Things just don't go easy for me. The fake news were flashed to my other students and they cut everything off with me except for Jisung and Chenle. My eight students fired me.
"What are you going to do now?" Renjun asks. "You know… she's really a bitch for this hyung. She really is."
I do agree. I don't know what it is that she wants but I really hate it at this moment. I needed the job to add savings and use it for Donghyuck but then here it comes… I got fired. And my agency wants to talk to me, to probably cut me off from them as well.
"My father knows a school—"
"Don't." I said firmly. "I can get away with this Renjun. I will get myself out of this."
"But how?"
"Apply for some jobs again. Even if it doesn't have anything to do with teaching, I will still do it. I need money right now because I have to attend to Donghyuck's needs."
He sighs. "I know. He's been craving for a lot of foods these days…"
I laugh at the imagination of him, asking me to buy him some foods again. "It's adorable, really…"
"You look so fucked up…" Renjun laughs.
"Is it that obvious?" I laugh.
He nods.
"Why hasn't he picked up anything from it though?" I sigh.
Because really, everyone says I obviously like him. Jeno, Renjun and my father told me that once. But I never heard him ask me about what I feel nor did I heard of him talk to me about both our feelings. I'm not sure if Donghyuck still likes me though, so I think this, what we have now, is better.
Renjun and I, both heard a knock.
"Is that Donghyuck?"
My heart beats fast as I project a silly smile. "Most probably…"
I open the door wide and our guess did not fail. It is Donghyuck. He's wearing his loose shirt that he told me that he's comfortable in, his long pyjamas and his usual green crocs.
"Hi…" I smile like crazy. "How have you been?"
"I'm fine…" He looks over my shoulders and pouts. "Why is Renjun here?"
"Uh, bitch… We're friends. I'm not going to steal Mark away from you. Plus, I already have Mister Yangyang!" Renjun scoffs but I almost hit him with my fist because of what he said.
He didn't have to add anything about him stealing me from Donghyuck. I'm Donghyuck's and that will never change. And also, Donghyuck just asked what he's doing here and Renjun's answer was not much of a direct answer.
Donghyuck's long face came into view as he hugs me suddenly. My stomach flips.
"Are you sure you won't steal him from us?"
Renjun laughs. "Why would I?"
"You liked him before!"
"That's why it was before!" Renjun answers which made sense. "I don't know with you anymore…"
Donghyuck huffs as I pull him inside. He never let go of me though. Not until Renjun bid his goodbye since he still has session with Yangyang today.
Donghyuck lets me go. "Since when did you grow close?"
"After… the huge fight we had."
"Which one? Yesterday?"
"No…" I laugh. "About Kang Mina."
"Oh…" He bites his lips and nod as realization hit him. He nuzzles his face on my chin. "I'm sorry about that."
"We're already over that right?" I sigh. "Let's get over it."
"Okay, Melt…"
Another name for me? Donghyuck is really ridiculous that I could just laugh at him. I don't mind a few changes about him. I like it even more because he's expressing it to me and not just to anyone.
"I really like your chin, hyung. I like your beard."
"I don't have much of it though…" I snicker and let him rub his nose into me, specifically my beard that's really short by now.
"Can we watch some movies?"
"I have a class with Chenle today…" I said in disappointed voice. "I'm sorry."
"You can't quit it?" He pouts and asks in a sad voice.
If I have more money to spare I wouldn't even think of leaving home to take care of Donghyuck. But right now, I really have to work, for him. I feel bad about leaving him behind but I really can't ditch Chenle when he and Jisung are the only ones who stayed with me. I need the money for Donghyuck.
"I'm really sorry." I breathe out. "Do you want me to send you to Jeno so you can watch the movie with him?"
"I don't." He replies. "Jeno's at school now."
Meanwhile, he's not.
Memories of our argument last night and my guilt resurfaced. Jeno and Renjun goes to school and… he is just here. Most of the time he's with Jeno and he stays with me if I'm at home.
Donghyuck is not at school with Renjun nor Jeno anymore because he's pregnant and he doesn't want to hear anything from his friends again, especially like what they told him yesterday.
"I don't want to be alone, Melt, please?"
God… What am I to do now? Should I just tell Chenle that I'm sick and just stay here? But then that would ruin my record.
"I… don't know." I breathe out as my voice dwindles. "I'm sorry…"
"Hyung!" Pouting, he says.
"Listen…" I smile. "I'm going to bring you with me, but I need you to stay silent, okay? Don't bother Chenle or me."
"You'll bring me with you?" His lips slowly turned into a sweet smile, removing the sad frown off his face. "I promise I will behave! I won't bother you…"
God, it feels so nice to see Donghyuck like this. He looks so beautiful wearing a smile. I love it when he's happy and I want to make him happy everytime. I want to make him feel all the affections that I failed to give him. I want to make him feel loved and appreciated. Which is why I felt the urge to kiss his forehead gently as I keep his face close to mine. I don't know how the dead butterflies came alive to swarm around my stomach but I know that I loventhe feeling of it.
I hugged him tight and sway his body with me. I love his scent. I love his warmth. I love the fact that he's with me right now.
And it makes me feel so afraid whenever I think of a time when I'll lose him again. I don't want to lose him anytime soon. I don't want to lose him ever again. My body shivers in worry everytime I think of it.
I have to do everything in my power to keep Donghyuck with me, even if it'll ruin me.
"Let's go get changed." I said and let go of him, worried that I might suffocate him.
"I'm not going to change anymore." He laughs. "I like what I'm wearing."
It's cute.
"Fine." I chuckle and then brought him with me. "Let's just go, then…"
📚
A welcoming of Chenle's mother was not I was expecting. With arms crossed over her chest, she looks at me badly.
I think I know where this is going.
"Mister Lee! Is this true?"
"Mom! I told you it's not! Mark is innocent—"
"Shut your mouth, Chenle!" His mother shouts. "I'm asking you Lee!"
"What your son said is true, Ma'am… That is not true—"
"I don't believe you!"
"Why would you ask him then, if you won't believe it?" Donghyuck shouts behind me which left me fazed. With eyes wide open, I try to signal him to go back to my car. This is my problem and only I, should deal with it.
"Ma'am, talk to me. I'm the one—"
"Who are you young man?" Chenle's mother hissed. "Are you with Mark?"
"Yes." Donghyuck replies boldly.
"Oh…" Chenle's mother scoffs. "You look pregnant… Did he rape you too?"
"Fuck it!" I grit. "Lee Donghyuck, get inside!"
"Mom, stop it!" Chenle shouts with me and pushed her mom away. "Mister Mark did not do it!"
"Chenle, what do you know about the world?" His mother gave him a very mad glare. I used this chance to face Donghyuck and hold both his arms.
"You're just nineteen!" Chenle's mother continues.
"Donghyuck, please… Get inside!" I groan.
"Just because he's nineteen doesn't mean he doesn't know anything about this world! You are just a judgemental pathetic woman with a fucking rotten brain!"
"Lee Donghyuck!" I couldn't keep it anymore. I pulled him away from Chenle and his mother then lock him in my car.
I didn't even mind what Chenle's mother told me about. I didn't mind all the hatred and false issues she accused me. I was tired of it all. I was just worried for Donghyuck and as much as possible, I don't want him to be involved in this.
"Why aren't you fucking talking for yourself?"
"Shut it Donghyuck!" I grit.
"No! You always admit to that even if you really didn't!" He shouts, currently holding my arm that's driving.
"Shit. Let go." I warn and push me away but he refuses to do that. One wrong move and I'll have us dead in this case.
"Why? Fucking why?"
"Lee Donghyuck!" I yell very loud as the big truck passes our way. I almost ran into it because Donghyuck suddenly pushed my arm. "Oh my fucking shit—"
"Oh my god…" Donghyuck gasps beside me as I stop the car on the sidewalk. I bite my lips in frustration and look at him disbelief.
"Can't your tantrums wait?" I hiss. "You almost got us dead Donghyuck! I told you to shut it! I told you to stop! I told you not to shout and talk about it anymore! Are you this dumb not to understand that?"
"Why do I not know anything about you?"
"What?" My eyebrows furrow as I plop my arms on the steering wheel. "What the hell Donghyuck?"
"You always shut me off! I don't know why you just recieve words from people! I don't know why you don't like me to protect you in some ways that I can," He is crying. Fuck, my baby is crying. "I don't know why you did that! I don't know why you're scolding me! I don't know why I don't know any fucking thing about you!"
God… He is shaking right now. He is crying and I'm… the cause for it again. He is crying because of what I did. He's hurt because I don't let him protect me from that woman and from Kang Mina. He's crying because I never said anything about the accuses that was made. He's sad because he doesn't know anything about me.
"Jeno told me you punched him because you thought he raped me when in fact, I was the one who did that to you. You're the one who always keeps me safe… You're the one who always protects me… But why aren't you letting me do the same for you?"
Something from his words and his sad tone broke my heart. His sad big eyes didn't help.
He wiped his tears agressively and instead of facing me, he crawls to the backseat and huffed in there. My heart cracks even more, thinking that he doesn't want to sit beside me anymore because of what happened. My baby is sad and he is sulking.
"Donghyuck…" I call out in a small voice. "Come back here."
He doesn't answer. I look at the mirror and saw him still crying. I open my car door and with both my weak limbs, I walk behind the driver's seat and open the door where Donghyuck is on.
"Hey." I repeat as my voice broke. "Look at me, please? I'm sorry…"
"Let's just go." He pushes my hands away and he sobs. "I want to go to Jeno."
I don't want to give him to Jeno. I want him with me. But I don't think he'd still stay with me after this argument. His feelings are valid and if he wants to go to Jeno and refuse to stay with me, that would be valid as well.
Damn. That hurts.
I walk back to the driver's seat, start my car and drive to Jeno, whom is also Donghyuck's home. My heart feels like it's been stabbed over and over whenever I think of this fact.