0:00pm/am
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(Might be better to read it with the song ^^)
As I drifted, I dreamed. I was floating under the dark water and it was peaceful.
Way too peaceful.
There wasn't any noise presented but my breathing and the only thing I could see is darkness. I couldn't feel any pain which was surprising as I just got shot. Is this how death feels like?
If it is, then I wonder... what's going to happen to my mum after she heard of my death? And most importantly... will Jungkook be able to move on?
Throughout my life, I've always been an ordinary person who's grateful for everything that I have. There have been many different crossroads moments in my life, where moments that change everything. I remember having a crossroad checklist and decided to do a quick mental life scan.
To be honest, I'd done most of the things I'd wanted to accomplish and do. I travelled and ate many delicious food. I get to meet many wonderful people but... I didn't get to graduate. I also didn't get to experience marriage but we can't always have everything, right? Despite being lonely most of the time and only having my mum, I've experienced many kinds of love.
If I had a chance to wake up and say a few more words, I would say thank you to everyone who has been with me till the end. It has been a memorable rollercoaster, and I couldn't ask for more.
Jungkook, my everything, I'm sorry for breaking the promise I made but I hope you know you're my first and last love. Even if my eyes are closed, the only thing I see is you. Even if I'm alone, I'm always calling out for your name.
Through many hardships, trauma, and dark nights, I was able to smile because you were there. Do you know? Because of you, I was happy. Sometimes, I even wonder whether I deserve this much happiness and love that it tears me up.
I know you can't hear me, but I'm extremely thankful to you.
Thank you for being helpful and understanding.
Thank you for loving me and making me feel special.
Thank you for giving me new memories for me to cherish forever.
You're my forever happy place and without you, I feel incomplete. From the very beginning, I knew you were someone who had stolen my heart. But is ok. I'll let you keep it.
Our time together was short but our feelings for each other had been long. If only I could tell you how much I love you one more time, I will.
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Thank you for reading!
~Xin