I felt my face break into a grin as I caught sight of the beaming figure a distance away, who was now waving me over.
“Hey,” I chirped, finally reaching him.
“Hey, B.” He stopped to take in my outfit, an impish smile curling on his lips. “I never knew you were such a baseball enthusiast.”
I gave a short incredulous laugh in response. “What? I love baseball. All the balls, and the throwing, and the…you know…things.”
Things? Seriously?
I rewarded myself with a thousand mental slaps. So much for trying to pose as a baseball lover just so I could get to spend time with Jason.
Yeah, Jason and I were talking last night – you know, the way we’d been doing for the past week now. It’s just something that became a routine without us even realizing it. And so far, things between us have been great…as friends.
That’s right – I was still in my self inflicted friend zone.
Well, last night, Jason mentioned that he'd be having a small game of baseball with his ‘pal’ today. And well, trust me to act like baseball was my favorite sport in the world, and of how much I enjoyed playing the game. As a result, Jason invited me to join them today for the game.
So, yeah, everything was going great – well, that's if you ignored the fact that my baseball skills were pretty much non-existent. But besides that, then everything was fine.
Now, however, his eyes gleamed with amusement at my comment. “Really?”
“Yeah,” I answered, even adding a duh expression. But in the face of his knowing smile, I gave in. “Ok, fine,” I sighed dramatically. “You know I can’t pass up an excuse to dress up.”
That earned a laugh from him – a deep, rich, throaty sound that I soon found myself echoing.
A moment later though, and I was asking, “so, where’s your friend?”
Or his ‘pal’ as he called him.
Though my question was voiced with a smile that translated to: ‘I’m totally a sweet and caring girlfriend material,’ my insides were hoping said friend rammed his head into a pole on his way, and would not be able to make it. Because then, Jason and I could have some alone time.
But how hopes got crushed.
“Oh, right,” he piped up with a soft chuckle, turning to call out: “hey, Elliot!”
I followed his line of sight, expecting some buff guy around our age to come into view. Hence, imagine my surprise when a cute dark-haired kid of about eight or nine, came jogging over to us, a white dog in tow.
“Elliot,” Jason started, casually slinging an arm around the younger boy – the action simple, yet fond. “This is Brooke, my friend. And Brooke, this here is Elliot, my little bro, regretfully.”
Elliot, or Jason’s little brother as I’d learnt, made a face at the last part. However, his attention was soon shifted towards something else – well, someone else.
“Hey, Elliot. It’s nice to finally meet you. Jason has told me a lot about you,” I mused, feeling my lips give way to a smile.
What followed was my hand being gently lifted, the feel of soft lips pressing against it.
“I hope you’ve heard only good things. Because I sure wouldn’t want a girl as beautiful as you to have a bad impression of me,” he remarked, wearing what I guessed was supposed to be a charming smirk, but was actually just a cute smile that left me wanting to pinch his cheeks at how endearing he looked.
But I doubted Elliot would like that, especially given that he seemed to be getting his charming mode on. So, I instead gave a small chuckle, saying, “yeah, only good things.”
“Well, I’m glad to know that. By the way, can I ask you something?”
Curious, I nodded.
“Does your family deal in the alcohol business?”
Ok, that was definitely not what I was expecting. Alcohol business? Why would he want to know that?
To him though, I shook my head in the negative. “But why do you ask?”
“Because your beauty has left me intoxicated.”
The laugh that slipped off my lips couldn’t be helped. “Why, thank you. That’s so sweet of you.”
He beamed proudly in reply, making me think of how cute a player he was. It was just too adorable.
Jason, however, had other thoughts. He whacked the younger boy upside the head, leaving him crying out: “oww! What was that for?”
“Intoxicated, huh? What did I tell you about flirting with girls?”
The only thing differentiating him from a jealous wife questioning her husband right now, was that his hands were not resting on his hips. Elliot, on his part, offered a sheepish grin in reply.
I found myself amusedly watching their exchange.
“But she’s just so beautiful,” Elliot was now saying. “And besides, she’s not your girlfriend, so you can’t just expect me to not make a move on a pretty girl.”
He shot me a wink at the last part, and it took all my willpower to not burst into a chortle. What can I say? He was just too cute.
“Oh, yeah?” Jason questioned, face suddenly gleaming with mischief as he added, “then fine, she’s my girlfriend.”
At that, a thoughtful expression flashed through Elliot’s face – as though he was weighing in on the situation. And it wasn’t long before he reached a conclusion. “Well, it doesn’t matter. You know what they say – ‘the girl isn’t yours even if she’s yours.’”
This time, I wasn’t as successful in biting back a chortle. I couldn’t help it, this kid was really interesting.
Even Jason was quite unable to help the chuckle that left his lips. “What does that even mean? And who the hell says that?”
“JJ does. He said it to me himself,” Eliot stated, looking quite proud of himself at remembering what his grandfather said. Jason on the other hand, sighed resignedly at his grandpa’s antics. But Elliot had other things in mind. “Ignore him, my beautiful queen,” he mused, facing me with a ‘charming’ smile. “Sadly, he still has a lot to learn about dealing with girls.”
“You’re right, Elliot. I think you should try teaching him how to be a little more romantic,” I remarked lightly, my lips moving in a sly grin when I caught Jason’s stare. “He really doesn't know much about it.”
“I know. Believe me, I’ve tried my best with him.”
“So, I’m not romantic, huh?” Jason queried, feigning displeasure.
“Not even a little,” Elliot deadpanned.
“Totally not,” I chimed in agreement.
“Well, fine,” he huffed. “You both keep thinking that way. It’s not like I’m going to…” The rest of his words were left to trail off, as he was soon lunging at Elliot in a surprise tickle attack, leaving the latter bubbling with mirth.
I felt myself smile as I watched them – although it was quick to freeze in its place when Jason finally let go of Elliot, his gaze resting on me.
“Oh no,” I said, suddenly aware that I might not be in the clear.
“Oh yes,” he chimed, face beaming in mischief.
And that was the last I heard before he came at me, leaving me bolting away between giggles. But I was only able to make it so far before he caught me in his arms, eliciting a small squeal from me.
He was soon whipping me around to face him. “So, what was that you were saying about me earlier?”
“Me?” I asked back, feigning surprise. “What do I know? I didn’t even say a word.”
He laughed at that – something I soon joined in. With the decline of the mirthful sounds however, I suddenly grew conscious of our current position. Jason still had his arms around me, holding me close – and the fact that his gaze never once left mine, wasn’t doing much to help the whole ‘friendly’ thing we’d been going at.
“You know, you’re different lately.”
“Different?” I echoed, throwing him a questioning stare.
“Yeah, different. It’s like you’re you, but you’re also not you. Does that make sense?”
I pretended to consider it before shaking my head between chuckles. “Not really.”
“Yeah, it really doesn’t,” he admitted, chuckling a little himself.
“So, is it a good kind of ‘different?’”
“It is,” he answered, staring at me in a way that made me believe he meant it, and that left a pleased smile on my face. And my glee might have grown a little more with his addition of: “I really like this ‘different.’”
Something about the low raspiness of his voice, and his lingering gaze which was soon moving down to my…whoa!
Despite my efforts at maintaining my ‘I’m totally chill’ face, my insides were practically screaming: ‘oh my god, is he really about to do what I think he is?’
I got my answer soon enough when I saw him lean in. And at that moment, I couldn’t help but think of how long it’s been since we’d done this.
And although a part of me was delighted at the fact that things were starting up again, there was another part that questioned if I’d missed this.
Had I missed this? Had I missed being with Jason like this – the both of us kissing each other senseless, breaking apart only to catch our breaths? Had I really missed this?
Through these past weeks of fake dating Hawk, could I maybe have forgotten to miss this?
Ok, even to me, that made no sense.
The only reason I even started fake dating Hawk was because of this – so I could get back together with Jason. And now that things were finally steering toward what I wanted, I was happy. I mean, I guess I was, right?
Gosh, my thoughts were driving me crazy. Why was I overthinking now of all times? And why was I even thinking of Hawk-related topics when Jason and I were about to kiss.
Of course, I was thankful to Hawk, that’s why. I was thankful to Hawk because he had a role in making this happen.
And now, I was going to stop thinking about Hawk and just focus on this moment.
Totally easy.
Stop overthinking. Stop overthinking. Stop o—
I pulled away – I just couldn’t do it.
Jason’s feelings on it, however, were quite different. His face flashed with something I couldn't quite pinpoint.
Surprise? Disappointment? Hurt? Probably a mix of all three.
But whichever it was, I still felt bad about being the reason for it. Hence, my saying, “Jason, I...I'm sorry.”
“No, it’s fine” he started, waving a dismissive hand. “If anyone should be sorry, it’s me. I was way out of line with that.”
If anything, that just made me feel worse. “No, you weren’t,” I mused, eager to repair the situation. “It’s just…”
I trailed off then, realizing that I couldn’t even find a reason myself. I mean, why would I back out of a kiss with Jason? How stupid was that?
In the end, I blurted the first thing that came to mind. “Hawk.”
Fuck!