It's been two years since we took down the Red Room and Yelena and I have freed a decent number of Black Widows and each time is different than the last. It's heart breaking watching them wake up. It hurts to hear Yelena explain to them what happened and that they're free now. I cry after we leave each one and Yelena comforts me.
It's turning into a routine. We locate the Black Widow. We fight them because their instincts kicked in. We break the vial filled with the red dust. They get freed. They say something that a normal person would say. Yelena explains what happened. I walk out of the room to prevent myself from crying in front of the Black Widow. We leave the Widow a little while later and Yelena comforts me as I cry into her. We figure out the next place we're going and we get ready to go there. This is what we do, day in and day out.
Of course, some Widows are harder to locate than others. That means we might have extra time in between because we have to locate the next Widow. We lay low in our time off.
I talk to Nat nightly. Out of my two sisters, I prefer Yelena, but I do love Nat more than she could ever know. Yelena has always been there for me consistently even when we were kids. As a kid, Nat spent a lot of time biking around our neighborhood. In that time, Yelena and I would play together and make up games. It was paradise. We were best friends. When Yelena went to school, I would spend 90% of my day counting down the seconds until we leave to go pick her up.
Yelena, Sonya, another former Black Widow, and I are at a house to free another Black Widow. We enter from the roof and all three of us have our guns out with the safety off.
We find who we're looking for in a hallway with a teacup and saucer in her hand. "Hi there, Ana," says Yelena. Sonya is standing opposite Yelena and I with her gun out. Yelena and I aren't currently holding any weapons.
Ana throws the teacup and saucer at a wall and it shatters. She starts fighting Sonya. Yelena and I stand there waiting for the right moment to engage. Ana turns around and comes towards me and Yelena puts her gun to Ana's head.
When it comes to me, Yelena is almost more protective than Nat. Actually, I take that back. She's more protective these days.
"Do it," says Ana. Yelena doesn't take the shot and she and Ana start fighting. Ana runs down the hallway while fighting Yelena. She throws Yelena to the floor and I fight her only to be thrown into a wall. Yelena gets right back up. I however, lay there for a few seconds. Sonya is fighting Ana. Yelena runs and grabs Ana in a choke hold from behind. She walks backwards a little and Ana frees herself from Yelena and hits her head into Yelena's. Ouch. It hurt me to watch that.
I get up as Yelena does a cartwheel into the next room. She throws Ana to the ground and Sonya hurries over. Ana is struggling. I'm helping Yelena hold her down. "Stop. I'm trying to help you!" says Yelena. "Then why'd you break into my house?" asks Ana. "What? Sonya. Hold her hands," says Yelena. "Hurry! Hit her with the antidote," says Sonya. I hold the vial over Ana's face and I press the button on the vial. This releases the red dust on Ana. She starts coughing.
"The next bit is gonna be really scary, but we're here to help you," says Yelena. We release Ana and she sits up quickly. "Look what you did to my rug. Twenty thousand dollars down the drain. Thanks," says Ana. I move behind Yelena. "Excuse me?" asks Yelena. "I don't think she was brainwashed," says Sonya. "What? You thought I was some rich pervert's prisoner?" asks Ana. "Well yeah. Kind of," says Yelena. "Yeah. I mean, we were," I say. "Wait, this is your house? How can you afford all of this?" asks Sonya. "By doing the thing we're all best at. Killing for money," says Ana.
We're all now sitting in arm chairs by the fireplace. Yelena and Sonya have caught Ana up. I've been mostly silent. "So, how many widows have you helped?" asks Ana. "Many. Many. Yeah, it's hard work. It's hard finding them. It's...It's hard watching them wake. But, it's so worth it. And when we've cleared up all of this mess, we will make good lives for ourselves," says Yelena.
"Yelena, how are your sisters doing?" asks Ana. "She's doing okay," says Yelena referring to Nat. "Good. How about your younger sister?" says Ana. "Lizzie is right here," says Yelena looking at me. "Hi," I say softly. Ana looks at me shocked. "Long story," I say. "And then, you two and Natasha will be reunited and go live your Sex and the City fantasy in New York," says Sonya and she and Ana laugh. I look at Yelena for her response.
Yelena looks down and says "Excuse me." She gets up and leaves the room. "I'll be right back," I say after Yelena is out of the room.
Yelena walks into a bathroom and closes the door. She isn't going to the bathroom. She's just there to find her piece of mind.
I open the door and I hug Yelena. "Thanks, Lizzie, but I really just wanna be alone right now," says Yelena. "Yelena, I think you and I both know you don't like being alone," I say. "I know. I just need to clear my head and take some deep breaths," says Yelena. I nod.
She looks at herself in the mirror for a few seconds before she turns the sink on. Her hands are in the water and she turns to dust. "Yelena!" I shout.
I walk out of the bathroom and I go into the living room. Ana and Sonya are still there talking. "Lizzie, is everything okay? We heard you scream," says Sonya. "Yelena's gone. She turned to dust and disappeared," I say on the verge of tears. Sonya gets up and hugs me.
I make a decision. Whether it's smart or stupid, I'll find out.
"Thanks. Uh. I've gotta go. Nice seeing you two!" I say. I run out the front door. "Lizzie! Wait! Where are you going?" calls Sonya as she chases after me. "To Natasha! I have to make sure she's okay!" I say. "Lizzie, she's in New York! You're in a whole other continent!" says Sonya. "I know!" I say.
I look back and I'm pretty far from the house. Sonya is running after me. She stops chasing me and shouts "Be careful!" "I will be!" I call back to her.
I cry the farther from the house I get. Yelena's gone and I have no idea how or why or even when she'll be back if she can be.
I fly the plane Sonya, Yelena, and I took to Ana's house and I fly it to New York. I might be eight but I'm not an average eight year old. I get to the Avenger's compound after a long flight. It's sunset time when I land the plane on the field.
I knock on the front door. It's opened by a man with a beard. After studying his face for another moment, I realize he's Captain America.
"Hi, is my sister here?" I say. "Who are you?" asks the man. "Oh, sorry. I'm Elizabeth, but you can call me Lizzie. I'm looking for my sister, is she here?" I say. "I'm Steve. Who's your sister?" says the man. "My sister is Natasha Romanoff," I say. "Yeah, nice try. Natasha doesn't have a sister and definitely not one your age," says Steve. "Please, at least tell me if she's here," I say. "Fine. She's here. Let me call her and ask if your her sister," says Steve. "Thank you," I say. "Nat! A kid's at the front door!" shouts Steve.
Nat is at his side in seconds. "Lizzie?! What are you doing here? I thought you were with Yelena. Wait, where's Yelena?" says Nat. "Told you so, Steve. Anyways, Nat, I'm sorry. Yelena turned to dust at Ana's house. Oh, Ana is the name of a Widow we were freeing. Sonya's still at her house. Oh, and I flew the plane here to find you and make sure you're okay," I say.
Nat pulls me into a hug and holds me there as I cry into her. I hate meeting people see me cry, but when it comes to my sisters, I make an exception.
"It's okay, you're gonna be okay," says Nat, soothingly. "I'm sorry," I mumble. "Lizzie, there nothing for you to be sorry for. And let me just say how impressed I am that you flew that plane here by yourself," says Nat. I smile.
"Nat, you want to explain anything to me?" says Steve. "Sure. Steve, this is Lizzie, my little sister. Yelena is our middle sister," says Nat. "Wait, how can Lizzie be your sister, she's five. Your 34," says Steve. I look at Nat who nods reassuringly and she squeezes my hand.
I take a deep breath and say "I'm only two years younger than Yelena and I'm seven years younger than Nat. When we were taken to the Red Room in 1995, Nat was 11, Yelena was 6, and I was 4. They let Nat and Yelena grow up, but they froze me in time until 2014. I was four for 19 years and I was unfrozen and trained for two years before I reunited with my sisters and our parents. By the way, I'm 8 right now. Not 5."
"Wow. Uh. Geez. I don't know what to say. Um. You know, I was frozen in time too. I was frozen for 70 years," says Steve. "Wow. That's a long time. Wait, your Captain America aren't you?" I say. "Yeah. That's me," says Steve. "Cool. My "dad" used to talk about you all the time," I say.
"Wait, why'd you use air quotes on "dad"? Aren't you Nat and Yelena's sister?" says Steve. I look at Nat for this one. "Sorry," I mumble.
"There's nothing to be sorry about. As we learned two years ago, Alexi wasn't much of a dad. Steve, she used air quotes because in 1992, she, Yelena, and I were paired together with two adults to be our "parents" for a mission where we'd pose as a family in Ohio. We might not be blood sisters, but we're as good as. So, don't mess with her because if you mess with her, you mess with me. I know that's more of something I should say to Tony, but I just wanted to let you know," says Nat.
"Ok. Um, Lizzie, I'm sorry for how I acted when you got here. That wasn't nice of me," says Steve. I laugh. "It's okay! Really, it's fine. I've been treated a lot worse than that," I say. Nat nods in agreement.
Nat brings me upstairs to her room. It's in this moment that I realize I'm still in my suit from freeing Ana. It's the white suit that matches Nat and Yelena's. Well, Nat traded with Melina but, I don't mind. Even though we were all trained to be the Black Widow, Nat's the Black Widow, Yelena is the White Widow, and I'm the Red Widow.
"Lizzie, do you want to change out of your suit, or are you comfortable?" says Nat. "Oh, can I grab a change of clothes from the plane? I'll be right back," I say. "Yeah! You want me to come with to make sure you don't get lost? It's getting dark out," says Nat.
I nod and the two of us hold hands as we walk outside. The night air feels nice. I walk onto the plane with Nat close behind me. I grab two changes of clothes and my toothbrush and toothpaste and walk back into the compound with Nat. We go upstairs to Nat's room.
"You know, I could just sleep in the plane if that's easier," I say. "Lizzie. You are not sleeping in the plane. I'll give you a decision. You can sleep in my bed with me or you can sleep in the guest room. Either one works for me. And before you say it because I know you will, you won't be a burden no matter which one you choose," says Nat. I smile. "Thanks, Nat. If it's not too much trouble, can I sleep with you tonight? I don't wanna be alone," I say.
I'm used to sleeping with Yelena. It brings me comfort knowing that my sister is right there to protect me and comfort me.
"Of course you can Lizzie. I'm right here no matter what," says Nat.
I smile and then I walk into Nat's bathroom to shower and get changed into PJs. I look in the mirror and I see the big bruise on my back from when Ana threw me into the wall. After I'm showered and changed, I walk back into Nat's room.
"You hungry?" asks Nat. "Only if you are. I ate a bag of goldfish during the flight," I say. "Lizzie, a bag of goldfish is not dinner," says Nat. "I also ate a packet of gummies," I say. "Lizzie, come with me. I'm making you a real dinner," says Nat.
I give in and let her lead me downstairs. Nat makes us Mac & Cheese. I smile as this reminds me of Yelena. She loves Mac & Cheese. She even pours hot sauce on it. Well, she likes to put hot sauce on everything. I don't know how Yelena eats anything with hot sauce on it. Thankfully, Nat and I eat it plain. After I thank her profusely for everything, she brings me back upstairs.
I brush my teeth and climb on the edge of Nat's bed. I'm almost off the bed. Nat scoots me into her bed further.
"I'm not letting you sleep on the edge, missy," says Nat. "Sorry. I just don't want to be a burden or a problem or any trouble at all," I say.
"Lizzie, no more of this "I'm a burden, I'm a problem, I'm a lot of trouble" stuff. That's Red Room stuff that's in your head. The Red Room is destroyed and you helped me and Yelena do that. Your safe and sound now and all you have to do is be a kid. Live a little. Have fun. And also, remember that you matter. Good night, Lizzie. I love you," says Nat. "Good night, Nat, I love you too," I say. Nat smiles and kisses the top of my head.
"I'll be back in a little while. I'll be downstairs with Steve and the other adults, okay? I promise to keep the noise down and I'll let them know you're here if you want," says Nat. "Ok! And yes, please tell them I'm here so I don't have to go through the chat we had with Steve again," I say. "Perfect. You need to get some sleep, honey," says Nat. "Ok, love you. Good night," I say. "Good night, Lizzie. If you need anything, you know where to find me. I'll be in the living room or the kitchen," says Nat. I nod.
After Nat leaves, closing the door behind her, I lay awake for a few hours thinking about Yelena. I miss her. I'm replaying the memory of her turning to dust over and over in my head. I think I'm traumatized. Well, more traumatized than I already am anyways.
I roll over and look at the clock on the nightstand. It's 11:00 PM. Nat put me to bed around 9:00. I switch gears and let good memories of Yelena play in my mind. "I miss you, Yelena," I whisper. I drift off to sleep gazing out the window.