CW: Hinted drug trauma, non-con mentioned, shots, panic attack
A/N: FYI, I'm trying to make these chapters longer, thank you for reading my fic! <3
'Ugh, this is stupid.' They thought to themself as they struggled to wash their own hair. 'Nurse Amelia gave me way too many numbing shots. I can't even feel my hands.' He let a strained laugh out as he opened a bottle of face wash.
His right leg was in a sling that was hanging from the ceiling, so he had to balance on his left foot and either lean against the wall or hold onto the sling's straps. Their breath was heavy enough without the strain of balancing, due to the chest wound that was wrapped so tightly and put into a water-sealed corset.
They felt like an idiot, struggling to stand in the shower fully clothed.
Fully immobilized.
Completely weak.
Utterly...'useless.'
'You should've killed that jerk while you had the time.' As he quietly yelled at himself, he accidentally knocked his body wash onto the floor of the tub.
'Dang it.' They huffed. Reaching for the sling's latches, he undid them, and slowly lowered himself onto the floor of the tub. They almost grabbed the bottle before a shot of pain coursed their body.
'Frick! What the heck...' he laid down on his back, laying his head onto a shower pillow. They closed their eyes with a grimace, until the shots of pain subsided.
They were gone. So why wasn't he getting up?
'I don't wanna get up.' He realized.
As they laid on the cold shower floor, they raised their hand and watched the water hit it and run off and down his arm. He smiled faintly before letting his eyes close.
— — —
"Ranboo." He slightly opened his eyes to see Papa J staring at him. They closed their eyes again.
"What?"
"What? What? That's all you have to say? You've been laying here for hours."
"I don't wanna get up."
Papa J huffed, "you don't wanna get up, huh?"
'Yep.' They thought. "Yes sir."
"Why not?" J questioned.
"I don't wanna get up."
He huffed, so Ranboo added, "to much work. No point."
Papa J's eyes widened at them. "Are you serious? Ranboo." He sighed as he turned their face towards his. "Ranboo. Look at me."
Ranboo reluctantly opened his eyes.
"You are stronger than this. Smarter than this."
"Ranboo, you're better then this."
"No." Papa J sighed. Meakly, Ranboo smiled at him. "I'm weak. I'm pathetic. I should've slit that man's throat. Didn't even put up a fight."
"You aren't. I didn't- no. Dream and Eret didn't see you and misread you. Dream and Eret saw something in you. A fire. You don't dare let that jerk put it out. I saw it when you went on your first mission. You're holding back.
Stop it."
Ranboo stared at him, with his mouth lightly opened.
'A fire...?'
Papa J cupped his cheek with his hand.
'A flame...?'
"Fluctuat nec mergitur, mea vita." He smiled; a smile like you give your friend across a silent room as he pushed back Ranboo's hair.
'...sink?'
As he walked to the door to open it and leave Ranboo be, he looked at them solemnly. "Aequam memento rebus in arduis servare mentem."
The door closed.
'Fluctuat nec mergitur...tossed by waves...don't...sink.'
'Don't...sink.'
'Don't. Sink.'
Ranboo broke eye contact with the doorknob and slowly sat up. He gripped the sides of the tub and slowly raised himself.
As they stood on their left leg, they raised their right, and re-attached the straps to the sling.
"I'm better than this." He said out loud as he squirted his body wash onto his loofa. After rinsing off, he turned off the water and opened the shower curtain. He then undid the latches.
Grabbing a towel, they wrapped it around their torso and it reached their knees. He clipped it so that it wouldn't fall down with a binder clip that was on the picture above the towel rack.
'Now. Ranboo, how're getting over the lip of this tub?' They looked around the bathroom and locked their eyes on the shower curtain rod.
'Ah, Dream'll laugh at me so much if I fall on my face.' He laughed to himself. Bracing themself, they jumped with all the power in their left leg and grabbed the rod. With the force, he swung forward and let go as he started going back towards the wall behind him. They landed on his good leg with both hands on the bathroom counter.
'Oh thank the gods that that worked.' He grabbed his crutches and opened the front door. While he walked to his THOR#185 (Temporary home of resident #185) he called out; "Nurse Amelia! I'm out of the shower!" She came rushing down the hallway, feeling obligated to help Ranboo with even the smallest things.
People said that he walked with confidence- no; with sureness after this. Contentment, maybe.
The kids they grew up with, such as Eret and Aimsey, liked teasing them by saying they had a straighter stride.
Phil, in turn, always pointed out how that was mean; a reminder that they might end up with a limp. That it was a miracle that his legs worked at all.
Dream didn't think Ranboo would let a limp stop him from having a straighter stride.
— — —
"What're you doing?" Tommy sat up from the long couch.
Tubbo laughed, "well, whilst you slept, the nurse that gave you your meds, she gave me some coloring things, notebook paper, and coloring sheets. She didn't want me waking you."
Tommy finally found his seat beside Tubbo and put his arms on the desk to lift himself over Toby's shoulder. "That's a shit eye."
"Hey!" Tubbo shot his head towards him. "Don't be an arse." Ranboo started to walk into the lounge and sat down at the desk. "It's not like you can do better."
"Haha!" Tommy sneered, "of course I can!-"
"Please be quiet, you two." Ranboo hushed them as they picked up a phone.
They started writing in between each other on the paper, Tubbo showing him what Daggar and Tom's own injuries looked like. Tommy ended up getting a coloring sheet and Tubbo ended up designing new gear for Afinity. Eret had told him enough about they worked the functionalities into the fashion and all to make some decent suggestions.
'Eret can't do it at the moment, so I might aswell-' and with that, was reminded of what happened three days ago. 'Why didn't you stop her? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid-'
"Toby!"
"H-huh?" Tubbo looked up to meet Nurse Nelson's eyes.
"You need a pain shot. It'll wear off soon."
"Umm. Umm, yeah. Yeah, of course. I just...um." He looked to where Tommy should be, but wasn't. 'Oh no.'
He looked for Ranboo, but as expected, he had left while he was zoning out over Afinity's new gear idea.
"Um...Nurse Nelson?" She turned her attention towards him as if he was the center of her attention this whole time. Away from the needle. "Where'd Tommy go?"
She looked into his eyes solemnly. Her green eyes glinted in the bright LED's light. "He's with Afinity. He's a good friend, ya'know. Afinity offered to show him what your injuries look like, and he gladly accepted." She smiled at him before turning with a swoosh of her purple hair, that would drip down her back to her hips if it wasn't in such a high, tight braid. Turning to prepare the shot.
"I'm, well, I think I'll be fine without the shot, ya'know." She turned towards him.
"Nonsense, Toby. You need the medicine, and if you breathe it in you'll be way too sleepy to appreciate the numb."
"I'd rather breathe it in," he sucked air through his teeth.
"Huh?" Her hair hit his hand as she turned. "Oh, sorry. What'd you say?" He started breathing heavily. She quickly put the needle down and sat beside him. "Tubbo? Tubbo look at me." He turned to her. "Nod if you're in physical pain." He just stared at her. "Nod if you're having a sensory overload." He shook his head, but quickly pressed his palm onto his forehead. "Nod if you're having a panic attack." She started massaging the back of his neck to ease the headache.
He nodded quickly. "Ok, Toby, can you speak for me?" He looked at her nervously. "Can you say my name?" He opened his mouth and his voice cut in and out as his sharp breaths interrupted his words. He had meant to say, "I'm sorry, Nurse Nelson, I can't do shots." But it sounded more like 'I sor ry nur Nels can- 't sh shots.' Nevertheless, she smiled sweetly at him.
"What are 5 things you can see?" She asked.
"Uh, um, the- the floor-"
"Haha," she laughed, "no, be more specific."
"Oh, so, sorry. Um...the phone Ranboo- Ranboo was on. Was on earlier."
"Good Tubs! Now, what's another? How about I count to ten and whatever you're looking at when I hit ten is what you say? Does that sound good?"
He smiled as best he could at her. "Yeah, yeah. Ok. Ok."
"Ok, hold your breath as I count. Ready?" He nodded. "3, 2, 1...start!"
He looked away from her and looked all around the room, his brain offering stories he could tell with each thing he locked his eyes on.
"9...10! What is it Tubbo?"
He looked to her, "the tub of, of crayons. My little, my little sister used to only want to, to use the 'special' ones. Ya, ya'know?" He smiled meekly as he twiddled with his thumbs.
"Oooo what else? What'd your sister look like?" Nelson encouraged.
"Oh, oh. My younger sister? She's a dirty blonde and liked to dye, she liked to dye her hair. She, she was the only one of us kids with brown eyes. Well, her, her eyes tended to change color, in a weird, in a weird way. OH! And she is the shortest kid I've ever met. She's shorter than me! That's an accomplishment." He laughed.
"Wow, she seems cool," Nelson laughed. Ranboo ran into the room.
"Is Tubbo ok?!" Nelson turned to him as she rose.
"Yeah, he's good. I called you for other reasons, not because of the panic attack. I could handle it."
"I..."
"Tubs?" She turned to him. "Are you ok?"
"Oh- oh yeah, just, how'd you do that? I forgot I had had one."
"I had a bajillion little ones to take care of as a child, so I got good at calming people down. Sorry if it sounded like I was talking down to you, but I'm the best with little ones, since that's are where most of my experience lies."
She walked over to Ranboo and rustled their hair. "He was my first major patient." She laughed.
"Mhm," Ranboo smiled, "she's great at what she does. I didn't doubt you, but that was alarming."
"Well, that's the thing. He needs a shot, but can't take it. He looked for you and Tommy, so I was hoping that you being here would help? I don't know, you know him better than I do." She looked to Tubbo.
"I feel you; I was terrified of tape for a while. Any type." She smiled sadly. "I'm going to check on someone else, and I'll be back. Ok?"
"Mhm. Yeah, ok." Tubbo smiled understandably back.
She closed the door as Ranboo sat down where Tommy had been. "Hey Tubs, are you gonna be ok with taking the shot if I'm with you?"
"I wish my little sister was here...I MEAN- it's not like you don't help, you really, really do, but I miss her, and she gave me a reason to act, to act like-"
"Hey hey hey, breathe." Ranboo rubbed Tubbo's back. "I get it. Maybe I could find her for you?" Tubbo turned towards Ranboo so fast you would've thought he snapped his neck.
"You could do that?!" He beamed.
"Yeah, I could. I doubt we could get her here before the shot, but we can locate her before the shot. Does that sound good?" He got up to grab the laptop off of the desk as Tubbo giddily let out a yes.
"Ok," Ranboo opened a database of sorts, "what's her name? I'm going to check the worker data base for her name, just in case someone mentioned her."
"Oh, ok. Her name is Lani. She goes by Lanu. And Sky. Last name is Schlatt_ just like mine." He finally stopped rambling due to Ranboo's expression.
"Why are you making that face? You haven't even looked her up yet."
"Um, where are your crutches?"
"Huh? Um, in that corner," Tubbo pointed, "why?" Ranboo got up and got them, helping Tubbo up and walking towards a door after knowing that Tubbo had a good grip on them.
"Follow me."
After going down multiple corridors, they found the main desk. "Nurse Amelia, what's going on in wing B today?"
"Oh!" She smiled sweetly. "Chef Eathel is having her second kid. Oh, and Nurse Maple's first child is healthy, as far as we can tell."
"Awe, I'm glad. Do you know where Miss Priss is located at the moment?"
"Oh, her? That dear, she's so sweet. She was helping clean up the newborns, but I'm pretty sure she's arguing with Gernam at the moment."
Tubbo spoke up, only to be interrupted. "How's this useful to finding my-"
"Why're they arguing?" Ranboo asks.
"Well, they're heading this way to room 58, so you can ask them." And as if on cue, a girl walks backwards towards them whilst yelling at a grown man twice her size.
"You're blaming Macy for the pregnancy?! She was raped you asshole!"
"Don't call me an asshole. I'm your superior. And no, it is not fully her fault, but she shouldn't have gotten drunk wearing what she was wearing."
"Oh this is bullshit." The girl stopped. "This is bullshit, right Nurse Amelia?"
She turned to face her and caught Ranboo's eye. "Oh hey Ranboo. What's up? How're your friends doing? What're their names? I was gonna look them up in the files but got caught up with the newborns."
"Well, one of them's beside me."
"Oh my gods I'm sorry, I'm so out of it. Hi I'm-" she paused. Her hand was outreached to shake the stranger's hand, but when she looked for a stranger's eyes she found her brothers.
"Lani?" Tubbo squeaked out.
"Toby?!" She gasped. "Oh my gods, are you ok?! You're the one that got stabbed in the shoulder?! Oh, are you in pain? Have they given you enough pain shots?- oh wait you probably don't take them. Um, Nurse Amelia, can you order someone to bring the Lidocaine?"
"Um...yeah, of course."
"Oh Toby you shouldn't of-"
She was brought into a hug and heard a faint sniffle followed by a vocal, "Shut up you arse." She laughed as she hugged her brother back and her eyes started to water. When they both pulled apart they wiped their eyes and acted as if they hadn't just hugged for the first time in more than 3 years.
"How'd you even end up here?"
"Well, Eret was poking around Dad's files, and figured out he had 3 kids. He found me in an adoption center, and sis had already left, and you were gone, and by the time we found what adoption agency had taken you in, you snuck out of it." She laughed.
"So...um. You're a nurse?" Lani faked a look of hurt.
"Huh? You don't think I could be a doctor?"
"Huh- no, that not-"
"I'm teasing you, chill." Lani lightly elbowed him. "I'm not technically a doctor, since I'm still in jr. high, but we aren't abiding by the law anyways, so they treat me as if I have a doctorate."
A nurse turned the corner. "She might as well have one."
"Hey, Nurse Nelson." Ranboo smiled.
"Hey, have you decided what you're gonna do about the shots Tubbo? I know you don't want them," Tubbo reached for Ranboo's hand a squeezed it, "but lidocane can only do so much as a spray-on. You need the anti-bodies anyways."
"Well, we didn't really discuss-" Tubbo cut Ranboo off.
"Can Lani give me my shots? No offense, but..."
"Oh no, of course Toby. But, why exactly?" She asked as the pushed her cart to Lani.
"Mason, this is my older brother." Lani grabbed the cart.
"Oh! You're his younger sister! That makes sense. Of course, of course. I'll be here if needed!" She smiled before walking away.
"Well, I'm guessing you have a lot of questions for me, so while we head to your room, you can ask me them." Lani smiled.
"Um...ok. How old were you when you got here?"
"Um...well Ranboo came a couple months before me, but I had been here before. Dad used to throw me here and said I was Auntie's kid. So...7? I was almost 8, but I was 7. You were 11, just about to turn 12, Rabo."
Tubbo laughed. "Rabo?"
"Well, it's the nickname I gave him. Shut up." She sped up.
"Hey that's not fair! I can't keep up!" After she slowed to a normal pace, he finally caught up.
"What do you call him then?" She asked.
"His name."
Ranboo smirked, "oh, I'm calling bullshit. You call me Bow, Boop, Boom, and literally every other variation of boo + 1 or more letters when others are around, and when it's just us or just us and Tommy you call me Boo. Tommy started calling me Ran after finding this out to, quote on quote, 'balance it out.' So, don't even, Tubs."
Tubbo glared at them. "I hate you."
"You love me." Ranboo smiled.
Opening the door to the room, Ranboo helped Tubbo sit as Lani put his crutches against the wall. "Now," she started readying the shots, "any other questions?"
He looked away from her, and the shots, so look at Ranboo as he spoke. "Um, did you train too?"
"Oh, yeah. I used to do field missions."
"Wait seriously?" Tubbo looked at Ranboo in disbelief. They nodded. "Why're you a doctor now?"
"My partner left. I was a duo fighter. I need someone watching my back. We were trained to work together well. When we realized how well we bounced off each other, we used it in combat. We became so much better when it was the two of us. Even if one couldn't do anything but sit in one spot a shoot a bow, we were a unit."
"Um...what happened?"
"She left with Dream." Lani sighed.
"Oh."
"Yeah. Orphic and Caligo. Me and her. The Ascian."
Tubbo looked to Ranboo. "Caligo, that's another name for Dream's sister?"
Ranboo smiled. "Yeah. She was sweet. Your sister is a mean shot, by the way."
Tubbo laughed, then stiffened. 'Why does my arm hurt?' He turned to Lani as he went to grab his arm, and say her holding an empty shot.
"And that was the last one. See? Wasn't to bad." She smirked.
"Well damn." Tubbo laughed as he rubbed his arm.
"Oh my gods guys!" Tommy busted through the door. "Did you know that you can make poisons out of literally anything?" He looked at everyone. "Wait, have I missed something?"
Tubbo laughed. "Nah, just my younger sister tricking me into taking shots. Oh, also meet my younger sister, Lani."
"Wait, WHAT?"