ZEKIAH XYRIEL'S POV
"Ms. Knoxville. My deepest condolences to you and your family. Its okay if you'll pass it late, no pressure. I understand your situation."
I lined up my requirements on her table, giving her a convincing look. Siya ang teacher ko sa ICT subject at mas marami ang kailangan kong gawin sa subject niya kaya ngayon ko lang naipasa. Tomorrow's the deadline of all my works yet I passed it today. I'm not having a hard time doing my remaining works these past few days since Shael helped me with it especially in CPPGM. Halos siya na ang nagsagot sa lahat pero sinabi niyang dapat ko raw 'yong matutunan sa susunod. He just did it to save time so that I could do the others.
"It's okay, its already done. Thank you for your concern." I bowed my head a little as a sign of respect before leaving her office.
Thanks to him, I don't have to think for it anymore. Tapos na ako sa lahat nang gawain ko kaya makakapagpahinga na rin ulit ako. I'm just wondering what is he doing right now. Yesterday, I saw him doing his works in a rush. He's multi-tasking to finish it all immediately. Bigla tuloy akong naawa sa kanya dahil tinulungan niya pa rin ako kahit na marami pa siyang dapat na gawin kaysa sa'kin.
I decided to visit him on his building next to ours. It's been a long time since I visited his classroom and it wasn't good. Galit na galit pa ako sa kanya no'n kaya naiinis ako kapag pumupunta ako ro'n. But now everything has changed. Hindi ko nga aakalaing magiging malapit kami sa isa't isa.
"Where's Shael? Is he inside?" I asked the girl that I encountered when I was about to take a peek inside.
She was stiffened for a while and it took minutes before she came back to her senses. Umatras pa siya nang konti para dumistansya sa'kin at lumingon sa gilid niya para hanapin si Shael.
"H-He's not here. Lumabas siya kanina dala ang mga paperworks niya at hindi pa siya bumabalik," sagot niya na may halong pamginginig sa boses niya.
Is she scared of me? Siguro kase hindi naman ako ganito na nag-aapproach sa iba. They might think that I'm getting weird.
"Zeriel. Nandito ka pala. Hinahanap mo si Shael?" Rynier suddenly appeared from inside the room.
I nodded and looked away."Alam mo ba kung nasa'n siya? I want to talk to him."
"Busy siya kaya hindi namin siya kasama. He has to do all of his requirements for our finals. Marami naman siyang oras pero hindi namin alam kung bakit hanggang ngayon hindi niya pa tapos lahat 'yon." One of his friends stood at his back, looking at me straight to the eye.
"Miko! Gago ka ba?! Baka mapatay ka ni Shael kapag nalaman niyang sinabi mo 'yan sa kanya." The other one interrupted, stopping him from blaming me.
He raised his eyebrow at him."Bakit mo'ko pinipigilan, Miles? 'Di ba totoo naman?"
Alam ko namang sinisisi ako ng isa nilang kasama. As far as I know, he's the sex addict in their circle of friends. Mas malala pa siya kumpara kay Shael dahil sinisira niya ang dignidad naming mga babae. He's a fucking asshole!
"Si Shael ang hinahanap ko. I don't want to waste my time talking to a useless guy," walang emosyon kong sagot na ikinatigil nila.
Rynier blocked the way so that I couldn't throw that Miko a death glare."He's in the library. You can go and see him. Pasensya na sa isa naming kaibigan, ganito lang talaga siya."
"Wala naman akong pakialam kung ganyan siya. Basta hindi lang siya sumasali sa usapan kapag hindi naman siya ang tinatanong." I rolled my eyes heavenwards before walking away.
Kahit na naiinis ako sa sinabi no'ng kaibigan niya, hindi ko pa rin mapigilang isipin na ako ang dahilan kung bakit tambak-tambak na ang mga gawain niya. He helped me first and didn't bother to worry about his own obligation. Sinabi niya pang kaya niya lahat at naniniwala naman ako ro'n. He might finish all of it but it's already too late. May minus na siya panigurado.
Bwisit! Bakit ba kase kailangan niya pang ipagpaliban ang paggawa no'n para lang matulungan ako. I might get higher grades but all of it isn't from my own hardwork. Kasama ko siyang gumawa no'n kaya may pagka-unfair din. He will get lower grades than before while I'll get the opposite and its because of him.
Sumilip ako sa library para tingnan kung may iba pang nandito. There were few students reading a book in all corners of the library. Hinanap ng mata ko si Shael pero hindi ko naman siya makita. I need to search for him immediately so I get inside and pretended that I'm searching for a book in the shelves. Umikot-ikot ako sa likuran ng mga shelves hanggang sa makarating ako sa pinaka-likuran. There were a lot of books in the shelves but its not the reason why I'm here.
Nang paatras na sana ako ay bigla kong naitulak ang isang libro kaya nahulog ito sa sahig do'n sa likod. I covered my mouth with my hands when I saw Shael studying there and the book fell on his head. It probably hit him that hard.
Bakit naman kase siya nand'yan? Medyo tago ang lugar at masikip din. How could he do his works in there?
"Sinong nand'yan? Ang sakit ng ulo ko, ha. Tangina."
Napangiwi naman ako at dahan-dahang naglakad sa kaliwang bahagi ng shelves. I didn't make any noise so that he wouldn't notice me. Ayokong makipaglaro ng tagu-taguan sa kanya pero parang kinkabahan ako sa gagawin niya.
"Hindi ako nagbibiro. Get out of there. Stop hiding and get the book on the floor."
Bakit hindi na lang siya ang kumuha at magsauli eh nasa tabi niya naman nahulog 'yon?! He just want me to get out a face him.
Narinig ko ang tunong ng upuan senyales na tumayo na siya kaya sumilip ako sa gilid. My plan didn't work when I bumped into a hard chest right after I turned around. Letse! Ang panget ng timing!
"Akala ko kung sino, ikaw lang pala. Miss mo'ko?" tanong niya na may halong pang-aasar.
Nag-angat ako nang tingin sa kanya kaya hindi sinasadyang magtama ang tungki ng ilong namin. He looked at me with amused in his eyes while I couldn't even blink my eyes because of shock.
"Tapos ka na ba sa ginagawa mo? Gusto ko lang sanang malaman." Umatras ako nang konti para pakalmahin ang sarili ko.
He cleared his throat and pulled my wrist gently at the back of the shelves."Hindi pa, pero kung may kailangan ka pwede ko namang---"
"No! Tatapusin mo 'yan at tutulungan kita. You can't pass it late. Kapag nagka-minus ka, hindi kita papansinin ng buong araw," I warned him.
Napasimangot naman siya at ibinagsak ang magkaibang balikat niya."Baka marami ka pang gagawin, hindi kita iistorbohin. Gusto kong magpahinga ka na lang. Hindi naman kaso sa'kin kahit na magka-minus ako."
"It just means that you're okay if I will ignore you for the whole day. Tama ba? Sige, gawin mo 'yan---"
"Hey! Pasensya na. Come here, sit beside me. I'll give you the easiest one," he cut off my words and put those papers in front of me.
Tinaasan ko naman siya ng kilay."Are you underestimating my skills? Kung sabagay, kayong mga lalaki nga naman---"
"Tama na. Ayan ka na naman, eh. I assigned you this works because it's just about Intermediate Spreadsheets. Itong mga natitira ay sa'kin na kase Math lahat 'to," he shut me up.
Hindi na lang ako nagsalita dahil tama naman talaga siya. Everytime I'm going to take a glance on his work, its just making my head twirl in confuse. I don't really understand that numbers or a sort kind of figures. Naiisip ko tuloy kung mga aliens ba sila.
I did my part and that is to help him on his work. Dalawang folders na lang ang natitira sa IS niya pero hindi ko pa rin matapos tapos kaagad dahil kailangan ko pang i-research. If it's just my lesson, I don't have to search for any details of such informations about it. Kaso hindi ko pwedeng sagutan 'to nang walang sapat na kaalaman dahil baka magkamali ako.
Tomorrow is the deadline of his work that's why we have to finish this today.
"We can still do this later at night. Matulog ka na muna d'yan, ako ang magpapatuloy nito," I said without looking at him.
I could feel his stare at me from behind so I turned my gaze on him. Kumunot naman ang noo ko nang ngumiti siya bigla at umub-ob sa mesa. Napailing na lang ako at bumalik sa ginagawa ko. This one folder needs to be printed out so I'll leave him for a while. I also brought my wallet because it's almost lunch time. Baka maisipan kong bumili rin ng makakain niya.
Nagtagal ako nang ilang minuto pa sa computer laboratory dahil may iilan pang nauna sa'kin. And me, being a non-socializer, I didn't interfere with them and just waited outside. Nang matapos kaagad sila ay nagmamadali akong pumasok sa loob para hindi ako matagalan.
After I finished printing, I went directly to the cafeteria to buy our lunch. I can take it out so I just asked the girl who's in charge of the foods to put it in a paper bag. I paid it using my cash since I have a remaining money in my wallet. Kapag credit card ang ginamit ko, kailangan ko pang halungkatin at wala akong oras dahil may mga dala rin ako.
"Opss! Sorry, sinadya." A girl intentionally bumped on me so that I could step aside.
"Mature," bulong ko naman at hindi na lang siya pinansin.
May dala pa kaseng kasama, baka maisipan nilang gumawa ng gulo. It's not that I'm afraid since I don't have that kind of emotion, but because I'm not a dumb like them to fight back. We're not kids anymore. Duh?
Alam kong nagpapapansin lang sila kaya hindi na ako nag-aabala pang lumingon kahit na may naririnig pa akong bulungan. Who are they for me to take a glance on them? Nothing! Sayang lang ng oras kung pag-aaksayahan ko pa sila.
'Close na close sila ni Shael 'no? Pansin ko nga, hindi na siya nambababae mga ilang linggo na'
'So? You guys were saying na si Zeriel ang dahilan kung bakit hindi na siya nambababae? Do you guys forgot that Zeriel is a model? Syempre do'n na naman siya sa high class'
'Oo nga 'no. Hindi siya lugi kay Zeriel kapag pinaglaruan niya kase maganda naman siya at halos lahat nasa kanya na'
'I even wonder if she already give herself to him. Who knows, 'di ba? Wala namang nakakatakas sa charms niya'
Naantig ang tenga ko sa sinabi ng apat na babae sa kabilang table kaya nang makita nila akong nakatingin sa kanila, nakipagtitigan sila sa'kin na para bang nanghahamon. I managed my anger and continued walking until I reached the entrance of the cafeteria. I was holding the paper bag so tight while I'm making the way back to the library. Kung nakaya kong pigilan ang galit ko kanina, ngayon hindi na at parang gusto kong bumalik do'n sa cafeteria.
Makikita niya ang hinahanap niya kapag inulit pa nila 'yon!
I secretly reached at the back of the shelves where he's sleeping. No'ng umalis ako natutulog na siya tapos ngayon pagbalik ko tulog pa. Maybe he's really that tired so I didn't bother to wake him up. Pinagpatuloy ko na lang ang paggawa ng natitirang folder na nakalagay sa gilid at 'yong tapos ko nang i-print ay naisaayos na at handa nang ipasa.
"Hey, wake up! It's already lunch time so you should eat." I shake him a little that made him groaned.
Hindi naman siya nagising at hinawakan lang ang kamay ko tapos hindi na binitawan. I sighed and pinch his nose to wake him up. Nagtagumpay naman ako at napaupo siya sabay hawak ng isang niyang kamay sa ilong niya. Nakabugsangot naman ang mukha niyang napaharap sa'kin.
"Why did you do that to me? Ang sakit ng ilong ko, ah." Hindi maipinta ang mukha niya at natatakot pang hawakan ulit ang ilong niya.
I was about to touch his nose when he moved away."Ang arte mo naman masyado. Hindi naman ko naman 'yon gaanong nilakasan."
"Wow, ha! Hindi gaano? Para nga akong nakaramdam na matatanggal ang ilong ko sa ginawa mo," reklamo niya pa.
I rolled my eyes on him."Duh? Kung hindi ko ginawa 'yon e 'di hindi ka gigising. I bought foods for you so you should eat now. Masarap 'yan habang mainit pa."
He stared at me for a minute, processing what I've said. Then, he looked at the paper bag on the table and get the foods inside it. Nilapag niya 'yon lahat sa harap namin pero ibinalik ko ang iba dahil nakaw lang sa pwesto. I'm still writing beside him and the table is just for two persons. Marami kaya siyang mga papel na nagkalat sa mesa.
Grabe! How could he find his papers in order if it's scattered all over the place?!
"Binili mo talaga 'to para sa'kin? How sweet." Binuksan niya ang tuna sandwich at saka 'yon kinain.
Hinayaan ko na lang siya kahit pa na kainin niya lahat ng binili ko. I'm not that hungry, though. I even skip lunch oftentimes so it's not a problem if I will skip again this time.
"Tapos ko na lahat ng IS mo. 'Yan na lang ba ang kulang?" I pointed the remaining two folders and on his side.
He nodded and lean his back on the chair."Sa ngayon, 'yan na lang. If I'll finish it now, makakahabol pa ako bago magsiuwian ang mga teachers."
"I also want that idea but you look so tired. Matulog na ka lang ulit, ililigpit ko 'to. I'll wake you up after the class ends." Hindi ko siya tiningnan at nagpatuloy sa pag-aayos ng mga gamit niya.
"Hindi ka pa ba kumakain? Inubos ko kase 'yong lahat ng binili mo, eh. I skipped eating breakfast and snacks so I didn't notice that I finished it without even noticing." Napakamot siya sa batok niya at umiwas ng tingin.
Tumango lang ako."Minsan lang ako kumakain ng lunch kaya hindi na bago sa'kin kung hindi ako kakain ngayon. Just go back to sleep."
Nang maghapon ay nanatili pa kami saglit sa library dahil nagpumilit siya na tatapusin 'yong iba kahit sa condo na lang daw ang matitira. I stayed with him even if we took several minutes and almost trapped inside because it's getting dark. Pagkalabas namin ay may mga teachers nang nagsiuwian kaya madali naming hinanap ang subject teacher niya.
He's going to pass his IS since it's complete. Para rin akong tuta na buntot nang buntot sa kanya dahil sabay kaming uuwi. I can't leave him...I-I don't want to.
"Maam, sige na oh. Deadline na kase bukas kaya gusto kong ihabol muna 'to ngayon. It's completed, nothing's lacking." He handed the folders to his teacher who's about to go.
She sighed."Uwian na, Mr. Helveryst. Tapos na ang oras ko bilang teacher mo. Just give it back to me tomorrow."
"Pinaghirapan kong tapusin 'to ngayon, Maam. Can't you really accept it now? Nandito pa naman kayo sa---"
"I already said it's too late. Maga-alasais na tapos ngayon mo lang 'yan pinasa. The deadline of this project was supposed to be last week but I don't want to pressure y'all since you have a lot of works to do. Finals na kaya nga dapat pag-igihan niyo, 'di ba?" His teacher raised her voice on him.
Para siyang nawalan ng pag-asa at binaba ang kamay niya. It made me pissed but I don't want to interfere. It's his problem towards her so keeping my mouth shut is the least that I can do. Kahit nga gustong gusto ko nang sagutin siya dahil hindi na siya naawa.
Hindi ba siya aware sa effort na binigay ni Shael para lang matapos 'yang bwisit na project niya. And then now that we're here, she's not gonna accept it just because it's going beyond time? What kind of reason is that?!
"Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt your conversation but isn't it unfair? Ginagawa ng estudyante ang lahat para matapos ang binibigay niyo sa kanila tapos ngayong nand'yan na, hindi niyo tatanggapin kase lagpas na sa oras ng trabaho niyo? Do you think it is a valid reason not to accept their works? Tapos kapag bukas na ipinasa, may minus kase nga deadline na. You should at least appreciate their hardwork," singit ko naman sa usapan.
Their attention was on me and I could see how shock he is when I intrude in their conversation. Maging ang teacher niya hindi makapagsalita at tinitigan lang ako. Sinabi kong hindi ako makikialam but what am I doing now?
"I admire your fighting spirit, hija. Kung sabagay, tama nga naman ang sinabi mo pero isipin mo rin sanang kaya kami nagbibigay ng panahon para maipasa nila ito ng mas maaga o kahit kapag deadline na. Hindi ganito na pauwi na ako at hinaharangan niyo ko. I appreciate their work but it doesn't mean that I will consider on accepting works that are not on time. I'm sorry." Nilagpasan niya kami kaya akmang sasagot ako nang pigilan ako ni Shael.
He smiled at me but there's sadness on it."It's okay. May bukas pa naman kaya 'wag kang mag-alala. What if we'll eat in a restaurant? Pareho tayong pagod kaya oorder na lang tayo."
He's avoiding the topic, I know it. Hindi na lang ako nagsalita at sumunod sa kanya sa parking lot. The school is about to close when we get out so I immediately get inside my car and so as him. Nauna na siya sa'kin habang nakasunod lang ako sa kanya. I let him decide where are we going to eat but I will be the one to pay for it. This will serve as my treat to him. Gusto ko lang pagaanin ang loob niya kahit sa paraang ganito lang.
I want to comfort him like what he did to me.
"What food do you want to eat? Kung anong gusto mong kainin, 'yon na lang din ang sa'kin." Tinulak ko papunta sa kanya ang menu para siya na ang pumili.
He looked at me before opening the menu."Paano kung hindi mo magustuhan ang pipiliin ko? We have a different taste so it's better if you'll choose yours too."
"Masarap naman ang pagkain nila rito kaya okay lang sa'kin kahit na ano. Go and pick now. I thought you're hungry." My brows creased while looking at him.
He selected only three dishes and not that expensive. Dalawang set do'n sa pinili niya kasama na ang akin at watermelon shake. Hindi siya pumili ng dessert kaya hindi na rin ako nagsalita at kumain na lang.
I was eating slowly enough to chew the foods that I ate. Tahimik lang din naman kami dahil wala ni isa sa'ming nagsalita. I even wonder what is he thinking right now. Is that scenario still bothering him? Parang hindi tuloy ako mapakali sa sobrang tahimik niya.
"Pwede mo pa namang dagdagan ang order mo kung gusto mo. You don't have to pay for it," sambit ko dahilan para makuha ko ang atensyon niya.
He chewed slowly while staring at me."What do you mean? Nakuha ko na ang allowance ko last day kaya pwede nang ako ang magbayad ng kinain natin."
"Pwede bang 'wag ka na lang tumanggi?! Kapag ako nainis sa'yo iiwan kita rito." I crossed my arms, leaning my back on the chair.
Nakailang sorry siya sa'kin kahit na hindi naman talaga ako galit sa kanya. I just keep on nodding and was about to pay when he said that were going to stay here for a while. Isang oras na lang magsasara na ang restaurant na 'to kaya baka hihintayin niya 'yon. It's okay with me because I already finished doing my works but he's not yet done on his obligations. May mga kailangan pa siyang tapusin kaya hindi kami pwedeng magtagal dito.
"Look, babe oh. It's your trashy ex right there. She's eating with the most popular playboy living in the world." May nagsalita sa gilid namin ni Shael kaya pareho kaming nag-angat ng tingin.
With her voice, I easily got a hint who's that person is. It's been a while since our last encounter and it happened again. Sa totoo lang ayoko na talaga siyang makita pero kung ano pa 'yong pinakaayaw kong mangyari, 'yon pa ang talagang nangyayari. Dinala niya pa ngayon ang lalaking matagal ko nang kinalimutan. Ever since I came back here in the Philippines, we never did crossed our paths. Bali-balita rin kaseng sila pa raw ni Sophie at mukhang totoo nga.
I don't give a damn on them. They were just a dirt in my life. She and that bastard were nothing to me!
I boredly turned my gaze on them."Kung magsalita kayo ng sobrang halata, 'wag sa malapit namin kase nagmumukha kayong papansin."
"Oh, Zeriel. Ano ka ba naman? Para namang hindi tayo bestfriends no'ng highschool, ah. We even share a lot of things." She fake laugh to pretend that we're really close until now.
"Well, you're not remarkable for me to look at you. Hindi rin naman kayo gano'n ka-importante para bigyan kayo nang pansin. So what if we're like fake sisters before? It's all in the past. 'Wag mong sabihing hindi ka pa naka-move on." I raised my eyebrow at her, fighting the urge to talk back without feeling anything but hatred.
Inalis niya ang kamay niya sa pagkakahawak ni Lyndon at lumapit nang konti sa mesa namin. Shael holds my hand in the table and squeezed it so tight, telling me to calm down myself which I really did. Hindi naman ako masyadong nag-aalburoto dahil kakatapos ko lang kumain.
She dramatically holds her chest."Wow! So gano'n na lang 'yon after all that we've through? O baka naman hindi ka pa rin naka-move on sa nangyari sa past natin? That part when my boyfriend broke up with you because you look like an innocent lamb who doesn't know anything in life."
She really wants a real talk with me, huh? Siguro, eto na ang panahon para magkaalaman na kami kung sino ang unang nagtaksil. Seems like we're going to spill everything. Lahat pala ng baho, ah?
"You know what, Sophie? Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit ako pumatol d'yan sa boyfriend mo, eh. Maybe because I was blinded by the light that brought damage to my eyes. Fooled by the words that full of lies so I couldn't go up to weigh out what's right or wrong. Sa totoo lang kase, wala naman kayong kwentang dalawa para sa'kin eh." I moved my hands in the air like gesturing every words that I'm going to say.
Lyndon secretly pulled her to get away from our table."Babe, it's enough. We're here to eat and not to make a mess. Sa iba na lang tayo kumain."
"Mabuti pa nga siguro kung umalis na kayo. We're eating here and you guys were distracting us. I bet you know that it's disrespectful," Shael added.
Karamihan sa mga customers ay nagsialisan na at konti na lang ang natira. They were about two tables except for us. I even caught them taking pictures and videos of us. I won't be surprised if we're in the new trending tomorrow.
Nagpumiglas naman si Sophie at hindi nagpadala sa letseng boyfriend niya."Akala mo naman hindi ka talaga nag-enjoy noon. As if you didn't beg in front of us just to join our circle. Nagrepresenta ka pa ngang gawin ang mga assignments at projects namin para lang hayaan kang sumama sa lahat ng lakad namin. What now?!"
"I remember every single detail of it even though you won't say it all. C'mon, don't be a bitch! Alam mong nagawa ko lang 'yon kase wala pa ako sa tamang pag-iisip. I don't know the right things to do. Kahit na ginawa niyo 'kong sunod-sunuran niyo, at least may nagawa akong mabuti kahit sa mga hindi karapat-dapat na tao. I can't remember that I did anything wrong to my past. How about you? Hindi naman ako bitter pero kasama ba sa highschool goal mo ang mang-ahas ng lalaki?" prangkang sabi ko sa kanya.
They were both shocked on what I've said. It's either they didn't expect me to say that or it's really the truth so they couldn't deny. Ako 'yong nakaranas sa mga ginagawa nila kaya bakit ako magsisinungaling sa sasabihin ko?
Sophie forced herself to stand straight and act normal."Just so you know, I didn't stole your boyfriend. Siya ang lumapit sa'kin at sinabing mas gusto niya ako kaysa sa'yo. Can't you imagine how naive are you way back in highschool?"
"If you think that bringing back the past will make you score and elude those things you did from the past, fuck off! Kase kung bibilangin natin ang mga kasalanan mo sa nakaraan, hindi pa ako nakakalima, naka-isang daan ka na." I stood up from my chair to face her intently.
"Pinagbigyan ko na kayong kausapin siya kaya aalis na kami. If it happens that you'll trouble her again, don't expect me to feel pity on you." Lumipat si Shael sa pwesto ko at hinawakan ang bewang ko para ilapit sa kanya.
She instantly grabbed my hands but I accidentally pushed her to the floor."You can't threaten me whatever you do. I'm not yet done! Tandaan mo, Zekiah, mapapahiya ka sa lahat."
I didn't look back at her anymore and let Shael pull me away from there. I guess it's not a simple dinner but an unexpected rendezvous.
----------------------------------------