A/N; IMPORTANT. my last chapter is private so you need to follow me to read it, due to mature content. and since the first part is rather important I strongly advice you to do so.
Skye
"Holy sugar hoops... you have got to be kidding me right?" Brad says in disbelieve. It's the day after me and Jamie's hustle in the storage room, which for some unknown reason went unnoticed. Something had gone wrong with the smoke machines and the filming had run even later than it already was. We had been gone for a whole hour, but only Patrick had seemed to notice. He had kept staring at my smudgy makeup and obvious sex hair. Jamie's destroyed tattoos I thought would be a dead giveaway, but no one said a word. The makeup artists had thought I had been crying due of anxiety, and had kindly done my makeup again. I hadn't corrected them, just nodded like a sad lamb. The rest of the day, Jamie and I had done our job, running on what I assume must have been remaining sexual tension and nostalgia of times lost forever. But we hadn't spoken a word since, that hadn't been a line.
I have just told Brad of all of this over Skype, including Jamie's and my own de-trip with other partners on our lips, which had coursed it all.
"Do I look like I am kidding?" I ask in a small voice. Brad lets out a heave breath of air.
"You kissed Tom fucking Hiddleston? While with Jamie and then you proceeded to shag-"
"Ssshh, and no I didn't kiss Tom Hiddleston, he kissed me, I just..." my voice go all squeaky," sort of let it happen...and just for the record I wasn't with Jamie. Not really. I had only told him I could give it a try..."
Brad cut me off, "and Jamie found out and then you guys had good ol' break up sex?" I shrug, yes. Brad can see me through the webcam. I am sitting in my room, away from the others. I had sort of hidden myself away after what happed yesterday. We have gotten the whole day off, since the set still isn't working properly for whatever reason.
Brad is sitting in the living room of the flat at home; I can see the paintings we have done on the wall behind him.
"You're unbelievable Scarlett!" Brad exclaims, "What are you going to do?"
"Dunno" we're silent for a while, me thinking of my seriously fucked up life, Brad probably happy it isn't him.
"Still think you have a shot with Hiddleston?" he asks breaking the silence and I shoot him the dirtiest look I can muster. He is grinning from ear to ear.
"I don't think it's a good idea to drag him further into my mess at the moment." I tell Brad in a dry voice.
"No you misunderstand me," Brad interrupts, "I just want to be able to say my friend fucked Tom Hiddleston." I gasp in disbelieve. He has got to be kidding... which he is...
"You can already say she got kissed by him!" I exclaim, "Isn't that enough?"
"No, not the same," he states shaking his head tousled reddish hair.
"Seriously Brad, what am I supposed to do about Jamie?"
"What do you want to do?" he echoes my question
"What I did yesterday..." I mutter in a small shy voice.
"SCARLETT MOIRA DELANEY, quite your teenage hormones this instant!" Brad exclaim using my ever so hidden middle name. It was being reserved for times like this one.
"Seriously Brad I've tried nothing like it!"
"What? It was so hot and sweet you burst and started shooting rainbows out your arse or somethen'?"
I laugh, "No, he pretty much took me as a hound takes a bitch."
"WHAT?" he exclaim at the filthy images my statement develops.
"Like a hound ta-"
"No I heard you just fine! Did he rape you?!" Brad asks suddenly sounding worried.
My eyebrow scurried together, my voice confused, "No? Where do you get that?"
"But you just said..?" Brad mutters.
"Ever heard of the book '50 of shades of Grey'?" I ask already knowing the answer. He is already overly excited for the movie release next year. He has already declared it the definitively hottest book of all time. He looks down at his lap, giving me all the answer I need.
"It was like that." I inform him.
"He tied you up?" Brad whisper in disbelief.
"No.. Brad, you blasted moron.. He just told me what I could and could not do a little!"
"And you were fine with that?"
"Trust me, you would be too, the way he said it," I admit my voice low, the way you tell a dirty secret to a friend.
"That hot?
"That hot." I agree putting pressure on the first syllable.
"So now you just want to fuck him all the time?" he asks.
"Wouldn't you?"
"That wasn't the question Scarlett. You have gotten more issues in - what? How long have you been there? 2 - 3 weeks, than I have got in my whole sorry life!"
"That's because you never go outside."
"Besidethe point!" He says pointing a finger at his screen, "do you even want to be with Jamie, like at all?"
"I want to be under him for sure," I joke half-heartedly.
"Scarlett seriously... you have to work with him for ages to come... and you're already starting to build yourself a bit of a reputation."
"What do you mean?"
"Well... ehm..." he collects himself, "a diverse range of gossip magazine is carrying you're picture, both the ones at that party last week and the one of you kissing Tom, with the title..." Suddenly Brad trails of.
"What title?" I ask
"It's harsh, sure you want to know?"
"Tell me."
He gulps to clear is throat, "Hollywood's new up an' coming whore," he sighs ,"'Hollywood's new gold digger', 'the she wolf of Hollywood's dearest', 'The heartbreaker of Brits', 'small time girl, big time men'."
"Give me the link to one of them," I say in a hard voice, a lump have formed in my throat.
"You okay Scarlett?" he asks.
"No, isn't there anything good about me?"
"Dunno, those were the first ones when I did a google search on your name." he tells me and I go on google typing in my name: Skye Delaney.
They instantly pop up, all those Brad have just told be about and more. I click the first one.
The heartbreaker of Brits
This up and coming actress is prone to hang around the neck of our dearest men. Giving out kisses to any celeb for her wake. We of course are talking about the new star Skye Delaney, the lead of the new show 'shadowhunter'.
Who doesn't want a hot British celeb by their side at all time? I wouldn't be the one to complain, I tell you that. But out little Skye has taken it a bit too far, don't you think?
She was first spotted parading around town with her co - actor Jamie Campbell Bower, kissing and hugging like the cute couples we so adore. But it didn't last long.
Under that there is a picture of Jamie and me from the first week in LA. Back when everything was good. We were standing in front of a Starbucks, our hands entwined and I stood on my tiptoes to kiss Jamie. He was leaning down smiling. It makes my heart ache with longing. What had happened?
Now she is singing quite a different tone. Being spotted at a Hollywood party having an argument with none else but her beloved Jamie, until the dark mysterious stranger interrupts the couple's loud yells. The stranger being the always dashing as we know him, Tom Hiddleston. Witnesses report that Tom and Skye have been seen disappearing into various room of the house before the fight of star cross lovers Jace and Clary (the names of Skye's and Jamie's respective roles on 'shadowhunter) commenced. Can't keep you're self to one man Skye? gotta catch them all, as they say.
Several pictures from the party are shown. I gulp.
There is definitely something stirring under the surfs. Tom and Skye were last seen a couple days ago on the street, in a warm embrace, tenderly kissing each other. Are they together? Or are they just each other's side-biscuit? - Reserving dinner and desert for someone else. Neither Tom nor Skye have confirmed any of the rumours.
The pictures of me and Tom are shown. 'Warm embrace? Tenderly kissing?' it was one fucking kiss and then I pushed him away. 'Tenderly kissing' my bare arse.
But there is even more to this juicy story, our promiscuous Skye have also been spotted with her co- star Robert Sheehan, after the party. Allegedly spending whole days at the beach together. Maybe that's a story for another time? Watch where you're headed little S.
I stopped reading. It all sounded like gossip pouring directly from the show 'gossip girl' to my screen. Promiscuous? Again, warm embrace and tenderly kissing? And the so called rumour about Sheehan was just down right wrong. But I had to give them one thing, they portrayed me exactly like the bitched I felt like. They're uncomfortably close to the truth for my liking.
I regret not pushing Tom away sooner. I didn't stand a chance with Jamie any longer. He is gone, out of my reach. I know that. I have had him for the last time, yesterday.
"You okay?" Brad asks.
"Don't know..." I mutter staring blankly at the screen.
"Something I can do?" Brad asks, 4 years of friend ship doesn't just disappear when you do the stupidest thing of your life. It sticks.
"Can you make a time machine maybe?" I ask, rubbing my hand over my face. I am exhausted and I am aching all over from what happened yesterday.
"Sorry... I don't have that sort of... expertise..." After a few mintues Brad asks, "what happened to you two? I know the story, I just don't.. get why..?"
"Hollywood sucks." I just say.
"Scarlett, you make no sense..."
I sight, "Jamie thought I kissed Tom and he kissed someone, but then suddenly I doubted whether I loved him or not,-"
"Do you still doubt it?" he shoots in, going directly to the core of my issues.
I shrug, I don't know.
"He is not Brendon, you know?" The memory of my long forgotten ex emerges from my memories and I frown. It is inevitable; I'll forever be destined for that sort of guy. The same charade over and over again till I die. Problem being I just kept falling flat on my arse for them. Not very helpful.
"That's what Jane said," I tell Brad, remembering my short talk in the vane with Jane, it seemed ages ago, truth what it was only weeks.
"Well she is right."
"It doesn't matter anymore.. Jamie is out of my reach. What I did is unforgiveable,-" I say, but my next words are cut off.
"Yeah, you screwed up royally. But nothing is unforgiveable Scarlett. Not with time. People forgive others from murdering their parents or chil-"
"I would thank someone too if they killed my parent," I interrupt with the dryly, black humour.
"That's not the point, Skye!" Brad screams at me but I scream back with more than enough fury than for both of us.
"Brad, don't you understand?! I want him to hate me! I want him to loath me!" I scream, but Brad doesn't waver.
"Scarlett you just did exactly the same thing as he did! While it was totally childish, he can't blame you for it! He did the same stupid thing."
"I was worse than him, Brad!"
"No you weren't!" Brad persists as I reach across the table and grab my black sketch book.
"Look!" I say flipping the book open, showing him the imperfect drawing of Jamie.
"What?" he asks," that's Jamie, and?" I keep going as if he hadn't said a word. I need him to understand.
"And now look at this," I flip the page, showing him the perfect depiction of Tom.
"Aand that's TomHiddleston..." Brad states, "What's you point?"
"Can't you see that my drawing of Tom looks a lot more like him, than my drawing of Jamie?!" I ask my voice desperate. Didn't he see it?
"Have you gone mad?"
"No, Brad," I go back to the drawing of Tom, "can't you see?" I flip the page back and forth between the two drawings, showing them to him on the webcam. The perfect and the imperfect. I know he can see them in high detail our connection is good.
"You're bugging mad Scarlett..." Brad says in a monotone voice, "they look exactly like the original specimen like always." I sigh heavily, letting the sketch pad fall down onto my lap. I stare at the two pictures. Perfection and imperfection. I stop going back and forth between then settling on Tom's picture. Then in one swift, precise movement I rip it out of the book, and tear it in half.
"Scarlett, what the hell are you doing?" I hear Brad ask from my computer.
"What I should have done a long time ago," I say as I continue to make Tom's picture into confetti, before throwing it in the bin.
Then I precede with grapping my phone from my night table, sliding it open. I go to contacts, find Tom's number, I click on message. Clinging tightly to my sudden decisiveness.
Sorry if I lead you on. We will never happen. Meeting up with you was a mistake. I am sorry. Please don't try to contact me.
Skye
Then I send the message, block and delete his number. It feels as if a weight of guilt is lifted from my shoulders.
"What did you do?" Brad asks again.
"I choose imperfection," I just say, suddenly feeling rather poetic.
"What the hell are you talking about..?"