Now that we're sleeping next to each other and as I go back and thoroughly on things, I don't know what to do now after.
Yes, Donghyuck will live with me. Yes, I will provide his needs. Yes, we will keep the child. And then? I don't know anymore. My mind scoffs on my heart.
"Hyung?"
I hum and slowly open my eyes. I just fell asleep for an hour, probably, because I was busy looking at him throughout the night and just right now, he woke me up.
"What is it?"
"Do you have some pickles?" I could feel his breath on my chest as he said that.
And yes, Donghyuck is pregnant. Still in his two months and yes, he is still sensitive and he craves for lots and lots of unusual things.
"With butter, please?" He adds up.
There it is.
I just smile at him and nod. I did that, solely because I don't have any other choice but to follow him and I want to make him happy by any means.
"Let me grab some." I tap him softly and lift myself up together with him. I made him sit on my bed as I go to my fridge and rummage on it.
Sadly, I found out I have none of what he asked for. I haven't bought groceries yet because of the things that passed by. From my mother's death, to our argument and until earlier. Damn, a lot has happened.
I turn to my heels, enter my room and gave him a disappointed smile.
"Sorry. I forgot I have nothing in my fridge anymore."
I won't wait for him to be sad and cry again, so I brought my coat and wallet with me in a second while Donghyuck immediately pouts in front of me and pulled the hem of my coat. He looks at me with worried eyes.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to buy some for you." I smile. "Can you wait for me?"
I don't even know where to buy a pickle and a butter around here at two AM, but I eventually will. I just want to make him full and happy.
"Alone?" Donghyuck fiddles with his fingers in front of me. Then, he kisses my lips. "You'll be back, right?"
"Of course."
Shit, I want to kiss him back. After the realization of loving him so much last night, I find myself loving every skinships and kisses with Donghyuck. I just want to plop back into bed and pepper him with kisses.
God, Donghyuck. I love you.
I kiss his forehead, instead. "I'll be back."
I step out of the room for the second time and in the dark circle I step in. It's still dark outside and there are not much of people around. I found the nearest convenience store and sadly, I only found butter. No pickles at all.
I walk around again, hoping and praying to the heavens to leave me some pickles so I can finally give it to Donghyuck who's waiting for me at home.
I want to make him happy this dawn. Even if it's tiring and a bit scary, even if I'm still sleepy and worn out, I will endure it all for him, of course.
After a long run, I got some pickles but when I saw the time, it was already three in the morning. I've been running around for an hour just to find the pickles.
But then it also made me happy because finally, I can go back home to Donghyuck, after a tiring walk. I snicker to myself as I imagine Donghyuck's face—happy and pleased because of the pickles and butter than I bought for him.
I walk to my apartment and stunned to see him outside.
"Lee Donghyuck?" I gasp into the air. He's there, outside the apartment and in the cold air.
"Mark?" He looks over his shoulders and then turn to the other side. He's obviously waiting for me, or for the food that I bought, because he's been looking back and forth as he calls out my name.
"Hey… What are you doing out here in the cold?" I shiver.
"Mark? Mark!" The difference when he said that was clear. The first one was full of hesitations and the latter was a scream of joy.
He jumps on me as soon as our eyes meet each other. He's so cold and I'm sure he's out here for too long.
Damn, why did it made me so happy?
"Why are you here?" I chortle on his neck. "Were you waiting for me?"
"I thought you weren't coming back." He huffs. "I got scared. I thought you had a hard time finding pickles and you gave up finding it."
"You know I can't do that, Donghyuck." I whisper. "My home is you. I will come home to you, with of course, your pickles and butter."
I cover him up with my own coat, pull him close and engulf him in my warmth. He hugs me back and nuzzles his face into my shoulders. With him being cuddly and soft, I felt the world's pressure for me to kiss the side of his face, so I did. I peck his soft hair, too.
"Let's go home?"
"Wait up…" He says. "I want to hug you more."
"I will give you cuddles when we get inside." I said and forcefully drag him to our apartment.
I figured out I have to help him clean his apartment by tomorrow and move his things inside mine. It might be too stuffy for the both of us but I very much know I don't have any other choice. I love it even.
"Here." I gave him the pickles and melted butter. He smiles to me genuinely and threw the sliced pickles into the melted butter in a bowl.
I don't even know what it tastes like and I'm so sure I won't eat that. It sounds disgusting and the visual is unappealing. I don't mind seeing Donghyuck eat that, though. He looks happy with it.
I sit beside him as he eats, then I rub his stomach where I could feel our baby is.
"Is this okay?" I ask kindly referring to the night when I rub his stomach and he got really mad.
He nods at me. "I just snapped that night because I thought you would figure out I'm pregnant. I wasn't really mad at you for scratching my stomach. I like it very much, even, and you know that."
That night, when I thought that'd be our last night and cuddle together but damn look at us now, still here even after the long bumby road. I smile as I reminisce.
"I am so dumb for not picking up." I scoff to myself.
"You are." He giggles.
Look at my baby, laughing happily because he thinks I'm dumb for not being sensitive and fast enough to catch up.
You look dumb too, you know. You haven't even picked up to the fact that I love you already. I still won, baby.
"How does it feel?"
"Being pregnant?" He says while stuffing his mouth with foods.
I nod at him.
"Well… for mornings, I feel very awful. I puke the moment I wake up! For the rest of the day, uh, I just want to sleep. I always feel sleepy. For midnight or dawn, I want to eat."
I have a bumpy road ahead if that's the case then. I don't mind, though. I won't mind.
"Baby?"
"Hmm?" He giggles. "I'm baby, right?"
"Yeah." I shrug.
There's no other. Of course, it's just you.
"What do you want to name it?"
He puts the bowl down and adjusts himself. He puts his thighs over my legs. This is so intimate and I love it.
"If it's a girl, uh, I'd like Mar… Marie?" He trails off.
"No!" I laugh at the very common name. I don't want that, honestly.
"Why?" He laughs at me. "It'd be close to your name! Mark… Marie… Markie… Melt… Maku…"
"No." I shook my head as I chortle. "I'd like her to be… Minnie? Or Haemin?"
"That's my mother's name." He pouts. "I don't want that!"
"Then what if it's a boy?"
He scrunches his nose. "Minhyung, junior…"
"My name?"
He nods. "It just sounds so cool to me. Min-hyung."
"I don't want it to be a junior though." I huff. Then an idea came to me like a light bulb lit up. "Minhyuck."
"What?"
"Min from Minhyung, which is my name. Hyuck from Donghyuck which is yours." I smile at him. "Lee Minhyuck."
He gasps and claps to himself. "That is so amazing!"
"Or let's just have it simple, you know… Channie."
"I like Minhyuck." He pouts at me and for a temptation like this, I can't refuse. I kiss him firmly and move my lips on top of him for a good minute.
"God, stop pouting."
He kisses me back, with the same intensity as I did. He puts the bowl on our legs and cupped my empty cheeks. He entangles his legs over my waist and I knew if this goes much further, I can't sit still anymore.
"Damn it…" I groan on his lips. "Let's stop right here, baby."
"Oh… Does this bother you?" He whispers back. I shook my head because obviously it's not, I love to do it with him again, more than anything.
"I'm just worried about you, that's all." I smile. "You're pregnant. And you might regret it later today, so let's not do it."
"You don't want to have sex?"
"Not sex. Heaven knows how much I want to make love to you." I shut my eyes and gulp as I rest my head on his. "It is uncomfortable for you. I don't think it's good for you. So, let's not do it."
"We can do it, now, Mark." He says. "We can have sex, today."
"Would that make me a pedophile? A rapist?"
"You're not." He says on my lips. "And I'm sorry for that day. I didn't mean everything that I said. I'm sorry for jumping into conclusions and believing her lies. I'm sorry… baby."
"Damn it!" I bite my lips to supress wide smile. "Your baby… is making me so fucking gay."
We look like a couple, really. Only that I haven't said anything about what I feel and also he hasn't confirmed anything to me yet. When will that day ever come? Or would it ever come?
Before I could even find answers for the thoughts inside my head, Donghyuck has already pulled me to him. I kiss him passionately as I support his back with my arms and palms.
There's no way I'd be able to turn around in this. There's no way I'd be out of Donghyuck's maze. I love it now. I'd love to make love to Donghyuck right now.
I stealthily grabbed all the pillows behind him and position it near his back. As I kiss him boldly, I gently put him on the bed with lots of pillows around him.
I pant on his lips, bite his lower lip again and let go. I place a gentle but lots and lots of butterfly kisses to his forehead.
"Is this really okay?" I cup his cheeks and meet his eyes.
He nods as an answer and so there's no time to even think about refusing this.
"I'll make love to you. So tell me if you want me to stop, if you're uncomfortable or if you changed your mind." I whisper on him.
He smiles at me though and rubs his palms on my back. "Okay, baby…"