off.