Today would be the day she would summon her great and powerful familiar. Once she summoned it, everyone would stop mocking her, they'd recognize her prowess as a mage, and they'll finally stop calling her a Zero! These were the thoughts of Louise de la Valliere, a young, pink-haired mage who has seemingly no magical talent whatsoever. Although she had hoped for a strong familiar to summon, she would take anything to prove her worth.
Oh how she would be regretting that wish very soon.
"Alright, is that everyone who has summoned?" The teacher, Jean Colbert, asked. A tan, busty girl next to Louise grinned mischievously before raising her hand.
"Oh, Mr. Colbert! Louise here hasn't summoned yet!"
"W-what?! Why you filthy Zerbst..!" Louise cursed under her breath. The red-haired girl only smiled devilishly.
"Thank you, Miss Kirche. Louise, if you would step up?" Colbert gestured towards Louise, who made her way to the front of the class. This immediately got her classmates muttering.
"Tch, there's that Zero again…"
"Better back up, lest we get exploded as well."
"Just give up Zero!"
"Behave, all of you! Show some tact as nobles, children!" Colbert scolded. He sighed before looking at the girl before him. "Now then Louise, just relax and do as you were taught, okay? You'll be able to summon a familiar, I know so." Louise smiled at the one person who ever believed in her abilities.
"T-thank you, professor. Now then… My servant that existed somewhere in this vast universe, my divine, beautiful, wise, powerful servant, heed my call, I wish from the very bottom of my heart and add to my guidance and appear!"
BOOOM!
A large explosion sounded throughout the courtyard, forcing the students to cover their faces from the smoke. Almost immediately, the jeering began.
"Founder Almighty, Zero, are you trying to kill us?!"
"Another failure, just like you!"
"Just go home already! You're nothing but trouble!"
"Silence! I will not tolerate any more of this nonsense!" Colbert shouted at the students, shutting them up. Louise however, was staring dejectedly at the explosion she caused. Another explosion, just as always. Maybe she should go home… Just let herself be married off to some random noble to preserve her family's name and their stand-
"Hjönk!"
"Huh?" The dust cleared, revealing… a pure white goose. It was as basic as they come for geese in general, basic expression and all. But something about the look on its face screamed that it was planning something. What that something was would be for it to know and no one else to find out; unless it was too late of course. "I-Is that a goose?"
Louise's apprehension towards the new arrival quickly morphed into happiness. She summoned a familiar! It actually worked! But… why a goose? Sure it looked pretty but was it majestic like a dragon or manticore? Not really. She then stopped before turning back towards her teacher. She opened her mouth to say something but decided against it.
"Er, Miss Louise? If you would complete the ritual please?" Colbert asked kindly.
"O-Oh, of course…" She turned to face the goose, who was currently stretching out its wings and taking in the change of scenery. "Hello, uh… Goose? I'll find a better name later, but from now on, you'll be my familiar, okay?"
"Hjönk?" It tilted its head at her, not really understanding her words. Louise sighed before pointing her wand at the waterfowl.
"Pentagon of the Five Elemental Powers, grant your blessings upon this creature and bind it as my familiar." She then bent down and kissed the goose on its bill. The goose looked at her curiously before honking in pain. It turned its right wing around and found the source of its pain, which almost instantly subsided. It would seem that some strange markings were engraved onto it. Taking interest in the marks, it flapped its wings, as if showing them off. Louise giggled at the little show her new familiar was giving her before petting it.
"Oh wow, that is golden. A boring old goose for boring old Zero!" A foppish blonde boy called out. Some students laughed alongside him, but the water mages of the crowd looked on thoughtfully, namely one Montmorency. Geese were usually attributed to water due to their affinity to the lakes, so maybe the former Zero had some standing as a Water Mage that couldn't control her magic at the very least. Well, at least she thought a little higher of her than before. Although, that really isn't saying much due to the extremely low bar Louise had in her mind in the first place.
After some harsh exchanges between Louise and her classmates, she and her goose went to her bedroom, where it immediately found solace in the bundle of hay she put aside for a familiar the night before. Louise smiled at her new companion before getting serious.
"Alright, let me explain some ground rules, er… I didn't give you a name yet, did I?"
"Hjönk."
"Right… How about… Anser? How does that sound?"
"Hjönk Hjönk!"
"Glad you like it Anser! What a good…" She picked up the goose and looked at its underside for a second before continuing. "Boy! Now then, onto some ground rules! I am your master and you're my familiar, so I expect you to listen to me when I give you orders, okay?" Anser simply picked at his feathers, prompting a sigh out of Louise. "Right, a goose… Look, just… try to stay out of trouble, okay?" Once those words were spoken, a trigger went off in Anser's mind that made him honk excitedly before settling down in seconds, but if you looked carefully, there was a horrible glint in his eyes that spoke volumes of what he would bring.
Louise shook her head at her goose's antics and changed into her nightgown. She then gave her old clothes to Anser, who surprisingly held them all in his beak. "What a good goose. Now go find a housemaid and ask her to clean those clothes for me. Or, as best as a goose can do."
"Hjönk!"
"How can you… nevermind, look just go get those clothes washed. Afterwards, come back here for bed." Anser nodded as he waddled out the room, clothes in bill. Once out of earshot, Louise sighed. "What an odd goose…"
..............................................................................................................................
Anser made his way through the school with the clothes he was given. Truth be told, he had no idea where he was headed, but that never stopped him before. True, this new place was far different from the village he was accustomed to, but it wouldn't deter him from his goal. This was weird, as his mental To-Do list seemed to be edited slightly when he was branded as a familiar. A new item popped up, one that took priority over all else:
Help Louise in whatever way possible (ends upon death).
Now Anser never really thought about death before, it was never on his mind actually. He preferred living a life full of mischief and chaos, just as he liked it. He found it odd for such an item on his To-Do list but shook it off. It wouldn't do him much worrying about it he supposed. Besides, this was new territory! New places to explore, new items to horde, and most importantly, new people to terrorize! Oh, how fun! Speaking of, here's one now!
A black-haired maid was busy at work, piling laundry into a cart when she spotted Anser. She giggled at the sight of the goose wandering around with clothes in his mouth and gingerly accepted them from him. He honked at her as she went back to work.
"Thank you Mister Goose! I assume Lady Valliere gave you those clothes to wash didn't she?" An affirmative honk made her laugh. "At least she let you know to find a maid to help you. Well then, I must be on my way. Oh, and before I forget, my name is Siesta! A pleasure to meet you Mister Goose!" A happy honk made her smile as she departed.
What a kind lady, it would be a shame if those keys of her went missing, however. A real pity. But before Anser could steal anything from her, an arrogant laugh sound from around the corner. And almost immediately, a new To-Do list item popped up in his head:
First Impressions are important, get some cologne!
Anser moved around the corner and found a foppish blonde boy flirting with a younger brown-haired girl. The goose cared very little for human romance and relationships, as he much rather cause discourse rather than mend it. These two were no exceptions. With stalking skills that could rival a house cat's, he maneuvered his way to an ample hiding spot, close enough to listen to the blonde spout sweet nothings into the brunette's ear.
"Katie, my sweet dear Katie… how I would love nothing more than to-"
"Hjönk!"
"BRIMIR ABOVE!"
"O-Oh my, Lord Guiche, are you alright?"
"I'm fine, thank you. Just got spooked by that noise… huh?"
"What is the matter, Lord Guiche?"
"The present you gave me, it's gone!"
"Eh?!"
And with the swiftness of a cat, Anser was running off, cologne in tow. How despicably easy that was! All he had to do was-
"Hey, there you are! Bring that back!" Guiche cried, catching sight of Anser. It seemed like he accidentally let him catch up. Nothing a little chase can't fix! Anser ran off into the halls with an irate Guiche chasing him down. "Look Goose, you don't understand, Montmorency CANNOT find out about this! Just give that back to me and we'll be golden, okay?" Oho? Someone mustn't see this, should they? What a shame, for him that is.
First Impressions are important, get some cologne! -Done!
Expose the playboy.
How delightfully devilish of him. Anser made a mad dash into the open clearing of the courtyard. Guiche sighed in relief, believing Montmorency to still be asleep at this hour of the night. "Hey, Goose. I don't care what you do with that cologne, just don't show it to Montmorency, okay?" Guiche called out to Anser. He waved off him off before retreating back inside the castle. Well then, guess that solves that problem. But where, or who is this Montmorency person? Time for an adventure! However, a ribbit to his side stopped him.
A frog looked at him inquisitively, to which Anser returned the look. The frog croaked a bit before adjusting itself to sit upright on the lily pad it was on.
"Ribbit."
"Hjönk? Honk honk, hjönk."
"Rib ribbit?"
"Hjönk. Hjönk honk?"
"Rib."
"Hjönk!"
Now that's some good information right there. It would seem that this frog is named Robin, Montmorency's familiar. She described her master as a girl with blonde hair in drills. Very helpful for later. After conversing a bit with her, the newly acquainted familiars said their goodbyes as Anser ventured more into the clearing. Here, he found more familiars roaming around, as they were just too restless as their first night as familiars. From here, Anser made fast friends with a Fire Salamander named Flame, who showed him something grand.
"Sssaah Sah!"
"Hjönk Hjönk Hjönk!"
"Sah sah saah! Ssiisss sah!"
"Hjönk honk honk!"
What a guy! Flame had found a stash burrow, and although it had boring junk in it like discarded vases, such a humble beginning was all Anser needed to start his hoard anew. He placed the cologne he found in the burrow before waddling away, thanking his new friend for the hiding place as he went back to Louise. Flame, however, wanted to walk with him, as his master, Kirche, lived right next door. The two familiars walked back to their respective dorms, talking in whatever language they spoke in gleefully, before saying their goodnights.
"Sah."
"Honk."
With a few taps on the door, the room door opened to reveal a slightly groggy Louise. Around the same time, Kirche opened her room door to let her salamander in. Louise glared at her rival, who smiled at her before they went back inside. Once inside, Louise sat on her bed whilst Anser settled himself on his.
"What took you so long, Anser?"
"Hjönk."
"I'll just assume you got lost and wandered around. I also see you made friends with Zerbst's familiar." Her eye twitched at the name of the other girl before sighing. "Oh well, our rivalry shouldn't concern you two. I don't mind you hanging out with Flame, just try not to get carried by the whims of that Germanian devil, you hear?"
"Honk!"
"Hmph, how quaint, you share my sentiments. Now let's rest up, we have a big day tomorrow."
Little did Louise know, a new item appeared on our favorite goose's To-Do list:
Expose the playboy.
Steal Kirche's wand during her favorite pass time.
If you like this story I suggest going to the original source here
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13491406/1/A-Horrible-Familiar
And if you want more like this I suggest going to the original author of this story Tiamatio's home page here
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/10087625/Tiamatio